Writings :: Musings and Sketches for Training Pt l. Creativity. Evolution. God The Mother. Amera Ziganii Rao

Marlene Pt ll 

Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art

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Writings :: Musings and Sketches for Training Pt l. Creativity. Evolution. God The Mother. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Creativity. Amera Ziganii Rao  

The journey of an artist. True creativity. Sexualisation. Authentic Power. Vision. Spirit. Soul. Freedom of the mind, body and soul. Profound, original, authentic creativity. You. 

The first question for any artist, is what is waffle. Waffle was the bane of my life. It’s what every teacher told me I was. Outside of essays and school exams, I was regarded as very intelligent and very entertaining and very erudite, and then as soon as I put pen to paper, I was told it was waffle. 

It has taken me all these years and this end of the journey to finally recognise that I was an artist, long before I became one – even though the word has such self important connotations, that one can’t even use it without doubting one’s own modesty and humility.

A true creative, an artist. I’ll say it and I’ll say it out loud. 

So by the time I left school with A levels that might as well have been failures, I thought I was stupid. Me. The reason I focus on my enormous mind with such frank self appreciation is because like being a woman, no one else is ever going to say anything to back up anything powerful about me, outside of the fact that I am a pussy and a womb.

And that is because I am not of the cerebral, scientific, toilet world community. The other tribe. Not the science of Einstein or any great, just the mediocrity of a scientific, factual world that demands anything is backed up by facts, that demands proof of spiritual healing in tangible, factual data and so on. Stupidity basically. The cerebral stupid society to go along with the patriarchal and matriarchal toilet tribe of womb stealing and female genocide. 

Waffle is feeling. Feeling, imagination and emotional expression. If that is waffle, then thank you. Thank you, thank you and thank you for telling me that I am one of the most creative human beings on this planet. Because that is the truth of waffle. And I love it. Waffle, waffle, waffle and waffle. That is creativity and anything else is factual nonsense, billed as art. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

Claudia Cardinale 

Evolution. Amera Ziganii Rao 

As I look at marriage and relationship and the three most fascinating and traumatised in so many ways, female icons of the big screen, Vivien Leigh, Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe and when I look at my own so called addictive patterns of trying to work out relationship from the inside out, rather than stepping away as I have finally done and creating a new template and going through the quite extraordinary pain and fear to do so, I see evolution and the factor that we never take into account. 

We are always trying to work out relationship from the inside out. Always trying to make both relationship and life and family and society work from the inside out. We are so – despite ourselves – unconsciously trapped in a system that we actually can step out of at any time and start creating a new one all over again. But today, I sit in shock, and awe, that I have never actually thought of it and what I think of most is the perspective of the world that is so entrenched that we just automatically keep thrashing around in it, to see if we can change it, when what is being called for, it seems, in every aspect of my life and I would say in everyone’s life, is change. Complete change. 

Reincarnation is a nebulous concept still in our religion vernacular based society – believers or non believers, we pre – occupy ourselves with whether God exists or not, not about all that we are unconsciously brainwashed with, which passes itself off as the all sacred so called wisdom of a sort of philosophy that actually runs all our lives without us even thinking of it, such is the early start on our minds, right from the Nativity play at nursery school, all the way through to the service held at our funeral or at the funerals of those we have loved and lost. Culture, we call it. Tradition, we call it.

We may not believe in God, but we certainly believe in a system that is of that God, apparently. And therefore, we believe, without thinking, that feudalism, male supremacy, family supremacy and above all, the concept of marriage, exists and is the norm and therefore, every single think we do is led by that drive to have a successful relationship and marriage and family and everything we do is led by that drive to make it a success. 

The idea that it is actually a completely wrong way of existing does not even occur to us. It certainly never occurred to me and I can see it all around me. We take it as normal, we take it as the only way of existence in the world and we take it as the only way of existence we even want to be involved with. 

As I am going through the pain of alchemy to change from one kind of woman to the next, with all the thousands of levels of fears and doubts and discomforts that alchemical change brings, I am in a state of disciplined wonder at what is coming. And what I am changing into. And as I look back on the idea of 8000 years, the years and the lifetimes of relationships and non relationships and everything to do with relationships, I am stunned at the realisation that we have no vernacular in our every day philosophies and thoughts to describe the revolution that is clearly beginning to happen all over the world. 

We live in special times indeed and in our religion based non imaginative, turgid minded idea that there is one life and we are living it and that reincarnation is some weird, namby pamby Eastern concept that has nothing to do with hour lives, I can see how close minded we are as a people and that however much one thinks and one courts thought, we are essentially stupid. 

We are just stupid and turgid and mis educated to such an extent that we have no idea what is already here and what is available and what is right in front of our faces. 

I think of those three magnificent women who were all great artists in their own right. Marilyn Monroe had a production company, Elizabeth Taylor worked so long and so hard and every single film she did was so extraordinarily literary and profound, Vivien Leigh was the same at an even earlier time and yet what these three women share is that they were always splintered in their minds and beings, about relationship and career. 

And I utterly and completely relate. And I think about my twin soul and how he is also in a state of shock today. How everything we have known, perhaps for lifetimes together, and certainly for lifetimes, is relationship and marriage. That is all we have known. 

The mind, it should be remembered always, is, as all spiritual and emotional teaching states, from the ancient wisdom right through to Neuro Linguistic Programming, a sponge of information access. Anything can be put into the mind and anything can be re-programmed. It is extraordinarily uncomfortable, terrifying and painful, but it can always be done. Our resistance as human beings is clearly legendary. “Oh, we don’t learn from history” goes the saying. Well, that is true, only because we as human beings are extremely slow and stupid to change. It is all in us and it is all creation and these are concepts that I as someone who has studied them for 15 years, still find hard to automatically remember, such is the state of the human mind of change or should I say, non change. 

As I am now starting to step out of everything I seem to have known, it is painful and it is uncomfortable and it is terrifying but I love it and am so in a state of wonder as to what is going on. Everything has been about living in THAT system. The male system of thought, fact and logic. And of course, relationship, working to their rule, their rules, their ways, their method, their wishes, their wants and their structures. 

And it all has everything to do with survival. I once asked my mother what was most important to her about her marriage with my father. They have been divorced for as long as they were married. And her word was actually ‘comfort’. But what was in her face was ‘survival’. There is a fascism that exists that is so all pervasive and so hidden and so unspoken and it is all to do with why women are so obsessed as it is so often said, about relationship. As if we are just idiots who are obsessed by love. Nothing wrong in that either really, if it was just about love, but it is also about breaking down, what exactly is love. What is it that we as women are so focused on to the exclusion of all else, despite ourselves? Despite ourselves, being the key.

Women earn 10% of the world’s income. Go figure. Why do they, we earn only 10% of the world’s income? For many reasons, all as ugly as each other. And there is nothing to make that easier to digest. I have felt a sickness in my stomach for over a year, as I have begun to understand the full extent of what is going on in this world and any woman who switches off right now and walks away from my work, is not someone I will ever blame, for not being able to take the full truth of it. 

Fascism. Fascism is the process of total authoritarianism and an extreme hogging of funds and all resources and a nationalism and tribalism that makes a football fanatic look like he is weak willed and complacent. That is fascism as defined officially. Fascism is the process of male hogging of resources, male supremacy in marriage and male supremacy in society, that demands relationship, marriage and a woman to be at home while he does the work and ‘looks after her’. No one bought that more than me. The concept of being ‘looked after’. 

I genuinely and am not embarrassed at all to have done so, believed that there were bad men who were fascists in this sense – my father being a karmically expert presence of experience – and there were good men who were in the same system. That is what I thought and I am sure, that is what most women think. That there are sexists and there are enlightened men. 

That may be true. I don’t know, I have never met a good man who I have been emotionally involved with on that level. I have never met a man I could say, for sure, was not a controller, or abuser of power in this particular sense I am talking about at all actually. And I am almost 50 and have known many many people. But if you say it exists, it exists. 

That however is irrelevant. And the point of my work. I don’t care anymore whether there are good men in that system or not. I am bored of looking and I am fed up of even trying to believe that. Because it is not the individuals that are the problem. It is the SYSTEM. What I am now discussing however and experiencing is something completely different. I am discussing and creating a NEW system, a system where I am not subordinate to any other human being, reliant on any other human being and BEHOLDEN to any other human being. Inter dependency is the psychological name for it. A long way to go before that can happen, because to heal and change and create oneself anew and indeed, to create a new system, takes separatism and healing. And I am ready and willing to embrace it and to therefore talk from this new place of new creation. 

And to do that is to of course, talk about the old system in the process of alchemy and re-creation. And the biggest word, the only thing to really focus on in re-programming is co-dependency. Women, me, you, every woman of every archetype has been involved with co-dependency with fascism. That is the old system. It doesn’t matter how harshly or how softly, how benevolent or how cruel the patriarch or matriarch of the patriarchal system is, it is co-dependency with fascism, to rely on anyone to do with anything of that system. And that is not easy to digest and certainly not easy to change. 

As I let go of my man now and focus on purpose and my new life, I wonder if it is the pain of letting him go or the pain of re-programming that is affecting me more. I am re-programming into life and purpose and the absolutely enjoyment of my work as it is and know that to re-programme takes the massive task of self responsibility, more than anything else. And the truth of the matter is that if we take self-responsibility to its zenith, I do not actually want a relationship right now. And for someone who loved and adored men and love, that is a phenomenal admission and one that I am sure you know how proud I am to be able to own that. I want to focus on my purpose and making something of myself and to know that my ‘obsession’ for receiving and sharing some love on this planet was actually a quest to find out why no one seemed to love ME, when I find out that actually, love for ANYONE is the rarest thing on Earth, and for any WOMAN in particular to be loved for who she is, as opposed to the whole range of profane stereotypical roles we are ‘loved’ for, I sit here and breathe twenty thousand sighs of relief. 

It’s over. That mad quest for a madness that made me mad. Fascism does that. As it is said more and more today, ‘nothing is by accident’. Our vernacular is changing slowly into wisdom and that is beautiful and glorious, despite the machine of pseudo scientific, pseudo intellectual turgidity that is the normal world. And nothing is by accident, for real. Obsession is not just some empty madness that is peculiar to the female species. Men would have us think so. And for me, I think now about the glorious films of the 1950s in particular from Hollywood and of course, the ‘angry young man’ epoch of playwriting across both sides of the Atlantic. The angry young man. 

As Emmeline Pankhurst said in her famous speech, and this is why it is not about changing other people anymore, because no one is ever going to listen, if men were denied this or that, wouldn’t they react to it, as women are. And that is the point. The angry young men films, which to me, include James Dean’s characters in Rebel without a Cause and East of Eden, are now a template of cognitive profiling for women. We have to look at those stories and those films and get angry. Oh, yes, we already are angry. The difference for us, is that, like people of colour and especially black people, we are called mad. 

The responsibility of sifting and filtering through information for a woman is the most skilled genius she will ever attain. As Simone de Beauvoir said, women have to re-write their own histories and stories. To do that, means applying re-programming skills and the genius of sifting and filtering like you would never believe. 

And that is not a problem. Because women have the gift. Wisdom is not just intuition, wisdom is analysis, feeling, and all of that put together ten fold, twenty fold and a hundred fold. The pain is another matter. We are also, even male legend has it, good at pain. So we have the gifts across the board. 

The issue however is the process and the commitment. For alchemy to exist and thrive, you have to become a magician. A magician is a re-creator and a re self creation. To do that, needs motivation. The magicians’ single, greatest tool is motivation. With that, you can do anything and programme anything and re-programme anything. The motivation to leave men and create a new life for yourself and a new system which they can or cannot join you in later is the key. And the most difficult thing to accept and I can say out loud that I would never have accepted it, if I had not been violated out of all existence. 

That is your guarantee. If you begin the journey and you are splintered, healthily enough to feel agony at existence, because you want love and you want vocation too and you want to know how you are going to merge the two things together, the Universe will most certainly provide. 

Alchemy, with the use of our terrestrial guardians, our inner guardian and our celestial guardians. The process of alchemy is real, nebulous, pragmatic, real, unreal and the whole, all at the same time. The HEROIC Journey is for women, not men. We are here to make that journey and their Hero’s Journey equivalent is their own affair and frankly, quite shallow and mediocre by comparison. We need to create our own values and if that means putting ourselves ABOVE them, then so be it. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant. What is true, is that we have 8000 years of self hatred and self abnegation and torture from the male world to overcome and heal. And that means self love to extraordinary and frankly, as cheeky as we fucking well want it to be. 

Angry young women? You ain’t seen nothing yet. The beautiful paradox of course, as I am sure some of you can see, is that I am not angry anymore whatsoever. Now, it is about getting even, it is about justice and it is about NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM WHATSOEVER. And for men, that must surely be the worst insult of all. 

Because everything, whether we are colluding, whether we are fighting, whether we are running after them, whether we are emotionally caring for them, whether we are working with them, working for them, cooking for them, serving them, sexing them, sexing for them, it is always about THEM. That is the extent of the range of their fascism, unconscious though it may be. And I am sick of it and I am sure, deep down, you are too. 

They are pretty. And? Napoleon Hill talks to men in the 1930s in his phenomenal ‘Think and Grow Rich’ about ‘transmuting sex emotion’. No one has to do that more than a woman. That is our task and it is excruciating and it is devastating when we find out WHY we have to transmute that sex emotion. He talks about transmuting it to become creative and constructive and focused. Sure. Women have to do that too but then we have to do it all over again, to get the fuckers and their stupid fucking system out of our fucking lives. That is two journeys to transmute sex emotion. And we are the only ones who can tell ourselves about that because we are the only ones who give a shit. 

And that’s fine. African Americans did it, Jewish survivors did it and so many groups of people have done this in history. But as I keep saying and it can never be underestimated how difficult and unique and therefore great women are on a completely different level, we are doing it with our nearest and dearest. African Americans were enslaved and are enslaved on a new socio economic level by an outside different community. Not their families and not their husbands and not their wives or brothers, sisters, and anyone else who is in league with the Patriarchal Toilet Tribe Society. Jewish people were gassed and genocided in their millions but they were not killed by their nearest and dearest. As Primo Levi talks about in his work, so well, he and so many people remember with horror how their first abuse in the concentration camps came from other Jewish inmates. These things are prevalent in all forms of abuse under all fascism. But for women, we are enslaved into fascism from our nearest and dearest, WITHOUT EXCEPTION. 

The way that people, men, fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, work colleagues, friends, doctors, officials, anyone copes with that, and women alongside them – we are all poisoned by the same system of male authoritarianism, whoever metes it out – conduct themselves within that system is actually irrelevant. I can see the nobility of those who have done well and become kind, DESPITE the system, sure. I honour anyone who can be enlightened enough to be good to a woman, in any situation, under all circumstances, primarily, because I know what it feels like when a person abuses me as a woman. I remember every single incident in my life and there are tens of millions, and I am sure, if you think about it, you can remember too.

Like it happened yesterday, because it probably did happen yesterday. Fascism and gender abuse towards women is as casual as anything could be and as intrinsic a part of our vernacular and life as a piece of toast. It’s everywhere, all the time, in every single part of society, in every single piece of media, conversation, image, relationship and incident. Everywhere. 

But that is not the point. The point is that we are now evolving into a new world. And you get the chance, horrific and painful as it may be for a large part of it, to change your world and change yourself forever, so you don’t even have to be afraid of that abuse ever again in your life. That is the new world and the new system and it is as far away from Patriarchal cruelty or benevolence, as anything could possibly be and that is amazing. 

What I am experiencing now is the aftermath of revolution. I am still quaking in terror from the very deepest part of me, about survival. Gender abuse is not just disempowerment, putting you down, objectifying you, profanely wanting to fuck you like a piece of meat, while hating the very existence of your presence, hating you because all people hate what they fear, control to make me a wife and mother and womb vessel instead of a human being with human rights, it is the act of survival in a male, fiscally hogging world. The whole system is set up to dominate women financially, so we will remain slaves. That is the financial whoremongering I talk about in my new hijacking of the phrase that is normally kept for ‘whores’. I say that financial whoremongering is marriage. And whether a man does it well or not, it is not allowed anymore in the new world. In your new world. And that is very hard to embrace and very hard to let go of. But it must be done. 

The waves of terror and pain and nausea and shaking that come over me as I heal in my refuge of my new life now are overwhelming, consistent and persistent. That is the process of healing. As I now rely on the state for my disability care, which is the most stunning thing that has ever happened to me, I shake uncontrollably with every delay or doubt that happens. And it takes me hours and sometimes days to realise that I am projecting my terror that I have been carrying around my whole life, onto my present situation. I am disabled and I am dealing with professionals and it is my destiny to be cared for now in this ‘positive discrimination’ magical phase of my life as I find my own feet in life through my new vocational life. That is my equivalent of being in a refuge for battered wives. 

Another vital point. Being physically beaten from day to day is not an experience I have ever had and would never presume to say that I know about. At the same time, I most certainly do know about it, because the psychological warfare of being battered for being female is the most generic, widespread, every day, every minute experience of 300 billion people on this planet. Male fascism is everywhere and we live in their system. We are the outsiders. 

The gypsies, the nomads, the whores, the prostitutes, the entertainers and the soothsayers and ‘fortune tellers’. That is ALL women. The only women that are accepted into polite society, are the ones who hide that part of themselves so effectively, that they ‘pass’. They ‘pass’ for male dominated women. That is the equivalent of a ‘coconut’ or ‘oreo’. The derogative terms for black people who pretend to be white. Women who live in the male system, that is all of you and was me until I was forced out of it, are colluders, by our very nature. And that is shocking and you feel deeply insulted as I would have been myself. 

But it is true. 

It is true, because in doing that, in fighting for our rights, in negotiating with men, we are colluding by the very nature of the game, because we are doing it in THEIR system, with THEIR rules. 

We are now ready to create a new world and a new system. And you don’t have to even leave your home. It is about creating a new system in your world, in yourself and in your life. Self Actualization needs no one else. The man or men or women in your world, will join you later, if they will. 

The biggest factor that changes overnight is the endless self blame and self scrutiny of so called co-dependency. Co-dependency is a huge factor all in itself and should have a whole movement dedicated just to it alone. Co-dependency may debatably be the cause of everything and at the same time is also the result of fascism. Directly. Any person who has a hold of control over another evokes co-dependency by their very nature, or rather, by the nature of the coercive control. Co-dependency is a polite word too, for collusion. And we all know, from the way the French Resistance vilified the so called ‘collaborators’ after World War ll, how collaborators and colluders are regarded. I’ve been there and condemned forever. At the same time, I have had to face the awful and embarrassing and totally understandable truth that co-dependency is also, in a manner of speaking, collusion. 

Over the years, for instance, I have got back in touch with my father and always have, after a time with him, had to ask him for money, as I was at different stages of my life. Each time it has happened, I have examined my motives and decided that it was ‘legal’ because, despite my telling myself the opposite, I did want to find out what the matter was with our relationship and I did want to give it time and I did want to give it another chance and I did want to find out if he had a heart at all and what the problem was and why he made my skin crawl. And I did want to find out what the issues were with relying on other people and what was right and what was wrong. And it was not easy. Asking my father for money, when I was young, was a case of going into his study and giving a presentation on why I needed £5. I learnt to sell and pitch very early, but it did no end of harm as you can imagine to any notion of relying on anyone. I was born an adult. I have never had a childhood and I have no idea how to ask for help. And this, in a so called Patriarchal benevolence, caring, providing for and protecting atmosphere. It is all a blatant lie of abuse of power and I learnt first hand what the realities are. 

So, despite all this atmosphere of judgment, penalisation and the absolute likelihood of him saying no, I was always in a position where I had to ask for his help. No self blame nor any excuses – I needed his help. I have done a whole series of writings on ‘learned dependency’ and that again, is a whole movement in itself. There is also the journey of vulnerability, disability and emotional trauma that leads any person into waters that are too deep to cope with. These are all valid and important vulnerabilities and disabilities to say out loud and the only way to deal with this is compassion. Anything else is cruelty, judgment and selfish greed of the broken, wounded, vengeful heart. We’ve all been there and some of us stay there. There are people who have asked for my help over the years and I was not there for them and I know that. 

Learned dependency on the other hand is a direct abuse of the patriarchal system and a very good reason why, alongside the rampant misogyny of money hogging of the male world, women have only just begun to start balancing the books as it were and it will be a very long journey. Both our inner war and the war against the money hogging male world of male supremacy and the Toilet Tribe Society. And any woman or any person, but a woman in particular who manages to reverse learned dependency in the midst of that, with that kind of legacy, deserves the Nobel Prize, such is the pressure to conform to be learned dependent while being vilified for needing anyone at all. That is fascism and the most common and endemic madness of it all and affects again, only those who rely on the system and are at the bottom of the pile. 

And as I say, I know that my life has led me to so many situations where I had to see this for myself. My life, and I would say all life, is an artist’s canvas and palate. Every single situation, event, non coincidence and action in one’s life is to teach us to go one way or the other and while life leads us into the most precarious and painful directions, everything really does make sense in the end. If you are lucky. If you follow the signs and act on what you come across and experience. And I would say that any life becomes clear at that moment of pre death, if not before. We come here to experience a certain set of circumstances. We don’t know what they are, but we recognise them when they come along. Everything is pre determined, but as the great Morpheus says in the great The Matrix, “there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path”. Everything is about process and experience. The structure is already defined and we are required to fill in the details. That is fate and destiny. We master our destiny, by following our fate. And mastering one’s destiny is the ultimate path of all ultimate paths on Earth and yet, paradoxically, we master every destiny we are given, lifetime after lifetime, until the big one. 

