And God Created Woman ll Pt Vll. A Self Portrait. Amera Ziganii Rao Photography
Writings :: The Letter Series :: Ascension Discourse on Love :: The Ascended Life lll. Amera Ziganii Rao
The New Life. The New Miracle. The Old Grief. The Old Peace. Amera Ziganii Rao
Committed with gratitude and wonder at the new life emerging, the new love emerging. Feeling grief but peace in relation to the old. Feeling self conscious too.
As I look at the past two years in particular, I see the pain of anguish that I have been relaying, not without arrogance, rage, bullying even and frankly, some bad behaviour. I see also that this is no time for self abnegation as I was asked to deliver so much and find out so much and Hierophant so much and decipher so much, under the most extraordinary stresses I could have imagined, in this bizarre bunker flat, I just 'happened' to land in, with its degrees of madness all around. The undiagnosed apparently sane kind. The real madnesses of the world. Ego, which drove my own non psychotic superego into the regression of war and pain and despair. The wounded soul indeed. The Anuncier/Disir is human too and she is also a vehicle of delivery. Everything was meant to be said and I am not without shock, as to what had to be said. I am a peacemaker who was asked to go to war. I clearly do war very well too. The Light had to integrate the Dark, after clearing the Dark in herself. Fascinating esoterically. Traumatic emotionally, to say the least.
I stupidly thought that being helped in my pathetic life for the first time by the state, for my disability, was a rest. Hah. It was especially to focus on the story full time, so that the truth could finally be found. I am in post trauma shock for real. But also at peace for the first time too.
I feel, Cuba, that we have to be very disciplined now and very kind to ourselves too. Everything was sincere, I know that. But clearly, to unravel your truth (and the truly cruel non connection and non contact) has been mind blowing and utterly excruciating, even though, frankly, I suppose I couldn't have handled it before now, anyway. And you have been sincerely split in your 'whore and Madonna' (said factually, not judgmentally, seeing as this is a valid method of love in this world, even if its reasons are terrible). In other words, I know how much you have loved me and I always will. It seems that I ('I) healed you out of your first marriage for you to choose another and not me. And also, me.
We are also talking about two different things which is not said with anything other than fact. Being in the psychosis of the ego of (misogyny and need and selfishness and conditional love) dependency (the sickness of love and human) is a very different matter from how bourgeois one is in one's attitudes, life and creative development. In other words, who one is. And how that is no one's fault and nothing negative. Just sad. Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™ is available for everyone, not least the Wizard class of both Lemuria and Atlantis. But we are all at different levels and whatever made us connect, we were in tune. And then, we were not.
Not going to say too much yet, as I know we are all overwhelmed. And grief is grief. What's the point of analysing it too soon. Plenty of time for that.
New York, you are my miracle. With you, I don't feel like some out of control Hekate monster who should be sitting in the parlour instead. I am trying to find trust and an innocence of being again, so that I can approach you new and in beauty. After a lifetime of facing the real brick wall of Patriarchal abuse in this world, such a concentration of it, middle and upper middle class though it might have been the whole way - debatably much worse than any other - alongside the truth that I happen to be from the worst patriarchal culture in the world, that of 'Asia', I feel like a nervous wreck.
It would be easy for me to now sink into despondency and weakness and frankly, give up on all that I am supposed to do, and all that I have been working on since the age of eight, if not four, especially in front of you, for fear of loss or fear of all that I have been through. The absolute conditional 'love' that means I have been denied, rejected and hated for four years by the first love of my life. He supports me, but only at a distance. I don't want distance. I want rampant, mind, body and soul, intimacy and connection and togetherness. I could be terrified right now, that I won't get it, just because I am a whole woman. I could hold myself back now for the same reason. The great news about a huge therapy journey like this is that all the darkness is brought into the light. The bad news is that that cleared and exposed underbelly of sabotage and self sabotage is now overwhelming. Because you are not physically holding my hand yet.
But I am going to trust your friendship and love and fraternity, as Simone de Beauvoir specifically points to as being the central problem between men and women; the lack of fraternity. The sex object and nurse maid and everything else demand. I am going to trust that you are not going to believe that I don't need you, as every other man has decided, because I have shelves of books around me.
I am going to trust you. Because I know you, as you know me. We know each other from before time.
And I know that you want to know me mind, body and soul. You want the whole relationship too now. You have made your own journey and you want the Hierophant as much as you want me. You want them because they answer you. And because you know you can help me. And not just from a distance.
So, self autonomy in teamwork. The new love. The new life.
And as I say, as I look back at the pain expressed, especially over the past two years, I feel self conscious but I know that in the context of my story, it makes total sense. I would like to return to my true self now however and not be the fighting banchee anymore. As said before, I have been in a state of shock for four years and it is time to begin to come to terms with all that is earth and all that I have Hierophanted and all that I have experienced. On the other hand, why should I. My real friend, you, I believe, knows how much pain I have been in and am in, as a woman, as a High Priestess and as a frustrated and prevented from achievement artist, even if my work could not have been done before now, because it is about The Great Mother Universe, human rights and love.
And you know therefore, how much I need you and what I need. My fraternity if you like, is the ability to let you know without shock, rage and condemnation. And just having the ability to see you as someone new. Thanks to the past four years and indeed, Cuba's ability to carry my pain as he meted out the abuse, I can do that now. And therefore, can be me as well as the Priest. That feels really nice. Hope you think so too.
And hope you want to move fast. But I leave that to you. We are all in surrender to our souls after all. We are all leaving behind lives (or dreams in my case) we once loved. We vehicle The Universe. I just hope it's soon.
Lots of love to both of you. The Letter Series continues. Why not. Let's do it our way. But hopefully, with the intention, to spill over into life. I yearn for it. I yearn for you.
AZR © 2014
Daily Update. The Courage To Enter The Void. AZR
You know, I saw the headline yesterday about George Clooney and his lady and I thought, what a strange life I have entered and been asked to remain in in this bizarre and uncomfortable way. I feel like someone out of a Jane Austen novel. I am apparently, to make a 'great match'. What a very female life I am destined for. With all that I have been through and all that I am working on professionally, this seems to be my fate and a fate that dominates everything I do.
Whether it is to stand up with a famous man, or an unfamous but equally powerful man. How strange.
It just tickles me really, other than the sincere bid for love.
So, I am fine. But I feel very odd. So, I am going to release the whole thing for now. I don't want to get into some emotional pleading for what seems to be the truth of a Cinderella life, even if my interpretation is so esoteric and I hope, profound. It's still just a woman trying to 'get' a powerful man.
That makes me feel odd. That is the only word I can find today. Am I too proud? For sure. Is that correct? I would say so!
So, I am going to release all of it, be open to any 'approaches' from powerful men, and just get on with my miserable, lost and bewildered life for now. Total surrender and acceptance of depression, and whatever this shit is. Because to me, that is what it is now. I am not cut out for any of this. It's not what I had in mind. To be stuck in a tower with a monster while Prince Charming, whoever he is, purifies his Lemurian heart.
I am sure there is validity in it but it makes me feel like Asian chattel after all. Which is so weird. And at the moment, unwanted chattel. I have a huge mind and apparently, this is what it is to be used for. Odd.
Anyway, nothing against either of you, but I am no longer comfortable with any of it. Sacred Whore for sure. But in what way has to be examined.
In other words, I intend to do nothing. This is an incubation period for me now. To wait to see what life brings me in my work, and in my personal life. Both are up in the air, both are between worlds and both are as confused, complicated and unsatisfactory as each other. There is at least correlation in that.
Incubation, depression and rest. And of course, poverty, obscurity and awful neighbours and no sound insulation and all the usual things of an ordinary and non great life. No place to work. No place to live. No place to love. I am tired of fighting for my right to be every day. Even in my own home. I am doing nothing. I have no enthusiasm left for anything. I incubate now as a way of life.
The 'Maximus' (Ridley Scott's Gladiator) in me is apparently a Cinderella waiting to be loved. Despite everything, despite everything I have done. Why, I do not know. Why even bother I don't know. It is my purpose. And I hate it. And so would you. So would you.
Life will let me know when to move forward again. I have absolutely no idea left. The only thing I can do is to be proud of myself. Proud of all that I have done. And incubate until life is ready for me. In the tower.
Peace and love.
AZR © 2014
In other words, I saw Roman Polanski's The Pianist last night. And that is how I feel. I saw that film eight years ago and was horrified. This time, I related to every single scene. And therefore, I can only enter my life now with the same grace. And wait for the day when the war is finally over. That is my courtship life. The Pianist.
Whatever other women go through in life, that is mine. I don't know why and I probably know all the whys. My job is to stay alive. Until the war is over. And my 'great match' is ready. And I have to believe that it will really be worth it. I struggle with that now. I have gone through too much. I have to find grace. But I blame no one. You are who you are. Men. And of course, Lemurians. In a Lemurian world. And I am an Atlantean Elder Monarch. Still waiting, for some reason, to be loved. And apparently, until then, I get nothing. Nothing at all. That has nothing to do with me whatsoever. Incubation. All I can do. The answers will come. And apparently, one of you.
Yours, Cinderella.
AZR © 2014
Cinderella and also 'Hurricane', Mandela and everyone else. And I have to remember several things to keep me going every day. First, that I am on a Prophet purification journey. Companions to the goddess means you are my executioners and companions and saviours at the same time. Whether anyone comes for me or not. I am just being taken into higher and higher levels of high compassion, purity of heart and The Universal Mind. Second, I chronicle everything and this is clearly my purpose. To show maybe on a metaphorical level, if not literal - even though I am sure there are many women who have lived and are living the same stupid life I am living - what happens to women, public school educated or not, primed for success or not, brought up by serious minded awesome women like my teachers or not, ambitious women or not - I never wanted to bid for a 'great match' in my entire life like some Austen heroine or indeed, like a 'golddigger' - and third, apparently I am bidding for a companion and ally. A friend who will apparently be a facilitator, because I will finally have a place to work and indeed the love and support to work and live and to share hope and empowerment with others.
I think that was the plan. Fourth, it will be your salvation too. But fifth, old souls is not actually a glamorous term. It means that one has done lots of time on this stupid planet and now, the healing has to be done, for ascension to the final life and then off this planet for good. Sixth, World Ascension is about the reform of all that is fascism. You. Misogyny is fascism, just like any other.
I know the incubations of the creative life. So, that, mixed with this endless war for love - a war I have no interest in being in anymore and one that I have had no interest in being in, for a very long time - means the stagnation of nothing. And the will to die. I worked on my own apathy for ten straight years before meeting Cuba. I do not have a problem with apathy for that reason. All my problems are external. And they are apparently down to you. Both of you, whichever of you is my destiny. And depending, frankly, on how much either of you will have to be forced into it, by The Universe. Because that is what it feels like right now. If I am a reluctant prophet, you two - I know you have just joined, New York, but don't tell me you have not lived the same kind of life - are reluctant men. You just fantasise. You don't actually like being men or indeed real sex, real love, real companionship or real intimacy. Otherwise, nothing would stop you. The ability to love is based on the will to love. The more the will to love, the better the ability becomes. I ain't seen nothing yet and I have been forced to try for years.
On the other hand, Cuba could have been the obstacle that was meant to kill me and New York could be the friend who saves me and blah, blah, blah. On it goes. I also saw Lone Sherfig's An Education last night about the journalist Lynn Barber. Is that what you have done to me Cuba and now I am back at work and life? I don't know. Again, just thousands of questions, prison time and waiting for a destiny that I cannot even care about anymore, that has turned into the Russian liberation in Poland.
Courtship indeed. The Pianist.
And then, on an even more profound level, as I found when I began to research and commune the real histories of the world, the HERstories of the world. I think it's someone like me, or me who was the original Cinderella from what I remember. When I can be bothered, have the mental capacity to focus and am feeling less in pain - my physical pain is heightened by emotional pain and also exacerbates the emotional pain too - I will check it out again. This is vast, deep and makes me want to die.
Purification is crucifixion. You are doing your job well. I am ascending and ascending and ascending. Maybe that is your only job. To companion the goddess into the highest ascension.
Those are the things that keep me going. Because I will not die at your hands. Nothing is worth that.
Other than that, sure, we are all doing our best. What a fucking tragedy life really is. Power in the hands of the weak and corrupt and slow. No power in the hands of those who should have it. And those who deserve it. Earth is a planet of evil. That is the proof.
Which is why my purification can be all that matters in the end. If my destiny is real, my prophet and communicator and healer destiny. Then the more work done on it the better. I ain't no false pope. I am the real thing. That takes work. And crucifixion. To show the filth and evil of your world. And of course to show my utter refusal to lose my humanity. Dignity in the face of love Nazism. The madness of men. You.
AZR © 2014
And don't get me wrong. None of that is really criticism. More, dialectics. You are in self crucifixion duty. I am in outer crucifixion duty. Same thing. Different levels. My self crucifixions were ten years long. I was really good at them. Which is why I ascended so fast. I am an Atlantean Elder. You are Lemurian Elders. Slower, but just as much potential, in theory. Which is why you are to ascend. At least one of you. Your job is inner crucifixion. Mine is now outer, to carry you. And of course, to teach from eventually, even if I am eighty when that happens. The best teachers are those who have done it themselves. Which is what makes a prophet. We are essentially political animals and spiritual teachers. It is the evil of your world that makes us prophets. The persecution that makes us political and the spiritual in ourselves that makes us spiritual, the shamanic torture of the Japanese female experience for instance, as Naomi Ozaniec taught us. The writer, speaker and philosopher and psycho analyst is a prophet. Our greatness makes us that instead of dead prisoners. A prophet Marilyn archetype if you like. One who survives. And one who doesn't die. One who works to bring in the new world in personally. One who then works to bring in the new world professionally. And what is that new world? Unity. Unity between man and woman. Unity between Atlantis and Lemuria. Unity in this toilet of a godless world. Your job is inner crucifixion. Mine is done. My work is outer crucifixion. To live in your prison. For now. And all for unity. The Light healing the Dark. You.
AZR © 2014
And also, finally, for now, this; eventually I will pick myself up again, after this three years of pure hell. If not four. Three in this bunker of an evil pressure cooker flat. But four, fighting against the evil, sickness and selfishness and cowardice and inability of man. That I should hope for and believe in too. For now, I am shattered, battered and almost dead on my feet. I should remember that this too will pass. So, no pressure for you, and you. Something will finally shift. And maybe, one of you will finally have the ability to love too.
But at least I can work on getting back to work. And give myself the time to recover. And continue to write for us too. Incubation. For eventual action again. And total self determination alone, if required. That I can do too.
That will do too. 'An Education' may be all that it was about. Who cares. I just want something to move.
AZR © 2014
Which actually just means giving up on both of you and any love destiny I was ever to have. What will be, will be as they say. I am in recovery now, in incubation and interested only in my work. The only thing that has ever worked for me, other than the years of obstruction as I will now call them. The years of my twin soul. So, I release it all, recover from the 'Pianist' years and work to ending the war myself.
And enjoy giving up. And writing no more on this website for now. I do the book next. A long project. At is bloody well should be. I've only prepared for it for 42 years. And seen it all.
Now, I move to speak. To analyse the carnage that is your world. And I willingly will do it alone.
The rest can come if it wants. I am no longer watching. I intend creativity consciousness and wealth consciousness and healer consciousness and every other kind. Every other kind other than unity with another and love. I can afford to no longer believe in it. I've seen it all. And delivered all I was supposed to.
And ended up in this shithole. The world of men. My crucifixions are done. Your turn, if you choose.
Thank you
AZR © 2014
And....AZR
So here it comes, for what it is worth.
Hurt. The Creator Writings
My beautiful child; there will be people in your life completely committed to hurting you. They will say things that are not based in truth, they will be rude, mean or ignore you in a bid to get you to react in some way, any way…..for their satisfaction. During this time, you may feel at your lowest and most lonely,
but do not despair! Even as the tides change so will these situations. What felt like the end of your world today, will seem inconsequential tomorrow. Be strong, be courageous, be brave and know The Universe has much bigger plans for you than you could ever imagine. ~ Creator
transcribed by Jennifer Farley, ThetaHealing Instructor/Practitioner
So, I think we all know what that means. Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. Willoughby.
'An Education' has transformed me and I am going to watch it again right now. I suggest, Cuba, that you watch it too. You, my dear, are a cad. Willoughby is a cad. Not to say, New York, New York, that you are the less handsome Colonel Brandon by any means, or I should say, a wonderfully mature and kind man, ready to catch Marianne and soothe her wounds. You have done none of those things. And you distance too, and judge and will yourself not to love too, but it is different and I see why.
Because you are not a cad. The prophecies went something like this....a man I have had a long involvement with has a woman, unknown to me, probably has children with her already and is someone who will never come back and who is not worth holding on to for any reason. It's a useless relationship and will test me time and time again. Yes, Cuba, it is true.
I have to say that after that film, my emotional belligerence of self preservation and self dignity is as high as Mount Everest. I cannot afford to love you any more, so that I am emotionally affected. Cruel, bitter and true. You, my dear, deserve it. Let's leave it at that. I have thanked you enough.
The prophecies also went like this...a new and wonderful man who is very selfish, but I should let him in, alongside doing it differently, sort of thing. Yes, he is married but he has already 'left' his wife, sort of thing. And he likes me. Really likes me.
So, I am making my intention clear now. At the same time, to do it differently, and so I can retain my authentic beauty and self, and not end up begging or judging or this or that, that men make women do, in that mysterious thing called, 'getting to know you', I will maintain what I chose to say earlier on. I'm done with all things that are relationship, until I can trust you. That's fair enough isn't it. I hear you and feel you, so please do continue. You will regress and hate me so I am ready for that. It's not as if I hadn't had practise. You are entering soul. A man who is capable of loving a real woman and treating her like the vulnerable being that she is on this earth. As a woman and not a child. Or indeed chattel. And I will trust that you are growing into Colonel Brandon and that you were never a Willoughby. And if you were, you have grown out of it. As Colonel Brandon has done too.
I have begun the book now and am flowing. A huge project, so just going to pour into that for a long while. Just first drafts, but the anchor I need to clear Cuba and watch you.
You are a very powerful man, whose name will add to my work immensely. This may make you get carried away with your judgement, demands or selfishness. I am watching that and know my self worth. Tortoise and The Hare is what I say to you, so be respectful, even if I have nothing. Please. Which is why it needs time probably, but hopefully not seven years. I also need to trust and not bash you on the head. Actually it is not my style at all.
So I will release all dependency or need or desire for friendship and generosity of any authentic kind as well as the immature kind, be poor, obscure and alone and deeply uncomfortable, and give it a go. Elizabeth Bennett enters the fray again, but this time with distanced self respect and caution.
But not without profound feeling already.
Cuba, you will understand one day. I don't need to say anything else to you about it. After all, you are my 'An Education' so your purpose will remain with my work forever. You are lucky that I am as dialectical as I am. You will still hate it though, so there is some justice in that. I am very at peace with it all though. Even if I have to spend a year or two years in the mire. So what. I got away from you and it seems my caddish dear, that that was all we were going to do. I was the love of your life. Shame you never honoured it. But then, it turns out that you were never meant to.
You have to learn the difference, just as in the film Breezy between loving someone and not wanting them to love someone else. My torture chamber life of waiting for you is done.
I am emotionally clear. Taken back to myself and my awesome teachers, and mother and aunts who in their way were the most feminist women I have met. Splintered but feminist and powerful nonetheless. You simply are not worth it, it is true. But I had a ball too. So, thank you. Now, I go to work.
And watch New York. My Colonel Brandon to be born. My true male friend. And perhaps, the great love I have worked so hard to be with. Read the website New York. Cuba and I made it for you.
To mature love. To love.
AZR © 2014
...and obviously New York, New York, I am sensitive to what you are going through or are feeling your way through or are handling in your own personal life. So, the more disciplined and friendship based we are, it's probably better isn't it....the passion can come later sort of thing. We can come later, we as opposed to come, but that's nice too:) sort of thing. It's good training for us isn't it...grounding the passion into the heart. Love. To go with the love.
I shall try not to need.
Laters for now.
x
AZR © 2014
:) Feeling good. I'm looking after you too, Cuba, you know that.
New York, New York, you fill my heart. I don't want to say too much though out of sensitivity. But you know. You fill my heart.
I am thinking about the work in this new context, which I will trust. It's so tempting at this point to get self conscious about what it is all about and begin to water it down or do any of the things that would 'help' the subject in the light of the scrutiny it will get. But I am going the other way. I believe you can take it. And if not now, you will. At the same time, it is so sprawling and in its first expansion, that it will change anyway, I am sure.
I am thinking about the fact that my aim from the first, from over a decade ago, even before the language, came, that if my work was relegated to the bottom shelf, or in some segment of the bookshop or world, I would have failed. New spirituality, personal development, consciousness, human rights for the meek across the world, human rights in such taboo areas as relationship and marriage and family for women. All of this, in a pseudo religious society of male supremacy, Lemurian cultural imperialism, hidden Lost Knowledge, disempowerment and alchemy knowledge in the hands of the few, and complete injustice, is witchcraft. And it is and it should be. It is from The Temple Society. The ancient society that has been wiped off the face of this profane and empty earth. And why everyone is sick. And I mean mentally, let alone physically. I have experienced both.
And still do. My body is in trauma today, after my medical treatment - my chiropracter is another very important man in my life - the emotions of the past few weeks has been healed within. The healing pain is intense, but very peaceful. Mystic indeed.
Anyway, in relation to the aim I talk of, with you, there is now a platform to aim for and work towards, so I am rising to the challenge. And despite the pain and the pleasure of the new, I am slowly feeling the peace of being able to rest and amble my way through the work now. At last. Cuba, you must be feeling the same about life too. We have been in Hades for so long, and coming up for air at last is a very bizarre thing. I have a heavy heart but am floating with the lightest heart too. High as a kite basically, sober.
Beginning to look into the histories of the world again too, as I do the thousand and one tasks that I have waited so long to do. Isis is Cinderella. Jonathan Black in his Secret History of the World and The Sacred Histories refers to this. Isis of course, the Divinity wiped out by the world that became the 'modern' world.
Cinderella also refers to a people. The meek. Whether I am Isis, which is absolutely possible, or whether I am the Isis archetype, it's nice to see that I exist somewhere. But we know that. The conquered Monarch of Atlantis still works for me too. She rises. And I thank you both for your companionship, and you, New York, New York, for your arrival and your love.
'Forbid me to ever leave you' says Varinia to Spartacus in Stanley Kubrick's film, when she tells him she loves him. I am in training and watching the classics. In my bunker. I am forbidden indeed. And I like it. Hope you like it too.
AZR © 2014
...oh, no, don't get me wrong, New York, New York. I am just belligerently non attaching. I don't know how to receive, remember. It has failed so spectacularly before, that I am trying to be aloof for non attachment sake. Not, desire, will, wish or hope. Or indeed, love.
And actually I am not saying more than that! Cinderella must wait for her prince. It is the way of the world. I hate it. But I am not going to allow myself to get carried away this time. But my heart is solid. Solidly, with you.
So, maybe it is better to stay quiet now. Or not. Dunno. You make me happy. Yes, I want to be with you. As soon as possible. But I non attach in belligerent serenity. I have to wait. Contact comes from you. I will not pretend that this process can ever be pleasant for me. Cinderella is too tired for that. Cinderella lives in an awful bunker. She ain't going to pretend. But she ain't going to blame again, either. Her lot in life. Until she is truly, rescued.
Her heart is solid. That's all she can say. So, maybe it's better not to dribble about that every day! We'll see.
Peace for nowx
AZR © 2014
She lives in a bunker alone, and is poor. Work is all she can do. Life and love have to come from you:) She can only speak of what she knows. The rest is all forgotten. And will probably have to be re-learnt. Cinderella. It's true.
AZR © 2014
Peace and Farewell. AZR
So, I can see where this is going now. And that's fine. We have all tried. Don't know what I am going to do with this website, but keep reading for now.
I focus on my life and work now. Don't know where I am going to start, but that is always the way. I do this, communicate out of need too, so I will have to kill that too.
Love doesn't exist and my life is the proof. Now, comes the analysis and chronicling of all experience. But I feel nothing but peace and joy that I felt any life or possibilities at all.
Thank you and cheers for now. And happy birthday, Cuba, I am sure you have lots of attention around you. Good for you. Tara.
AZR © 2014
Amera Ziganii Rao :: Trained and self trained creative. Trained and self trained healer. An expert in the psychological and subtle and unseen. An expert in psychological pain and psychological warfare. An extremist for human rights. An extremist for human rights and love, sex and female, male power. An extremist for 'the meek shall inherit the earth'.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
I sacrificed myself to see hell. I fell in love. It turns out that women have to even pay for sex. It's called slavery. Slavery for hell. With a bit of sex. Male madness draws us in. Male madness spits us out. If we are strong we survive. If we are not, we don't. That is the world of so called love. Sacrificing oneself, to see the truth of hell. Sacrificing oneself to become total self love.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
We're stepped out upon the world stage now, now, with the fate of human (female) dignity in our hands.
Abraham Lincoln
New York, New York. AZR
Well....you are right, New York, New York but it is the same deal isn't it. So, I am not saying I am not open to you and I most certainly am, but I am also saying that I can't do it anymore, unless you are certain. Which you don't seem to be at the moment and that is your right.
Why should you love and why should you love me? For sure. How am I going to feel about that? I can only become a simpering co-dependent, waiting and begging you to show love, so believe me when I say, I am sick to the stomach with what that entails.
It is enough that I have faith in the future at all. Or indeed, the will to love again.
You, however are hanging it all out with others so that is your right too and you are 'healing' as a man too. I will try not to lose hope, but at the same time, non attachment is beyond torture and frankly, the psychic is more of a liability now than a blessing as far as you are concerned. I don't want to know and I don't want to know unless you are certain, if you don't mind. Unless you are well, certain, loving, over the whore and Madonna fascism travesty, because that is all that it is and so on.
Of course, that is also commitment. You may have none of that in mind. You will have to let me know. I want to know a man mind, body and soul. I am committed to commitment. I have asked to be rescued but that has not come. I won't ask again. If you want to love, you will, if you don't, you won't. The world belongs to Lemurian kings. Cinderella however pays the price to not partake. She has the right to ask for something more than the whore and Madonna. She has paid the price.
In other words, there is no romance anymore. Just yes or no. I keep the romance for the certainty. I have never seen any yet. And have no active faith for it left. Your wisdom should tell you that that is hardly surprising. First, because I am female and secondly, because of all that I have been through, as you read it on the blog.
But yes, if you choose to and if you can. I have to watch my own co-dependency too. And it is very hard to give up hope to delay it for the future. And I don't like being whore and Madonnaed. I never did.
That however is the Cinderella burden of existence. I will therefore have to accept it. You may be the great love I have waited for my whole life, but you are still the same as Cuba and anyone else right now. That takes faith and love. I have put both on hold.
All I can say is yes, if you choose to and if you can.
I am watching Peter Jackson's Lord of The Rings. Endurance training for the next fuckery journey ahead. Cinderella forever, until she can save herself. And you, if you choose to and if you can.
AZR © 2014
...actually I feel very safe with you. I do know who I am dealing with. But yes, I am scared. Funny that. I was mad too. Before my ascension. The madness of men is terrifying now. Terrifying and all pervasive. So, yes, I am scared. And I have no problem in admitting that. Scared, tired, hopeless and resistant. I want to go home. There is no home to go to. And I hate relying on another being. I am scared, uncomfortable and legitimately impatient. You have not yet got in touch. I let a man be distant for seven years. I cannot do it again. All or nothing means earth contact. And the end of the whore and Madonna fuckery. Am I being reasonable? Really, my dear, I don't give a fuck. It is enough that I have the will to love again. It is more than enough.
Anyway, you have the blog. I will leave it as it is, other than editing. Thank you for reading it. Thank you for your interest. Let me know if it is anything more.
AZR © 2014
And I would just like to add that despite my belligerent self protection, I am fine. And also resisting being the teacher. Yet, I am always being asked to channel and deliver. As I move into mastering of one's destiny - the making decisions about what channeling to deliver and what not to - it is a very difficult transition. I would say this. The whore and Madonna is paradoxically 'The goddess and the mortal woman'. I attract men whose courtship style is one I hate. This is because male idealism punishes the goddess woman for not being invincible. Just as I once punished men for not being invincible and I speak of punishment as an irrational ego belief of hate and rage and distrust and distancing. Your distancing is condemnation of me. Nothing less.
Now, one could say that 'well, hey, we've just met'. If the love in you matched your sexual energy and sexual connection with me, you would be well. It does not. Mine does. The love has to match the in love and this is not just about newness of connection. It would be a mistake to see it that way. Beings like us are too advanced for normal rules to apply. You are searching for home too. You connected and then pulled away in distancing hesitation and non connection. Same story for 32 years. It would be easy to take that personally and a notice of intent not to like or love. Hard, bitter experience and being a channel, tells me differently. I deliver and you can do what you will with that information.
The goddess whore and the mortal Madonna is your dilemma. Added to fascism. The will to control a woman in the agenda of The Patriarchal Toilet Tribe. You house the women who serve your agenda. You distance, fuck and worship the women who don't. That is not newness of connection. That is slavery and obedience to the conventional, while worshipping from afar, the unconventional. Your true heart.
I speak generically. I leave the personal of it to you. I am the whore goddess. Whore goddesses have needs too. And we do not deserve to be punished, tortured and yo-yoed. And yet, that is all any man does. Be great. Do it differently. Or not. But know what you are doing.