The transformation. The life of alchemy, to become an alchemist. To really master one’s destiny once and for all. 

What I am saying through this esoteric definition of life, is that every single time I have asked my father or any person I have been involved with, for help, I have absolutely, utterly hated it. I have so resented being in that situation and after 15 years of a chronically painful and disorientating disability, I have now finally understood what has been going on and why I was forced by fate, into a situation where I had to constantly ask for help and put myself at such risk and such vulnerability. 

Frankly, if it was up to me, I would never have asked a single person for anything in my entire life. I do currently believe in Jean Paul Sartre’s statement “Hell is other people.” 

I have no exact knowledge of what context he said that in, but for me, symbolically, co-dependency and that statement and the knowledge, finally that the whole system of asking for help and the money hogging male world of male supremacy and the Toilet Tribe, is fascism and colluding and negotiating with sharks and with the devil on Earth. 

And the fact that I am being broken out of all methods of subliminally or just slightly relying on another person, namely a man, namely my man, is the greatest pain I could ever experience in 8000 years. It is the redemption of all lives that I have waited for and I urge you to make the same journey to true freedom and a new way and a new world forever. 

You see, working within the system as I unconsciously was, because like most of us, I thought there was no other way, I thought there were good men and bad men. And that the aim of life, in simple terms, was to find a good man and to forget about the bad men. Wrong. 

It is about the men and it is not about the men in any way. Yes, things are comparatively better when it is a good man. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never met one. But I know, from other women, that they do exist. This fact though is irrelevant and again, is why I was born to such an extreme level of fascism, while knowing that there are a hundred other levels above the one I was born to. I wasn’t beaten, I wasn’t raped, I wasn’t sexually abused as a child or young girl, I wasn’t so many things. But what I was, was a severe example of the psychological warfare meted out on any girl under male supremacy fascism. They are all just different levels of the same thing. 

I see a woman negotiating with a man every where I look and the difference with me, the reason, clearly why men didn’t come near me after bewitching me with their presence and penetrating me psychically and psychologically, is because I clearly looked as if I wouldn’t negotiate, long before I even knew that myself. That was my salvation and the bitter nights of loneliness and feeling rejected as I have spent for almost 30 years, have gone. I thought it was ME that men did not love. And I am sure, there are millions of women who share the same sentiment. The programme of propaganda to sell the idea of man and marriage to women is extraordinary and puts George Orwell’s Big Brother, into a completely new and modernist context again. Just for women. The machine of selling marriage, babies, love, romance and the worship of men is stupendously sophisticated, old and skilled and I bought it, hook, line and sinker. 

I loved men. I had no idea that there was this endemic fascism between us and now I know the truth, that men just do not love women, I am free. 

Feminism of course said the same thing. Unlike feminism, I am not advocating giving up on them entirely and at the same time, I am. And this is why, despite all the accolades, any sane, thinking woman gives that incredible movement that gave us equal pay and took us out of the roles of only secretaries and into so many different areas and ways of being, feminism just does not sell. 

This is post feminism. This is about saving both women and men in a new society. But first, we have to heal ourselves and take ourselves to the promised land. Men will listen only long after us. My man is still in resistance and could be for years and years, for so many reasons, let alone the journey to become soul which is, as it turns out, the same for all of us, but very different as a man and a woman and very different in archetypes all over again. 

This is equalization and it is also sexualisation and it is also A Return to the Temple. Feminism was also primarily about institutional misogyny and how it affects women worldwide, outside of the home as well as in the home. Changing the world. My work is about changing ourselves from within and changing our lives so that we get the fuck out of dodge and create our own new lives. My work is about comforting you if you have begun the journey and are wailing in distress and pain as the Universe has taken you further and further into your demons of despair and you have lost everything and you don’t know what comes next and my work is to inspire you to make that journey in the first place, and warn you that every pit you fall into on the treacherous journey to rise up against your nearest and dearest is worth it. Every single one. Anyone who knows me, knows I have shouted and bemoaned my fate and been in a state of shock for years, as to how awful this journey can be. But would I change any of it? No. Am I still in a state of shock. Fucking right. I don’t know if I will ever not be in a state of shock and it’s okay. I know from racism, and it is a very good example and even fattism which is another brilliant example, especially if I am primarily talking to women or people who are not the conventional superstardom norm of physical beauty. People are still racist. That is never going to go away. But I no longer care as it will never affect my heart or my soul or disempower me, whatever happens, whatever someone says, however much someone may discriminate against me. Same with fattism. I will never be the right size for conventional society and I am someone who weighs a lot more than I look so even when slimmer, I am still termed as off the scale. I no longer care. It does not affect me. And when I look at those two areas, the fattism in particular, as I put on a lot of weight during the first 8 – 10 years of my illness journey which has been 15 years now, that is a miracle. A miracle of alchemical achievement. 

I have re-programmed myself, mentally and physically it seems, back into myself for the first time since I was 6 and abused with such venom by a cruel ‘Cruella daVille’ teacher. A little sweet puppy dalmation stood in front of her and she killed me dead. For almost 40 years I could not speak in public or be myself because of that bitch from hell. And now I no longer care. I just do not care. And that is now where I am getting to fast with misogyny. I can see it in mens eyes. They know I desire them – I am over my broken heart and can feel an incredible state of transmuted sexuality in each and every moment of my existence now – but I am the one who is now window shopping. Because, first, I love someone and there is no one after him for me – he is my twin soul after all and not even just my soul mate – and second, and most importantly, I know who they are and I know why they desire me and I know what is desire and what is love and I am okay. I don’t care anymore. And it infuriates, confounds and irritates and mesmerises them all at the same time. 

I am this circus vocational non whore independent superstar who is poor and on benefits and I walk down the road like I am Elizabeth Taylor. Because I no longer care and because no man will ever have a hold over me again. I love the desire, I enjoy the desire and I enjoy looking at them with desire. But it stops there. No yearning, no wishing, no looking for someone better than my man, because I know one fundamental fact. I don’t think I have ever met an enlightened misogynist who has healed from it yet. And that is amazing. I live in Central London, I have the psychic intuitive abilities of a wizard and I have not come across one face anywhere, where I think the misogyny is now in check, as a former racist is no longer racist. That is shocking. 

And it is also stunning because clearly, we are going somewhere completely new and I can feel what it is and I know I and many people will get there. Many women and men if they choose to follow, too. 

But the men will come last. They don’t have a fucking clue what is going on and they are too enraged that they will have to give up power. They know the new world is biting at their heels, they can feel it everywhere. They know that the time of the ‘Donald Drapers’ is gone and they are going to hold onto the last vestiges of that for as long as they can. And they are angry and sulky and hate us even more. 

Hate. Misogyny is hatred of women. Financial whoremongering is hatred of women and hatred of their role in society, even though they glory in the power and status it gives them. Ergo, pure abuse of power. 

I have seen it in men, I have seen it in women. Abuse of power, with those who would be kings and queens. The Sean Bean character in Lord of the Rings. The most corruptible of them all, who gets completely seduced by the ring, before Frodo makes sure he never goes near it again. 

And the question is what makes men hate women. Hate is caused by fear. Men fear women. Why do men fear women? It is not religion and its stupidity that has made men hate women. It is not these stupid ego beliefs of hocus pocus sheit that have made men hate women. Men hated women, in order to create religion and take us out of the temple. This is about our return to the temple and nothing less. And that is vast and again, a whole movement in itself. We will cover all these things. And it will blow your mind. And you will love it. 

But the long and short of it is this. To do that, to evolve, to be able to let go of men, in order to actually find the men in the men in the first place, ie, later, much later, even if it is the same man, as mine will be, takes an exit from the worst handicap we have. Co-dependency. Co-dependency is being with someone out of need. Anyone. From your partner to your friend, to your job, to your acquaintances to your enemies. Enemies certainly are out of co-dependency too. Co-dependency is basically, need. We, women, have been brought up it seems, in the nurture versus nature argument, this is all a discussion, but is veering more and more to the answer as I write, women have been brought up to feel they need people, they need a provider, they need a partner, they need a man, they need a mother, they need a family, they need children, they need other women, they need friends, they need, need, need and need. Apparently, men do not. 

Bollocks. I have found out, through making all the mistakes that I imagine you are making or have made, that this is all simply bollocks. Literally. It is all a myth. Women are not born as relationship vocationals. That is what society has had us believe. That everything we do is about relationship, if we want to be happy. Any kind of relationship anywhere. The idea that “I want to work with good people”, “it doesn’t matter what the job is, just the people”. These are phrases I have said myself. And believed. It’s bollocks. We are so drowned by our own hype of their propaganda, that we no longer know who we are. And it’s not surprising. I wouldn’t be surprised, if men just hate women, because of the simple fact, as feminism said, that we have the womb. They hate us, they just want the babies. Do you know what? I wouldn’t be surprised at all. 

Which comes down to the same thing. We have been fed a pack of lies for 8000 years all for us to bear them their children and we are the ones they hate. If they could destroy us after having the children, they would and often do. How many men leave their wives, when the children grow up and leave home? Has that figure changed? I imagine not. 

Which means essentially that co-dependency is not real. Our belief that we need people, need this, need that, need everything is a lie. We don’t need anything that men do not need. We are actually the same and the rest is all propaganda sheit. Now, funnily enough, shock aside, betrayal aside and pain aside, that does actually make you feel better right? You are the person you were when you were a young and feisty girl all of a sudden? Exactly.

It’s all a lie. Every single bit of it. The men, the mothers, the sisters, the friends, the group hugs, the cake baking, the spending hour after hour with children, the caring for your mother, the caring for your father, the caring, caring, caring, nursing, nursing, nursing, supporting everyone else while they grow and go to work and go to school and talk and need you to care for them and listen to them and all the rest of the sheit that is womens lives. We are not naturally any of that. We are just like men. We like the things we like, we want to focus on our own vocational work and we want to grow and experience and explore and just be. We like power, we like leadership, we like attention and we like money and we like having our own money and we like doing it all. The only reason we think we don’t is because THEY told us so. We are not handmaidens and that is what men and the Toilet Tribe from Hell have told us we are. We are not handmaidens, we are human beings, we are not The Female Eunuch and the world, fifty years on from Germaine Greer and all the rest of the great feminists is not different at all. The ‘Donald Drapers’ exist as much today as they did then. Nothing has changed. 

Which means, we stop trying to change them and we change ourselves and we leave them. And we get to the promised land and then they will join us or not. And one day, like me, you will get over your broken heart and you will just not care anymore and you will be more than fine. You will know happiness for the first time in your life because you will no longer be a slave. 

Drew Barrymore 

I believed it all. I believed it from the bottom of my heart. The Lady of Shalott, Waterloo Bridge, Chastity. These were the stories that haunted me from a young age. Men who leave women for being this or that or just not enough and the years of trying to please them in every single part of my being began. I believed it. I believed that I needed them and that I needed people and that I needed. I believed it and it almost killed me. And I survived and so will you. The whole thing is a huge hype of sheit, from beginning to end. They damned us in the Garden of Eden, in their folktale religions from hell, religion being by men, of men and from men, they ignored us in their so called holy books and spoke only to men, they gave us turgid, sexless, slave rules for 8000 years and we believed them. And now it is over. The new world begins and it has begun. The year of ascension is here and it is for us and it is for you. Women. Not handmaidens. Women. You. 

At the same time, it is always vital to remember that this is not just about men. This is about all close relationship. Evolution of the species it seems is to move from dependency led relationship to separatism to inter – dependency. What do I mean by that? What does anyone mean by that? And why and how are we still so primitive a people, as to not even have a fucking clue what that means really? Exactly. We are that primitive and we are that needy and we are that sick. And it all comes down to dependency, ie, the need of the so called ego part of us. The ego part of us that is responsible as a people for religion in the first place, for these folk tale interpretations of Divinity and for always being selfish – well, to varying degrees, with men and the Patriarchal Matriarch at the top of the pile for sure – and always being self serving and always with the agenda of not being alone. 

And yet, we all know, and those of us who are the most blessed are the ones, who paradoxically, know this the most, that to be with people just for the sake of being with people is and can be and always most of the time, is lonely. There is nothing more lonely than sitting with someone who doesn’t see you and doesn’t accept you for who you are, just so you can be not alone. Just so you cannot be alone and because that is all we know. 

That is the key. The agenda that drives each and every one of us, whether we have the dependency of openly needing or closely pretending not to need. We all have the same agenda. To be loved, as the abandoned child and always hungrily chasing that love again and wanting to heal the past, while needing to stay in illusion about the past, so that we don’t have to face the awesome agony of pain that there was no love and that it was not actually personal because it was just human sickness because we are that primitive a people. And that we don’t know anything else. 

A lot has been said, in folk lore, present modern folklore about the so called ‘End of the World’. The Mayan Calendar prediction, Nostradamus and of course, the beloved, Jehovah’s Witnesses who come to your door and speak of gloom and the coming of the Apocalypse. Again, all folklore and a childish, stupid and lost knowledge manner of interpretation of the Universe and only 2000 – 6000 years old. We must always remember that. With the daily and hourly onslaught of a religion based or anti religion based society, to re-programme and learn something more about life, is to always remember that what is a given is only a part of history. There was a world before religion and a world before the religion based societies and certainly before Patriarchal Toilet Tribe Society. 

And we can therefore choose at any time to re-create society as we choose it, as we want it and as we perceive it. Nothing is written. Lawrence of Arabia said that line in the wonderful David Lean film and in this context, it is absolutely, utterly true. 

And yet, we have this agenda of need and greed that dominates everything and then on top of that, we choose to stay in this folklore based childish interpretation of the world. 

I was brought up in a country where philosophy is a dirty word. I was also brought up in a country, where class is a dirty word. Every country around the world has a reason not to think. And every country in the world, every society, every group of people, think that thinking is only on one level. The whole world thinks from the lower mind. There is a higher mind and that is called wisdom. Wisdom is not just some namby pamby elitist nebulous whatever. It is higher thought, intelligent thought and what I mean by intelligent is not what is called intelligent. I mean, wisdom. I mean thought + heart + intuition + emotion = wisdom. Wisdom is real thought and there is not a lot of that going on anywhere. That is why we are primitive and that is why we, as a people, will stay primitive for a long long time. Which is why my work is about self actualization. The way is there for anyone. Look after yourself, find that wisdom, think from that wisdom and Heaven on Earth will open up to you. And not the folklore kind. Real Heaven, Real Wisdom and Real Life. And that is not easy to experience or easy to reach. Which is why I now totally understand folklore and why it has turned the genuine esoteric journey to The Source, into religion and hocus pocus. The real thing is just too hard. And we do not like hard work. Oh, we like work. We like to break our backs and do meaningless tasks all day long. But we do not like work. Real, emotional, thought, higher thought, inner thought, inner feeling, facing emotions, entering the imagination, entering the darkness of one’s fears, and coming out the other side, WORK. Neither do we have the knowledge to build the necessary muscles. We are taught everything else, other than how to truly think. 

Hence, a society of projection. Projecting FROM emotion, rather than thinking, feeling and taking responsibility for who we are. We are a stupid people basically and the sooner any of us as individuals realise that, we are already winning. Nelson Mandela says “I thought a saint was just a sinner who keeps trying”. That is WORK. Anything else is mindless, cowardly slavery and believe me, I have done my fair share of that and have to monitor myself every day so I do not regress to that state. It is easy to exist. To live is another matter and by that what is meant, is it that it is another matter, to LOVE. Wisdom is above all, LOVE. Anything less is not love and it is the flotsam and jetsam of human existence and we are all in it and all born into it and we are all trying to find ways to cope with that and nothing else. Normal existence is turgid, idiotic, simple minded and ridiculous for a reason. We are primitive. Not primal. That is another matter entirely and I hardly see anything primal in any part of the world anywhere. Primal is an advanced state and we will cover that a great deal in sexuality, creativity, spirituality, The Lost Knowledge and so on. Primal is not primitive. Another lie, another stupidity of the simple minded society we all know and hate. 

In this simple minded society, we all blame the state or the culture or class or poverty or anything else and we look at it completely the wrong way round. We look at religion as gospel or we look at religion as the anti gospel and we look at wealth and we look at poverty and we look at all the things and methods of creation that are in existence and we either belligerently enter the fray with vengeful selfishness and rage or we bitch about it and try and hide from the whole thing, rather than partake in the general profanity of the thing we call life. Neither way satisfies us and it is always back to that same agenda. Need. 

Need, greed and gratification. We love it and the whole day is geared up to gaining some of that. We spin round in a rage of confusion, thinking there must be something more than this carnage we call the day and we go to sleep frustrated, empty and angry and try not to feel the truth. That we feel like slaves and most of all, to ourselves. 

What we do not know or we know but we don’t know why, is that we created that reality. Not this life, for sure. The whole thing was in firmly in place by the time any of us were born in this life. But in the view of reincarnation and that we are all peoples who have come here before since the beginning, well we are all part of that creation and we did all create this reality and therefore, instead of bemoaning our fate and genuinely feeling hopeless and lost and victims, as is the genuine and understandable state of ego and human, there is another way. Wisdom, self responsibility and self actualization. 

And that is not an attractive package. No one wants self responsibility, most of all, those who purport to have it. That has been the greatest teaching of my journey. My father once had a fit of rage at me, in the middle of one of his fights with my mother, when I told him, with misguided wisdom – that he would be at all interested in what I had to say – that he was feeling insecure and that there was no need for him to be. He fitted into an even greater rage and shouted at me for over half an hour, about how he earned the money and was totally and utterly secure. He has spent most of my life, telling me how responsible he is and how irresponsible both his brother, my uncle, who I was never allowed to meet, and my mother were totally irresponsible. Well, it is all in the perspective. She, in her attempted examination of the Patriarch Matriarch and her particular abuses of power that she has meted out over centuries of my life, is now looking within. 

He is still not. He has been asked by two wives now, to go for marriage counselling, but stealthily refuses to even discuss with either of them, let alone, formally look within. There is nothing more irresponsible in life, than not looking within. It doesn’t matter how much you earn, doesn’t matter how much you ‘provide’ – I don’t believe there are any providers in this world, only abusers of power and I no longer care that he paid for my schooling. Believe me, I earned every penny of it – if you don’t face the agonising pain – and it is pure utter agony – of looking within and taking responsibility for who you are and who you could be, you have achieved jack shit in life. 

Now, I have always noticed that, while I thank all the great spiritual masters and teachers that I have studied, how pissed off I get when someone says that to me. Sure. They don’t talk about the pain. I do. The pain is the other agenda we have in life. We have two. Need for people and need to avoid pain. Those are our two overriding agendas and there is nothing we will do to avoid facing pain. Until we build, finally, the muscles to be able to cope with it and start to have the stamina to enter the process of pain to heal. Because it is absolutely wonderfully true that once the pain is felt and faced and mourned, it goes. 

That is the wisdom teaching that we have lost and was taken from us and that only the artists community of this world now talk to us about. In a world where we are either simply stupid minded religious or pseudo intellectually anti religious, there is no room for anything else. Which means that the puritanical society of religion just tells you what to do and the equally spiritless and wisdom stripped pseudo intellectual society tells you what to do too. Nothing. There is no wisdom in nothing and no teaching and no life skills and no allowance, most of all, for vulnerability. 

I did it for years. I was known, renowned even, for being Miss Logic. Oh, yes, anything logical and I was your ‘man’. Cerebral, hard boiled, pseudo intellectual and vastly empty. Totally and utterly empty. Trying to ask the questions, trying to find the answers, but of course, like my father – even though his agenda is religion so incomparable – just went round and round and round with the same answers. God was evil and the world was a pile of shit and I didn’t want to go on living. My agenda, not his. I still don’t know what his is. His is that agenda, typical of so many people I have known. A firm believer in his own brilliant mind, because it’s logical, a pride in his pseudo intellectuality and a condemnation of all passion – in other words, anything that is female or of the Circus – and yet a rampant envy of intuition, a genuine exploration in his way of the meaning of life, and yet a childish and simple minded juxtaposition of sentimentality about life and religion and of course, FEAR of their ‘God’. The ‘God’ of men. The GODLESS God. The God of religion. Religion, being from men, by men and of men. Religion is all about fear. And he has it in buckets. He also, like most people, has no compassion for anything vulnerable whatsoever and thinks all peoples are greedy, selfish and out to get his money and should get off their backsides and do some work. No wisdom whatsoever. We are a stupid people. 

But my agenda was hardly better. God was evil and the world was a pile of shit and I didn’t want to go on living. That was, in a nutshell, my philosophy on life. And I was angry. Really really angry and really mean. Not mean, like most I have seen. But angry. Eugene O’Neill’s “The Iceman Cometh” sums it up brilliantly in the character of ---. I was him. Erudite, bitter and dark. Just refusing to partake in anything anymore, because it was all a pile of shit. And God hated me and God hated everyone and why should I believe anyway. What had God ever done for me and how could HE – the male God of course, was all that was in my vicinity then – let the world be in such carnage, blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard it all before and you can hear it now, probably in your mind. 

Then there is the other archetype. The one that has just stopped thinking at all, is keeping a tight grip on his or her anger and just raging round in vengeful selfish cocaine fuelled nastiness. They don’t believe in anything and again, live on a sentimental wishy washy blandness of being, where they follow the rules and pretend to be so nice and so calm and so shocked at anything that is passion and so afraid. They are so afraid, it is unbelievable and yet, no one would think so. They are not only afraid, they have killed all feeling. They have bought into the system, don’t understand anyone who thinks or questions anything and condemn everyone and everything that speaks anything other than Big Brother speak of George Orwell’s “1984” legend. They come across with so much confidence and no one – certainly not me – realises that they are actually dead inside. Impotent, cold, hard, vengeful, selfish beyond anything I could ever imagine and they most certainly do not believe in any god or God or GOD, The Mother, whatsoever. They have had to rely on themselves emotionally or physically their whole life and fuck anyone else and get out of the way, because I am going to just keep working hard to make something of myself and kill all of you in the process. And what is the point of thinking anyway, it just leads to pain. 

There. Pain once again. We are all, in our simplicity and immense stupidity of human nature, in our primitive states, avoiding pain and trying to get a fix and that fix is love. And we have now knowledge, past all the years of schooling and study and information overload, of the first thing to try and figure out what the fuck is going on. The world, basically is mad. 

And it is our job to find out what that madness is and to heal it in ourselves. That is the wisdom journey in a nutshell and it is laborious, agonising, long, so long and makes you feel like an invalid, an idiot and, worst of all, powerless beyond anything you could ever have ever believed as even possible. 

Power is our other agenda. We love power. Some clearly more than others, but we all love power. Power covers a whole range of things. From attention to money to material freedom to working for ourselves to power over other people to accolade, to accomplishment to commanding anything we want, from anywhere, to having the power to fight evil on Earth and that means in every single conversation and interaction and relationship we have during the day. Power is what we want . 

None of these things are idiocy. The truth is that power, need, greed, avoidance of pain are genuinely sane drives. Who the fuck wants to be in pain? Who wants to be needing all the time and not have anyone in their life at all? Who wants to be so vulnerable that we have no money, no place to sleep, no home, no shelter, no security, no grounding on this planet at all? Of course. These are genuine drives and why shouldn’t we have them? 

God, as you call him, is not saving us everyday, for sure. GOD, The Mother is. But certainly not in the way we think and certainly not in the way we have been taught and certainly not in any tangible way we can write a report on or hear a sermon on and understand immediately. Wisdom is obtuse. Wisdom is esoteric. And esoteric is subtle, confusing, complicated, led by signs and akin to how Sophia Stewart describes The Matrix in the great film. It’s code. Wisdom is reading code. And reading code is an art form and a skill set just like any other and we have been denied that knowledge for 8000 years. 

Self actualization therefore is also a detective hunt, a murder mystery with no end. Self actualization for the real thinker, the real wisdom carriers of this planet is not a process of going to a seminar and just hearing what is being said and then applying it. No spiritual master or teacher would even say so. And yet, part of our journey to become wisdom is to learn that ourselves. I am one of those who can tell you right from the beginning. 

And that means delaying gratification to agonising levels. And that again, is not an attractive package. We are most certainly at the roughest end of evolution, because we have to not only reclaim a whole way of living that has been lost to us, we have to open our mind to so many levels of existence and areas of exploration that we actually have no idea about and that takes us so incredibly far from the ‘real’ world. Do it. I did and it is worth it to levels, not even worth trying to describe. 

It is extraordinary. It is the journey of alchemy and wizardry and the true meaning of all that is magical, ‘witchy’, ‘monkish’, ‘superheroic’, and great. It is greatness. Self actualization is greatness. The act of doing it in itself is greatness, wherever you end up. And you know what, what I can tell you, is that despite the trauma and pain of it, it is absolutely, utterly, incomparably fascinating. Not just because of what it can give you, but because of the journey itself. 

But that means, first of all, giving up co-dependency. And if you are like me, you will end up giving that up last. Such is the way of the human heart. 

Co-dependency covers everything. When I began, I read Robin Norwood’s ‘Women who love too much’ and I read M Scott Peck’s ‘The Road Less Travelled’. Both, in their different ways, speak acutely of the dependency process of the so called ego. Said very simply, need is our sickness as human beings and enslavement by that need for others. Well, that, with the journey I have made, actually covers everything in all ways. Psychologically for sure, but also politically, sociologically, physically, spiritually, sexually and anthropologically. It is an extraordinary sickness and I can tell you right now, the most important thing. It is not your fault. None of this is your fault and none of it was my fault. 

At the same time, as a few great films and stories and indeed spiritual teachers (personal development) have directly articulated, it is however, your responsibility. Jean Paul Sartre said it to me first. I did literature at school, all the way through to my A levels. The best education anyone could have. Fuck the news, put writers on there, or actually, better, get people to read literature aloud on TV and be done with it. There is nothing else one needs in terms of entertainment, rather than literature. Jean Paul Sartre, in my 17 year old mind – still the best way for me to explain it to myself too – said that we are totally and utterly responsible for our own actions and that a chair is a chair and there is no other reason for it and it came from nowhere mysterious. It was just a chair. Well, to me that is not spiritual enough, but in terms of religion and the male, man made God, I think that will do. Personal Development is not a new industry and growing vastly every day, with very good reason. 

Personal Development and literature and modern story and philosophy, to a certain extent, seeing as it is all written by men, supposedly of the Greek ‘civilisation’ – I use that word loosely, seeing as it was also the beginning of the Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society and the enslavement of women forever. About as civilised as a pig’s brain, but there you go, it’s all about perspective and uncovering everything we are told is education – is actually spirituality. Spiritual teaching – not religious as there is nothing spiritual in religion – from the ancients, brought back to us in all these modern forms. Re-programming, the method of so called Neuro Linguistic Programming is as old as the ancients. The Pre ancient world ancients, I am talking about. The ones we have been taught, ran around with nothing on and were pagans and fucked their children and their sisters and brothers and all manner of non puritanical things. The ones who scare the shit out of us but we call them barbarian because of religion, which has no spirituality in it whatsoever. Because the world is mad. 

Basically, the whole point of existence is to forget who we are when we are born, so we can become who we are supposed to become and go through the process of becoming. But there is a madness that has gripped this world for 8000 years and they would have you believe that when you leave school at 16 or 18, you have all the education about life you could ever want and you go and do a job and you get married and you have kids and if you are a woman, you become a domestic slave and if you are a man, you become a king and can beat her up and rape her and do what you want to her and in heaven you will get everything you want, because you have been a good boy and done what God told you to do, as long as you give away a bit of your earnings to charity. That is the world they would have you believe is ours. Fuck that shit and live. 

And to live, means the wisdom journey. The re-programming journey. Personal development is not just about getting wealthy and confident. Absolutely. Bring it on. In buckets, it will come to you and it will be beautiful. Personal Development is about a lot more than that. It is pure alchemy and wizardry and becoming a magician. Truly. You will read code and you will read not only Earth but the Universe too. And you will KNOW GOD, The Mother and The Universe and you will know it exists because you will be able to FEEL it. 

That is intuition + heart + emotion + thought. That is wisdom. 

What stops us is our fear. Our fear of a hundred million things, but our fear of all that we have been taught and our fear that if we truly examine all that we have been taught, we will have to leave those we love. That is our greatest fear in life and that is our biggest problem and that is what is called the ego. 

Again, this is not our fault. Let’s say we came here to forget who we are in a pure world and find out who we are, through going through the process of wisdom and we all went to wisdom school and developed the stamina to be able to make this journey, well, we would still find it painful but we would not have this enraged ego of need and greed to such an extent that we have. We would be taught from an early age – when they are poisoning us with nativity sheit – that the purpose of life is actually to heal from our sickness that is human existence and to evolve. And we would be taught that the end of the world is the beginning of the world. And we would be filled, alongside our fear, with an awe and fascination of all that is the wisdom journey because we would know that to become magicians and alchemists is the aim of all and we would try our hardest to become those people. 

We would know that alchemy and wizardry are the magicians ways and that to become one of those would actually not to be healing from sickness but it would be to evolve from one existence to another. What I call First Existence, to Second Existence. We would learn, that there is such a thing as ego, the vehicle of existence on this planet and there is such a thing as Soul which is our nebulous eternal existence which HOLDS our ego, our physical self, our lower mind, our outer heart and that these two things are actually supposed to be the vehicles of existence, as a tool for our Soul to express through and talk to us so that we CONVERT from one existence to another. And that this is the point of life, the meaning of life and the journey to become a magician. And we would know then that we would want to be the best magician who had ever lived and we would work our hardest to convert from one existence to another, not in spite of society, but as a norm. 

Imagine that. 

But they threw us out of the temples. The High Priestesses and Priests. We had the knowledge and that was our job. To interpret the Universe, to interpret the way, to show the meaning of life and to teach these essential life skills that personal development is now doing, after the greatness of literature and all that is art. We are not in those wizard schools as teachers and you are not in those wizard schools as pupils. And we are not at higher Wizard schools to carry on our learning as we teach and so on. Which is why the ego is so rampant and so all consuming and so fucking stupid in this life and that is fine. As long as we know what it is and why it is what it is, we are fine and we have the key to freedom. 

Erica Jong 

Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art

Thank you to outside source for original

What we also have though is sickness. The sickness is the ego of the normal world. And this is the ego that collectively, has created the madness that is religion, greed, corruption, fascism, need, dependency, shallow living, addiction, avoidance of pain and above all, projection. 

Projection. One of the first things that I had to learn, and it took me most of the past 15 years, was that my emotions are different from my feelings. And my feelings are different from my intuition. What? Exactly. Think about this. You go through the day, you shout at a few people, you scoff at a few other people, you are mean to a few other people, you make judgments about a hundred people and you feel like shit at the end of the day, even if you have managed not to lose your temper today as much as you did yesterday. You have spent all your energy trying to control your temper and are exhausted through that and you feel nothing but flue like symptoms and all you want to do is to have meaningless sex, drugs, drink, sweet food or sleep. Anything to stop the overwhelming despair and hopelessness you feel at your life. 

That is projection. 

Fear, anger, judgment, cruelty, dominance, terror, addiction, escapism, hard heartedness and rage are projection. They are not real feelings and they are not suitable for Second Existence and they are the emotions of sickness we came here to master. Or not. They shield humanity from ourselves. Our humanity. If we do not have humanity, if we are ‘kind’ in a good moment when we are not afraid, or when we are not intrinsically prejudiced, ie misogynistic, or racist or homophobic or anti semitic or fascistic, or un compassionate in all the hundred ways we can be, if we are ‘kind’ for one moment and mean and sulky or bland and impotent and unfeeling and actually depressed most of the time, we are in long term projection. We are in the ego, so deep down, that we are at the bottom of First Existence. 

If we walk past a beggar and judge, if we look someone in the eye who is all vulnerability and we couldn’t care less, if we don’t trust that someone really needs something when they do and we can’t tell the difference, we are in long term projection. And if we are cruel, heartless, make personal remarks, want to feel superior, are full of the need for self importance and are defensive in the true sense of the word and not in the sense of the world, we are in projection. 

Long term projection is the most base of existences and is the sickest we will ever be as human beings. Sickness being the different gradients of evolution in a sick world, ie a world without wizard school. Projection is the ego’s method of shielding us, not just from our humanity, but from ourselves. Ego is the self medication that is created in response to life’s first trauma. Everyone has one. The more trauma you receive or witness or experience, the harder the ego will create itself as a barrier to pain and to the outside world. You will have an inner self, your true self and your outer self, your ego. 

Ego cannot be removed from your existence. Ego can only be converted from First Existence to Second Existence and in wizard school, we would learn that this is the point of life and the point of evolution and the whole reason we are specifically on Earth. There are many other realms and many other galaxies and many other dimensions to the Universe. Earth is a unique experience. Because we have the ego. Earth, we would learn in wizard school is the place, specifically for CREATORS. We come here, to separate Soul from ego from Soul, to become CREATORS. An alchemist is a creator. To master one’s destiny? You’ve heard that phrase? It means, to become a creator. That is the point of personal development, the eternal truth talked of in literature and the arts and the only interesting reason for being here. 

And anything else, the reasons we avoid it, the reasons we scoff at it, the reasons we condemn it are about laziness. Laziness and ignorance. We do not go to wizard school and to get a new education as an adult is still a relatively unusual thing. It is changing but until society decides that therapy is not for other people, we will remain sick as a people. You, as someone searching out personal development, for liberation, self actualization, sexualisation and human rights, have already decided or are thinking about it differently. Because you are searching for something and something is searching for you. 

In wizard school, you would be taught that this is your Soul and you would know straight away what Soul is. This is the ancient knowledge that the High Priestesses in particular communed with the Universe for, to let us all know. It’s what religion turned into Eve’s encounter with the serpent. We believe in a teaching that says ‘don’t ask questions’ and you will be okay. That is what male religion has taught us. The Female Wisdom Society, the society of the High Priestess was banished, condemned and wiped out and that is the single reason you and me as I was, are so sick. And that is the single reason you are stuck in projection and why I was too. 

Until I got the call. And you will too, if you have not already got it. Soul speaks to us and we listen. We listen and we know we are listening, when we are miserable. There is another part of us calling to get through and our years and years of projection are finally numbered. We are stuck in resignation, lack of confidence, inhibition, inner rage, a desperate need for illusion, desperately trying to find love among the people we are surrounded by, only to be the recipient of personal remarks, sarcasm, meanness, bitterness and a thousand and one attempts to control and we are either in pure rage or really depressed. 

And we just go round and round and round, hoping for a different answer and looking at all the other people who seem to be laughing or at least holding hands or going to the supermarket as a family or as a couple or sitting in a restaurant and we wonder, why can’t we be doing that too and why aren’t we doing that and what is wrong with us, if we are not doing that and why do we feel so much pain and why can’t we tell anyone and how are we going to survive if we take time out and what is it that everyone else that we don’t have that makes them look so successful. 

Sounds familiar? Exactly. No one is happy. Very few people on this Earth have mastered their destiny and that is the only way to happiness. That is about 1 percent of 6 billion people. And the very fact that you are pursuing Personal Development means you might actually join the 1 percent and even if you don’t make it entirely in this lifetime, you will have a fuck of a good time trying for it, because you will finally have found the meaning of life. 

And you will have found the lie. Religion and anti religion society is a lie. It’s all a lie. Family is a lie. Relationship is a lie. Friendship is a lie. No one is having a good time in any of those things, whatever they say and however much they are holding hands and no one is getting anywhere with it and no one is happy. It is all a lie. 

A big, co – dependency lie. And the most stunning truth of all, which to me was finally my greatest motivation, is that NO ONE is having sex. No one. 

And all that I say is quadrupled and ten times over when I talk about women. If no man is happy, no woman is happy, to a hundred thousand times the level of men. Because women are slaves. When Eve was vilified and condemned and blamed for The Fall of Man – the greatest lie of all. Not, The Fall of Man, that is the only truth, but that woman was to blame – it began the 8000 years of female bonded labour that we know today. We are a primitive and stupid people and half of us are slaves. The other half are fascists. By the very nature of slavery. What I find so stunning about the human existence is that despite the fact that I knew that religion had nothing to tell me from the age of 8, because it was only speaking to men and I wasn’t male, it still took me almost 40 years to clear that EMOTIONALLY. 

And despite the fact that, also at the age of 8, (ego is born about the age of 7, 8 or 9) I knew I had outgrown my family and that I knew there was no love in any part of the family – clearly, I knew I was not loved for who I am - and I wanted to leave them, it still took me almost 40 years to do that EMOTIONALLY too. 

What is emotion? Emotion is the First Existence to Second Existence conversion of ego. Emotion is lower thought and the outer heart. Emotion is also our excitement on this planet. The emotion of feeling. The emotion of existence and the emotion of experience. Emotion is our sexuality, our mirth, our rage, our passion, our logic, our speed of thought or speech, our tears, our sentimentality, our outer feelings of existence. When they are good, they make life worth living to the utmost, because we get to ‘feel’ everything so intensely and viscerally and when they are bad, want to die. 

That is emotion. Emotions are good. There is a type of person who calls themselves very emotional through the words of primal or human. Emotions are primal but not the primal of truth. There is another type of person who tries to stop emotion completely because she, most of the time, has been TOLD and influenced and programmed to BELIEVE that primal or so called primal is not ladylike or sensible or acceptable. We are all told that in so many ways and again, we go from wizard school to normal society. Normal society will tell you that emotion is bad. That thought is the only way to be and that facts and logic rule. Crap. First of all, as a very logical human being, that is not thought and that is not logic. Cold reason is powerful, I love it. But it is not thought and it is not logic. It is cold machine like process of the mind. The LOWER mind. That is the lower mind as much as raw out of control emotion. But society has hijacked ‘thought’ and decided that this is what it is. So the rest of us, in non wizard school, in normal society, think we are either stupid or are seduced by that kind of thought and do not understand why we cannot ‘feel’ and why other people can be so emotional and why we cannot be. Other people, namely men, most of the time, seem to have the ability to express emotion and not a lot of thought. This is very complex. And just in this discussion is all the flavours of sociology, physiology, psychology, anthropology, history, genderology, spirituality and sexuality. 

I found out for instance after many years of the 15 year journey that I had not been expressing emotion and had been projecting from the cold reason of the mind – if that is accurate – because I was brought up to believe that a girl should not be emotionally EXPRESSIVE. And that is the key. Expression. Ego halts our expressiveness because we are taught to express in one way or the other. And ego is primarily about BELIEF. 

All Personal Development teaches this. Wizard school incarnate. 

It turns out that the reason I was so logically overbalanced, was not just for the inner reasons to do that, in other words, my particular method to avoid pain and the trauma of what happened to me, it was because I was taught that expression of emotion was not appropriate. Fascism does that. Fascism – the Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe Society of male supremacy and family supremacy from hell – womb stealing and High Priestess killing tribe that it is – wanted me to be a slave. A Cinderella, silent, obedient slave. That is traditional society for a girl and traditional family and I was taught it from the moment I was born, to the moment I shed the last layer and the last layers I continue to shed and will probably continue to shed my whole life. 

When I look at successful women in the male world, I see logic. I see a cerebral ability of accomplishment, without sexuality, without sensuality and without compassion. I also see women who have embraced many things that appear female, the mother role, a feminine way of dress even and a propensity to stay in female type jobs, from nursery teachers to nurses to foster parents, but there I see no ambition and I see no sex. In fact, frankly, I see sex nowhere and that is the point. For sincere reasons of survival, women adopt these strange ego led roles, based on the way they have been brought up. I also see – mostly in this latter group – a wild expression of passion that is overbearing, offensive, highly dictatorial and interminably boring. Because it has no thought whatsoever, when it is high in anxiety. My mother is just one person. And most of her sisters and most of my cousins and most of the women I have had the misfortune to befriend for years and years and years. Loud women. Women who come over as very confident indeed, but who actually are Patriarchal Matriarchs and want to control you with the same zeal as the men. They seem to have been brought up with maybe the same belief as me. But for whatever reasons, they have been able to or chosen to, choice being the inner self of choice of the ego, because the ego makes its own rules and mastering one’s destiny is to find out how to take that hijacking back from the ego and put the reins into your own hands again at last, turn that demand for lack of expression into an overbearing version of expression instead. 

One of the jobs that I did as a journalist was at the BBC. BBC TV, a scary place indeed for a timid Cinderella would be warrior like me, but I went and I actually went – it was in another city from London – to get away from two women. My mother and my at the time, so called best friend. I have never had a best friend and do not need or want one anymore. The success of healing before inter-dependency. I was at that place in my life, as so many of us are, again, because we are all in our different ways – male or female – brought up in fascism, but obviously the fascism meted out to females is a hundred thousand times more than what is meted out to males and should never ever be forgotten – I was at that place in my life when I couldn’t tell someone directly that they were pissing me off so I actually removed myself from them instead. I felt like Tess in Thomas Hardy’s “Tess of the D’Urbervilles”. “Out of the frying pain into the fire” would be an understatement. 

For two years, I was subjected to the worst examples of my mother I could ever have imagined. Vicious, nasty, loud, bitchy, bullying women. About ten of them in all. Utterly amazing what life does to you and how you begin the journey and that is where my journey most certainly began and that was not 15 years ago, but 21. Extraordinarily ugly women. They hated me from the moment I ‘stepped off the boat’ as it were and by the time I left, I had killed each one of them dead. That was when my journey began. When I went to war. 

They are fascists. The female fascists of this male fascist world. The ugly stepmother and ugly stepsisters to Cinderella. Every Cinderella Warrior out there knows what I am talking about and I am primarily talking to you and to male versions of you. I am also talking to everyone, but specifically, in relation to this, to you. They are the bullies. The executioner archetype and I can see now, that the reaction of their ego – because ego is a self medicating, self made machine inside us – clearly makes the choice to shout and talk and bully as loud as possible, before they get bullied themselves. 

I can remember like it was yesterday, other than most conversations I have had with my mother and most of the other women in my family, a whole group of these ugly stepsisters, sitting in the canteen one lunchtime and all just shouting at the top of their voices, across each other. It was ugly. Ugly is the word. I can see now what they do and why they do it and if that was me now, I would have just walked away. Because that it is the key. That key however seems to take the monstrous wisdom journey, because it is as monstrous as it is fascinating, to do so. To either stand up for oneself and say, fuck off, you bore me rigid, or to say, I am out of here, because the whole bunch of you disgust and bore me rigid. 

Ego needs to be loved. Ego is the abandoned child and ego is the part of us that dominates our every move, until we make the wisdom journey and liberate ourselves. 

There is a saying that says, something like, I wouldn’t change anything I did, I would only change how I feel about what I did. And I think that sums up the conversion from ego to Soul most accurately. I had my expression written all over my face. Those ugly stepsisters knew exactly what I thought of them and that made them even uglier and even angrier. I was always able to express myself. I didn’t have to say anything and I most certainly found my own friends there and avoided any direct contact with any of them, other than of course, when I had to work with them and that I would most certainly have done differently if it was now. If I hadn’t stabbed them in the face now, they would be lucky. 