And every day for me is the hard work to disentangle, detach and non attach, your conflicted attraction. Men talk the houses down about the female psycho. You are a male psycho. Like all the rest, advanced or not advanced, the psychology of being is generic. It is my right and duty to tell you that you are emotionally sick as the male psycho in love and what makes you that way. It is also my privilege and position. I am a Priest after all. I deliver.
And there is at least a part of you that wants to know. It's why you found me. Don't whore goddess me. Love me. Or not.
AZR © 2014
....yes, invincible means perfect, all loving, the lost parent, the perfect ideal. All an ego dream. Born out of the misery of the pain of childhood. And indeed the misery of being born. I thought men were perfect, the man for me. That was my madness. I healed it completely five years ago. I have now healed it politically too, after four years of seeing pure, unmitigated, male hell.
Yours is that you think the woman for you is the perfect goddess. She is not. She is me. Perhaps. As archetype she is. A perfect person is actually one who is healed. Healed out of the unconscious psychosis of pseudo love. I am. It is you who are not. Healing is available for all. Face the idealism and kill it. It prevents you from all that is TRUE love. Love. And maybe, me.
AZR © 2014
Angel of Mine lll Pt ll (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Goddess Love (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Beauty X Pt ll (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Angel of Mine Vl (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Erotica XlV Pt Vl (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
No Name lll Pt lV (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Feline Beauty lV Pt lll (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Shaman Love Vlll (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Siren lX Pt lll (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Goddess (Artwork)
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Self Love For Men = Love For Women. AZR
Some inspiration for us, to balance up with the teaching. Idealism grieving and leaving behind + leaving behind Lolita dependency and all the rest. And loving sex. And indeed, loving loving.
Self love = love. Self love comes from meditation or any meditative pastime. Creativity in other words, or indeed, loving. Doing it consciously. Your soul loves you. Your soul is love. Your soul honours and sees the goddess as human. And indeed THE Goddess as God. Even if that is not believed, just incorporating that changes one's whole perspective. The Great Mother Universe loves all.
That's it. I feel you New York. And I am at peace, while leaving you to it. I am working. Thinking about the photography. I will either copyright these photographs that I have reworked from images around the internet obviously, or I will aim to make pornography art. It is simply stunning how puritanical society truly is. But I am most certainly not the first artist to do it. I look forward to it. First, I have to edit a huge amount of other photography and so on. But I like that idea. Shooting my own erotica. Not bad for a British Asian from west London.
Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
Liberation of the heart and soul being as important as liberation of the sexuality. And just, sex.
Cuba, I feel you too. I see the justice but I also see the grief and the pain and the poignancy. You made me a Sacred Whore Monarch. If you had been able to do it, would you have taught me so much about motherhood? Would you have taught me so much self love, with our requited but unfulfilled love? I know you see the truth of the idealism of the goddess now. And how much you have punished me for not being your idea of perfect. That is the male psycho. You know that now.
For me, I see the temptations that Buddha faced, are all about one thing. One thing that I did lose in the past three years before regaining it. Loss of humanity in the face of battle and the onslaught of evil. Or sickness, I should say too. Your endless need and seperation of Sacred Whore goddess and manageable woman in front of you. And this awful bunker of a flat with its very own Rumplestilstkin shadow, every step I move around. I can only attract addiction, wherever it comes from. All to test my endurance and humanity. The tests come for each person in the way least expected. And each day I clean the filth in this bizarre flat of ectoplasm, I see the training and the discipline.
We all have our tests. And it is all to do with humanity. Whatever level we are challenged on, it is the same.
I feel peace. And hope you do too. Just because you are not healing for me, you can still heal. Love yourself.
And I, in relation to both of you, will love myself too. We all deserve it. We all deserve to be the love energy. It is easy. We get out of the way.
Already on Lord of the Rings lll. Having seen this three years ago, I cannot believe how we have all developed our psychic powers. We run on the same level as the Elves, Atlantean or Lemurian, as we are. That is a gift indeed. And so is our ability to fight. For the right to be.
Sex, love and humanity. That is all there is. And in that, women's humanity, the humanisation of woman comes right at the top. Mother dependency is actually Goddess dependency isn't it. I feel more honoured than ever before. Whore to goddess. We can all do with re education. I am to be vilified no more. And neither are you.
AZR © 2014
Love and New Writing. AZR
So. In my self taught life and my 'produced' existence, as Hierophant and all things of the two worlds, the ordinary world and the extraordinary world, I stand at a crossroads creatively.
I think enough has been said about love, don't you? I could continue along the same lines, and I probably will, as I edit, re-publish many of the pieces, so New York can be directed to the right material, but I think the time has come to stop talking about love and beginning the monumental task (for me) of talking and writing about life.
Now, at this point, I could write privately. In the age of the blog, and all that is social media, and indeed, in light of my privileged position to deliver this philosophical psycho analysis, and in light of the fact that I clearly like having real muses on earth as well as 'in heaven', and in light of the fact that I like an immediate audience, even when I am musing myself, I think it is time to begin writing about life.
I will continue to chat here, but on one of the pages - the links are beneath the title of the blog - I will begin the sketches for both Alchemy & Liberatio & Humanity™ and Natural Born Mystic™.
Actually it suits me too, that google has taken my blog off the search engines for fear of offending. I should check that out as even porn sites are listed, but later. After all the blog is free, so maybe that is why. It suits anyway, because I want a small audience for what could be my professional paid writing, much as I take everything I have delivered seriously. The new writing will be clearly less autobiographical, even though it will include that, as that is the type of material it is, but it is sketches to begin with and could be a long sketch writing. I do have many many years and many experiences to analyse. And interpret.
I also feel this is the best way to proceed now, as I am not in the life I want and therefore have no place of peace to write or work or live - the madman upstairs has now become part of my material of study, as life demands of me, and as life has always demanded of me - so it makes me feel more like a resistance writer and philosopher, writing under fire, as my weapon of self therapy and therapy for you and anyone else who needs it. In other words, it helps me as there is no peace of life anywhere, or a writer's room or a bed to rest my deserving head. Without his madness and the madness of poor housing.
Soooo, enough about that. No one is listening and I get it. I get it because I am now beginning, in this new attitude of tolerance and acceptance and surrender, to sense all that I have achieved and how much everyone needs it and craves it. And how I have to find the language and perspective now, as I train into the educator I have always been.
The first thing I am thinking about for instance and I will continue on the page with this...is what I would call 'The Gollum Society'. The society of madness we are all born into. I was stupid once too. I was without self responsibility too. I was not in therapy too. I did not face myself too. In terms of the two archetypes for instance, one archetype stays within the framework of metaphor, but never analyses, because that would mean facing themselves and the other interprets metaphor very easily, but is always focused on the world instead of themselves. I was the latter. You two are the former. Hierophant is philosophical and spiritual and alchemical and esoteric psycho analysis. But I had to be told to go to therapy too.
And that is about pain. 'The Gollum Society' has no tolerance for pain. Now, on a sexual level, that is room for titillation. That is not my intention right here, even though of course, that is part of it. 'The Gollum Society' teaches no self responsibility. Self responsibility is only a religious directive in normal society - other than Buddhist - and so on. Buddhism teaches that if everyone took responsibility for their own emotional make up and spiritual and mental welfare, then we would have no wars. I am living with the extreme of that failure. I take responsibility. The madman doesn't and neither has anyone I have been forced into close proximity with, since the hour I was born.
So, enough judgements and criticisms and trying to bully people into change, despite my best intentions. I have clearly been in training for Priesthood since the first day of my life and it is time to take that on board and alchemise (use) every situation I am being forced to endure.
You as archetype, both of you, fear the rejection that comes when my archetype, me, avoids you because we can't take you. You are right and wrong. I don't avoid. I try and help. Not sure either is any good though, which is probably why you are such distancers, as type. What you are slower in - and I was once dead slow too - is the ability and WILL to take emotional self responsibility and endure pain. It is also, more importantly, the inability to be alone. You are in the idealism of believing that love is the one area where you 'can be yourself'. I know. I was there once too. Love is yet another area where you CAN'T be yourself. And of course you can. This is what you don't understand. This is the difficulty in evolution. I know that. I've been there.
Society, 'The Gollum Society' teaches us to inflict pain and not tolerate it ourselves. In other words, to blame, to project, and to nag, irritate, hold others responsible. In other words, war.
'The Gollum Society' teaches war. 'The Temple Society' (Buddhism has no women, so doesn't count either) teaches peace. Peace through self stripping, bearing pain and self crucifixion. This is Ascension and is the basis of my teachings to come.
However, it is the teachings and the details that you want and that we all want. And that is me evolving as a trainer. So, let's see how it goes. Sketches. That also gives me hope too, because sketches can become the basis for a publishers pitch and the ability to get the fuck out of where I live. That is progress and again, belligerent self responsibility and the ability to therefore be kind to those I love. You don't get it yet. I see that. It is time to give up trying to 'make' you, ie, to have expectation, and to just begin again. From the beginning. I aim to have many types of writing for many types of themes and groups. For now, let's begin at the beginning.
x
AZR © 2014
Les Brown
Wow. So, first I was told to help. Now, the affirmations are coming thick and fast for the opposite. It's also about need of course. I have to accept that I am alone. I do. But I appreciate and welcome the psychic connections. Thank you. AZR
Les Brown
Leave it alone! Don't try and solve the problems that others have made for themselves. Don't even give them a chance to talk their way out of what they've acted themselves into. Allow them to learn the lesson of the consequences of their choices. Don't throw hard earned money away trying to bail someone out of a situation that they created. Muster up the courage to say "no".
The best thing you can do for them is to let them take responsibility for their own actions. Make up your mind not to be a rescuer or an enabler. Let them figure it out and handle it. The sooner you do this, the sooner they will learn their lessons. They have their own journey. Keep your money in your pocket and keep the drama and stress out of your life. Resist the guilt trip!! Don't give it any more energy and protect your peace of mind. You deserve to be happy! Because, you have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!
It is time to believe in yourself and your dreams. It is time to take the risk of living your true life. It is time to hold your head up and decide to never let anything turn you around.
It's time to recognize that you have more in you than you've been expressing. You have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!
Stay connected with people who inspire, nourish and bring out the best in you. It takes time to pull yourself together and to heal if you’ve been hurt, humiliated, or become emotionally broken because of what you’ve gone through. You can become disconnected with the real you and forget who you really are. It’s necessary to read, listen and focus on positive things. Things that strengthen your mind, develop your confidence and fortify your spirit. Create a strategy that will allow yourself to rid your life of people whose only intention is to strip, destroy, or take you down.
Be aware that there are certain situations that are just not good for you. Make a conscious, deliberate effort to focus your mind exclusively on things that will build you up, give you hope and expand the possibilities in all dimensions of your life. You have the capacity and the ability to rebuild your life. What you have gone through can be used to develop another part of yourself. Stay connected with positive people with the knowledge that you will get through this. You have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!
Break loose! Free yourself from dysfunctional people who are experts at meeting their own needs at the expense of yours. Don't let people stay in your life who trample on your feelings or behave badly. Set clear boundaries so that you don't get caught up their maze of madness, or feel responsible for their life choices or consequences. Live in your own story. Don't try to edit someone else's.
Practice radical self-care, and work to maintain your peace of mind. Do something everyday that nourishes your spirit, opens your heart, and builds mental resiliency. It's your life. Live intentionally with purpose and passion. You have GREATNESS within you!
Les Brown
Cuba. AZR
There is one thing I would say however, Marcus Vinicius. I am very angry at you. Very angry and hurt. It's true. So, I know that no decision can be made on that basis. I am delivering at this moment too. Woke up with it. Her will be done anyway. I belong to Her and you know that.
My feelings for you are so shadowed at the moment, that I suppose all that is going to happen now with you, New York or you, is time. I am at work now anyway, but I deliver out of fairness and truth.
You and Havana have now become such a painful experience that I cannot trust my feelings for any of it or anything to do with my life, other than my desk and my work.
It is true. I maintain everything I have said, about my new dream, but I know we are all living the moment too. And it true. I am really pissed off at you. Shocked, pissed off and resigned.
I suppose though in the order of things, that means nothing. I continue in the graveyard country, in the graveyard city, while.....well, we know the rest.
But I wanted to tell you that. I was in chronic love dependency too, before the healing. Both of you can be encouraged by that. We are all on healing lives.
And I suppose then, will be the decision and the focus. I can't intend anything with you anymore. But I must say in fairness that I am too pissed off to know what I am doing. New York, New York however is firmly in my heart now too.
And that's it for now.
AZR © 2014
New York, New York. AZR
No, we are cool. For now. But these are difficult times of course and I am making sure I am making decisions about you, based on the right reasons and not any insincere ones. I am.
I have begun my training now to become a speaker, as I create the material. A long and full journey I am sure, even in ingredients. Time, I don't know. I could begin publicly tomorrow. But lots of material to generate, organise and then generate and organise again. You know the process. Your art form of all, is the longest, time wise, other than architecture.
I am clearing fears and resentments now to a new level.
1. Resentment re men and all that has happened to me.
2. Fear of doing it alone.
3. Fear of doing it in my suffocating and attempts to sabotage circumstances.
4. Fear that it will take ages to get out of this shithole of a flat and life.
5. Fear that my flavour and message is too 'weird'. The merging of the spirituality and the personal development as the challenge. To bring back Albion. The new old world.
6. Fear that no man will ever support me emotionally or with his gifts, that no man will ever truly want to love me or will be truly able to and that I have wasted my life and that this is some awful journey to just clear men completely. Despite all that I have been told that I would attain a harvest.
As Les Brown says - learning from the masters, as no master is a master all the time, and I am a junior master now in these new fields of public speaking and professional writing - it is about facing the fears. I have done that for years and years and am now back to that, after the extreme journey I have been on.
I just have to remember how far I have come. And how far I have to go.
So, yes, I am ready. And full of love. Just keep working on your attitudes to female career and indeed, mine. He broke me, bound me and buried me. Don't do that again. I know you are still 'whore and Madonnering' me. I accept it, unwillingly, for now.
AZR © 2014
....and Cuba, to balance it up, because the love will always be there, I just watched Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby. I see the analogy loud and clear. You took a chance. I took a chance. You may have taken a chance like never before. And I needed you so much. To father me, just as in the film. And in your bizarre and cruel and loving way, you did. You still gave me more than any man has given me so far. And of course, he took a chance, by managing her properly and taking her into big fights, I mean - his last boxer left him for another manager, because he wouldn't put him forward for the big fights - and of course, she got destroyed in the fight by her massive spinal injury. And then he had to face the utter devastation of having to let her go, by enabling her death so she wouldn't have to continue suffering as a paraplegic and losing her limbs to inactivity. She begged him to aid her death after losing her leg. It finally hit her then, that she would never box again and that her dream was over and so were they. But as she said to him, she had done everything she set out to do. She achieved her dreams of becoming such a successful boxer and just as she had said to him in the beginning, she knew she would be great if he trained her. And they clearly loved each other very much. They had healed each other. When they met, he was writing unanswered letters to an 'estranged' daughter, and turning up to church and bugging the priest continuously about the answers he could not hear. And he carried great guilt about his friend (Morgan Freeman), whose loss of one eye he blamed himself for and so on. She made him train her - I don't train girls - and he finally found the love he was looking for. The meaning of life.