And anyone who knows me will tell you that metaphorically I am not bluffing. What the wisdom journey gives you is – to use a man’s term in a man’s world – balls. The wisdom journey gives you balls of steel and that is what it is all about. Ego can be bravado, cold logic, whatever you want it to be, in terms of being your defender or coper in life. What it cannot give you is courage. 

Which takes us back to projection. Projection is the ego in control. The ego, an external part of you, is in control of your real self. Emotion is the belief system we are taught in whatever life experience we come into, of how to cope with feeling. That is emotion. So these ugly stepsisters for interest, including my mother and her female relatives, in particular, have decided in the innermost core of their being, to compete for male rule. In the male way. They are the executioners to match the male ones. Even though the male ones come in all shapes and sizes and certainly in the two archetypes. My father and many of the man I have known and thought were my friends, were his archetype. Softly spoken killers. We are all killers in ego. That is the first thing to say and the last thing to say. Ego is a killer. It kills you and it kills me. Ego is death and ego is our sickness and in wizard school, we would be taught from the time we are born to treat it as such. As it happens, this is an ego world. This world is First Existence. That puts it into perspective. Soul is Second Existence. Becoming a wizard and an alchemist is to ASCEND into Second Existence. To do that, the ego has to be healed and that is the process of alchemy and creation. 

Male values, the ones that these women have taken on are particular ones. I as my archetype took on other male values. None of us are exempt from male rule or male values or male society. The whole fucking world is run on it and male is First Existence, by its very nature. Actually, no. Second Existence is generic. Male is female and female is male. In Second Existence, I love my male side now. But the 15 year journey was to clear my male side of wounding to be able to access my female side of wounding to be able to reclaim my female side in order finally to reclaim a healthy male side and a female side, side by side! 

My brother and all the men I have been emotionally involved with romantically, other than two, are the other male archetype to my father. They are my mother and these ugly stepsisters archetype, just to put it all in perspective. Their method of ego is different again. So let’s say there are four archetypes, archetypes being a metaphorical description of a certain kind of characteristic base, as opposed to a stereotype which is just stupid. 

And always bearing in mind that ego is ego and that Soul is the Universe. Soul is the part of us that is connected to the Divine, the Divine part of us, that we have to reach to become Second Existence. Ego is not Divine, even though of course, in strict esoteric terms, in strict spiritual terms, we are all of the all GOD, The Mother but that part of us is the lower and ignorant part of us. The hate part that we have come here to convert to love. Even though hate is also a part of the Divine as there is nothing outside GOD. 

God is another matter. We are not dealing with the man made God. We are dealing with something Divine. GOD. The Universe. The All Mother, the whatever you want to call it for yourself, but it is not a male God and it is not a God of religion that I speak of and to make the best of my work, always remember that. 

I speak of spirituality and personal development and existentialism all at the same time. Religion has nothing to do with any of those things. Religion is the profanity of this world, of men, by men and FROM men. 

The same men who threw women like me out of the temples and vilified us for communing with GOD. 

The Serpent is the representative of SPIRIT in that folk tale stupidity. The serpent is not evil. Religion and the whole fascistic method of Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe, Womb Stealing, Female Genocide Tribe Society and all that it has produced is. The Fall of Man indeed. 

So there are four archetypes and in ascension, in Second Existence, these archetypes maintain the positive characteristics of their archetype and at the same time merge others too. We become whole. The path to wholeness is lifelong and no master or spiritual teacher would ever assume to say that the work is done. The difference though and the fundamental difference is that we have graduated from Wizard School. We are now Wizards and are on the path like anything else, to become better and better at it. To even enter Wizard School is a process of culling the ego. And this is the true path of Earth. 

And you know the difference, one knows the difference by how one FEELS. Feeling being separate from emotion and at the same time, also emotion. Emotions are the belief system we inherit. The healed emotions, not the ridding ourselves of them, as the pseudo scientific community of so called reason would advocate, are emotions of a new belief system. Ours. Mine, yours, and debatably, eternal. THE Belief System of the Universe. Each person is an individual and very important as that individual to The Creator, GOD, The Mother. The Creation, The Universe. But we are tapping into and pouring out from the same Source. The same Eternal Truths. The place of LOVE. 

For instance, parenting. To varying degrees, the system of the world is such that I doubt many people at all, have good parents. Parents who did their job even half way well. The ego is driven by need and greed. Nothing shows that more than parents and children. The amount of people I hear who have children so they can be looked after in their old age. So they don’t have to be lonely, so they can please their own parents and so on. How many people actually have children because they truly want them and look at the number of people who have to struggle for years or perhaps lifetimes because they actually cannot have them and desperately want them? 

Children are a complex issue. And again, all part of the system of the Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe Society. What the truth is within that is anybody’s guess. Well, it is yours actually. When you enter Wizard School, you will be entering it because you have already surrendered to the fact that you are not happy living in an ego world and because you are miserable as fuck from all those values and because you want something else to live by and believe in. And that is when you are ready to enter Wizard School and begin the journey to wisdom. 

So, metaphorically speaking, when you have finally understood that your parents or parent parented you like shit, you have to examine your own method of self parenting. This is the process of growing up. At any age, when we leave home to go to school or go to college or leave home physically or get married or whatever else we do in the Toilet Tribe society, we are our own parents. We have to be. Good or bad, they cannot be with us all day and this is the fundamental basis of co-dependency and the cause of all our pain. 

The ugly stepsisters included. The executioner class has confounded me for almost 40 years, because of their apparent confidence. It’s all a lie. Their need and greed is as huge as a Cinderella archetype and their methods of dealing with that sinister, evil and fascistic. That is the difference and I have learnt first hand, across the board, the truth of that and it is dangerous, highly sophisticated and blind. And as the executioner class, no one is more blind to it than them. 

They spend their whole lives in criticism of the Cinderella archetype and the Cinderella archetype spends their whole life self blaming for need. Because we seem to do it honestly, even though that is a subjective word. We do it openly let’s say. We do not do it through manipulation, coercion, financial whoremongering, personal remarks, deliberately disempowering and being blind to that process at the same time and through walking away from the person we want to be with. Highly sophisticated or mad. That is the other archetype and the most dangerous kind of human being on the planet. Because their greatest method and agenda is to bully. 

They have effectively, male or female, taken on the executioner role in their parents and they apply the same methods to themselves. They parent themselves with manipulation, blindness, bullying, coercion and all the other methods. We parent ourselves with lack of self esteem, timidity, confusion, rage and hiding. These, you could say are the different methods, to put it crudely and simply. 

The executioners and the victims. The dynamic between the two kinds of people. And the basis of co-dependency across the world, in First Existence, in ego. 

Tina ll 

Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art

Thank you to outside source for original

Co-dependency is the basis of need for love. When what is required and is absolutely possible in Second Existence is the self parenting to be able to re-programme out of victimness and then, after all of that, to graduate out of Warrior School too. Because executioners are blind. Anyone who is shitting on anyone else in life is going to be blind to it, to save their conscience. So the Cinderella Warriors have to go up against them, through the methods of their own co-dependency and clear the whole thing dead. And through that, teach the executioner archetype to parent themselves differently so they can stop bullying and coercing and manipulating people out of their own need. And the problem with all of that – there are many – is that people of the executioner class are almost always in positions of power and authority. And they will hold onto that until the last second. And that is where co-dependency can finally turn into Exodus and reaching the promised land first and alone and as a victim no more. The meek shall inherit the Earth is written in the Bible. Religion is philosophy like any other and there is wisdom in those books. But that is all they are. Books. But the meek shall inherit the Earth means, that the victim class will heal first and lead the Exodus and the executioner class will have to follow, or not. Apartheid ended. ‘Nuff said. 

Female Ambition

The question of tyranny. First, can tyranny ever be overcome in a human being? Second, male tyranny, the way of the Toilet Tribe and Female Ambition. 

For all that women do, for all that they do it well, for all that they keep together, for all that they are renowned for multi tasking, for all that they are the all mother who weighs up the rearing of children, or looking after the mothers and parents, for all that they are very good at what they do, even if it is running a huge household with loads of children and domestic staff and running the country behind a man even, they are banned from having ambition. We as women are banned from ambition. 

The adage, boys don’t go for girls who use their minds, is the same thing as men do not like ambitious women. It’s the same thing. Nothing has changed and we suffer the same discrimination and banishment as adults that we do as young girls, trying to be heard and seen, outside our strict remit of looking pretty. 

Female ambition. The slow and steady ascent to true ambition is now mine, after so many years of self doubt and above all, guilt that I was and as ambitious as my male counterparts. And we all know how society vilifies ambitious women. It’s disgusting and I, for one, am finally getting over the relentless psychological warfare of slavery. This is not about misogyny anymore. This is about slavery. Men enslaved women, when they found out we were not Divine – they thought babies were our unique and asexual process – kind of turns the Virgin Birth into something fascinating again – and when they found out, about 8000 years ago, that they contributed to babies and that women were not Divine, but simply human like them, they enslaved us, just as they enslaved animals and other peoples. They call it war. It is pure tribalism and power seeking empty pseudo hunter glory and is specifically, it seems, male. 

I don’t know why and I no longer care. What I know now is that woman is human and therefore entitled to a life and a life of human rights. And that means no slavery anymore and that means, therefore, for now and the long term future, no relationships of any kind with any other human beings, other than freeing slaves. We all want to be with our kind. And a woman cannot be with a man or male friends or females who believe either, subconsciously in the perpetuation of their own slavery, or who have taken on the tribe male mentality of executioner, to enslave other women and indeed men too. Women of my kind cannot be near anyone anymore, in other words, who are not of the Circus community of Spirit. The true Circus people on Earth, the true gypsies, nomads and outsiders. The slaves in revolt in other words. This is not about misogyny. This is about slavery.

And that puts a different light on feminism, noble and brilliant and essential as it was and is. Feminism talks about negotiation in the domestic environment or in a society where the role of woman should be equal to a man, but it doesn’t go far enough for me, or indeed, my limited understanding of a vast and incredible school of political action and thought on this planet. Simone de Beauvoir for instance – and I am only just beginning to study the greats – talks of the seduction process of women, because we no longer live in a time where brutality of bullying can get us into the roles they, the men and the tribes of men, have dictated we should live by. So the sophisticated method of seducing us into their beds and homes and lives is in operation instead. 

And it works. Oh, it works. The mythology, the modern mythology of romance is it. And I loved it. I was so in love with love. And I am no longer interested and believe me, if I can do it, anyone can. I loved love. I loved men and I believed with all my heart, in a blatant lie. 

That men care about anyone. Men do not care about anyone or anything. They are a warring and selfish people and all those women who buy into their way of doing things, either through being fellow perpetrators or like me, who bought into the system of pseudo care, if I was loveable enough, are either as warring a people, or brainwashed into slavery like I was. 

Women care. Women have something that men do not have and I am talking generics here. I know caring men and I know women who most certainly do not care. I am talking institutionally because that is the way the world is run. The micro always reflects the macro and the other way around. Stereotypes do have their uses and the term, archetype if preferable and more accurate in these circumstances. The circumstances of war. 

You see, a warring people are not necessarily warriors whatsoever. To be a warrior is to care. Which means that women are the warriors on Earth, by their very nature of archetype. And we are the ones who have been enslaved and we are the ones who can free ourselves and we are the ones with the gifts to do so. 

Paradoxically and this is the beauty of experience and Earth life and the justice of the whole journey, we learn war, the brutality of it, from men. War through the psychological methods, the physical methods, the independent methods, the money making methods, the methods across the board. Learn from them. I have been watching and learning from men my whole life and everything I am doing now is a result of that. 

Carl Jung calls my archetype, the – in my words – the man woman man woman. I am the Eros daughter. The daughter who has rejected the mother’s way of doing things and built a friendship of sorts – within the confines of slavery – with her father and is attracted to male fatherly men (and all the sexual and friendship dynamics of that relationship) and she has the unusual mix of male and female within her to very equal levels.

Reading that was a revelation. The years of confusion and guilt and not understanding why I was so able in a man’s world and so able, then, on my new journey in a woman’s world was very difficult for me to understand, when most women fall into one category or another. I don’t know what Carl Jung says, but I would say this is the aim for all women. Because the aim of women is to end their slavery. And to end slavery is not just about pushing forward with love as a woman. It is about integrating and learning and amassing years of experience in warfare. And warfare is – in modern times – male. Women are the warriors and all those men who do exist who access their female psyche too – such as the archetypes of Batman, Superman, Spiderman, David Carradine’s Kung Fu character in the Seventies TV series and so on. Women are natural superheroes. Female superheroes. I am not even going to use the term superheroine. Heroine, goddess, woman, these words have such stupid meanings attached to them. So let’s just call ourselves female heroes. Female wizards, female warriors. We need to take their terms and we need to take their world and we need to make it ours and we need not be afraid for one second, that we will become them. 

Because we will not. The love energy in us is the most powerful weapon in the world and before men enslaved us 8000 years ago, like the wonderful character of Neytiri in James Cameron’s Avatar, we were both Shaman and Hunter at the same time. We knew how to be both and we will know again. 

And it is called, in modern times, business. Business is modern warfare and an extension of the warring nations and warring people called men and women are showing all over the world now, how good they can be at it too. That is just one area. Academics, discovering new miracles of cure, anything, women are doing now. This is war. This is modern warfare and women can approach it with something else and any man worth his weight in gold will know what that is and that is the female psyche. The psyche of imagination, intuition, self responsibility for one’s emotions and all other things that are love, ie wisdom. 

Wisdom + warfare = the whole. 

And this leads us to the other crucial factor, which women in particular have to learn, after 8000 years of languishing in non action and slavery. Life is war. Life is war from the moment we are born to the moment we die. And this is not just because women are slaves. This is because the world is essentially evil. We are all superheroes and are all destined in one lifetime or the other to become one and to become one is to become a warrior forever. 

This is a shock. For years and years, even on the journey, I have been waiting, as I am sure many of you are, whether you are on the journey yet or not. The journey to self discovery and the journey to self actualization is what I mean. 

Waiting for happiness and waiting for Elysium, as Maximus in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator finally reaches. For years, since I watched that epic, I have been able to relate that story to my life and the killing of Commodus in all forms and especially the ego of my man and I took the entrance into death and Elysium as symbolic as well as literal. I thought happiness would be a time of final peace and rest. 

I know now that this will only happen in literal death and I am stunned and elated by my reaction to that. I like it. It is just and it is how it should be and it is the norm. When spiritual teachers talk of ‘living in the moment’ and ‘being happy instead of searching for it’ this is what they mean, but like all things, I am the one who can break it down and analyse it to make it relevant to our emotional hearts. Living in the moment is the Holy Grail of understanding and so is BEING happy instead of searching for it. These are not things we can become overnight. They are the zenith of the heroic journey. Because The Hero’s Journey – as defined by mythologist Joseph Campbell – is not The Hero’s Journey at all. It is The SUPERHEROIC journey. It is the journey to become a pure superhero – male and female. It is to become a warrior. 

The journey and aim for everyone on this Earth therefore is to become a warrior. A superheroic warrior and to fight against evil for the rest of our lives. This is Earth and the ‘abode of miseries’ as spiritual teaching would tell us. Well, I can finally tell you that it doesn’t have to be miserable. It just has to be realistic and realism is that we will never rest and we will never find Elysium until we die and that is okay. What depresses and kills us if we don’t master it is that we don’t know how to stand up for ourselves, in the face of evil, the everyday evil that one can meet anywhere, from one’s mother, father, brother, sister, partner to the person standing next to us on the tube, and what kills us is that awful word which I used to hate so much but finally accept as the most accurate word. Idealism. 

Our idealism is that happiness is restful and without evil on Earth. That is our idealism and it is idealism. 

Watching Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight for a third showing recently, I understood on a new level all over again, what this means. Rachel tells ‘Batman’, Bruce Wayne, that this time, she doesn’t think he can let go of Batman. I find that fascinating. The whole film is such a complex study of corruptibility and one’s purpose to me and this time – and I shall watch it many more times, despite the horrendous level of darkness of the brilliantly played Joker character by Heath Ledger, RIP – I saw the necessity and acceptance that one will never stop fighting evil while one is alive. That is the purpose of our people, on the present Earth, which is still mostly, evil. 

And as I begin to accept this concept more and more, I can see the necessity of it and not just that. I can see the beauty of it. When I began writing for instance, I hated not being able to be out there and doing my thing and essentially, getting attention and having sensual fun and all the rest of it. Now, after being broken out of it through the necessary warrior tests, I can say, well, what the fuck am I actually missing? What is actually out there? Inane conversation, feeling alone with people and empty living. This is the heart of a warrior. This is my Batman. This is the person in me who will not let go now of my Batman, who needs my Batman in me, more than it needs me and it does need me. 

Because that is the point. The integration of our ego into superego into Soul and superego is the compatible peace we are looking for on this planet and that is actually all we are going to get. Alignment with our Soul purpose and alignment with our Soul. Which is why spiritual teachers talk of peace in our hearts and everything within ourselves. Absolutely.

At the same time, talking of idealism, it is the NATURE of that peace that I am relaying, is specific and not what we think it is. What we think something is, is – it is always important to remember – our ego belief. The way we have been taught and indeed, the belief we come into this world with, based on our previous lives or the specific experiences we have come here to have, which we have already chosen in Soul, before we are born. 

And the nature of that peace, as George Bernard Shaw says, is to stop whining about what we don’t have and to give our life over so we can be utilised until the day we drop. 

And I can finally, in joy and beauty and grace, that elusive concept to me for years, not only accept, but EMBRACE. 

Why the fuck would I not want to be a warrior? Why the fuck would I not want to battle evil every day that I live? We are not just drawn to superheroic films and films of greatness and films of epic journeys for a saviour to come and rescue us. We are drawn to such stories because we must know, deep within ourselves – and this is consciousness, to find that out – that WE can be those superheroic human beings. And therefore, the truth is glorious. We can. Each and every one of us is therefore only unhappy because we are not releasing the superheroic person in ourselves and dedicating ourselves to our purpose and therefore the purpose of everyone, EVERYONE, is to SAVE THE WORLD. 

What does Bruce Wayne say in ‘Batman Begins’ that is relevant to every single one of us, in our own individual and unique way, ie the individuality of our purpose? He says, “I seek the means to fight injustice, to turn fear against those who prey on the fearful.” 

What does that mean? It means that the warrior way, the ultimate path of existence is to take hatred from people, convert it and send it back to them. This is martial arts in operation. Women in particular have the greatest mind weapon on Earth. Intelligence and wisdom and intuition. This is our arena. Men, the great men of history, from Harold Pinter to George Orwell, to Samuel Beckett, to Arthur Miller to all great writers, other than the Greeks. I have no time for philosophers who back up the system of so called civilisation, where the Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell began and the High Priestesses were thrown out of the temples to be replaced by turgid, soulless men who then took over the skies to create the beginnings of what we now know is religion and the male God. 

But if we look at the true greats, these are all people fighting for one thing. Justice. And they are all doing that with compassion, wisdom, intelligence and erudite perception. These are female traits. Male traits are aggression and war and competition. They have those too and that is called ambition. To become a woman of that kind, which is what I have always related to and thought of myself at the same time as weird and have been dismissed by so many men and women alike as being unrealistic, is to cognitively profile all those who you are not supposed to. 

Not just going for a certain kind of woman if you are a woman and not only looking at heroes in story as if they are the men. I did both. That was my splinter but at least I did both. I always related to the cowboy through to the superhero as me. But I also always related to the girl being rescued, despite myself. I remember for instance, as things have moved along somewhat in our times, watching ‘Silence of the Lambs’ when it first came out. I was stunned that Jodie Foster’s character saved herself. I was floored by the fact that I was stunned. Emotionally, I had been seduced by this idea that had been prevalent in 99 percent of film and story by that time, that actually a man always came along and rescued the woman, even if she was the hero of the story. 

That is how deep psychological warfare on our minds and hearts is and how deeply we become entrenched in ideas that ARE NOT OUR OWN. Ego is of ideas that are actually not ours. They are the ideas of the Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell. 

The truth is that she did save herself and the truth is that I have also saved myself. And for an ex chattel, who was disempowered and told that I was capable of nothing, other than looking pretty and helping other people, that is fucking stunning. 

The truth is also, that I did it differently from how a man does it and I did it different from how Jodie Foster’s character does in Silence of the Lambs. And the truth is that not only does every person on Earth do it differently, we are also of different archetypal persons and we are also of two. Men and women. While a man relates completely to a heroic journey about physical warfare, physical overcoming, physical evolution, physical overcoming, women, other than the women who relate to men and the male psyche completely and good luck to them, executioners and fascists that they are too, in ego, relate to an inner journey. The inner journey is not light or less by any means and my man will tell you for sure, that is actually MORE. 

The inner journey is vast. And all my work is about it and all your work will be about it too forever. This is the pure warrior’s way. The true warrior and any warrior that you look at in all cultures is as able on the inner self as the outer self, to be a warrior and to mete out warfare and to kill the enemy dead. And that is about intuition and intelligence. And women are it. 

Women are also slaves. We have a 8000 year legacy to turn around. And now, as I look at the warrior method of integration of other peoples darkness, to convert it and send it back to them – the archetypal way of warrior  on psychological warfare and through the use of warfare – I know now that consciousness is the politics of revolution across the board. Women have been picking up on intuitive vibes of oppression for lifetimes and we didn’t know what it was. We call it emotional blackmail, emotional pressure, silent control and all the rest of it. It is. It is also pure evil and pure psychological warfare of male fascism. And now that it is out in the open for me, and now that my mind has completely integrated the truth and presence of it, I feel phenomenal. I know now that I will be able to sit or stand with any human being now and not be afraid of their hatred. Because hate is what it is. 

The Joker’s character in The Dark Knight is gruesomely depressing. Relentless and hate just for the sake of it. The examination of evil and the understanding of it is vital for any true warrior to ascend into super warriorship. And it is not easy. Because actually hate just for the sake of it is not actually that. Hate is projection. The way the Joker speaks several times of how he got his scars across his face tell the whole story. He has not been able to come to terms with the presence of evil, so has integrated it himself into ruthless levels of psychopathic cruelty and madness. There are a lot of people out there like that. Do not underestimate the power of evil or the presence of it and you will become a ‘happy’ warrior too. Because it does exist and it is everywhere and it is everywhere to all levels. The Joker may be the extreme. So was Hitler. So are many of the state dictators who have horrified us. So is the extreme lack of humanity that is the Taliban, the machete wielding armies of many African countries at war, and so on. This is the extreme. But in our relatively physically safe environment in the West, do not ever underestimate the power of the EQUIVALENT of psychological warfare. 

The amount of people who underestimate that and have called me pessimistic over the years or a war strategist are laughable, especially as most of them were actually the executioner archetype. They would say that to me and I am so glad that my doubt about it has gone. To be warrior is to recognise evil and anticipate it and know how to integrate it and send it back. That is the most powerful presence on this planet and I am finally it. And it is skill and utilisation of many things that are actually skills. And all skills can be taught and learnt. Ergo, anyone can become a warrior. 

What comes with it however is what we cannot take and why many of you will walk away and maybe come back later or not at all. Because to become warrior in the existence we call Earth, is to become Samurai. An Outlaw. A Robin Hood. A Subversive. A Warrior. 

Because to recognise evil takes us to a place of devastation, where we have to recognise therefore, that there is no love. And that is the idealism and the parallel cynicism and rage at Divinity that we have to overcome to be able to finally take our place in life and understand what it is we are here for and how much Divinity loves us and needs US. 

And why we don’t need a holiday until we die and why we are ‘happy’ to do that and why we need the Batman in us too, more than the Batman needs us. Why we need our purpose and why we want it and why we want to live it more than anything. This is ambition. This is purpose and women, more than anyone have the longest journey to become it because we have the longest legacy of slavery – just in this lifetime – to overcome. And that’s fine. It can be done and is being done and what do you think is the greatest aspect of it? We know slavery of women and the whole evil, inside out and therefore can help in the war to end it more than anyone and to help in the war to end the Patriarchal Matriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell more than anyone else. Because we KNOW it. 

Which leads us to hope. Hope for evil and hope about evil is our greatest problem. I was utterly devastated and indeed in denial for two solid years, about the extent of evil in my man. The extent of his misogyny and male supremacy and selfishness of being. I could not actually believe that my twin soul first of all, on pure spiritual esoteric levels of speak and certainly not the romantic interpretation of that that we are so used to, could be so extreme and dark and on the other side as it were and I could not at the same time believe that I was being told by all sources, visible and invisible, that I was the extreme of love therefore and the light and I could not believe that he was so purely and utterly corruptible and mean and cruel and awful. A fundamental issue for all women, I know and indeed, for men who are involved with cruel women. And indeed, for women who are involved with cruel women and so on, the Matriarch of the Patriarch Toilet Tribe from Hell being as prevalent a fascist as the male. In all her forms and especially in your so called ‘best friends’ most of the time. 

Women are not love per se, by any means. Women like me though apparently are. That is a journey in itself. It doesn’t matter what gift you are given in life, you have to develop it into skill and talent, which is why I can finally accept that my heart is one of the purest on Earth. First, the gift is huge and secondly, I have made the arduous and excruciating journey of purification of that heart and continue to do so every day of my life. That is the task for any Cinderella Warrior. And must be said loud and clear. To be a Cinderella Warrior is actually to become a High Priestess which actually means A Spiritual Mother in the highest sense of the word. Same with any male spiritual leader too. And we are talking in the home as well as in vocation. It is not enough to have intellectual wisdom. That is the gift. To purify to be worthy as a Spiritual Mother Warrior is the journey and the superheroic journey to female. 

And that is the Lost Knowledge and why I am here for one and why there are many others here too. We are here to reclaim and refind that lost knowledge and share it. And it is the inner journey to leadership, spiritual generosity, perception and pure psychological warriorship of superheroic proportions. 

I was devastated on this journey as I say to find out that my twin soul, was essentially evil. That a master, a sexual and sensual and love master is a man who has reformed THAT level of sadism and cruelty and selfishness and male supremacy and I have been floundering around in many forms of hate, despair, shock and extremely constructive justice of action, to get rid of the fucker, unless he can reform. 

I can see now, in this new warriorship of being and new acceptance that warriorship is the way and the way forever, ESPECIALLY for female, and all that the vocal, non physically warring, Spiritual Mother Warrior is – I am watching Wolfgang Peterson’s Troy for instance, with the High Priestess character loving Achilles and his looking within as the greatest killer in history – that the hope is this. My man’s purpose is to reform from dark to light, so he can know the dark and so he can change the world in his way, through knowing the dark. If he reforms and if he ascends to Warrior. That makes total sense. I saw the horror that he was Sean Bean’s character in Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings and was devastated that he was not Viggo MOrtenson’s character instead. He will become that character and through having been Sean Bean’s character, he will be even more useful and powerful in his knowledge of that dark, then if he had not been. That is the extent of the Warriorship journey and the arduous nature of it and the length of it too. That is a vast turnaround and in my humility, which a Warrior, Superhero always has to has, otherwise, we are not superheroic, is that my turnaround from the so called ‘harridan’ to the Spiritual Mother Warrior was also vast. That is the detail of the intellectual wisdom to true Warrior Female Spiritual Mother Warrior journey and equally as vast.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

The Female Wisdom Society Vll (Artwork) 

Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art

Thank you to outside source for original

God The Mother. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Napoleon Hill in his classic of spirituality, Think and Grow Rich, talks of the act of transmuting sex emotion. Of course, at that time, he was speaking to men. Now, that is most relevant, not for men, but for women, in the new age of modern misogyny, which is that we are being asked through evolutionary necessity, to transmute our sex emotion into career and vocation. We are also, and most importantly of all, in fact, nothing could stress the importance of this, as I have found out in my own life, being asked to transmute MOTHER emotion. 

I thought I had escaped the whole mother thing. Wow, was I wrong. I have been a mother since the day I was born and the act of finally beginning not to be a mother, resulted in assassination, isolation, ostracisation, rejection and punishment. And now I am beginning in awe to understand not only why, but what this actually means. 

God is THE Mother of the Universe. The MOTHER. It was James Cameron who contributed to my final passage into true wisdom with his stunning epic of film making and indeed, history and imagination and spirituality, Avatar, which I have just watched four times, after first having seen it last year. What shocks me is that I, as a woman, find it so hard to believe that God is THE Mother, a Woman, Female, whatever way you want to describe it. 

Simone de Beauvoir in her equally epic The Second Sex, talks so much about how women have been seduced into male greatness, and what the source of our every day subconscious worshipping of the male is. I now extend that to what they call God. We have been duped for 6000 years by this myth of male supremacy, not only on Earth, but not on Earth either. Incredible, stunning, devastating and actually quite funny. 

To access our greatness again, women, me, you, men as well who need to access their feminine too – for real – we need to truly be able to honour the female psyche, not just in human beings, but in Divinity. 

And the first thing I am thinking about today, is that why and how on Earth could we possibly have believed that God was male anyway, even in our casual unconscious? Men are not only the source of brutality, male supremacy, cruelty, whoremongering and abuse of power, they are also just frankly, turgid. And that has offended me more than anything else in my life and if you think about it, it offends you too, the most. They don’t have any imagination. And the key question to any real vision or feeling about Divinity, the Highest Love Intelligence there is out of all the Love Inteligence there is that is the Gap, the silence and the invisible, what the fuck else do we think it is other than the most profound depth of imagination?? 

Exactly. 

The greatest creative and innovative works come from imagination. When men have accessed their female psyche, it is almost common knowledge to accept that. The most moving pieces of art we see, hear or experience are of the most incredible levels of imagination. Imagination is also dismissed by the cerebral, Godless, pseudo scientific norm, as airy fairy, wishy washy crap. 

And that I feel, is most obviously directed at one thing. Rage. And women have not only received the end of that rage for 6000 years, we have also meted it out at a male God. God is not male. God is female and The All Mother and we have known that and we have felt so betrayed by Her and we have felt so angry at Her and we have not taken responsibility that we were as responsible for ‘The Fall of Man’ as men were and I am not talking about the literal stupidity of Adam and Eve. I am talking about the esoteric truth of Adam and Eve. The Divine responsibility. The need. 

And even if you need to stay with the literals, we have an answer for that. But for the more intellectually imaginative of us, the esoteric will always replace it more. There is something about evolution that meant that at that time, we were asked to defend ourselves, maybe against the David Icke and others, defined reptile rogue bastards who are still in control of the power structure of the world, the so called catechism that happened then and resulted in the turnaround of the world, Noah and all that stuff and how every legend across the world talks about the world being in disaster at that time and then suddenly, we were being run by a fairy tale from hell, hocus pocus, ridiculous thing, we now know is religion. 

And of course feudalism, fascism and male brutality, female subjugation and so much hatred meted out at the real sources of wisdom and love on this planet. The so called witches. We have been genocided for 6000 years and no one has batted an eyelid. 

Something happened and I for one am one of those who are still exploring it and I feel I am getting closer. Did women feel betrayed? Did everyone feel so betrayed that we turned against God and hated the female because we could not understand the depth of motherly love being so nebulous and not there for us? Have we been raging all this time, for feeling abandoned because of that? Is male hatred against women that profound and that old and for that reason? I think so. 

And the reason I can feel it so strongly is that I have felt that hatred too. Against the female God. Against God. And I feel it no more and it is that that gives me peace like nothing else ever could. Sartre talked about taking responsibility for one’s feelings. I go further. It is not about healing one’s psyche in relation to Earth with no Love Intelligence in the invisible world. It is spiritual existentialism. It is growing up in the face of God, and God being the All Mother and us finally accepting that truth again and knowing that motherly love is tough, beautiful and makes us grow. And that is us finally growing up and taking SPIRITUAL and ESOTERIC and MAGIC responsibility for being wise and grown up human beings and accepting that we are Her children and that as we grow, Her experience on Earth grows too and that the dark had to be taken on so we could become all that we are and so much more. Her. 

An extraordinary world is opening up for me now and no, I could never have seen any of this. 

I am now thinking about our identification with male power. In ourselves and in ourselves as women. I am thinking of the corruption of The All Mother in ourselves too, in ourselves as women. How we have been made to live a stupid version of it and how we have done it so stupidly well. I am changing everything about myself. The way I care for people, the way I have totally given affiliative power my whole life and how I am just no longer interested in it, other than as a language of interaction. A language and no longer a part of myself and no longer a part of myself that I need to be, for myself. 

I can see now how it has all been the mothering girl, misused and exploited into a being that I don’t have to be. I am thinking of how a wise man told me years ago, a healer, that I was too giving and too generous and I am thinking about that fact that I have focused totally on not abusing power as a mother, without even knowing I was a mother and never about the corruption of my true self by being a pure and loving mother in this world. I am finally getting it. 

I am thinking about how I dress like a queen these days and how Elizabeth Taylor, for instance, glamour queen that she was, said she never pretended to be an ordinary housewife. I am thinking about the fact that despite her glory and strength, this is only half the battle as a woman. We may not be ordinary housewives, as it were, as modern women, or as more cosmopolitan women, but we are certainly still ordinary mothers, despite everything. And surely, that is our downfall. That certainly has been mine. I am sure she would say, with the knowledge, I  have just received, that she felt she still spent too much time worrying about the emotions of others, namely her men. I don’t know, but just taking her as a symbolic example, I would not be surprised. This, it seems, is our final frontier. The corrupted mother angel, used and abused by others, without even knowing it and knowing that she is the one who can finally change the way people treat her, by examining what actually does turn out be a twisting of true motherhood and true individuation, as an angel woman on Earth. The twisting of our greatest gift actually, that causes such a splinter in ourselves and ends up being the biggest thing to hold us back, first from our own pressure to be that and secondly, from the immense pressure from everyone else to remain effectively, as Cinderella, despite everything. The helper, the concerned one, the mother, the carer, even if we are earning our own money and even if we are slogging our guts out and even in the workplace, we end up taking on those same roles and then wonder why we can’t get further. When all the time, there is this hidden final woman factor that is suffocating us, completely outside of our own self knowledge. The final misogyny, the final expectation and the final programming that needs to be completely and utterly cleared so we can start all over again. 

I am thinking of abuse and how the so called Stockholm Syndrome means that we stay with our abusers and how people mock those who do, with so much scorn and misunderstanding and lack of sympathy. I am thinking that this is also the same mother gift, corrupted within us, because of the system and our lifetimes on Earth, having done the same thing again and again.

For the first time in my adult life, or even my whole life, I am no longer interested in love stories. Neither books nor films are turning me on anymore, whatsoever. I don’t care about the conflict, and I don’t care about trying to reach an emotionally unavailable man or indeed person of any kind in any kind of relationship. 

That is the mothering gene in me being reborn. And for that, obviously there are two things; first the consciousness of recognition that this is the final frontier of misogyny and tribe expectation from hell for daughters and wives and women like me and secondly, that we have to take the total loss of people that comes with that. The new will finally come when they do and so what. But for now, in order to heal totally, one has to submit to the total assassination and loss that comes from a shift this big. This is a woman’s divorce, a divorce, across the board, as a single woman, without children and without a husband. It doesn’t matter, it is the same mechanism and one might as well have had all those things, such is the same result. It’s bullshit and deeply disturbing and so fucking beautiful that it is finally over. 

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall comes to mind here, by Anne Bronte. 

Woman who loves too much indeed, as Robin Norwood’s book describes. Well, she is talking about the psychosis and not the politics. The politics of female is to be a mother. Play Like a Man and Win Like a Woman is a book by Gail Evans. She talks about the politics (my word) of the roles that women take in the workplace, unbeknown to them. The mother and the ‘lad’ which I presume is the nearest thing to a sister woman. I would argue that even as a ‘lad’ we are still mothering, because we are still focused on men. All women are still focused on men. That is the way we are brought up and that is the way we focus on them, for family and for sexual reasons and for the gaining of male power and to be near male type power. It is inevitable. 

We are in the workplace now and therefore we are unconsciously living by male rules, in a male world, with male identity and male roles of power. Which do not include us. So we, in the workplace can try to be like the men, ie individuals with the right to just be and to compete, show ourselves and focus on ourselves, but for a huge percentage of women, I can bet you anything that this is not the case. The pressure is too strong and the games are still led by men and the male bosses and the male way of being and we – I know I certainly did – still fall into the roles allocated to us and we don’t even know until we realise we are really unhappy. 

And I think about the looks I get these days, as I deliberately and self lovingly, dress like a queen. The audacity that I have, to put myself first and to need no one and how my whole journey and the constant companionship of Spirit that has let me do all this, because ‘getting out of the way’ means that I have the confidence to listen to my deepest feelings and intuitions and know that this is a good thing and not the ‘normal’ belief that it is big headed or vain or self important. Especially as a woman. They, normal society, tells us that women are here to be beautiful and yet, when we do, when we do dress and act as if we are, then we are condemned, not only by scared and envious other women, but indeed by men.

The looks of audacity, I get are mostly from men. They now look at me with a wary condemnation of frustrated non control. It’s quite fascinating and easy to see what pressure there was on such a subliminal basis when I used to clearly listen to that shit and try to hide in all the millions of ways we do, and especially women do. 

I remember especially an incident at the beginning of my journey. So symbolic to me of this schizophrenia of control that men have been brought up to have over women and consequently why they hate us so much and why they are so focused on us and why they will kill to follow these ridiculous rules of honour and respectability and downright stupidity of religion society and pseudo religion society. The bourgeois, the puritanical and the suppression of it everywhere, while they yearn inside for the goddess of woman, the glory of woman and the whole beauty of her and not just the plastic or respectable variety. I see modern feminist writing today – of course, brilliant and essential – and I wonder how far we have come in this analysis. Not far at all. Yes, fair enough, there is a sexualisation of the female today but their interpretation is too narrow for me still. There is no space for the true glory of female sexuality and sensuality, while they understandably focus on the plastic variety. Or I hope they are. Because to me there is a fundamental difference. 

Sexuality and sensuality and being a queen and being Cleopatra is a GOD given female gift and right and while I can understand the argument that I have always seen in feminism, that it shouldn’t be focused on and of course, a woman’s vocational and mind power should be more recognised and that we have such a long way to go – tell me about it, I have lived that nightmare and finally seen the truth of how endemic it is – the fact is that to ignore the sexuality and sensuality and physical and creative glory of a woman is not only unfair, it is also useless. My whole premise of self actualisation is that one’s sexual and primal core is one’s strength. The Samson in all of us is in our holy groin, if you like. And my problem with straight up feminism is that the blue stocking approach has never worked for me and I have a very strong feeling now that this is the problem with it across the board, with women. Men of course have a problem with feminism and will be the last to yield, like racists to any issue of colour. I have accepted that now and feel neither outrage nor hurt about it anymore. Racism is racism and male supremacy is male supremacy. The world is at war and we have a choice. Either to hide in our illusions – I tried it for years and don’t blame any woman for having to do that – or we go to war forever and understand WHY Earth is the so called abode of miseries and we create our destiny of revolution and self empowerment and self audacity and self Cleopatra out of that mire. 

Because the alternative is the all giving mother who is abused, used and misused all her life, until she dies, of misery, deprivation and un-fulfilment. That is the alternative. Slavery on Earth. The female mother in all her forms. The female in all her forms. 

My journey through all its myriad of ups and downs, took me to an incredible place of suddenly being able to spend time and money on, what for me, is a huge wardrobe. Actually, it is not huge, but in comparison to most I am sure it is and more to the point, I was given the chance at the right time, in the right way, to be able to choose female clothing for the first time in my life. 

I see it everywhere. Like many women, I sort of dressed half female and half male and was really confused about how to be and how to show myself. I come from not only a puritanical tribe family, but an Asian puritanical family. Actually, it’s quite secular in comparison to the general prison sentence of being Asian and female, but for me and in Western terms, it was still puritanical. And I realised that up until my latter years, I actually was standing and sitting so I didn’t draw attention to my breasts. These subliminal pressures of behaviour are murderous and so appalling to finally find out about. I was in my mid forties, before I actually realised I had a right to show even the shape of my breasts. It’s extraordinary, the puritanical pressure that we are all living under. 

So I went out and quietly and singularly, chose clothes I have never worn before. Dresses, dresses with low necks, floral prints, flowing fabrics, light colours, primal bright colours, scarves, skirts. Now, of course, the irony is that I bought a large amount of these clothes for my new life, with my man. Not sad at all, as that is the conundrum. I bought them, with him and us in mind, so my clothes are feminine, sensual and beautiful, to go with my usual and wonderful ‘fly girl’ outfits of more stronger and primal force of male energy. Basically, I balanced up my wardrobe for the first time in my life. I also bought a lot as I was moving abroad for this dream of illusion that of course never happened as it was never meant to be, because as it turns out I am one the most fortunate women alive, because I never had to viscerally enter the world of Bluebeard after all. 

So I am alone and disabled and vulnerable and relying on the state fully and utterly and therefore, in this context of a mother who doesn’t have to mother anyone for the first time, I am able to be completely and utterly self focused, self indulgent and self caring. And it is a brand new and quite uncomfortable feeling. And it is utterly amazing. Amazing and also very sad. As I look back on my life now, of course, I see it as a waste of energy. I see the misery of the pain of slavery and the invisible forms of slavery that I was completely duped by. And like all ironies, the irony of my life is that I have been focused on the history of slavery in all its forms forever. I was of course, in total self medication of denial, completely unaware that I was so interested in slavery because I, myself was the most enslaved slave I have ever met. But the fact is that I had studied slavery in many forms and yet, missed out the most crucial aspects of any oppression. That it is the invisible levels that always need to be uncovered and that we are constantly, as a people on Earth, discovering new forms of slavery as we become, tortuously slowly, freer and freer. 

So, with my modest income and my physical pain and debilitation, I strut and swagger around as if I am a rich queen. It’s quite surreal and deeply comforting and very nice. No one has a clue who I am. All they know is that I am kind to whoever wants to speak to me. That is who I am. The difference now is that I do not go out of my way to speak to or help anyone anymore and it is a hard discipline to learn. I can see in self examination now, not knowing what parts to keep or what parts to stop doing now, how I talk to a lot of people when I am out and about and I help people all the time in hundreds of little ways. And it makes me uncomfortable right now. I know that things will even out and that I will get to a centred place in myself, where I will never lose my essential generosity of spirit. The difference will be that I will not be a mother slave anymore. And that is what chattel and princess and lovely daughter and beautiful wife is. A mother slave. And in these uncomfortable times, I am also embracing the other side of it. We all fulfil these strange roles of the tribe, ultimately, to avoid loneliness. Such is the way of the human heart. Not to say it is our fault. Slavery is slavery. 

But the reasons why it is so hard to see and so hard to give up, becomes then about loneliness, the fear of it and the very real result that standing alone and being oneself as a woman manifests as. Isolation and punishment and ostracisation. This is not a fear. It is a reality. 

That, however is one perspective. What it also means is that as we return to God, The Mother, as opposed to the mean God the Father, we can see how we are Her and She is us. In other words, even if we just take the symbolic of the emotions here, I am realising the wonderful truth. I LOVE being alone. I love being me and I love being and I love being alone and I love not having to give anything to anyone and I love not having to pay attention to other peoples needs and I love just being. 