You see the analogy. Your training was harsh. You did bury me. And made me feel like an untouchable whore. But it was also love. And I was delivered. Look at the extraordinary journey of self discovery that I have made and Hierophanted, all under your watchful, silent eye. And now it seems you have to let me go. After all, there clearly is no crisis big enough, that will make you pick up the phone is there...you know.
And remember this. Your friend and New York, New York are our blood too. We are all part of the same soul. The same soul cluster. Love is the only thing that is real, says Dr Brian Weiss. Indeed. But our rite of passage is over.
But let's not any of us forget the love. New York, New York has had his partner too. All the same soul cluster. Universal love for all of us. We took the chance and lost. We also won and won big. We did create miracles. The fruits of that, philosophically may take a while. The fruits of that, physically will hopefully take less time. But miracles have been created and mammoth journeys made. Healing has most definitely occurred and that is the main thing.
Gratitude and humility. We saw paradise, as we saw the deepest bowels of hell (or Tartarus as my recent Greek and Roman legend research is teaching me) and now we get something not often bestowed. Our second chances. In the same life. That is paradise indeed. Paradise after hell. The harvest.
To Albion. To all of us.
AZR © 2014
New Life. New Priorities. New World. AZR
So.....
I wake up with the overwhelming task ahead of me. I like it. I love it and I was wrong of course about your art form, New York, New York, being the longest. Of course, mine is. Writing. Writing is where it all comes from. And it most certainly does take the longest. And when you combine art with prophet work and all that prophet work is, philosophical work and the like, it is long.
I am also trying a new perspective about my life now. I have seen, through bitter truth, that men give nothing so far, unless they are in complete control and running the show. My 'problem' is that I run the show. And I am not male. And I am destined for partnership. I have always been terrified of what it meant to have such a profound purpose, as I knew I had in some way from when I was very young. And the past three years have proved to be horrendously true. I have as big a vocation as men and I love alpha males. The two things do not correlate so far. Apparently, that is to work out after all. Big vocation and a big man together. My worst nightmare, because I knew what misogyny was from the age of 2. Yes, 2.
I also approached the past seven years with innocent expectation and presumption. As my letter to Cuba shows. I cannot do that anymore, even if you are a new man and also the best, if destiny proves true.
In other words, I know you are trying and evolving and I know you are listening and taking it all in and loving it. Not least, because your mixing of spirituality and sex seems to match mine, but because of your latest work, which clearly has taken you into a new stratosphere of spirituality for you.
However, I am stuck in the same dilemma. With a nuisance life and a nuisance neighbour and no way of getting out for now, due to my circumstances, and the need for a place to be and work properly as any human being deserves and that I most certainly deserve after such a terrible climb through hell. The Patriarchal and indeed, Lemurian attempts to sabotage all that I am and all that SHE is. The Great Mother Universe. But there is no justice and I have accepted that for sure. The real GOD was killed a long time ago and I, in my humility am one of the ones to represent. Human rights belongs to Her. Which is why they do not exist on this godless earth. Female (and Atlantean) human rights is a joke now as it was then. I am a dissident and freedom fighter and certainly not a theorist or only here to help others. I cannot even help myself it seems despite years of trying. It is only now that I have to do the rags to riches journey and my dilemma is that I have a huge amount of quantity and quality to attain and therefore cannot do anything fast.
Whatever. The good news is that these circumstances have made me completely entrepreneurial and completely not guilty about all that I intend to attain, materially, financially and achievement wise, as well as morally. The good news is also that I can use this stop and start life with only a few hours to be able to work here and there to my advantage. It is beneficial to go very slow at this point. I am in that wonderful creative void now where I have to let everything go to see where it lands and how. You know the process.
So, I can cope with that. The depression is not easy. The asceticism is mind numbing. The loneliness and total imbalance of my life with just work is awful. And so on. And what I am currently terrified of - should have put that at the top of the list - is that I am going to be stuck here for years and that the idea of being rescued by an omnipotent man who loves me, is silly.
I suppose I should trust at this point. I can't. Trust what? I don't even know what I am legitimately allowed to trust or hope for. I don't ever want to presume that I know what male or Lemurian love is ever again.
You are however, new. You are, however, someone who is searching for a spiritual life in your own creativity and you are someone who can already see what I bring to the table. You love my work. And you've only seen a segment of it.
So, I don't know what that means. I am the director, producer, total crew, writer and innovator of all that I do and my ambitions are huge. Produced by the unseen and channelled through me. I think you know from your last work what that means. I am driven and have been preparing for this forever.
Cuba couldn't cope unless he was in total control of it. I had to deflect an attempt at a takeover again and again. Or he just left me alone completely. There is a middle ground. It's what you have as men received all your life from others. Your loving female partners. I have received nothing. As a buried whore, I have received psychic support and am now, from you, again. I do not dismiss that for a second, but I need a lot more and have pleaded and yearned and negotiated for that for four years and nothing ever came.
So, that's where I am at today. Committed totally to just be me. Be my purpose and the slow development now into all that I have to become. I hope I don't have to do it alone. But I am cynically and sceptically prepared to do so.
I've also never been a plan B person. I am extremely single minded. But now, I waver. Not having a plan B, put me into this shithole of a flat and life. So now, I work on plan B as much as plan A. That is an uncomfortable feeling for me and I do not believe in the alchemical power of that, anymore than the likes of Les Brown.
I do not however want to repeat mistakes. I never repeat mistakes. I guess I just don't know if they really were mistakes. I don't know what a man is anymore I guess.
So, just preparing mentally to commit to plan B, while hoping for plan A. With no 'get rich quick' scheme available.
And that puts me in a bad mood. I deserved more. Earth is a shithole. And I am not going to ask for anything that I am not entitled to. Your love basically. I suppose 'these things take time' has to be the sensible option. And why not. It's probably true.
Plus of course, I happen to have an extremely painful and debilitating disability that exhausts me. I have to go slow and that pisses me off too. I don't have a problem with process. That was hard enough to accept and it's taken a long and disciplined 15 years. Now, I have to accept no love too. The new discipline perhaps, for sure. And maybe, just as long. Hopefully, that is just a fear.
Laters new love.
AZR © 2014
And I finally intend to clear this massive hurt, after four years of fighting it and trying to change it....
My biggest fear has been, since the age of 7, that my huge vocation and indeed my calling, would not correlate with male vanity. That I would not be loved for being great. That sexy men would indeed hate me for who I am. I was right so far. I release that fear now with a new man. But I give him time and space, and finally acknowledge the universal truth.
Huge vocation + a monopoly on Divinity (consciousness and Hierophant work) = no love from a man.
AZR © 2014
Freakout. AZR
Yes. Any healer usually has no ability to interpret their own lives. That is now happening to me.
I am in despair and freaking out. So I am finally letting go of this whole game. I can't do it anymore. Otherwise I will end up dead. And that is too desirable to even think about.
I don't know what my personal destiny is anymore. If love is ever non psychic, I am sure life will let me know.
Now I have to accept abject failure and begin life again. A new home and so on and at least a year of regrouping.
Nothing has worked. I am in crucifixion. And no one loves me or wants to be family. I get it. I am done and I will find out what this shit has been about. If it takes the rest of my life I will find out.
For now I give up. My prophet purification journey will end and I am the one who is going to do it.
Thank you for your attention.
Enjoy the blog. My gift to you. All of you.
I have to begin again. Rome, apparently can't be built at all.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Alone, sick and slowly. So what.
The Crucifixion Journey. Atlantis on Earth.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Even Sisyphus is allowed a holiday. Amera Ziganii Rao
Phew. I already feel better. I may be poor but I still have options. I accept that I was never going to be loved by anyone. Why would I? I am an Atlantean Elder. I am too advanced for Earth. At least, I will never ever have to rely on another person again in my entire life. And if it takes me ten years to create my company and the photography art, then so be it. I need meaning in my life and to be 'waiting' for men is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I just want to be comfortable. Comfortable and alone. That is all there is. And I welcome it. I love me. I do not need love from anyone else. Ever again.
So, early days, and I am giving myself a year before I begin the real writing, but this is clearly the story. How to leave men. How to leave the madness of men. Forever.
Thank you and all the best. I am off, to live. Hooooooraaaaaaaaaaah. Men are mad. I am not.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
My biggest fear has been, since the age of 7, that my huge vocation and indeed my calling, would not correlate with male vanity. That I would not be loved for being great. That sexy men would indeed hate me for who I am. I was right so far. I finally acknowledge the universal truth. Huge vocation + a monopoly on Divinity (consciousness and Hierophant work) = no love from a man.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Even Sisyphus is allowed a holiday.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Men have to be left. Everyone has to be left. Life has to be lived alone, to be a true life. Men have to be left. Everyone has to be left. There is no meaning in love with other people. There is only true meaning, alone. There is only love, alone. Everyone has to be left. Because there is absolutely no love on earth. Other than in oneself. Atlantean Elders have to be the ones who leave. Which is why we cannot be loved. Because there is no love at all. Everyone has to be left. Everyone is mad.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Cuba. AZR
You know. New York, New York is as bad as you. Have I had a sincere fling? Probably. Don't know and don't really care anymore actually. Married men are nuts. You are the original nutter in my life. So, I don't intend to run away anymore.
I am at the same time forging my own life now. You are as mad as him and I am getting over all your abuse. I have to 'make the climb' now. New home and all the rest and that will probably take a year. So what. I am making the climb and then we will see.
'Friends' for now. All of us. But you know what I want. You've always known. One day you will deliver. Or not. That is your responsibility. Not mine. But it is my duty to tell the truth too. And not piss about just for the sake of it.
The truth will reveal itself. But you are still my blood.
You are however as useless as New York, New York, or any other man. Married men are nuts. Cinderella is off. Whether either of you ever turn up is highly debatable. I don't have to believe a damn thing. All I have to do is to make the climb.
Love is your job now. I am done.
AZR © 2014
The Greatness of The Meek. AZR
....and what I am focusing on - thankfully, not you anymore - is how I am the least mediocre person on this earth and I am being forced to live such a mediocre life with such mediocre goals.
I approach that philosophically today. And what I see is this. There must be women all over the world who stay in relationships for economic and fear reasons and indeed, pride. Ain't nothing wrong in admitting that. Women have no position on this earth, whether it is relative success we are talking about or no apparent success.
I am a poor artist developing an authentic product. I know that and have never had a problem with that. I am also ill. I have no problem with that. I have a problem with male insanity. Married men.
Waiting/investing in/relying on married men is the same as staying in a relationship for the same reason. Economics and pride. Why should I have to be doing this, looking for a new tiny flat in a city I don't even want to be in anymore, at this stage of my life sort of thing. These things are highly deceptive. Every single journey out of the mire that I have made, and I have made many many journeys now, have always been about these tiny things. Because female power, female strengths have no value on this earth.
Therefore, as I train to be a teacher in human rights, I know I represent the meek. Despite the fact that this website is all about you, my work is not actually about you. It is about the people you abuse by the very fact that you exist. The Lemurian heirarchy of this evil world. You.
And to train to teach the meek, I am the meek as the non meek. That enrages me. And I am finally ready to take responsibility for that. I have to apply mythical levels of work on every single mediocre goal I have achieved. And now, yet again, it is another mediocre goal, another stepping stone to my real life. A fiscally and artistically rewarding life.
And I have to do it, based on the truth that men are mad and have no love. I am ready to do that too.
I am a champion being forced to live Cinderella mediocrity of existence. The psychological draining that you have imposed on me for three years has blocked me in my tracks. That is how great I am and anyone who is reading this who is the meek should hopefully learn to do the same thing. These things are so deceptive and it is our pride that stands in the way. That is a valid emotion and highly understandable.
The truth however is that this is not our world. The permanent crucifixions are due to Lemurian cruelty, madness and amorality. And therefore, even though we are not mediocre at all, we are forced to do everything on the mediocre level. For mediocre goals.
There is however nothing mediocre about hating where you live. The new mythical journey. However long it takes.
When I was crippled, I had to spend half a year diagnosing myself and finding out all about the body because of the insane diagnoses I was given. And that was with chronic nerve pain, stuck down both legs, permanently. Every single thing I have had to do has been a mythical journey. Breaking through the madness of the family, breaking through the madness of society and now breaking through the madness of men.
And I intend to remember today that I am a champion and nothing to do with mediocrity. Finding a new flat is now my mythical journey. And thankfully, nothing whatsoever to do with men, love or relationship.
'Make the climb'. For men, that means huge journeys. For women, it means the smallest things. The championship therefore is ten times as such. Because it means giving up so much pride. And that just makes us greater. Always.
There is a whole underclass in this world that you know nothing about. The world you fuck up every day with your neglect, cruelty and selfishness. This story is so generic it is terrifying. Women have to leave men. Men are mad. Our journeys have to be small and mythical.
And we still love. That makes us great. But to finally not have to rely on a man, is bliss. I am to make the climb again. Sisyphus is back. And once again, she is not stopping. She never has.
This is not a journey to find a new tiny flat in a tiny life. This is a Titan Queen leaving Tartarus. The dripping ectoplasm walls of hell. And indeed, leaving the mad sentry that was born to try and fuck me up. The nuisance neighbour, secretly hired by you. That is greatness. Making everything mythical. Then, the motivation comes. And that is why nothing can kill me. The life of a mistress. The life of an artist. The life of a vulnerable human being. The life of a woman. A great great great life of heroism. Heroism for the meek. Heroism for Atlanteans. Leaving men. Never having to wait for you ever again. Whatever it takes.
I am a Titan. What about you.
AZR © 2014
In other words, I have to face the truth that I have given my life no value, while waiting. I am an ex chattel. That is hardly surprising. I will be a teacher, who has made the whole journey to self worth myself. And indeed, the humility to recognise that my greatness makes 'omnipotent' men look like ants. Lazy, self indulgent, cruel, selfish, ants.
My life has value right now. I deserve good housing and will do whatever it takes. My life has value right now. I wait for no man and no harvest. My life has value right now. I have value. Me.
And as for you New York, New York, yes, I don't know. You might be a sincere fling, you might be the real thing. I don't know and don't care anymore about either of you. You are both insane and quite frankly, what's wrong with having both of you. You are only on the psychic level anyway.