And that is the greatest privilege of any human being, any FEMALE human being we could ever imagine.

We are programmed to be mothers, whether we have children or not and I had no idea and I know you don’t either. We are programmed to be motherly. That is slavery and an abuse of our natural gift of generosity and human awareness and people awareness and wisdom and insight. I am now myself and putting myself first every day – the thing that people tell us to do all the time – and to do that, I have had to walk away from EVERYONE I have ever loved. Because no one wanted me to be free and no one wanted me to look after myself. 

That is extraordinary. That is genocide. Daily, hourly and by the minute genocide. 8 out of 10 Asian girls in this country, self harm through cutting themselves and 10 percent of the world’s entire income is earned by women and 1 percent of all the property across the world is owned by women. We are a slave people, enslaved through our motherly love and that is beyond shocking. 

Which is why feminism runs with its arguments and I totally honour that. As any sane woman should. But how to implement the ideals is another thing. How to get past the emotions of slavery and indeed, the belief that God is male. Religion is not only the scourge of the Earth, it is this ridiculous mindset that we are given even before we can talk. What age do we learn about Adam and Eve? Who can even remember, it is that early. The Nativity Play thing. That is at nursery school, isn’t it? Shocking. It is the biggest lie on the planet and yet taught to us, Big Brother style, as the greatest version of official Nazi authoritarianism that George Orwell could ever have symbolised in 1984. It’s stunning. 

Simply stunning and we buy it, every day, every hour, every minute. I see women everywhere, intelligent, female writers, healers and spirituals who are still constantly referring to God as He. I am not going to enter or start an argument about it, I am just going to say, stunning. And I look at myself and think, yes, the reason is purely political and purely about brainwashing. It is not just that I was taught, like 75 percent of the world at least that God is male and that religion is male and that all priests are male and that they have the key to God and we don’t – which is such laughable bullshit in the first place and so endemic a poisoning that we all believe it or don’t, such is the state of the world. Either male religion or nothing – it is not just that. I am also taught to hate myself as a woman. Malcolm X said it. An oppressed people hate themselves. It is inevitable. 

So our self hatred as women not only manifests in self hatred as women, not valuing other women as much as we involuntarily value men, we also do not even contemplate the idea that Divinity, could even be female, because female is now worth less in our eyes than male. And we are women. What the fuck hope is there is misogyny and male supremacy being reversed in cockless men, if women can’t even get rid of it in ourselves first? Of course. 

And the shock of the past few weeks, only when I have suddenly realised that everything LOGICAL leads to the recognition that GOD is female, is something that was so far out of my own mind, I had never even thought about it. Me! And I have thought about everything else. Stunning. The levels and forms of slavery are stunning and can never be underestimated, ever. 

We are not only enslaved as a people, we are enslaved by our spiritual beliefs as much and until we change all of these things, nothing is going to change. Which is the point. Forget about the bigger picture, it is good to see the context every so often and fundamentally important to any alchemy, but the point is to change oneself and that is what I am saying. I am stunned at how my motherly love was my downfall and stunned that this same motherly love has not led me to the recognition that GOD is the ULTIMATE MOTHERLY love and therefore of course, is female. How fucking logical is that?? Stunning. 

We also don’t think GOD is female, because we are all programmed, even feminism, with the belief that women are not leaders and not as capable and not as powerful and so on. All philosophy by its very nature  - and all religion is, is the most BASIC form of hocus pocus philosophy, sold to us like it’s the fucking gospel – oh, yes, those are the gospels. You see, the vernacular is so endemic and so entrenched. I can still remember 12 or so years ago, when my first spiritual esoteric teacher made me see that the world existed before Adam and Eve. What? Now, I feel suitably embarrassed at my own stupidity, but it was so hard to get out of that mindset. You mean, there was a world before the beginning of the world, according to the Gospel? Think about it. Do you really know that, believe that and BELIEVE that? Exactly. 

I have just started reading a book on all the theories of Atlantis, by Simon Cox and Mark Foster. I have read about two pages and the consciousness has started flooding as it does in all my reading. They are talking about the theory that exists across the world, in all independent cultures, that there was an apparent catechism, with Noah style rescues everywhere and that these fair skinned, blue eyed people turned up and said they were survivors of Atlantis and started telling everyone how to live. I have so much flooding through in consciousness that I have already stopped. What? Basically, this rogue set of aliens that David Icke talked about, blew up the world and then turned up to the shores of all these cultures around the world and PRETENDED they were the enlightened from the true enlightened time of advancement in Atlantis and sold us a hocus pocus of stupid, male supremacy, religion based hocus pocus, womb stealing, female genocide crap and we bought it forever. THAT is what happened. And as I watch James Cameron’s Avatar, well it all makes a fuck of a lot of sense again. 

We are truly living the biggest lie that has ever existed on this planet. And the more of us who wave around this ‘crazy’ theory in all our different ways, the more it will finally enter the vernacular. That is how the world changes. But who cares for now. That will take generations and perhaps centuries. Those who can feel the truth and hear and feel consciousness will feel the truth of what we are all saying. And that means the ability to change yourself which is the fundamental point of my work on alchemy. For years and years and years, I, like most freedom fighters, tried to change the world around me. Forget it. Change yourself. That changes your world and then maybe, it will change the world. That is not our problem. That is not our job. Our job is to change ourselves and that means an extraordinary amount of silent and un – accoladed work on ourselves which seems like it’s going nowhere and makes us appear like losers (in this stupid world) when we are winning in a way that others will not even see a glimpse of in this lifetime. That should make you feel good and that is the only important thing. 

Which brings me back to GOD. As I look at the misuse of my motherly love and the enslavement of my species as wombs and pussies and servants and carers to the tribe nightmare of existence, called family, and the whole male supremacy lie of the aliens and the lie that they were from Atlantis – that really pisses me off and should you too – disgusting fuckers – who either blew up the world or indeed, invaded Atlantis, threw us out of the highly advanced, esoteric, cosmic science and wisdom temples and tried to manipulate the Universe’s energies themselves and then called it ‘corruption of power’. In other words, they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing and they were most certainly not doing it from a place of love but rather the simple pursuit of power OVER The Universe, oh, doesn’t that sound familiar – as I look at the twisted turnaround on Earth so that suddenly GOD was a slave and the male God the usurper, I see my life. I see GOD and I see MOTHER on Earth and MOTHER, The Universe and I am at peace. I am truly at peace and feel the love of my true MOTHER as I have never felt it before, in this life or indeed, all my lifetimes of being enslaved to the tribe and indeed, my own misuse of my motherly love. And I see the corruption of anything and everything that is supposed to be father. I see the ridiculous emptiness of father, human and Divine and I see the lie. The Divine in people, literally and the MOTHER in me, literally. And I see the High Priestess and I see the Sacred Whore and I see the world and I see love. And that is all we need to do. See it in ourselves and we will win. 

And then of course, I come back to the misuse and bastardisation of GOD on Earth, through the bastardisation and misuse and twisted-ness and slavery of all that is female. It is never women that men are competing with or trying to subjugate. This has now become a usual feeling of mine and I see it more and more and now I see it even more. It is competition and subjugation of GOD that they are meting out, through their hatred of us. Men have been programmed, either by these rogue bastard aliens who pretended to be enlightened beings from OUR Atlantis, or because they just became corruptible twats of stupidity, to hate us, to make GOD disappear from this existence in our minds and hearts and I would say they have done their job pretty well. 

But women have corrupted too and this is our work first, if we are women. There is no point, looking at the bigger picture. Tackling men and taking on men, personally, professionally or globally even, is the second job. The first job is to change ourselves. And that takes two things. Wisdom and separatism. In other words, what I am being asked to do now, even though I have actually already been doing it all my life. I have finally accepted that I am one of the luckiest women alive, because, having been ‘the other woman’, the kind of woman, ‘men don’t marry’, I have been saved so much literal heartache, literal slavery and literal abuse. And I am finally giving thanks for that so much. It has meant, that despite my utter misery and loneliness and feeling rejected my whole life and being trapped in co-dependency situations with corrupt women, I have escaped male abuse my whole life. On another level of course I have not, but on this literal basis I have and as I look at the way women are looking at me now, I think they know it too and I think they envy me for it and I am no longer surprised. I am untarnished. Unpoisoned and unharmed. 

And I am almost 50. That is surely a miracle on Earth. I am not embittered, I am not even a woman who looks my age, I am coming across, I am sure, even younger than I have before and it is all because – other than the stupendous alchemy journey I have been privileged enough to make – I have never been married! That’s why. 

And after years of bemoaning my fate, I am finally grateful and in awe. I never had to do it and I never had to be a slave. I did live with a man once. For six months. I threw him out and have never allowed a man to be in that close proximity ever since. That is the truth. The other truth is that I have worked incredibly hard to find out why they are so awful and why relationship, despite being the thing I have wanted most, a sense of family as well as the romance of the love, I have also made sure that I am safe and that has meant not being in a relationship. And I have found out why and that is my work and that is my legacy and that is my being and my purpose. 

These things are not by coincidence. It’s because I have done relationship in the many lifetimes I have lived on this planet and this time, I was here to find out why they are so awful and to find out how to get through them into an individuated and non slave life again as a woman. And this of course is referring to both men and women, both relationship of a romantic and sexual and companionship nature and with family style relationships with women. They both stink. And they are both with the same demand on a female like me. Motherly love, enslavement and disempowerment and being possessed. 

And they are both of course, completely my own co-dependency and NEED to be motherly. Both of which are the things that we, as women, can do something about and the main work we NEED to do and the only work that is actually necessary to change our lives and the hardest work we will ever do in ANY lifetime on Earth. 

The alchemical truth. And through that, we return to GOD, The Mother and we return to OURSELVES, the woman. And that is a stupendously, inexplicable (I am sure I will try) miracle, beyond miracles. It is pure bliss and what you deserve, what you have always deserved and what you will attain if you hear what I say and you feel the truth of it and you feel the NEED to feel the truth of. 

I think of the women who look at me and actually have always looked at me with awe, judgment, bewilderment, rampant jealousy, admiration and rage. I evoke the best and worst in them and I am not surprised. I have moaned and groaned my way through life as I have battled with this incredible truth of my utter determination – Spartacus style – unknowingly and knowingly, that I was NOT going to be a slave in this life. I can see it now, what I have been doing and why my arena – relationship and family – had to be so intense and so constant and so overwhelming and so crippling. 

And I look at these women and no longer resent their presence and that is the turning point. When one can finally know why one is hated by everyone, those who want to enslave her and those who want to kill her too, for not being a slave like them, that is when success finally begins to feel complete. I have always likened everything to a plantation in America’s Southern States. I was gripped by the exploration of all forms of evil on this planet from a very early age and comprehensively and studiously took in every detail about African American slavery. To me, it is a generic. The slave who revolts will always be hated as much by the plantation owner as he or she is hated by the other slaves. It is inevitable and it is the central essence of any alchemy teaching from me and has certainly been my experience from the beginning. 

Take the family. The father and the brother will subjugate you by their very existence in the tribe society, religion from hell and soulless aliens, as it happens, pseudo spiritual society crap. It is inevitable, whether it is harsh, subtle, controlled or completely hidden. But that is not all. The mother and sisters will subjugate you too. They want to ‘keep the peace’ first and see you as the rebel who is a danger to everyone and second, they will want to subjugate you themselves. You are hated all round and will be used the most and abused the most and kept down the most, because of course, paradoxically, you will become the centre of the family because you are the centre of the family abuse. It’s a wonderful legacy to live and all you can do is what I did. Do it. Make that journey through hell, be Spartacus as woman and do it. And be a motherly slave for years and years and years – take the blows and keep fighting and keep making sure you never lose yourself - and at the same time, as these things happen, develop the huge gifts of generosity, perception and wisdom and then use them and use them well, to kill the same fuckers who you have learnt with and fought against and leave and fly and live. That, in a nutshell is the domestic, female Spartacus journey in one. The meek shall inherit the Earth. Love shall inherit the Earth and you will be loved. You already are but one day, you will finally feel it, because our arena is not human, it is Spirit and it is a SHE. We are her beloved and we are her warriors and we are her leaders on this planet and one day you will know what I know and you will be pleased, in awe and honoured and see the sense of the whole mad, awful, disgusting experience called life. And you will smile. 

Because what kills us is not the slavery. What kills us is the splinter of confusion about WHY we are slaves. And that is where my work is for you, as it is for me. I am the consciousness to follow politics and I am the politics to follow consciousness and that is the all and all that you need. 

I see the women who look at me. And my heart breaks. While they look at me and see just the finished product and not the years and years of hard and focused war work I have had to do, I see them. Broken, ill, slow, in old or tattered clothing, downtrodden, on the periphery of existence and always third and fourth class citizens and I see then men. Smartly dressed, teeth all done well, hair slicked and cut, power coming out of their bodies with the confidence of wealth, stealth and empowerment and I see the justice of this world down the toilet and I finally know why. I see the women carrying. Women are always carrying, always on the buses and always carrying much more than they individually need. And I see the men. So polished and carrying nothing. They just have to carry themselves and yet they are the ones with all the accolades and the literal spoils of war. Be Spartacus and become the truth and you will no longer look at me with envy, hatred or rage. But no matter. Now, that I am finally out of the mire, out of the mob, I do not fear or resent your hate. It is the inevitable projection of pain. Women are in so much pain. 

And no one cares and no one is listening and now that I have left them all behind, all the people who have ever hurt me, I am at peace with their pain. Because it is their pain and I have the answers. Whether anyone can take it on or not, the journey to freedom is not up to me. And that in itself is a massive healing of the misuse of the motherly gift and so brand new for me and so glorious and incredible, that the compassion that finally comes with that is the peace. 

Women are forced into this caring position while not ever being allowed to care for themselves. No wonder women are in so much pain and in so much rage. And like all oppressed people, we turn on each other and we kill each other. And all that means is that the perpetrators of evil continue to thrive and survive. This is the literal depth of the comment that one should be sisterly and all the rest of it. 

There is different kinds of mothering for sure. The Mars archetype of woman for instance, like a Mars man, may be emotionally empty, but a material provider a lot of the time, a leader in the workplace and so on. But there is – and I envied this so much before my Spartacus alchemisation – a self interest that is inherent in them that is admirable and now what I am finally able to embrace. They are women who TALK a great deal about mothering and are very good at the self promotion of a so called mother. But they are not mothers. They are actually fathers. Their motherly love is very fatherly in a tribe manner of speaking. They are would be protectors, would be providers and would be leaders. They are none of those things of course, because they are also the corruptibles. They have no original thought, have no problem with the tribe and have no problem with abusing Cinderella archetypes anymore than the men do. They are men with pussies. And no mothers of mine. Never have been, never will be in any way again. My human mother was one of them. She loved the glory of motherhood and made sure everyone knew about it. And no monster is one dimensional. Sure, the love was there sometimes and very charming and very glamorous and very sincere always. But the abuse was just as sincere and just as literal and just as present and it was awful. The trade of slavery for parenting is over and it is the way the whole fucking world is run and it’s disgusting and we are all sick for it. And my father meanwhile is an apparently motherly father. Also good providers, men of the motherly type are also of apparent wisdom, apparent insight and apparent advice. I have never been as bored in my life, as when he began to speak. He spoke nothing but cerebral pseudo wisdom my whole life, all with the subtletly of the most manipulative fascist you could ever imagine, all under the guise of motherly love. Again, no monster is one dimensional, but what an incredible training. Whatever way round it is , the mothers as the fathers, the fathers as the mothers, the whole business of parenting in our ‘modern’ primitive world is sick, stupid and cruel and it is always the Cinderella Spartacus that will suffer the most and indeed, benefit the most. Earth is our journey. These people are our facilitators. The sincere sick. We are here to make the journey to freedom and that is the single and most important point of all of this and a direct reflection of GOD, The Mother. WE are Her experience. 

So the women are without a doubt, as much slavers as the men. And I never hear feminism say that enough, if ever. I wouldn’t presume, but I have never heard that even in casual social feminism talk. It is women like me, who are the unknowing motherly angels. Bound and trapped by our own love. Like John Cofee. But we are not like him, because we are stripped of our spiritual knowledge, and we then end up giving as tribe mothers on Earth. That is not the way and never will be again from this heart and hopefully, from your hearts too. At least some of you and that is a great result. 

Cinderella to Spartacus means ending the misuse of actually – and this is the most tragic part if not done – the greatest gift we have. Our hearts, our minds and our spirits of pure gold. We ARE the love on Earth, the beauty on Earth, the kindness on Earth and the wisdom on Earth. We are the all. The child goddesses, the princesses of love, the Hans Christian Anderson Little Mermaid, the Beauty of Beauty and the Beast. 

But I see now, how my past lifetimes, the most recent ones, must have been about the dynamic between a man and a woman and indeed, the dynamic of the family – I think here of Chekhov’s Three Sisters for some reason – because THAT is what I seem to have been addicted to. The romance of it, whether it was romance or the family. The helping, the trying to uncover the problems, the drama of it, the conflict of it. It is not enough to say that someone is addicted to conflict. The Cinderella Warriors are the leaders in healing conflict. That is what we do. We are the natural healers and sages and the problem as usual is that we are addicted to the wrong arena. We are here to heal these situations, but NO LONGER in this way. We are now being asked to do more, be more and reach for more. We are being asked to RETURN to GOD, The Mother. We are being asked to return to the temples and be the High Priestesses again and we are being told that in this lifetime and from now on, it is possible and that is wild, mad and unprecedented. We don’t have a fucking clue what we are doing and it takes nothing less than BECOMING the full sage and High Priestess all over again now. Like it was in the beginning. Which actually may sound utterly mad and terrifying but doesn’t it also sound a fuck of alot more interesting than just being Elizabeth Bennet or Jane Eyre or Marianne in Sense and Sensibility? I think so and finally am getting how beautiful and glorious and incredible it all is and you will too. I can guarantee that. 

I think of Eva Marie Saint’s character in On the Waterfront. I think of Debra Winger’s character in An Officer and a Gentleman and so on. These are Cinderella Warriors, but the focus is still on men. I have been reading Mills and Boons every so often, since I was 17. On the one hand, the greatest education for a Cinderella Warrior, for sure. And the most interesting kind of relationship and the only one that turns on a woman like me. I was built for passion and nothing less. The teddy bear of companionship has no appeal to me whatsoever without the in love, the sexuality, the sensuality or the passion. Others call this extreme. I call it normal and that is not a dysfunction. What IS the dysfunction is the motherly misuse of my greatest gift, into human relationships at all and the focus on helping a man find himself by accessing his emotional self. 

Frankly, I have always known men were emotionally dysfunctional and passion was the only thing that was ever going to make it worthwhile. So why don’t the sensible doubters think about that? The Cinderella Warrior is a fuck of a lot more than you ever give her credit for. Why would I want to be with a man I don’t fancy, as marriage across the world seems to be, even when there is choice. It is hard enough when you do fancy them. If you don’t even fancy a man and you put yourself through that shit, who is the fool? Exactly. But then of course, we move to the other mode of motherly love from the Mars females. Their area of motherly love gift and misuse is mothering children, literally. Their love is for children and their arena is the same, trapped in the tribe expectations of motherhood, while trying to provide for their children, emotionally, often financially and literally at the same time. 

Anyway, what I am now discovering though is golddust and completely unprecedented for me and it seems, the Cinderella Warrior race, and indeed, in a different way, for the Mars female race too. Apparently, we don’t even have to focus on the men or families anymore, AT ALL. Exactly. I don’t know yet how this applies to the Mars female, because her access to GOD, The Mother is different and when I look back to the ancients, their role in society was different to ours and it is very probably that they are and were as corruptible as the men so I am not focusing on them for now but it is the same thing on another level. And of course, for the men too. Everyone can access GOD. The difference is that the Cinderella Warriors are the High Priestesses. Men it is said in these ‘pagan’ times accessed Spirit, through accessing the female. The female accessed directly. I speak of such truth and I have lived that truth and live it every day and see the female High Priestesses in training all around me and I see the others. So I would ascribe so far to my own theory, that the Mars women, access GOD through us too. The women and indeed, the men of Spirit are the ones who can access directly. The others access through us. And we are as far away from the abusive, pseudo spirituality of priests as anyone could possibly imagine. We however have these two arenas to work through. The distrust of anyone apparently, free thinking, who thinks all priests are the devil, and priests are. High Priestesses and High Priests are not, but of course, then you ahve to look at the even greater corruption and hocus pocus to match that of relgion and the so called intelligent scientific community, the literals of voodoo and the bastardisation of the whole thing in a completely different and brutally stupid way. It’s everywhere, so until we come up wtih a new vernacular for High Priestess, you will have to move past all the prejudices and just listen. Feel and hear the truth, or not. 

And at least the good thing about the Sacred Whore is that there is no vernacular. No one has a clue about this concept which means that, while it can be easily dismissed – isn’t everything that is not religion by apparently intelligent human beings – it is also pure in its non prejudice. The Sacred Whore is the Cinderella Warrior in her pure and returned form. The tribe mother daughter or mother mother or mother sister or mother helper or mother lover is the Sacred Whore, misused, disrupted, disturbed and bastardised. 

And look at the pressure. The programming to be motherly, because of this very gift of both wisdom and beauty, is so entrenched, so vast and so endemic, and like our sexuality, there is nothing wrong with the gift itself, the genius itself and the unique work we do to improve these gifts and genius. This is our genius in itself, this is our work and this is who we are. The problem is that we are either bastardised through the tribe or misunderstood and vilified by the feminists. To demarcate it maybe unfairly and too simply. Let’s go with it for now. And it is what we have done with our genius and gifts, understandably as the result of all this that is the modern misogyny of male supremacy and tribe supremacy and suffocation that we now live with. 

First of all, if a feminist is a Mars female, well, what is that saying? Does she have children, is she a man about her children, is she a male female about her man, sort of thing? I would have to know that in minute detail now to hear anything a Mars female says, such has been my experience of that female misogyny and tyranny in my life, across the board, everywhere and in all positions of power. 

Second, is the pressure from the tribe, the Mars females, the Mars males and the Venus males and of course, other unconscious Venus High Priestess possibility females too. That is the level of pressure a Cinderella Warrior experiences, to be a bastardised mother instead of a High Priestess. That is our challenge and nothing less. To get rid of ALLLLLLLL that pressure. All of it. Kill it dead, leave, make the mass Exodus and never look back. Earth is our journey. It is OUR heroic journey and no one else’s before us or after us to the same extent. Because it is endemic and all pervasive and because it is a complete unknown.

It is also highly demanding in self promotion and self love to levels one cannot even fathom. Because no one else is going to tell us and most of all, no one is going to care. The women of Mars have been the greatest violators and rapists of my emotional self in my life and pretended to be my best friends all the way through. Two in particular, who are of esoteric wisdom, to a certain extent themselves were my worst violators and enviers and haters and were there purposefully to make me revolt and get rid of them and understand the female corruptibles. They are a form of evil and I thought they were fellow High Priestesses. Nothing could be farther from the truth and it is very dangerous and very understandably difficult to ascertain who is who with no perameters, other than one and one is all we need. 

Our wisdom. Our wisdom is unfathomable, in a High Priestess Cinderella archetype and the journey you will be on already or that I will be one of those who start you on, is a nightmare from the deepest dark depths of hell. It is also your salvation and what you have been waiting for, for eons. Since the time of Atlantis. And it will free you beyond all worlds, into THE world of GOD, The Mother and all that is important is to keep that goal in mind. 

And you can then put behind all those doubters and people, primarily women, who have called you fanciful, stupid, airy fairy, ungrounded, weird, and all the rest of it. These are women who play at wisdom, they don’t have it. They are the corruptibles and they do not care about you one bit. 

The men will just leave you. Leave you and leave you and leave you. They don’t have any interest, any competition and have no interest in reclaiming their wisdom, in whatever depths they are capable of. And this is the state of play. Because wisdom is not just a nebulous thing and certainly not just an intellectual thing and if you thought you had wisdom when you start, you will find out and you ALONE will find out all that wisdom is. 

Buddha is female, every ‘wise man’ who has ever lived is female. Merlin is female, everyone is female. The lies that we have been told, the folklore of literature that promotes male wisdom is a lie. These are not the spiritiuals of the world. Women are. Women of a particular kind who make a particular journey and the men who are like us. The High Priestesses and High Priests of this world. 

And you will find, like I did, that there are many many pretenders. And they will try and kill you and they will violate you and they will steal from you and they will leave you for dead without a second glance. It seems, that the most sought after commodity on Earth after all is Spirit. Not, simply, as in religion, for the power over others that it brings, but also, in these pretenders, the belief that anyone can access wisdom. The recognition of the High Priestess it seems is an insult to their very being and other than the fact this is a violation of who we are in the most fundamental sense, it is also quite fascinating. And to me, explains the whole turnaround and the whole violation of Atlantis in the first place. 

Somehow, these men and women, led or not by the alien stupids, tried to take power in our temples and threw us out and fucked up in such a disastrous way that – well, we know how, and we see the world that they have ALL created. 

But first we have to un bastardise ourselves and that is the biggest journey and the worst thing we have to go through and it’s bad. Really bad. In blindfolds, we have to move ourselves through ‘loving too much’, ‘love dependency’ co-dependency, dependency on anyone else materially and to stand utterly and completely alone. Yes, it’s bad and it’s sad and it’s extraordinarily painful and it’s extraordinarily treacherous and we paradoxically need the help of the violating pretenders to get us this far. 

And I mean, co-dependency of ANY kind. We cannot rely on anyone, talk to anyone, be with anyone and live with no one. Because no one knows what the fuck we are, let alone us. And we have work to do and we have a world to reclaim and the only way we can do that is to reclaim ourselves and we have to do it stealthily, secretly, loudly and emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually and do it all alone. 

Other than the extraordinary truth that we are the ones who are most NOT ever alone. And that is the wisdom journey and the journey that is ours to have and the journey that is uniquely ours and ours to enjoy, endure and discover. And for all their power, for all their violation and for all their strength of attack, there is no other kind of person who is about to see what you will see. And that is what makes it worthwhile and your wonderful, spiritual duty and privilege on this planet. 

Magic? WE are the beings of magic on Earth and we get to BE The Queendom of Heaven. And for that we are already at wizard school, just by sharing this information. It is wizard school that we enter when we begin this kind of journey, the Cinderella Warrior and make no bones about it, it is as precarious as Star Wars, as child like and amazing as Harry Potter and as glorious as JR Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings. It is GOD. 

And all the memories and indeed, weird training of being a bastardised High Priestess on this planet will finally become a distant memory. The extraordinary theft and violation of who we are that has turned us from the most Divine on Earth, into the slaves, that now number 150 billion. A quarter of the world if we talk in archetypes and of course, to a certain extend the other 150 billion male equivalents. But males are not enslaved like we are, which is why I focus on the female Cinderella Warrior. We are the most bastardised of the human race and the most violated with the most to give. It is the learning of how to give truly that will save not only ourselves finally out of birth bonded labour, but also save the world eventually. When, who cares, that is not our job, even though we are the only ones who deeply care. Spirit, The Great Mother, wants us to save ourselves first and then the rest will come. 

And for that, we have to turn around the immense bastardisation in each and every one of our lives. The pressure to be this motherly slave. Either be this motherly slave or be an unwanted bitch. Yes please, I for one, finally take the latter option and am so grateful for it. 

The recognition in the middle of the Exodus or the build up to the Exodus I should say, is that there can be and has to be a recognition that this is also what has given me the best in me. It has made me, developed my gifts to a good level and shown me who I am and how wonderful I am that I stuck to my guns and remained love through all the violations and it should you too. It is not the act of beauty, kindness, benevolence or wisdom that is the problem and never ever think that, as I did of myself for so many years, before my journey. When we wonder around, desperately trying to incorporate evil so we can fight evil with evil and win. So we can have Earth power like them, so we can be confident like them and so we can be like them. It is a natural part of the process but as you know too, the most painful, before the pain of the journey that is, the re-programming that any High Priestess, worth her weight has to do, to even begin to become free. 

And indeed, to return to The Source. 

We wonder around, trying to be like them, knowing at the same time that abuse of power is the single most disgusting and appalling and widespread evil on Earth and knowing that we do not want it and not only that we do not want it, we are just not very good at it. When we abuse power, High Priestess latents, we either fuck it up or we almost destroy ourselves. That is the mark of a person of love and yet we then beat ourselves up for doing it and are so disgusted at ourselves that we become even more silent for it. All the while, without this crucial knowledge that this is exactly what makes us so pure. 

The heroine’s journey indeed. The Psyche and Eros journey, the journey to overcome fate in the face of male supremacy cruelty is about a fuck of a lot more than ending male supremacy and family control and prosaic cruelty and equalisation. It is about changing the very matter of woman, to become a SELF SERVING individual forever. That is extraordinary. The depths that it takes, the pain of re-programming and the glory of the female GOD, returned. We become female again and GOD, The Mother is what we finally return to at last, in peace and relief. And then, apparently, the guy comes back and by that time, we have finally learnt to put his love AFTER the love of GOD, The Mother and indeed our own love and like for all life outside him. We learn to put love for a man second. This is the extraordinary depth of love dependency overturned for a woman. Man has love dependency too, don’t have any doubt about that. All bullies and all controllers and all fascists are love dependent. They just have a completely psychotic over psychotic over psychotic way of showing it. 

The destruction of the world is their love dependency. That is the second part of the journey and through that we become all that we can become for our real life. 

Our own life. The second part of the journey meantime is still mothering of a kind but a real progression from the gentle, tribe controlled and gentle Divine mother of understanding and compassion that we should all be very proud of being. It is the misuse of that into obedient women, terrified of being rejected if we speak up that is the anomaly of who we are, not the essence of our pure love and that must always be remembered and is, when we begin the journey to reclaim ourselves. It is the years before that I almost regret – I do not believe in regret – because I hated that part of me and wanted to change it so much and become nasty and evil just like everyone else. And I tried, I really tried, but it almost killed me and I remember, even in the midst of my almost visceral suicide attempt, thinking, why doesn’t everyone else want to die when they become this hollow and mean? There, you have the answer. We, the High Priestess (and High Priest) class come from a different material, a different level and vibration of love. We do not LIKE being mean or hollow or nasty. It makes us literally ill. Others, literally thrive on it. Such is their different vibration of love and that is Earth. We are certainly not all the same and we most certainly do have to learn to live together and we most certainly therefore have to find our place and our role and remember exactly who the fuck we are. Ie, who we were in Atlantis. And forget about every single other thing we have been taught. And I don’t know if you’re aware, the evil of the world has made sure there IS no information about Atlantis. So this takes us onto the real issue, which is the real issue of self actualisation and the modern way of consciousness being the change from within. Wisdom. We have the greatest access to wisdom for a reason. We are the ones who need it the most. Sedition, self actualisation, re-invention and imagination. Our gifts. Don’t ever dismiss them and do not ever lose them, wherever it takes you and however many people you lose. They really are not worth it. Your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your so called best friend, you so called love of your life. This is a serious journey. It’s about YOU. And nothing is worth compromising over that journey. And don’t worry. Once you have submitted to the journey, the Universe makes sure you won’t compromise anyway! Believe me. Kicking and screaming, you will be taken to Nirvana and you will turn around and find out, through the darkest terror that you have lost everything, and then you will see Elysium, just like Maximus does, after killing Commodus dead and giving Rome back to the people. Destiny is destiny. I am just preparing you. 

Because I can. 

It is not just about becoming the hag, which is hard enough, so you can mother in the right way and the constructive way, especially with a man or a female Mars archetype, who are spoilt beyond reason by tribe mothers, who are actually scared of them and usually a more unevolved version of our archetype, such is the way of the world, generation to generation, it is not even about the shattering knowledge that we will be damned for being dark as we were damned for being angel, and that we can’t win whatever we do and that they are still addicted to us just to have us as a beating bag, you know, those boxing things. They should be called beating bags. I certainly felt like one. It’s not even about that, it’s about much more. It is then, after killing Commodus, showing one of that type of person, the depths and ugliness of their ego, because they are the last people ever to see themselves and are above that sort of thing and spend their whole lives in adolescent blame and shaming other people, because everything is other peoples fault and indeed responsibility too and they have nothing to change in themselves and they will kill you like Commodus, before they admit to being wrong about anything at all in their whole stupid lives, it is then about rejecting motherhood completely, just when you have got quite good at it and turned it around, from being the meek and kind and downright foolish as well, into a dark angel of constructive analysis and criticism and forgiveness all at the same time.

Whitney Houston, rest in peace, I am sure fell down at this hurdle. I speak symbolically of course. She had finally divorced the man who clearly deeply loved her but had been in this dynamic from hell with her for years and that was when she could not cope anymore. She had probably learnt the other motherhood just in time to sort herself out and know she and he were involved in toxic relationship syndrome, but she was still in the illusion of need and so much hurt, to be able to go through the vortex to the other side. I nearly died ten or more times in the last 18 months of my journey and can totally understand how she must have felt. The disappointment and the motherhood which is totally unconscious in us as beings of light and the memories of misuse and abuse and not having served ourselves and the criticisms and unbelievable amount of stupid so called wisdom that is flung the way of any adventurer, anyone who sees the dark and the light all in one day, is enough pressure to kill anyone. That is the most dangerous and precarious stage of the journey and the worst part is that she, I believe in my knowledge now, will be back to live a very similar journey the next time, to make it the next time. 

And how do I know? Because I feel that I didn’t make it last time either. And that is what kept me alive this time. That, and all the incredible knowledge that came my way to prepare my journey in this life. That is a whole other chapter and extraordinary and definitely made the difference. And the nature of my love life, the nature of my particular beast and the nature of my particular journey. All these things, but they are all an extension of the lives of such as Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Marilyn Monroe and so on. The vulnerable. The magical. The beautiful. The High Priestess Sacred Whores and the High Priest Sacred Whores. 

We do live an adventurous life and we do live different lives and the more we can know about those, the more we can survive. And as the evil of the world cut it all out of our vernacular, we have to find it and here I am, as one of the privileged to give it to you. We have just begun to reclaim our knowledge and it will take time and lifetimes to return to the full. But I am having so much fun now after such a miserable life of sheit and hurt and pain and I hope you will too. 

Let’s give it a try. 

What the fuck else is there to do anyway, right? Have sex, get drunk, do drugs, try and escape through all the meaningless activities we can muster? Haven’t we done that for most of our lives? Of course we have. At some point, the vortex has to be reached and the journey has to be made. And like any real and holistic healing, you have to go through the worst, to make it better. That is alchemy and self actualisation in its truth. The spiritual way and the thing about our archetype is that we are deeply spiritual. And while we don’t even know what the fuck that word means, you know I speak the truth because you can feel it in you. The other archetype, the Mars archetype have a different spirituality. Don’t know what it is actually. Let’s say they were the researchers and academics in the temples and we were the practitioners. That is one way of saying it. They are near to spirituality. They have a suitable and knowledgeable fascination and respect for it. But they are not mystics, shamans or practitioners of any kind. They access GOD, The Mother through us. We access GOD directly. 

And while that may be, especially to them, cause for envy and of course, the criticism that we are up our own bottoms with conceit and self importance and outrageous self divinity, we know what it takes to become a mystic and to BE a NATURAL BORN Mystic. We know, even before we know what a mystic is. And we, like Frodo, are the lat people in the world to believe what we truly are. That is why we are who we are. The corruptibles are corruptible. That is why they are who they are and they serve GOD in their way and we will come to that. But for us, because we are here to put ourselves first, this is for us. The Natural Born Mystics. The others can learn from us, admire us or hate us, it doesn’t matter but we are the ones who represent on Earth and we know, or you will know, after I’m done with you, WHAT we represent, how and why. And that is going to make you very honoured and very happy indeed. Whether the others are ever happy with you or me is now immaterial. I don’t give a fuck anymore and that is where I should be and where I hope you will be too. I don’t give a fuck and I am smiling. 

Now, two things. First, to be a mystic is gruelling and self effacing purpose and we know what that means, even before I start officially exploring all of it. Some of it will make you defensive, respond in anger and some of it will make you cry with relief and the acknowledgement that there is actually a reason for all the suffering. Second, GOD, The Mother is much more than the hocus pocus version of God, the Father of religion stupidity. GOD, The Mother, the Universe is us, is GOD. GOD, The Mother, The Universe is a constantly evolving and purifying substance herself. WE, the mystics, are HER experience on Earth. SHE of course is a high love intelligence that we will never even be able to understand, let alone reach. And her angels and helpers and guides and system of love hierarchy is vast and who knows where on that scale of existence we sit and what does it matter. The fact is that like in that wonderful series Charmed which ran for so many years and was a wonderful alternative to the great but deeply misogynistic BBC version of Merlin, of course, the healers/mystics/shamans were all women. With good men along too, unlike Merlin, where, after having watched the series avidly for four seasons, I am now disgusted by the fact that every single ‘baddie’ witch is female. I have not actually seen one good sorcerer yet who is not male. What a load of wank and deeply sad. The actor who plays Merlin is absolutely perfect and my favourite of all humane actors, John Hurt plays the dragon. But I will not love misogyny in a man or in a programme, so fuck it. Give me Charmed instead.

Heirarchy. The fact is that we, the mystics and shamans all serve our purpose to the Divine purpose and the Divine purpose is always moving and always evolving and always ascending itself. This is the process of nature and the process of true spirituality and not the religion crap we’ve been fed for 6000 years or whatever the fuck it is. 

It’s bollocks – literally – and the sooner you forget it, the better. That is re-programming and I can certainly lead the way. It’s what I have been doing for over 15 years now and was my 15 year journey. My heroic journey actually lasted almost 20 years I think but 15 years as a full time job. Job, being the key word. 

There is a reason why those of us who are mystics and shamans are always doing casual jobs and haven’t quite found our way yet and why we have art forms that we are developing but not in the way we want to and why the other archetype, most of all, are always on our backs and pushing us to perform, produce and sell. Fuck them. And tell them to fuck off if you have to, but ignore them completely. They have no idea who we are and worse, they have every idea who we are and they were born, specifically to be the dark and envious hate to our love. Walk away. 

Think about it. If you have been wielding Earth power so successfully for lifetimes and you find out that your spiritual powers will never be the same as the Cinderella Warriors you have downtrodden for 8000 years and that you were ‘just’ the academics and researchers in the Female Wisdom Society, what do you think could be the cause of their envy and belligerent attacks on us as artists in development? Exactly. For years and years and years, we self doubt and doubt our talents and doubt our sanity of course, and they are our shadow side. The dark to our light. The Iago to our Othello. Get rid of them. 

Misogyny and male supremacy and the emotionally unavailable man is just another version of that. No mystery anymore. They are all the shadow of Earth and the shadow part of GOD, The Mother. They are indeed our producers but certainly not in the way we wanted or feel we ever needed. And we were and are right. We DON’T need them. And we finally find out and then they just skulk away eventually and crawl under whatever stone they came out of. Really. No one thought she needed more than me, no one thought she was loved more than me. It was all a lie. There is only one love for me and that is GOD, The Mother. I am a mystic first and foremost and so are you and that means SHE is our family and that is all we need. That is self love. 

It’s never been enough for us to be told for instance that love dependency means we should just forget about relationship and focus on work, right? Exactly. Because there was something else. For years, we beat ourselves up and think, why, oh, why cannot the pursuit of money and power be enough for me? Why can’t I just forget about the depth of life and the depth of love and just be and be a machine of industry like everyone else? Why do I have to be different? Why am I such a respondent of ridicule, why can’t I just perform or produce and just earn a lot of money and just be? 

Because you may be a natural born mystic too. That is why. And that not only means you are one of Earth’s most endangered species, the witch and wizard, you are also extraordinarily celestially important. And we know nothing, not because of us, but because evil has a grip on this world and it has cut off all our knowledge. Which is why we are here, people like me, to go through it first and then tell you all about it. Because you will find out what I have found out. First, that the wealth of knowledge out there and that has always been out there is absolutely, gigantically, ENORMOUS. And that secondly, it is finally, after study, after hard work, after spiritual work, IN YOU. 

Which means that finally, you are untouchable. No evil can viscerally ever change your mind ever again and you will be one of the most powerful advocates of love on Earth with NOTHING that evil can do about it, EVEN IF THEY KILL YOU. 

This is the celestial frontier and this world is ours. We won it, we have been given it by all those who came before us,  we own it and we are it and there is absolutely nothing they can do about it. What they win with, when they win, is through enforcing our cynicism, need for illusion and self doubt. That is their win. Change it and tell them to fuck off too. And you will not only see the QUEENDOM of Heaven, you will BE it. 

Now, to get to that place takes, for a natural born mystic, much more than re-programming. The others might sit back in self righteous indignation and criticise us for being vain, arrogant and mean with our spiritual powers but you and I both know that there is a very important unique journey that we are making and have been making since the day we were born. To be a Natural Born Mystic, means you have to BECOME that mystic in purity, reverence, humility and repentance and peace. To become a Natural Born Mystic, you have to make the mystic journey through hell and you have to be purified to be purified to be pure. We are not just being re-programmed through our own self actualisation study and knowledge, like the others have to, we are doing much much more. We are purifying and being purified to be worthy enough to be the mystics we were born to be. So they can take their envy and they can shove it. 

And you know why I am saying this. We are the archetype, in ignorance, who are called and who call ourselves the tortured souls. The ones in agony, the ones who are miserable, the ones who are often sick or disabled or indeed with a drug habit, food habit, drink habit, illusionary habits of all kinds and we are the ones who get into trouble through these things in all sort of ways. Spiritual ignorance means that we actually think there is something wrong with both ourselves and the universe for this being the case and everyone else, kindly or not, reinforces this truth that WE are the problem and that WE have to sort ourselves out, but yes, poor you. 

Now, there are truths in all of that but none of them, as they have been said. The first thing to realise is that NO ONE else, other than a fellow mystic in training or a Natural Born Mystic graduate can help you with. There is such an extreme spiritual ignorance in this world that there is no point, wasting your time being out there with ‘the ordinaries’ and trying to find out these mystic truths. Which means, secondly, that you have to accept who you are and that this means you are not one of the people and that you will never be one of the people. I know you are not listening to any of this because I wouldn’t have listened either. I write it and share it because in moments of despair, you may be guided to this sentence and while, tearing your hair out, you will be appeased by these words.

I know the heart and mind of a mystic in training and empathise and sympathise greatly. And hey, maybe we can even begin to find some humour in it too. 

We are in agony as mystics in training. We are not only in agony, we are also in a complete desert of wisdom or help for us. And that makes us very angry. What also makes us angry and what the bulk of our purification is – and you know by now, that I am not talking about ordinary purification, so don’t even think of comparing yourself to ‘the ordinaries’ – what the bulk of our purification is, really does symbolically go back to the Garden of Eden, as John Milton described so beautifully in Paradise Lost. I am not talking about the bible or the Koran or the torah. Never read those books ever again, if you have. I am talking about the artists who have interpreted the folk tales of hocus pocus so beautifully and the versions you and I can understand more. 