My life has value right now. I can be with as many men as I want. I am free. I am not spoken for and no one wants me. I can be with ten men if I want to. No one has asked me anything specific. Not even a hello. I owe nothing to anyone. I am free.
I clear 'no man's land'. I like two men. So what. Neither of them are in front of me. I only attract watchers. And certainly, not the angel kind.
My work is Tartarus. I am a Titan. Alone. And I attract ordinary men.
My life has value now and not just at the harvest of my life. I deserve something that no man can give me. Love. Abundance. Justice. And most certainly, a good life.
AZR © 2014
And you know what is the worst thing about all of thi
s. Not the lack of love, not the madness, not the cruelty, not the neglect, not the window shopping addiction that you have, not any of that, not the climbing out of the mire of poor housing and Tartarus. The worst thing is this. I wanted only one thing in life in relation to men. I wanted to find a man I could respect.
Now I have to face the awful truth that I never did. I respect no man. And doubt I ever will.
That is sad. I beat myself out of thousands of levels of idealism about men. Based on political wrongs that men are in this world and the truth that this world would have ME live in Tartarus, while godless profanity of existence runs riot - and I mean, the normal, cerebral, spiritless world of the so called Intelligentsia - the Patriarchal piggery that runs this world, and that would call me 'Morgana' for even drawing attention to male evil. I beat myself out of thousands of level of idealism. But I still wanted to respect the man I love.
I respect no man. And doubt I ever will. That is sad. Really really sad. You are all fools. That is truly sad. But believe me, I will get over it. Men are fools. My life has value right now as me. I make the climb. I will make it. I will get out of Tartarus, stage one. And never stop until I reach the top of the mountain. And I will do it alone. I respect no man anymore. I respect nothing. But me.
AZR © 2014
My New Dream. AZR
And therefore I announce my new dream. I don't care about love anymore, I don't care about the harvest anymore, that I have been told about for 25 years, I don't care about my careers or my purpose or changing the world or helping others. I care about one thing. My home. That is all I care about and all that the next year of my life will be about, I am sure. I care about nothing other than my own life and my new home. I release all other dreams. I don't want them and I no longer care about them. I care about me and my present life. I care about my new home.
And then, I will return to my wonderful work. Men, I will never return to. Men are done. I've slept with a man in the same bed about five times in my life anyway. I have never been wanted. Now, I don't want any of you. The world belongs to you. Have it. I just want to make my own life work and then contribute in my small way to others. The rest can go fuck itself. I don't want it and at least have had it beaten out of me forever. Unless a woman is a slave to a man, a mother to a man, she will be killed. Fuck it. Fuck you. And fuck your stupid, ugly, weak, pathetic world. I don't want it. I never did.
AZR © 2014
This century and this millennium may 'belong to women'. But women have to pay the price.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Okay. AZR
Okay. Yes, I freaked out. Yes, I am scared of being whore and madonnered again. Yes, I am going out of my mind with exhaustion and the oppression of my living quarters, no, I don't want to feel like a victim, even though I have just experienced seven years of isolation and abuse, yes, I need your help, no, you are not free, yes, I want you to be, yes, I am desperately trying to motivate myself to find a new home, yes, I want you to rescue me, no, I don't want to be a burden, yes, I love you. Yes, I will believe in you. Even though you are a man, yes, I will try and trust that you are as desperate as me to be. And yes, I am grieving the shocks of my life and trying not to include you in that, even though your selfishnesses are similar and as misogynistic. Yes, I am trying to see you as someone new and willing to accomodate a real woman, who is a Lolita too, yes, I am freaking out with the pressure of it all, once again, yes I will try and cope. Somehow. And try and find a new place too, but make you plan A and try and be your friend, ie, relaxed and in receiving mode, but singleminded about what I want from plan A. And try and trust. But freak out anyway as I am that miserable and that scared of being let down again, especially as it is all on the psychic.
I will hear the guidance and try and believe it.
Laters new love.
AZR © 2014
On the other hand, old love, who knows. Basically, I can't handle any of it anymore. So I am letting go of both of you. What will be will be. And I am detaching from both of you and just focusing on my grief and self sufficiency and letting go. I can't handle love anymore. Because it's all been too much and I think it is much better to accept the truth of that. I don't know who I want anymore, because I don't know what is possible.
And with you, I am looking back at the horror of the past seven years and I really don't know if I can ever forget. And looking at him and seeing nothing but the same for the future.
So, I do keep trying to hear the answers. There are none. So, I am just going to settle into London now. And search for that new humble home and know that I may have to forgive you one day. Or not. And I may be approached by him one day. Or not.
And that is probably the only attention it deserves really. Men do not love. They may one day. I am going to love myself. And keep to myself. And bear the oppression until I can move. At least I will be doing it myself. The new life. Me.
AZR © 2014
I've lost courage. That's what it is. It's true. I have no courage for love left anymore. It's all gone. I feel good about admitting that. I have no courage when it comes to love anymore. I don't have any muscle left. It's all gone. Know thyself and then one knows what one needs. I need another human being in the involvement. To give ME courage. How wonderful to know that I am allowed to be human too. I have absolutely no courage, faith or anything left. And I feel bloody proud of that. Any man wants me, they will have to spell it out. Phew. Glad my job in it is done. I need a man to give ME courage in love now. That is simply great.
In other words, let's focus on anything but. Because no man will ever come or do that! I'm a little person on my own. I am going to get used to that. Acorns. Acorns. I will rise. Alone.
Byeeeeeeeeeeee
AZR © 2014
You Or Nothing. Amera Ziganii Rao
My decision is made and I annunce too.
New York, you picked me up after a terrible journey. And a terrible feeling of rejection from Cuba. But you are not the one for me.
You are, Mark. You know you are. There are two things I have done tonight. First is forgiveness and second is the commitment to find the courage to love you again. To believe truly that 'love is the only thing that is real'.
It's you or no one.
Now, what happens with that is up to you. I will forge ahead, if I have to, on my own.
But it is you, has always been you and will always be. It is the courage I needed again, to trust you after your recent revelations and meanderings and blah, bah, blah.
It's you. And I am at peace. Make the harvest now. I love you.
Please, love me too.
It is you who are 'the new wonderful and spiritual man, who is so selfish, etc'. The new you. As was always the plan. Love me. I love you.
xx
AZR © 2014
I can say on other thing though, to both of you, as I do feel great love for both of you.
I want the one who is an unhappy as I am, alone. And I want him to want me now. That's what I want. I want to be loved now. I want to be rescued and I want to be loved. Now.
Or, nothing at all.
Please.
And thank you.
I want the one who loves me. Who really loves me. Now.
AZR © 2014
....and I think that is you, New York, New York, and not you, Marcus, Cuba. Anyway, the whole thing feels completely insane now. But I suppose faith and tenacity and the courage to live in the imagination are the most important things now.
I feel torn between what to do next, more torn about that quite frankly, than about who I love, with the intention to be with. I can't help feeling like I am waiting for some miracle right now, even though on the surface that seems ridiculous.
I am currently watching Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie. This mother is absolutely desperate to get her 'crippled' daughter married off. In this 1950 version, a young Kirk Douglas is her prey. But with Tennessee Williams usual pathos and brilliance, the play is showing the bizarre hardships of being female and poor and then of course also an insanely ambitious woman vicariously living through her offspring and so on. It makes me feel like I am a nutter too. But this is what I have been asked to do so I am and again, I suppose it comes down to faith and believing in magic.
Again.
And you, New York, make me believe in magic again.
Anyway, I am inching forward with my own little life too and have realised that despite appearances, I can negotiate for new housing. I am not on the surface, high priority, because I have a flat. But this pest who lives above, who is truly a pest and a nuisance, is actually the material I can use to my advantage. I have a catalogue of ridiculous behaviour to report and while my own housing association couldn't give a shit, I am going to apply to every single authority and use this abuse. So, I feel alchemically good about that and that is the main thing with alchemy. To know how to use life to move forward, whatever is going on.
But still miserable and suffocated, but I don't want to push or bully or manipulate or do any of these pathetic things, so I will persevere with both things. Telling you I need you and feeling very at peace about my feelings and also take responsibility for my own life, meanwhile. I have a legitimate need to be rescued but I am not asking for anything from anyone that they are not prepared to give. It seems like such a bizarre thing to be involved with in the 21st century as a self sufficient woman, but fate is bizarre and I just have to follow what is going on, what gives me meaning, hope and faith and belief in magic.
You, Cuba, and I, I think, have seen the writing on the wall. We are, I feel, being forced to let go and must not get carried away by the sentimentality of this, despite the authentic temptation to do so. Late night wishes do not really count anymore, despite the fact that I was asked to annunce last night. Living in the moment is precarious, embarrassing and nakedly true. But daylight usually makes me feel these days that I don't feel you at all.
And in that I think is the truth.
Thank you and I am getting back to The Glass Menagerie.....
and leaving you (New York) to generate the magic. If, indeed it really is there. I feel it is. Time will tell.
AZR © 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txhFpBmhKRo&index=22&list=PLs_F_vpTsWWN__PDYTr0WQFwJ76oQEK1g
Consciousness = Love. Amera Ziganii Rao
Wow. So now, the work is merging with the personal again, consciously. At last.
Consciousness. Cuba, I am going to both apologise to you and tell you that we are most definitely over and have no qualms about saying that. It's not easy for me, but the truth has now begun to emerge and the consequences are both terrifying and overwhelming. And indeed, finally, of hope.
I am being groomed by my 'producer' always, to be a kind of Karl Marx and Carl Jung together. This is my voice as it is emerging, as well as all that is me obviously. This confuses me as often as it makes sense to me. The emergence of my authentic voice is an extraordinary journey of self discovery, one that you have watched and worked alongside for four years now.
I look to this quote today....
It is the truth, a force of nature that expresses itself through me - I am only a channel - I can imagine in many instances where I would become sinister to you. For instance, if life had led you to take up an artificial attitude, then you wouldn't be able to stand me, because I am a natural being. By my very presence I crystallize; I am a ferment. The unconscious of people who live in an artificial manner senses me as a danger. Everything about me irritates them, my way of speaking, my way of laughing. They sense nature. Carl Jung
Now, what does that mean for us and what does that mean for New York and me and what does that mean for my work and indeed those who I am being asked to reach.
The issue with my neighbour is central to this. Embarrassing and crippling as it is, in this pathetically small life of abuse and trauma I am leading. As I take on self responsibility and I see what it is that I have to do, I can now see what is going on.
So often, for instance, I find myself asking myself if I am just really slow and really this and really different from others in so many ways and all the rest. Obviously I am taken with so much self doubt.
Now, looking at Tennessee Williams The Glass Menagerie is also relevant. That was my first journey and largely helped by you Cuba for sure. I had already attained so many levels of self worth and had overcome so many levels of 'inferiority complex' as the play says.
And since then, the externals have been absolutely mind numbing and oppressive, from you to this neighbour to the blank faces of the housing association to the part time job bosses I had and so on. Absolutely horrendous and mind numbing and I have broken through every situation, just as I had to break through my family and all those I have known.
The inner freedom journey and the outer freedom journey, one could say for sure. But what does that mean and what is it and what does it have to do with you and why is New York any different?
So....first, the recognition has finally, tragically come that while you love me, really love me, you do not have the ability to reach my levels of consciousness. Consciousness, let's say, being the ability to know who you are and what you do and to be able to control and engineer the emotional self, so that you can change your behaviour patterns into the next level of existence, step by step, until you heal the wounded ego that we are all born with.
In other words, like my mother in particular, but like my whole family and many many people I have known, you do not have the ability to move forward. Now, you may be on a higher level, but that is not a given for one second, because the next period of my life is to examine all that that means and what is consciousness and how does it apply, sort of thing. The amount of intelligence we have, the amount of education we have, the amount of psychological work we have done, of course adds to how advanced we might be in consciousness or not.
However, and this is still very fuzzy for me, lack of consciousness means lack of consciousness. Now, when I look at my neighbour, he reflects sadly who you are. This is the kind of person who one can appeal to again and again and try and 'guide' again and again, by leading with particular behaviour for instance and that person may be able to listen for a short while and then they begin to do the same thing again, until you tell them again and then they will change again for a short while and then regress again and so on.
That is you. That is him, that is you. The visceral significances of my life are horrendous. But very very useful for the work and actually, like with my mother and family, not your fault.
Now, what does one do with that. And I talk generally as well as about you, because I know how painful this is for both of us, me and you I mean and not myself and my neighbour!!
I will give you the interpretation of his behaviour for instance. He follows me around my flat, from above. He stands and listens to me as I am musing. He thumps around whenever I begin writing or typing and he seems to need to make as much noise as possible all the time. And at night, he will go to the toilet about ten times a night. He is completely psychic and over sensitive. I cannot believe and neither can anyone else, that he even hears me, but he does. The minute I move, he moves too. The minute I go into the bedroom at night, which is now my wardrobe as I have had to move my bed into the living room, I silently, SILENTLY shift a piece of clothing and he flips out of his bed and does his usual toilet flushing abuse. And so on. It is quite extraordinary. And of course, the fact that the ceilings are paper are his responsibility too, which he has never bothered to do anything about, despite my attempts to help financially and all the rest.
I have suggested that he wears earplugs. He won't. Now, other than the fact that I am not saying any of this now to emotionally blackmail New York for one second, as I have now understood the need for self responsibility despite my horrendous circumstances, I am saying it for the purposes of both the exploration of consciousness and to tell you why we are over.
He likes hearing me. He thumps around as if he doesn't and has tried to bully me into putting down my (very reasonable levels of) music, but he likes it. He likes the suffocating atmosphere of us practically sardined into this double flat together. He likes it, despite all his protestations. He likes it because that is his way of projecting his immense loneliness. If I thought my life was solitary, his is more. He sits in his living room all day, reading. That is all he does. Other than following me around and TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION.
That is what he is trying to do all the time. Desperately, angrily and enthusiastically.
Now, what does that mean. When I was told that you and I were incompatible, (and I didn't know that was you as there were men before you of course) I of course have been looking at the externals. Because with your level of psychic, I couldn't believe that it meant anything else.
As my exploration of this complete unknown continues and I develop slowly the knowledge of Hierophant and The High Priestess and all that is The Lost Knowledge, the sad truth is emerging. They were talking about consciousness. The ability to know oneself and the ability to change oneself, let's just say, is consciousness. The ability therefore, to become higher and higher love. Love as you well know, is not just compassion, and I trip up on that all the time, love being LOVE INTELLIGENCE. Higher mind intelligence. The Universal Mind. The ability to get it basically.
The ability to take responsibility for one's own emotions, the ability to not need, the ability to bear the pain of existence in each moment and the ability to love and trust and be love. Mine being tested to the ultimate now, with the new journey. Mine, which have always been tested, due to the fact that I was clearly born with very high love intelligence, into a world where it hardly exists.
Hence, the so called inferiority complex. In other words, and this applies to New York too, as I see it in him, those of us who do not find earth comfortable or who find it a place where we have to find our own pace of existence and ways of existence, who breathe with the artistic heart and mind, recognised or not, have high love intelligence. Selfish or not, misogynistic or not, scared or not, etc. The more the inferiority complex one begins with, the higher the love intelligence. And that is aside from and totally exacerbated by things such as being female, being non white, being disabled, being of a goddess body and all the rest.
In other words, the real, 'sensitive' nature. Not just of soul. But consciously of soul. And trying to find meaning and a place in life with that.
Lemurian or not, I feel so far that New York - and I may be wrong again, but I don't feel so - has what you do not have. He has what I have not seen before. A Lemurian who has high love intelligence.
In other words, my sweet, you and my neighbour and my mother, the person I have also spent a great deal of time with, have the same lack of consciousness. And for that I am sorry that I have almost bullied you into a higher love intelligence.
I know why, speaking in general now, why people have always said to me that I expect the best and that I am a perfectionist and that I can't be pleased and all the rest. And I can only see, referring back to the Jung quote why most people are fascinated and highly addicted to me, but who do not like me for one second.
Why they think I am weird. And why I hate the whole fucking world. And don't want to be in for one second. And why I have had to use every single piece of grace and courage to remain in it at all, let alone thrive in it as I have made sure I can, for at least the past fifteen years. That was my belligerent climb. To make sure I could exist and to make sure I wanted to exist.
You probably think I am weird too, however much you love me.
And to you, I am. To my neighbour I am. To the endless people I have asked for help with this situation, I am. And to the others I will now have to go to in my new campaign to LEAVE this man - because that is all one can do to someone of lower consciousness - I will have to ascertain who will and who won't in one second, as I get more skilled at it.
I had to do the same thing with the diagnosis for my disability. The same thing for everything I have done in life. Integrity is a nebulous word. It doesn't take into account the why. The why is because I am of a higher love intelligence. That means truly, being a fish out of water.
And the other end of the spectrum is a shark. A consciousness shark. 99 percent of the world. And sadly, those who are closest to us. And as I look at New York, if he truly has this KIND of level or flavour of consciousness, he will be finding the same with his nearest and dearest too.
In our world of The Lost Knowledge, this is what is so painful and what takes so long. To understand what the fuck is going on and it is the truth of the 'outgrowing' someone.
Other than the tragedy that I never thought I would outgrow you. I already knew much of this when we met, but I most certainly did not know as much or indeed, why.
I of course, did not know how high I am and I say that with suitable but actually inappropriate humility. I am High Priestess and an Atlantean Elder. I am from The Mothership. I could have died on any day I have lived on this earth. And you truly did 'give me peace in lifetime of war' (Wolfgang Peterson's Troy) before you became my nemesis from hell. But that is done. We are at peace.
And I look at Marx and I look at Jung and I know why I am a prophet. A prophet is a POLITICAL spiritual. And as I have said before, change one's own life, means changing the world. And proved by this latest carbuncle of oppression, this neighbour and his belligerent need to be addicted to me, modern warfare is only one thing. Leaving people. First, and I am watching Les Miserables at the moment, it was the state of corruption we were always being asked to fight and in most of the world, that is still a disastrous reality, and of course everywhere in the west too, if you are poor and don't belong, but now is a different war and very middle class and very privileged and again, why no one cares and why no one knows.
The differences in consciousness and the psychological warfare of existence. And the weapon is only one. Leaving. As has been proved with you and every other person I have ever had to leave, there is always a long period of time of negotiation and attempts to create some sort of bridge. Always and it always takes years and years. Because The Lost Knowledge is lost.
Real Priesthood in the real times of this world would have been a time when everyone knew about this and where my standing in society and women like me and people like me, would have been honoured as they were misunderstood. We would have been authentic spiritual teachers who never had to fight the kind of life I am still having to fight.
In other words, I should be protected from people like this neighbour, through, sadly, to you. This is why I get so angry and frankly, arrogant about it. I am lost in a world of shark consciousness and there is no way out other than to keep leaving. And as you can see from my endless pleas and moaning, these apparently small things are very hard and very difficult to overturn.
Not least because to do the kind of work I do is very taxing and along with my disability and my position i society, as a woman and as a person everyone demands mothering from and gives nothing, and so on...you know the rest. I am shaman. It is very very very hard work. And my tragedy is that no one cares and no one knows. And all those like me on earth are the same. And it is them my work will help. We need to know what to do and how to survive on this earth. Because we are very special people and must not die. Of course, my spiritual connection, my direct channel is the balance. And that's what it is for. And why the age of Ascension is for people like me.
Anyway, great revelations today and very sad and very clear. Leaving is all higher consciousness can do. And this is why.
And New York, I feel that this could be the real truth of us. I feel your consciousness is very high and that is why they talked of you being a spiritual man but selfish. In other words, misogyny and all that you have raced through, from what I can see so far, is external. It is not about your levels of understanding or consciousness and that this is why you are the one for me. You are entering an Atlantean state of existence. And I am waiting to see the greatest miracle of all. Another one, healing into soul completely. Or at least near enough for now.
That's it for now. A lot to take in. And why there is the massive difference between someone who can integrate it emotionally as well as cerebrally and even intellectually.
Meanwhile, I now begin the campaign to leave a consciousness shark yet again. Les Miserables indeed, but at least I can be proud that I am not just making the journey from the grassroots - I am certainly not just a theorist - I have reams of details to teach from. The madness of the human race.
Which I forgive, as I leave.
AZR © 2014
The Path Alone. Amera Ziganii Rao
And just to make it clear. In theory, it could be either of you who make it to soul. That is true and both of you should be encouraged as everyone should.
However, lack of consciousness means the lack of ability or willingness to love. So I have to accept at last, that I am completely alone on this godless planet and that spiritual genius means shit. There is no one to care and no one who gives a shit. Because there is no love consciousness or intelligence.
Time for me to make the climb, again. To climb out of the mire alone, again. And what is the mire? The total lack of human consciousness, the total lack of love intelligence on this planet.
Leaving this flat, leaving this moronic specimen of human orkness, is to leave the world of men, the ordinary world and the world of anyone who apparently could care or share resources or most importantly, offer friendship or protection or kindness. There is no kindness in men. And again, especially in Lolita men.
So, I clear everything and clear the understandable resentment and begin my new life alone. With friends. That's nice and not to be taken for granted. But that's all it is. Male attention.
I am alone and finally accept it. I will now put all my energy into climbing out of the mire and proving that I am the all. Because I can do it all. It was just going to take Les Miserables and overcoming the beast that is this godless planet of hell. And that, unfortunately for me includes both of you too. And the lovely 'Other' from last year too. You are all part of the mire. You have no love consciousness. You are like the man above. Ordinary. Until you can prove yourselves in the opposite way to me. I have to prove myself now in your world. And that takes nothing now, other than overcoming resentment and rage. Everything else, I have already done. It's all ready. Me.
And I am not alone. I am very firmly with Her. She holds me now. I am a happy untouchable. I am with Her. And I will get all my strength and power from Her. I intend to no longer need anyone. No one has ever given me anything. No one has to anymore. I am alone.
AZR © 2014
There is no kindness in the world of men. Consciousness is above all, kindness. Ergo, the whole world is unconscious. There is no kindness in the world of men. Men are for cock. Cock comes right at the end. And that is all men are. The rest is lies, wasting your life and giving yourself for nothing. There is no kindness in the world of men. The world of men is not conscious. Consciousness is love intelligence. There is none in the world of men and the women like them. Look around at the world. It speaks for itself and no man stands out as yet. Ascension indeed. There is no kindness in the world of men. There is only useless selfishness and distraction. It's called cock. Cock is men. Men are cock. There is no kindness in the world of men. They deserve no kindness from us. Ever again.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
New York. The Future. AZR
Well, I don't disagree with you, New York. At the same time, you might understand my dilemma. It is true that if I believe in you, it means that I can see a demarcation between you and Cuba and even you, and The Other. I am in this terrible position in life, both physically and emotionally because of Cuba and not you. And it is because of Cuba. I blame him entirely and refuse to take responsibility for anything that has happened to me in the past four years. The reason is that 15 years ago, when my disability hit, I asked both my parents (divorced) for help. Minimal help. They both refused, independent of each other, unless I gave up my (former lovely) flat and went and lived with them. That is the height of conditional hate love and I refused and starved for the next four years. The state helped for a short while and then of course did help with housing costs.
The same thing happened four years ago with Cuba. He told me that if I decided to have a career, I would be refused his love. Then of course it turns out that he had another woman after his wife, all the time. So, yes, I can demarcate him and you into different categories.
But my problem now is that even if I were to have faith (what's that) that you are different, that you are an honourable man, because he clearly is not, I am in a chronically needy position. It is inevitable that I will end up getting angry and needy and blame you. Because you, like all the others are insane because your idea of love is psychic. For now. Even if I were to have trust, it is still insane and cruel.
And I do not have the stamina to make the climb on my own out of this flat - it is not like a private rented flat where I can go and get a new one tomorrow, it is getting on the laborious lists of exchanges or bidding for a new flat which also takes ages - and yes, I am contemplating just going for a private rented flat, but have to find out what benefits can cover it and all the rest - I do not believe I am sharing all this on a blog - I do not have the stamina to make the climb on my own out of this flat - this disability is extremely disorientating as well, by the way - and give you love and friendship and any investment, without getting anything back from you, other than psychic communication. I don't have any stamina or will left.
So, yes, I can see you as potentially different and should talk about him - Cuba - when I talk about lack of kindness. But I have not seen anything else in men since the day I was born. My father loved me until I was eight. He loved no one else and certainly not me after that, so I have never seen Lemurian love or male love in my life, for anyone other than little children. And that about sums up Lemuria. An unconscious mass of hate.
Lemuria is an unconscious mass of hate.
So, sure. You may be different. You will have to prove that. First, by saying hello one day. Then we can begin. And not until then, because I have to now leave behind this destiny, and forget I was ever given a love destiny promise and see it as something that happened as it did and something that may happen a long time into the future. I can't do anything else and I think you can understand that even if you don't want to.
If I have to make the climb, I have to do it alone. And that means throwing love out of the window. It's a complete liability and makes me feel needy. I have conquered neediness in every single way that exists. This is too hard because I am in a terrible position and there is no one I can go to for one second, other than the authorities on my own. I am very grateful they exist. I have no family and no man and no friends. I have clients. Universal love friendships that do indeed keep me going but that is that.
And that is about consciousness. Everyone wants my services. Close relationships always end up one sided. And that is about consciousness. And no one pays for anything. Which is why it has to be a business or nothing else and that of course is the message. My people have to stop giving and start charging. Otherwise they end up like me. We all want to express our particular gifts. Well, mine are very very deceptive. Because its called motherhood. I am a High Priestess. And there ain't no job description like that on earth. The personal development market is dominated by men just like any other. Women do it from birth, who are like me. Monetising emotional care is my business and my message. Proved by my circumstances.
So, what would happen is this. I would end up doing the same for you, because I would have hope and then you would continuously let me down and not even make contact and this time next year, I would still be in this damn flat with this damn man.
You get the picture.
So, yes, you may love and have love and be in love. So what. I need too much and therefore cannot afford to be in a love situation. I have to make the climb alone. So I will do it, truly alone. I am fed up of being needy and embarrassing myself. Men give nothing. So, I will too. Any destiny I have with love is nebulous right now. So I had better write it off completely for now. I can't afford to believe. It just gets me into trouble and I still get nothing. Not even earth based communication. I get it. I'm gone. For now. And no one is more sad or resentful than me. Which is how strong and powerful I am. I am still doing it. I am making the climb. Alone.
And as for you Cuba, I will never have justice with you. I have to learn how to live with that. But know that I will always blame you. And always know that you are not an honourable man. You are nothing.
Thank you and goodnight.
AZR © 2014
But you know what, New York, actually it goes further than that. I don't see why I should hold out for love in the future at all. With anyone. Fuck my love destiny. I don't want it anymore. You and I may have just met, but so what. It's already been a month. That is long enough. If you are really in love. So, I promise you nothing either. I am done with men. Don't want any of you anymore. Why should I. Exactly. No reason in the entire world. I want to give nothing to men. You are not worth it. Any of you.
Thank you and definitely, good night.
AZR © 2014
....which means that I am a Mistress Divorcee. That will be in the dictionary one day. It should be.
I got the attention (love) when I needed it. You may have given me nothing Cuba, but you still gave me more than any man has given me. 'Why do you go for unavailable men?' is one mediocre question, posed by society. Because that is all a woman like me can get. Crumbs of love. At least I got some, for seven years. That is a marriage for me. And some of it was pure bliss. The first three years. Before I knew the truth. The truth about men. Mistress Divorcee. I intend to never need anything from a man ever again. I have been desired. That is enough. That, presumably is the best of men anyway.
Crumbs of love. The world of men.
AZR © 2014
Responsibility. Amera Ziganii Rao
Men who don't take responsibility. From the man upstairs to you. Men who don't take responsibility. I attract men who do not take responsibility for their feelings. This has nothing to do with levels of consciousness.
I therefore release men and intend total responsibility for my own life and total focus, only on my own life. I take responsibility, for both my feelings and my life. I take responsibility for no one else, ever again. Men do not take responsibility for their feelings. Men therefore have no right to relationship. Men do not take responsibility for their feelings, their committments or their friendships. A mistress is a relationship. Men do not take responsibility. The Adam world. Truth or no truth from biblical nonsense, truth is that no man takes responsibility for his feelings. Men deserve nothing from me.
I clear the last obstacle to greatness. Men.
AZR © 2014
Freedom. Amera Ziganii Rao
I feel so damn good, that I had to gloat. I deserve to, after all that you as men have put me through. All three of you actually, but especially you of course Cuba. And I am not even angry anymore. Just free. I was healed last night. Visited with a huge flash of colour in my sleep as angels or guides whooshed through me. I no longer belong to men. I am healed.
Spent all day looking at options for my new abode. And truly enjoyed being alone, planning alone and envisioning my new life. First stop, new flat. Last stop, Docklands and beyond. The world. My achievements, my wealth, my training for greatness, my Priesthood return, me, me, me and me.
And frankly - and this will sound so mean - I know now that you are all losers and that I am a winner. I am consciousness. You are not. Misogyny makes you losers. However, I can share something with you too, which I have covered before and that I am examining again, because I am finally getting to see Darren Aronofsky's Noah.
In fact, I can't. It's too much right now as you probably know with me and film. It will take a few more viewings for me to speak.
But I can say one thing right away. I and my people probably exist because of one thing. Noah, not killing the girl twins.
I don't know the accuracies of the background yet. Both Darren Aronofsky's imagination/channelling and the 'truth' from the 'bible'. But I see this. It is my world that was destroyed, not evil, by the flood. Atlantis. The old ancient world. The world of crystal healing, Clair cognisance, and a thousand years and more apiece as lifespan. The world of The Temple Society. The world of the Sacred Whore High Priestesses and Priests.