I am talking about the esoteric and philosophical interpretations of the folk tales of stupidity that can truly help us, just like all great art. I am talking about narrative. The symbolism of which I know that you love and understand as much as I do and if not as much than in your way and to great levels of inner thought and inner feeling and inner wisdom already. 

We need to get over our anger. Our anger at being on Earth, our anger at being the representatives and our anger at GOD, The Mother, when we think it is God, The Father, who’s a mean bastard and a projection of our tribe fathers and the tribe and the powers that be. We need to get over that and we need to learn from scratch how to be with GOD, The Mother and we need to reclaim the same mystic gene that we have been given, to be mystics. And this does NOT come naturally. It is a crucifying and hard process of self examination and self abnegation and self appreciation and self humility and it takes years and years and years. And this is what we have to accept that we are here for. That the soul is our frontier, the inner work of life is our purpose and that we are the spirituals on Earth and we are not going to be allowed to do anything else until we have purified because our deepest wish is to just that and nothing else until we have done that.

Mystics like anyone else, have egos. Ego has to be purified. Ego has to be transformed and ego has to be ejected in its mortal husk version, from the body. I saw mine happen three years ago and I am now soul with superego, as Jung defined. (accuracy) And it almost killed me ten times over just in one day. That is a mystic’s task on Earth and nothing else and nothing less and nothing more. We have to purify and then we have to go to war. But before we go to war, we have to purify. And that is the mystic path and until you commit to that, there is nothing else you can do. 

Now, I am not going to rah, rah, rah and say, get on with it. I am saying that the terror we walk around with for most of our lives, while ‘the ordinaries’ happily shit on everyone around them and wonder around in semi conscious stupidity, is real. We should be terrified. Because we are simply being prepared for our work. We live and we do many different jobs and we meet many different kinds of people and we see more and more suffering and we wonder more and more how we are going to help it and then our own journey finally begins and rage we did not even know we possessed comes to the surface, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and in every other way. This is when a mystic type often gets sick. A disability I was born with, that was corrected at birth, enough, just ‘happened’ to return at the exact time my mystic journey began. I think of other mystics in training I see now, and can see their illnesses, even if they are not literally ill. 

Weight, the fascism of the Western world, being one such example. Weight I have now found out, is rage. Rage is responsible for every imbalance in a mystic’s body. Pure, catatonic, beyond rage, rage. And this rage is 8000 years old. Because we, the mystics, the female mystics in particular, the Sacred Whores, the High Priestesses and the Super Mother Mystics, ARE the experience of GOD, The Mother. That is who we are. And we are the ones who literally separated from GOD, The Mother, in order to go and find out what we were not, so we could find out what we are, and so we could return to GOD, The Mother. 

We are a completely ignorant spiritual people, thanks to that same dark. That is what makes us angry. We are also angry because we were the ones who were burnt. We are also angry, because we were the ones who were enslaved. For 8000 years by men and the female ‘ordinaries’. We are also angry because we became slaves and remained so for 8000 years and we have never been able to take responsibility for it and this is key. This is the key and the key to self actualisation and why many of you will run a thousand miles rather than make this journey. I hear you. I tried to. 

And who knows. Maybe, the mystic in training comes here for five or six lifetimes, before she is finally ‘nemesied’ into healing. Maybe I came here five times before with the same purpose and ran. Because this life, it was waiting and it was waiting BIG. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

And God Created Woman. A Self Portrait. Amera Ziganii Rao Photography 

AMERA ZIGANII RAO

A PROFILE 

FEMINIST AND HUMAN RIGHTS, METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHER. WRITER. MENTALIST AND ARTIST

AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™

The Super Sacred Father Brother Lover™ 

The Return To The Source. Ascension.

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. When we were giants. All of us. When you did more than rape me.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Neo Feminist™, Post Tribe Social Reformer™ and Sacred Sexualist™. Human Rights Healer. Metaphysical Philosopher, Writer, Spiritual Intelligence Teacher, Hierophant (Interpreter of The Universe) and Mentalist Self Actualiser.

I can help you grow power, from nothing.

Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Hierophant™ and Sacred Pimp Warrior Protector, Brother Lover™ Society. The kings and queens of old. Angels and Sorcerers together in each of themselves and in the other. The Wizard life. Forever. Living and loving from The Source. Sourcery, Carlos Castaneda first said. I'll say it again. Sourcerers together. Living a life worth living. At last.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Re Writing The Human Race 

Ascension therefore, is as political as spirituality can get. You have to stand up for Eve. Adam has to stand up for Eve. Publicly and completely. The Return to a new Atlantis takes nothing less than that. No one is ascending without the women. Not this time. Because this time, it’s real ascension. Not the male made version. Heaven is on earth. Heaven on earth, is honouring Eve. And honouring The Great Mother Universe that she comes from. To serve you. Honour her. Treat her as you treat yourself. As monarchy. You have to accept FEMALE power, in female. Female POWER. Honour that, you honour Eve. Dishonour that and you get nothing. Ascension cannot be achieved without total equality. It is the original state. Soul. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Witches are healers. Witches are the Love Healers and SOURCErers of The Lost World, when we were the giant warriors. We were good and so were were you. 'The World of Men'. The Tribe of Misogyny and Bourgeois™.

Gives us all a bad name. And poisons all hearts.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Feminist Lolita Intellectuals™. You lucky man. A place at the table, a place at the Executive Table. That's all. The rest is easy.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

THE EVOLUTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS: APPLIED CONSCIOUSNESS™, NEO FEMINISM™, METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHY & SACRED SEXUALISM™. POST TRIBE SOCIAL REFORM™. POWER IS THE NEW LOVE. FREEDOM + HOPELESSNESS + SEX. NIHILISM FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE™ THE LOST KNOWLEDGE™ THE WIZARDRY OF BEING™ POLITICAL SPIRITUALITY™ TRUE NEW LOVE. BEYOND THE REVOLUTION™

SOCIAL REFORM. THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND LOVE. SHAMANISM. PHILOSOPHY. TRUE (UNIVERSAL) LOVE. NEO FEMINISM™. ANTI MISOGYNY. THE ARTIST'S WAY. WIZARDRY. TRUE INTELLECTUALISM™. WISDOM. GONZO SPIRITUALITY. NIHILISM. SEX. SOUL. GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE™. SPIRITUAL EXISTENTIALISM™. THE VOID OF CREATION™. ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™. HELL. SUFFERING. GROWTH. ASCENSION. LOVE. LIFE. DEATH. WARLORDS OF LIGHT™ TRUE LOVE & TRUE SEX. THE POST TRIBE SOCIETY™

The Company.

Writer, Speaker and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. A programme of learning that is specifically about one particular kind of woman. And one particular kind of man. The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the true society that they come from and the one they, in particular, she can and has to return to and that anyone can join her and him in. This is about Paradise on Earth.

This is about The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity that is for all as a result of their healing and in particular, hers. This is about the kind of woman who is at the bottom of the pile in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society™, the norm, the conventional world and the world of the Tribe. This is about the kind of man who is next in line from the bottom. The sensitive man and the female chattel. The High Priestess and High Priest of a profane society, that has long forgotten who they are.

This is about being at the bottom of the pile, for the forgotten and strangled shamans, and for her, the story of escape. Abused by her family, her friends, her men, her whole society, by the very nature of who she is and who they are and what has happened on this Earth. It is about women of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about men of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about the Cinderellas of this world. It is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™. Who she is and how, loving her is the secret to Paradise on Earth and how we have been living a lie for 8000+ years. A lie of male (non High Priest) religion with a male ‘God’ and with Patriarchs and Patriarchal types and Matriarchs and Matriarchal types ruling over us and making our lives hell, all in the name of family, the tribe and the way things are and should remain. Hate, fascism and profanity. A sick society that vilifies, more than anyone else, the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, just because it was told to. A sick society that calls her Eve. A sick society that has forgotten who we all are, let alone the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™. This is about us remembering and knowing who WE are.

This is a programme of healing for the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, to take them and particularly, her, from monstrous levels of low self esteem and lack of self knowledge, back to herself and it is a programme for all those who truly want to love her, and indeed, him. This is a programme for the greatest carers on Earth, who are vilified, destroyed, ridiculed, ignored, abused, used, misused and hated for being everything that those who would steal from us are not. This is a programme to turn Cinderellas into The Sacred Whore High Priestesses and for anyone who wants to love her or live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. And this is a programme to turn sensitive men into Sacred Whore High Priests™ and for anyone who wants to love him and live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and High Priest Society. Love, humanity, Spirit and sex. This is a programme to reverse 8000+ years of witch burning, women hating and healer ridicule. This is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and all those who would love her and live by her values.

This is about the chance for Paradise on Earth. This is a programme for the most beautiful, kind hearted, wounded women and men on this planet. A programme of how to implement a system of how to beat life, how to survive life and how to resurrect from the grief that is a true life. Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, ‘happy’, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. How to turn grief into creation and survive and thrive, despite all the shit, all the pain and all the hurt. How to live in a world of madness, hollowness and cruelty and how to be a winner. How to stand up for oneself and to take back the power that has been stolen from anyone with heart, Spirit and sex. The art and science of Alchemy.

This is a programme, based on my scholarly and non scholarly work over 15 years (so far), if not for my whole life, and my extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of relative bliss, and above all, the right to be. The programme and the courses and my speaking and indeed my forthcoming book, will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. Who the Sacred Whore High Priestess™ is and why she is here. And who the Sacred Whore High Priest™ is. Why we are here. Who we are and what we are and why we are. The beauty and glory of the truth. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the future.

My first book of consciousness, my first book of the spiritual politics of humanity, of authentic power and of self love and strength. A comprehensive series of online courses, live events and audio and visual material. Books, live events, CDs and DVDs. And one on one personal empowerment consultations. The Amera Ziganii Rao Method of Change™. The right to be and the way to have the right to be. And indeed, how to maintain the will to live without love. How to BE unconditional, self sufficient, self caring, self love. The right to be and the will to be and the unparalleled success that comes with that. The Lost Knowledge™. HOW to live. And how to heal others, the profane and the sick and the soulless. The others. My Business and that of any Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and Sacred Whore High Priest™, is Human Rights, The Right to a Sexual Society, Self Actualisation and Freedom.

My Business is To Overthrow Fascism, in the Home and in the Country. My business is also mastering destiny. Overthrowing the ultimate 'fascism'. Our journey on Earth and The Return To The Source. Our healing, our ascension and our redemption. Fate. The daily crucifixions of a true life, the challenges and the fury of being healers and people of love on a planet like Earth.

Submitting to the journey to liberate and evolve oneself, through following one's heart, however much heartbreak and devastation it leads to on the long long long journey to freedom and then the longer journey to happiness. 'Long Road to Freedom', as Nelson Mandela says. My business is always taking risks, never giving up and making the endless sacrifices it takes to become whole. Enlightenment, Nirvana and then Parinirvana and beyond. My business is pain. My business is bliss.

My business is seeing the truly glory of Spirit on Earth. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™ and all that it is. Spirit, humanity, sex and love again at last. And the end of our legacy as either servants or witches or unpaid carers or indeed, ignored mistresses, other women, other men even, and the weirdos that are at the bottom of society. This is our world and it is time to take it back and I can show you how. And that makes my life, truly, worth living.

I want you to feel the way I do. Alive, with the right to be and the belligerence to exist in this profane and male ‘God’ led world of male supremacy, female supremacy, domestic, casual fascism, tribe rules from hell, with beautiful and kind, love intelligence laden, female and male Cinderella warriors at the bottom, caring for everyone else and getting nothing but hatred, ridicule and isolation for it. The meek are already inheriting the Earth and I can show you how.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They told you I and my kind were dictators and that you were slaves, when all we had done was love you, honour you as companions and above all, we had let you just live.

We were the holy communers, the ones who gave birth to human beings, the leaders of society, the creators of society, the vehicles of Divinity on Earth and the channels of wisdom. The ones who looked after everything and the ones who built everything and ran everything, because we could. And because we loved it. We are and were the force of creation. And you loved us and you lived.

But they told you that you ‘deserved’ power too and that we were the ones standing in your way. And you believed them. The oldest ‘divide and rule’ strategy of hate in history and it worked. They used it and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. You had to give up sex, love, magic and your own spiritual gifts and you burnt, destroyed and violated me for 8000 years.

The world calls that male supremacy. And indeed, family supremacy, Matriarchal supremacy and supremacy of the material world and all who believe in it. Men and women like you. When all that you are are slaves to a reptile force to generate hate energy for them to live and thrive and vampire the human race. The puppets of a hate force, that chose to destroy women and men like me, for hate to grow, so they could live. You bought it and it worked. The greatest fraud in the history of the world.

I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They taught you that my mind was evil. My mind, my sex, my body and my ways of life.

The humanity, the glory of sexuality and the glory of creation and creativity and the glory of Divinity in each and every one of us. Our souls. They taught you that human beings are separate from Divinity, that sex was wrong and that women who have minds of their own are uppity slaves. They vilified us but much much worse than that, they destroyed your relationship with all that is unseen, all that we honour and love.

They taught you to hate what is really God. By teaching you to hate us, you hated all that is good in yourselves. They taught you to hate the light. They taught you to kill us. The daughters of The Universe. The High Priestesses of God. The Spiritual Mothers. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Avatars of The Universe™. The Sacred Army of Love on Earth.

The Shamans, the Mystics and the Communers. The Hierophants.

They called me Eve and blamed me for the downfall of the human race and created the awesome profanity that is religion. Of men, by men and from men. Of reptiles, by reptiles and from reptiles. Christianity, Islam and Judaism and every other philosophy around the world was poisoned. There are no female spiritual leaders left. It is all profanity. They chose you to represent them because they wanted to divide us and they did. They told you to hate me. And you believed them. Now I am back and I forgive you.

I forgive you because I can. Because I came here to save your soul. And because I finally know who I am. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past. I came here to return your soul to The Source. God, The Mother, The Universe. To return you to what is really God. Because I love you. And because She loves you and your kind, whatever you have done.

Whatever you have done to me and whatever you have done to Her. And most of all, whatever you have done to yourself. We forgive you. This is your redemption. Your freedom and your ascension. We are here to save your soul.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

You bought the Sacred Whore like a piece of meat and you called that a wife. Your trophy wives. Your dancing girls. Your chattel and serving girls. Your piece of beauty. You bought us like you would cattle. Then you called it wives. Now you call it prostitution. The High Priestesses of the real God. You bought us to buy God, The Mother, The Universe and you caged us, separated us from our Divine gifts and skills in the Temple and drove us mad and then lost interest in us, because we had no gifts left, no excitement, no hunter in ourselves and no hope or joy left. Then you just called us mad and discarded us. You called us evil and you call love obedience, even though it had already killed us. You moved into our Temples and you played with the divination tools and thought you communed. The destruction of Atlantis was your gift.

You stole us from God, The Mother, The Universe and you tried to usurp us. You vilified us, enslaved us and you still envy us today. You call it intuition. You might want to think about this when you hate us out of your jealousy. The mystic gene means physical tortuous pain and taking on the empathy of the human race. All their pains, evils and dark thoughts. We see and feel everything. We make crucial sacrifices to be near Spirit and the unseen and we go without for years. To be shaman is not glamour. I make it glamour. To be shaman is a specific Samurai existence, ascetic and harsh. We commune to be guides. And you take that and you shame yourselves because you just want the meat. You didn’t just want the meat. You wanted our beauty of spirit, our personalities and our love and kindness. And you destroyed them, because you caged us and called us wife.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

The High Priestess Sacred Whores, the High Priests and the true protectors. Those who do not have the gift like either the High Priests or especially like the highest of all, the High Priestess Sacred Whores but who honour, protect and facilitate them to the world. Who honour the Shaman Sacred Whores of this world most of all, and who know who they are and who they are not. Who know the difference, who do not envy and who protect and love the representatives of Spirit, GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE, on Earth. Who honour their wisdom and who honour the latent Shaman in themselves too and who honour the communing ability of the High Priestess Sacred Whores. The non violators. Our only friends. The New Society exists. It is called Enlightenment. It is called Love. It is The Holy Grail.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

The master race. It's all a lie. You are brought up to be a despot king and it is only your sister who ever tells you that you have become a pratt. The master race is all a lie. There are no kings in an equal world. Your father was misinformed. What he brought you up to be was a killer. Pure and simple. A misogynist. A modern misogynist. A polite killer.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

I enter the magical hours of pure feeling, pure thought, pure imagination and I think and I write and I 'mysticise' the Universe. I escape at will, the truth of my humanless, Samurai solitude, and I pursue the truth of love in myself and in everyone else. I am philosopher. I am shaman. I am alone. I frontier the Soul to be spirit on Earth.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Amera Ziganii Rao is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social, cultural and spiritual commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her Sacred Whore High Priestess Society consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is in her forties and lives in London.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life, in this insane existence called The Universe. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Amera Ziganii Rao’s Well Endowed Mind. Mikal Konali. Yush Magazine

Any day now an unknown writer will burst onto the scene, amidst a media frenzy proclaiming "overnight success". That person could very well be Amera Ziganii Rao. And the success would have been decades in the making...

Amera Ziganii Rao is no longer a journalist and has not been for 14 years. She had a melt down and walked away to find a new path in life.

Her world was formerly the media and she covered news in print, TV and radio, for The Voice newspaper during the 1980s, the BBC in the 1990s, and then on cable TV before the digital revolution exploded, consigning the rest to history.

She re-imagined herself as an esoteric master, teacher, healer, alchemist, mystic, self-taught writer, dramatist and photographer.

Or, as she puts it, she developed a “suitably mythological level of existence and one that has been deeply visceral and painful, physically and emotionally.” 

Freedom, sedition and self-responsibility are among the themes that like her. However, it is her writing which sets her apart.

Amera simply had to explore the agony of “true love” and leave behind “the bourgeois and conformity tribe mentality we are all imprisoned by.” Essentially hers is a journey of discovery, of freeing the mind into the heart and soul. A profound journey in a shallow world, which she feels, is “worth every step of it.” Although, we imagine, it is not a journey for the squeamish or faint hearted.

She is also an attractive, well-endowed woman – points not lost on visitors to her blog. “You have a busy brain and an impressive cleavage,” remarked Vivien Loh, British TV Drama Creative. “Very interesting and fascinating,” an American professor chimed in. “Love how your mind works.”

With credentials and accolades like these, we simply had to stop her and ask the inevitable 20 Questions…

Name

Amera Ziganii Rao

Place

London.

Why Featured

Promising unpublished writer, bags of creative talent, askew angle on finding true love and other visceral vicissitudes. You what? Precisely!

01. Profession

Photographer/Writer

02. Age Region

40s

03. Birthday

February 4

04. Right or left handed

Right handed

05. Philosophy on family life

Elusive.

06. Who's been your greatest inspiration in life?

The brave and the free. Those of sex and the soul.

07. What current world issue are you most unhappy with? And why?

The Patriarchal Womb Stealing Toilet Tribe Society that affects the whole world. The sickness of female dehumanisation. It affects everything and everyone. Whether it is the so called Whore and Madonna syndrome, or war, poverty, cruelty or slavery.

08. If you could how would you bring about world peace?

Consciousness, esoteric knowledge and inner ascension. If we all healed ourselves, there would be no war. Evil would die because we wouldn’t listen anymore.

09. Which one piece (or series) of creative works (past or present) are you most impressed with? And why?

Tennessee Williams' plays and Picasso’s art. Simple. The brave and the free. The sex and the soul.

10. How much does your religion influence the kind projects you do or will consider doing?

I left religion at the age of eight. God has no religion. Mahatma Gandhi.

11. Are there any topics you would definitely not consider doing a movie on?

Cockroaches or any insect.

12. What percentage (100%, 50%, 25%, etc.) of your soul would you be willing to sell in order to be successful?

0%

13. What personal sacrifices have you had to make it to where you are today?

I’ve lost everything and everyone. I have walked away from fascism and mediocrity and of course the Patriarchal Toilet Tribe Society, my whole life.

14. What's the best advice you would give to anyone wanting to make it in their chosen career?

It’s not a choice. You do it or you don’t. The art, the freedom, the true love, the sex and the heart.

15. What's your favourite overseas holiday destination? Or, which overseas destination would you really love to visit for holiday? And why?

Cuba. I've been trying to get there for years. 

16. When you leave this planet how would you like to be remembered?

I stood for integrity, freedom, courage and kindness. I tried to help as many people as possible to feel good about themselves.

17. What do you admire most in a man?

Courage, individuation and the ability to leave the Patriarchal Womb Stealing Toilet Tribe Society.

18. Would you stay with a man who hit you?

Metaphorically or literally, all men (of one archetype) hit all women (of the other archetype). It is part of the journey, to liberate from the Patriarchal Womb Stealing Toilet Tribe Society.

19. Female circumcision, for or against?

The purest evil of the world. Obviously against. What a question.

20. Who would play you in a film of your life?

Jean Simmons, Elizabeth Taylor or Vivien Leigh or Maureen O’Hara as was. Today, Julianne Moore, Angela Bassett or Kate Winslet.

Mikal Konali. Yush Magazine 

Copyright and intellectual property rights are serious issues. And legally protected. Please do not reproduce my work anywhere without due credit and obviously, never for financial gain. 'Big Sister' is watching you! Other than that, please continue to enjoy my original work and the work of (credited) others, for free, while I work on using my material in further professional formats. Thank you for your interest and support.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art

Thank you to outside source for original