David Icke, the Draconian conspiracy writer, talks of the false reality of this world and if you recall, the forcefield that the Draconians put over this world was lifted around 1997, when I first met the real Divinity, funnily enough. God is the Draconian leader, or Zeus, as I am sure he is also known as. Adam was indeed made in God's image. His.
The ancient world was destroyed, as apparent evil and of course, anyone who has followed my sporadic deliveries so far, has also heard that the so called Garden of Eden is about The Temple, the real ancient world and of course, me as the Serpent, the High Serpent Priesthood that was banished and that became 'the meek'. Forced to live on my belly as I am, in comparison to the corrupt and fascist element of this world. You.
The new world, the better new world apparently - and look around, isn't it just such a great world - made women slaves and breeders. And all our spiritual gifts were torn away from us until the forcefield was opened and our right to education fought for again, against the likes of you.
My disability is about the unwillingness to walk this earth. As I slowly heal and fight for my right to exist, as the true me, both in the face of misogyny and of course in the seat of my rightful knowledge, and Clair cognisant shamanic link to the real Divinity, the disability is being rehabilitated. Through 'alternative methods'. The methods that conventional medicine scoffs at. They would have me have hundreds of operations with their butcher knives. Your world. Scientific medicine and nothing else. Chiropractic for instance is hardly accepted even now and the preference is that everyone is drowned with drugs and painkillers for back pain, when chiropractic would heal a vast amount of back pain across the so called civilised world.
I am meandering but you get the point. More viewings will produce more Clair cognisance and I am glad I am going to be taking it slowly. 'Persuading' you as the non serpent people is one thing. But knowing who I am and who my people are is the main quest of course. And it makes me look at you Cuba and you, New York and you, The Other and it makes me see that the personal is one thing and of course the main thing I have been focusing on. But now there are three of you as 'friends' and now that I have stepped away from all things personal with you, other than psychic companionship and sex, I see how big this is spiritually, 'biblically' and Atlantis wise. You are the stooges of the Draconians.
Noah saves the twin girls magically infused by Methuselah. The ones he has been instructed by 'The Creator' to kill, if they are female. If the child or children had been male, he would have been allowed to spare them. I wonder why.
It makes me wonder about the rampant killing of female babies across the world. Why do you think that is?
In other words, my friends, and these are just headlines of course, I am the anomaly. I am not supposed to be here. A gobby ancient world prophet sacred whore goddess. I should have been one of the babies killed. Instead, I was born to education, Noah like parents who couldn't kill me even though they really tried, metaphorically and I was born an Aquarian in the age of Aquarius. I am one of the most important anomalies on earth and many like me I am sure. The real world, returned.
Noah didn't kill them. The twin girls. Don't know if that is from story or from the director. I thought Noah was banished for having sex like everyone in the bible seems to be. And of course, he banishes himself out of guilt and shame. Such was the influence of The Creator. If that all happened before the forcefield, is it not highly probable that shapeshifting seduced a people into believing that 'magic' was Divinity?
Of course it was. The threat, the massive power, the so called killing of wickedness. If that was really the case, what the fuck is going on today and why wouldn't 'The Creator' wipe things out now? I would have thought this was a fuck of a lot worse. But oh no.
What wickedness? People lived to over a thousand years. And wisdom ran the world. Suddenly we are born to a barren world with a lifespan of about two. With primitive medicine, brutal science that took thousands of years to even arrive, that almost reminds one of Nazi medical experiments. And of course, rampant child birth and patriarchy, patriarchy, patriarchy and female slavery of a kind I cannot even really speak about yet, it is so huge and integral and endemic.
And then you. The men. The men who are so terrified of bringing real women into their homes, that you treat us like Noah holding the knife over the female twins.
Think about it. As I go off and become great now, alone and happy, yes, I mean actually happy - there is nothing more tedious for me or worse, that trying to bring people along with me and I did it because I thought you were as fast and I had no idea things were so fucked up and bad on earth and how you are my direst enemies, unbeknown to you - you need to examine your own imaginations. You already know.
You carry terrible fear about a Draconian overlord called Zeus. The world calls him 'God'. Change that emotional state and you will find your freedom. And treasure the female twins. They are all me. And women like me. The so called whores and mistresses and women you try so desperately to strangle out of existence, while being obsessed and torn apart over.
No I don't serve your world. Your world is a Draconian overlord who seduced you with magic. I serve Her. The Mother Universe. And yes, I can share with you the truth. I have met Her. I have met them all. The Celestial Council. The real Divine energies of this Universe. I'll say no more about it. But I can tell you what is real and I can tell the world too, because I work through spiritual logic as you know. How can anyone justify going from over a thousand years and the most advanced civilisation this earth has known, to the barbaric world we still inhabit today? You can't. Which is why you still try to kill me dead, despite yourselves. As Noah's daughter says to him, he chose love, which is why he couldn't kill them. Choose love. Love women like me. We are the past and we are the future. The world belongs to us.
Meanwhile, I am making the climb. And loving it. I have been given confidence, love as much as you could and companionship as much as you could. I thank you. And fly. I want you to fly too.
AZR © 2014
Cuba. The Future. AZR
Okay. Got it. Me too. A long journey first. Separately. You win. You get your way. Do what the fuck you want. And I will too. See you on the other side. I am off to find a new life. Anywhere, but here. Find me when you are ready. And I will decide then. Yes or no. My choice. Your worst nightmare. Will a woman love you if she doesn't need you. Aha. You do not yet deserve to know.
Laters.
New York, friends. The Other, still friends.
Men, done. The world, next. My world. No mustang killers allowed. I am busy. I am a superstar. Men must not be allowed near brilliant women. Men must not be allowed near women at all actually. But that's another story. Done.
AZR © 2014
Hate. AZR
....But I have to say to you Cuba, especially, that I hate you. I hate all of you actually. I think you are all insane, unworthy and cruel actually as a people, as you know. But I hate you Cuba. Not for another woman, not for this, not for that, not for whatever. She could be anyone. I know that. I do hate you for your cruelty towards me. I suppose objectivity should come in at this point, but actually why should it. I don't know if I can ever love you again. I will always be in love with you I suppose, yes. But to love you again? I don't know. I don't know if it is possible and I don't know why I should. So, yes, you get your way. But you also get my hate for it too. I am not just a goddess. I am human. And therefore I have to accept unrequited love, but know that you don't love anyone. You use women. You use her as you use me. There are no exceptions. And I am supposed to be impressed with that. I am not. Not being ready is one thing, not being of love is another thing, but to do what you have done is unacceptable. And yes, I do hold it against you, as I fly off. I do.
New York, I am watching you. And trying to be as uninterested in love as possible. Trying to give you friendship and the benefit of the doubt as we are new.
And that's the best I can do. I think that is a great deal. So, re-programming successfully out of love and relationship and also sex now. There is no point. It's all barren. All of it.
My greatness though is that I have gained and regained huge meaning of life. Me, my money and the world. My achievements. Me. I know now why Muhammad Ali was able to 'front' so well. Because by the time he did, he knew who he was. Me too. And I am the greatest. And I've only just begun.
Thank you. Here's to anything but love. Self love is the only thing that's worth it. Men suck. The only answer is to make the rite of passage and get it all out of one's system. Then, one can live. Because one knows the truth. Men are a lie. Earth is truly a tragic place of pretty psychopaths. Men. I am proud I tried. I am proud I have left it. It was not worth it at all. I have fought a great battle and survived, I have fought a great war and survived. And you are still not worth it. I accept. As I fly.
AZR © 2014
Your Insanity Accepted. As You And As A People. Amera Ziganii Rao
It’s time. It’s time for you to make a tough decision. Take a deep breath. Get still. Visualize the worst case scenario. After doing that, see your self having made the decision, stepping into your personal power, becoming more courageous and stronger. It’s time! Your mental well being, health and happiness are dependent upon you making this decision. If you don’t do it now, you will look at yourself one day and say “Why did I waste so much valuable time?” If you don’t do it now, you will regret it, and this situation will continue to take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically!
It’s been said that people delay making tough decisions ~ not because they don’t know what to do. They don’t make the tough decisions because they know what to do, but lack the courage and will to deal with the emotional consequences. You can do this!! See it done. You are now operating from a higher place of integrity and personal power and going to the next level in your life. You have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!
Les Brown
And guess what that decision is.
In fact, the decision goes deeper. Having reconciled with the people who have hurt me the most, other than you, Cuba, and the love and the lack of hesitation that they have greeted me with, has taken me onto new levels of understanding all over again. Other than the humility and also the self belief that it took this long and this much need for accountability and this much need for articulation and self exploration and indeed, self responsibility and suffering, for the truth to come out and for my own self discovery to be uncovered and gelled in me, it also shows that yes, in the future, long into the future, you could be an option again.
It also shows that I shouldn't give a flying fuck at the moment and should never bear that in mind whatsoever. I hate you now and will hate you for a long time. And I should. And I intend, within this hatred, to not be burdened by any rage or grief about you. You will not have any hold on me anymore and I don't want you in my psychic sphere anymore. You do not deserve to take any of my energy anymore.
As for you, New York, I do appreciate you, who you are and your attention. But I have a big question today and it affects all of you. Can any of you heal into love consciousness at all?
When The Other came into my life last year, he showed me the tragic truth that despite being able to deliver great art, unconsciously, he had no more love consciousness, or conscious consciousness - whatever we want to call it - than Cuba. A stunning revelation and now, you have proved the same thing it seems, all over again, even though in watching your psyche I have not quite made up my mind yet.
As Hierophant and Sacred Whore Goddess, that is my job.
When I first threw Cuba out last year, I knew that by then, I had largely discovered who I am, but I had not discovered who he is or 'you' as a collective and who 'you' were. I know who I was and who I am. I don't know all the details yet of the 'you'.
What I am looking at, as I am preparing to run from this life (with you) and into hiding for a long while, even, joyously from the beast above as I go quiet and mysterious, into my headphones, before coming back to articulate the truth on a large scale to the world, is that I have been speaking consciousness - unconsciously though I was - to people since about 16. Not one human being of your kind has ever changed or healed or improved in any way whatsoever.
And as I look at Cuba, I wonder if he actually understands anything that I have been delivering for four years. I really do not know. Is it consciousness per se or love consciousness? I don't know and at the moment, am only idly interested.
I only know that the people like me on this earth, the High Serpent Priesthood and the High Priesthood, primarily female, but also male and certainly of Atlantean blood, are the only ones I know who can heal. I have met some really good Atlanteans in the past six months and one in particular, read everything I have written and then immediately changed her life. Now, that is healing and someone who viscerally understands and BECOMES consciousness. Do you or 'you'? I really don't know anymore.
Apparently, the healing will come later. A year or two years or something like that.
Does that mean a worldwide new Ascension specifically against fascism and for the people on earth who are not Atlantean in any way? Probably. Do I care? Not really. It has been too painful to even be involved. So many times with Cuba, I have felt, frankly, like a crap teacher. That is not true and not the case and as I step away from him and you and 'you' as a people, I know that the people who are going to make me feel like a good teacher are Atlantean youth. The people who can change and who are just waiting for the right triggers. Which is all that a teacher really is and a prophet is just a teacher. We just teach love and GOD, The Great Mother Universe, as our subject, instead of maths or english.
So, good luck to all of you. I see love now, the central relationship of one's life, marriage or mistress involvement as one thing. A rite of passage, to be brutalised, raped, and emotionally torn apart and at the same time, a strange paternal holding of a sort of love too. Resembling the real, conscious process of child birth. Being born as a child from the womb of the pain of life. Through immense pain. Conscious, long, sustained, endless, uncared for, brutal pain. To be spat out onto earth, alone, rejected, apparently worthless, unwanted, hated and disregarded as anything other than 'the mad woman' who can't get love from anyone else and who 'should' just learn to love herself and forget love. And someone of course, apparently, who has something to feel embarrassed or ashamed of.
That is the love relationship for an Atlantean on earth and nothing less and nothing more.
And once it is survived, unless one dies or ends up insane or any of the other horrendous things that could happen to my people 'in love', the person transforms into godness and being a supergod.
I am now a supergod. A supergod who has been involved with the insanity of men. Who is a bloody expert in the field of so called love. And who now knows that no man, no Lemurian is worth shit.
For now.
Now, within that is compassion, understanding and tolerance. You have it and 'you' have it, rather as a psychiatrist gives to patients. For sure. Which is why I am running and running fast.
As I remove myself from the shadow of all that I have known - the monster from above my flat - the struggle to actually live, AND even care that he is alive - while I regroup and look for new housing, the first stepping stone to Docklands and all that is wealth, abundance and greatness, on my own, via the generosity and kindness of the people who bore me - those who housed me and hurt me first, before all of you - ie, somebody is listening to me and telling me I am not mad and that yes, I do have legitimate needs - I find the strange miracle of the return within me and the cycle ending and the circle closing.
It is me now who is whole. You and Cuba and 'you' as a people yawn with the cavernous nothing of evil. Tolerance. I give it. Attention. I no longer can.
It's too expensive to love your kind. Ascension is clearly about the return of Atlantis and the reformation of Lemuria. We are witnessing a miracle.
Now, what that means for you, New York is highly debatable. Are you conscious? Don't know. Can you heal, anymore than Cuba? Don't know. A new approach is needed. One of sincerity but complete, idle nonchalence. I no longer believe in the love of men. I believed it once. We will see.
But I have a story to tell. And what a story. 'You' have a lot of work to do. Work hard. And hope that The Universe, The Great Mother Universe hears you. You are after all Her beloved sons. You got me. For a while, you got me to look after you. You should feel very privileged. It cost me dear. But it made me a supergod.
AZR © 2014
....New York, I know it is probably a long one. Alone and for me, only about work now. For you, you've got another life to sort out, and indeed, to decide what you want. Cuba, I still hate you. I know you could be some destiny in the future. Cycles are real. But so what. It's still my choice. You are just no good. I grieve you.
AZR © 2014
...oh yes, and then there's that matter of dollybird beauties not being allowed to work. How complimentary for your wives and girlfriends. Oh, well, I get the desire. I'll use that in my life.
Thanks
AZR © 2014
Care. Amera Ziganii Rao
So, yes, Cuba, I know what you are saying to me and I know that what that is may be valid. The truth is though that I don't care because I am too angry and shocked at everything you are and everything that you have been and I know certainly that this applies to every man I have ever dealt with or am dealing with. I know it is generic.
"You don't beg average people to be phenomenal". I am training with motivational video now and am working my way through the resentment that I as yet in life, do not have any partner who gives a shit about anything that I am outside the bedroom or your bloody needs.
"You don't beg average people to be phenomenal" and that applies to New York, The Other and any man I have ever attracted. You are average because you don't care about females and because you are beyond selfish. You don't support my dreams. Fuck you.
So, a new life now. With people who do support me enough to at least care. For that I am very grateful, especially as I am in a place where I don't need anyone to do anything for my dreams. I love doing it all myself and do not have fear. What I have is massive resentment and fury and would like to burn the whole world down, beginning with all of you.
My own misogyny firing line.
But, fuck you. You are average beings who are nothing if you don't support the dreams of the woman you purport to love. You love fuck all, other than yourselves, so fuck you.
And me? I will get over this resentment and shock. And I will do it all and I will do it all myself. But no man will ever be allowed near me unless he has the humanity to love someone outside himself.
Darcy indeed. No attractiveness whatsoever. Men are definitely out of my system. You are a liability, mediocre, average and nothing. If you don't support the dreams of a woman, you don't deserve any woman. You most certainly do not deserve me.
See you, possibly, when I am done. I couldn't give a shit. Men were a complete waste of time. The beauty is that I finally know and have experienced the truth.
Now I am free. Now, I work to become, truly, free.
I was built with greatness and drive. No one can stop me. No one can get love from me, if they cannot prove they are worth loving. I am done with you. Now, it is all about me. And it is my rage and disrespect against you that keeps me going. I owe you nothing. I owe no man anything. Men are a piece of shit. Now, my life begins. Alone. You will never stop me. One day, you will stop trying. And I will be long gone.
AZR © 2014
...but make no mistake about it. My rage is all about you, Cuba. You are the one who may not survive. Why should you. You most certainly do not deserve it. Men are over completely for me. But you get a special position in that firing line. It is you who have abused me. You will have to do a great deal for me to ever change my mind about that, let alone anything else. You won. But I'm gone.
Fuck my love destiny. Fuck you.
AZR © 2014
Creator. Disturber. A Self Portrait. Amera Ziganii Rao Photography
AMERA ZIGANII RAO: A PROFILE
AMERA ZIGANII RAO: A PROFILE
Writer and Intellectual. Social, Cultural and Spiritual Commentator. Personal Development Coach and Communicator. Philosopher and Metaphysical Clair Cognisant (Prophetess, Hierophant and Esoteric Mystic). Theologian, Theosophist and Historian. Photographer, Graphic Artist. Designer, and Actor/Dramatist/Filmmaker. Feminist and Human Rights Advocate, and a Healer of Emotional Sicknesses and Self Discoveries on earth.
AMERA ZIGANII RAO :: AN ATLANTEAN ELDER ON EARTH
AMERA ZIGANII RAO :: SACRED WHORE HIGH SERPENT PRIESTHOOD FEMALE HIEROPHANT AVATAR VALKYRIE WIZARD MONARCH™ & SACRED DISIR
AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™
Amera Ziganii Rao :: Supernatural Cosmic Intelligence + Supernatural Intelligence. Training to be a world class educator in Consciousness + The Politics of Rape/The True Love Journey + Human Rights + Purpose + The Lost Knowledge + Inner and Outer Power.
NATURAL BORN MYSTIC™ :: THE RETURN TO ATLANTIS :: THE RETURN TO LEMURIA
NATURAL BORN MYSTIC™ :: THE TRUE LOVE JOURNEY :: THE POLITICS OF RAPE :: AMERA ZIGANII RAO
I have fought a great, great battle. Atlantis is no longer raped by a Lemurian earth. The rest we shall see. Leadership training indeed. Warrior, lover, Valkyrie, Healer, Prophet and Atlantean Queen. That is me. Warrior, lover, poet in training, and broken Agamemnon, woman beating warlord of filth and slavery, will he be. Atlantis is firmly back on earth. Now, true love may just finally be.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
NATURAL BORN MYSTIC™ :: THE LOVE HOLOCAUST :: THE LIFE HOLOCAUST :: THE DIVINITY HOLOCAUST
The Macho Intellectual Consciousness Passion and Compassion of the Visceral Soul.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Amera Ziganii Rao :: Writer. Philosopher. Performer. Psychologist. Humanist. Esoteric. Sexualist. Hedonist. Artist. Teacher. Coach. Social Reformer. Feminist. Hierophant. Sacred Disir. Former Slave. Seer. Sage. :: My Business Is Transformation Of The Soul. My Business Is Power. My Business Is Freedom. My Business Is Love. My Business Is To Fight Fascism And Human Cruelty And Emotional Sickness In All Its Relationship Forms On Earth. My Business Is Applied Spirit. Real Sex. Real Love. Real Life. Real GOD. The Return.
FEMINIST AND HUMAN RIGHTS, METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHER. WRITER. MENTALIST AND ARTIST
NATURAL BORN MYSTIC™ & AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™
The new educational website (Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™ as a writing and speaking business of empowerment) will be announced. Meanwhile, enjoy the free writing and consciousness work on this website. It was written with blood, sweat and tears. The story of both my man and myself as we have struggled to re-define all that is relationship and marriage, the mutual journey of escape and evolution out of The Patriarchal Tribe.
The self discovery that took us from female slavery and male confusion and fascism into a society that was left behind a long time ago, when The New World Order took over and put men in charge, when they didn't even want it, by all that I have seen. Other than in sex as is the primal partnership. Our exploration is here. The world of Bluebeard Male Supremacy™ through to the Sacred Whore and High Female Esoteric Serpent Priesthood Society™, again, with men as the beloveds. Equality, Liberty, FRATERNITY. The New New World. Again.
Please feel free to read the material on this blog. My writings, plus work from other consciousness teachers too. My Manifesto for Human Rights (Especially Female) in Relationship and Family.
These writings will be produced in book form. Poetry Polemics for a better world of love, independence, sex and individuation. And true companionship and family. Power to the people, indeed. Together.
Thank you.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
The Two Messages ::
The Female Divine Highest Love Intelligence Energy. God The Mother, The Universe. Plus, the SACRED WHORE HIGH PRIESTESS HIEROPHANT AVATAR VALKYRIE WIZARD MONARCHs™ as the only true High Priests, with a GNOSTIC spirituality for all.
There is no love on earth. We are all here to fight for it, or be hate. We are here to be profound, or to be shallow. To be adventurers of the soul, or turgid and needing security, to be humane or greedy, to BE love, or BE hate. Earth is hell. Hell, created by hate, for hate, of hate. Free will is to choose which way to go. Love, or hate. That is Existentialism. That is evolution. That is the advancement of the soul. Hate to love. And nothing less. The conquering of evil by good. The light must push out the dark. The light must win.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
My Business Is Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
Feminism is not feminism. Feminism is anti slavery. They call us control freaks and that has to be watched. However, in the context of the truth, it is a ridiculous statement. It is the oppressor, calling the courageous campaigner for freedom and equality, the terrorist.
Feminism is not 'man hating'. Feminism is not feminism. Feminism is the movement against slavery. Humanitarianism is the same. Slavery must not exist in any form on earth. Slavery is everywhere.
From unpaid work in marriage to unpaid work in the family, to minimum wage in the market to a hundred other arenas, slavery is the way of earth.
Feminism and humanitarianism are the movements against it. Slavery is fascism. Fascism is everywhere. We just don't know it. They made sure that we don't know it. Now we do. And we will forever.
Society calls it bullying. Society calls it unfortunate, while propping it up in every single second, across the world. Fascism must die. Fascism will die. Fascism is to die.
That is World Ascension. The end of fascism.
My Business Is Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
The point of this planet is to find out what we are not, so we can find out what we are.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
The journey to the breaking of one's lower self into one's great self. The actual journey. That is my business. Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. Turning oneself into gold and honey and authentic power. The pain of transformation, the shock and the trauma and terror and resistance of it. The path to heaven on earth. That is my business. THAT part of it. The crucifixion and disability of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. The pain of it.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Natural Born Mystic™
The compassion to go with the passion. The discipline of mind, to know your darkness and the education of a post patriarchal man. Love. And changing the very matter of your spiritual DNA. Ascension. I can feel it coming. The build up is your job. The rest I can help with.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Avatar (James Cameron)
My daughter will teach you our ways. Learn well, Jake Sully. Then we will see if your insanity can be cured.
Mo'at
Natural Born Mystic™
Misogyny is sadism against women. An unconscious hijacking and a conscious will to maintain it.
Tyranny and sadism. Misogynists. Slaves of Sauron (Tolkein's Lord of the Rings). Wifebeaters.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Natural Born Mystic™
An Hierophant is an interpreter of sacred mysteries and arcane principles. 'Jake Sully' (Avatar) is her Sacred Warrior Protector™
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Natural Born Mystic™
A Natural Born Mystic™ is primarily a Sacred Whore Healer as a Cinderella Warrior™. As a woman. A High Priestess Wizard™ is a Sacred Whore Healer and Enlightener. That has specific duties and challenges to do with men and their immense madness (Mo'at - Avatar) and their profanity (killing God The Mother, The Triple Goddess) and monetising the slavery of emotional care. A Sacred Whore Healer has to do this against all the odds. She does it because she and they, the Sacred Whore Healers and High Priestess Wizards™ are the strongest.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Natural Born Mystic™
'Respect' as fear.
'The Accomplished Female' = the only thing that the male patriarch can deliver as 'love'. Men do not tolerate women earning money. They want slavery to instil FEAR. Fear as 'respect'. Fear is not 'respect'.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2014
Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™
The secret enemies of psychological warfare. From within and without. Bringing the darkness of evil into the light. Immense self belief, intelligence and courage, plus wizardry. In other words, 'naming it and shaming it and letting it go' and re-programming the mind from any belief to another. To evolve.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Consciousness. The politics of the 21st century. The Lost Knowledge. Forget trying to change the world. Change yourself. It changes your own world that changes THE world.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Sexuality, non religious 'Wizard' and 'Witch' spirituality (the Gnostic intelligence of esoteric and consciousness exploration, ie wisdom and love) and human rights are the least fashionable things and the most uncomfortable things on the planet. And the things human beings have been damning and condemning for 8000 years. And the things that most people are absolutely fascinated by. What a shame. How bourgeois. How ordinary. How ego.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™
The Super Sacred Brother Lover™
The Return To The Source. Ascension.
The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. When we were giants. All of us. When you did more than rape me.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Neo Feminist™, Post Tribe Social Reformer™ and Sacred Sexualist™. Human Rights Healer. Metaphysical Philosopher, Writer, Spiritual Intelligence Teacher, Hierophant (Interpreter of The Universe) and Mentalist Self Actualiser.
I can help you grow power, from nothing.
Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
The Sacred Whore High Priestess Hierophant™ and Sacred Pimp Warrior Protector, Brother Lover™ Society. The kings and queens of old. Angels and Sorcerers together in each of themselves and in the other. The Wizard life. Forever. Living and loving from The Source. Sourcery, Carlos Castaneda first said. I'll say it again. Sourcerers together. Living a life worth living. At last.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Witches are healers. Witches are the Love Healers and SOURCErers of The Lost World, when we were the giant warriors. We were good and so were were you. 'The World of Men'. The Tribe of Misogyny and Bourgeois™.
Gives us all a bad name. And poisons all hearts.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Feminist Lolita Intellectuals™. You lucky man. A place at the table, a place at the Executive Table. That's all. The rest is easy.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Spiritual power = emotional power = emotional intelligence = mental intelligence = re-programming of the whole self = spiritual intelligence = The Lost Knowledge™ = power = The New World.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
The Company
Writer, Speaker and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. A programme of learning that is specifically about one particular kind of woman. And one particular kind of man. The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the true society that they come from and the one they, in particular, she can and has to return to and that anyone can join her and him in. This is about Paradise on Earth.
This is about The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity that is for all as a result of their healing and in particular, hers. This is about the kind of woman who is at the bottom of the pile in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society™, the norm, the conventional world and the world of the Tribe. This is about the kind of man who is next in line from the bottom. The sensitive man and the female chattel. The High Priestess and High Priest of a profane society, that has long forgotten who they are.
This is about being at the bottom of the pile, for the forgotten and strangled shamans, and for her, the story of escape. Abused by her family, her friends, her men, her whole society, by the very nature of who she is and who they are and what has happened on this Earth. It is about women of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about men of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about the Cinderellas of this world. It is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™. Who she is and how, loving her is the secret to Paradise on Earth and how we have been living a lie for 8000+ years. A lie of male (non High Priest) religion with a male ‘God’ and with Patriarchs and Patriarchal types and Matriarchs and Matriarchal types ruling over us and making our lives hell, all in the name of family, the tribe and the way things are and should remain. Hate, fascism and profanity. A sick society that vilifies, more than anyone else, the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, just because it was told to. A sick society that calls her Eve. A sick society that has forgotten who we all are, let alone the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™. This is about us remembering and knowing who WE are.
This is a programme of healing for the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, to take them and particularly, her, from monstrous levels of low self esteem and lack of self knowledge, back to herself and it is a programme for all those who truly want to love her, and indeed, him. This is a programme for the greatest carers on Earth, who are vilified, destroyed, ridiculed, ignored, abused, used, misused and hated for being everything that those who would steal from us are not. This is a programme to turn Cinderellas into The Sacred Whore High Priestesses and for anyone who wants to love her or live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. And this is a programme to turn sensitive men into Sacred Whore High Priests™ and for anyone who wants to love him and live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and High Priest Society. Love, humanity, Spirit and sex. This is a programme to reverse 8000+ years of witch burning, women hating and healer ridicule. This is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and all those who would love her and live by her values.
This is about the chance for Paradise on Earth. This is a programme for the most beautiful, kind hearted, wounded women and men on this planet. A programme of how to implement a system of how to beat life, how to survive life and how to resurrect from the grief that is a true life. Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, ‘happy’, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. How to turn grief into creation and survive and thrive, despite all the shit, all the pain and all the hurt. How to live in a world of madness, hollowness and cruelty and how to be a winner. How to stand up for oneself and to take back the power that has been stolen from anyone with heart, Spirit and sex. The art and science of Alchemy.
This is a programme, based on my scholarly and non scholarly work over 15 years (so far), if not for my whole life, and my extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of relative bliss, and above all, the right to be. The programme and the courses and my speaking and indeed my forthcoming book, will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. Who the Sacred Whore High Priestess™ is and why she is here. And who the Sacred Whore High Priest™ is. Why we are here. Who we are and what we are and why we are. The beauty and glory of the truth. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the future.
My first book of consciousness, my first book of the spiritual politics of humanity, of authentic power and of self love and strength. A comprehensive series of online courses, live events and audio and visual material. Books, live events, CDs and DVDs. And one on one personal empowerment consultations. The Amera Ziganii Rao Method of Change™. The right to be and the way to have the right to be. And indeed, how to maintain the will to live without love. How to BE unconditional, self sufficient, self caring, self love. The right to be and the will to be and the unparalleled success that comes with that. The Lost Knowledge™. HOW to live. And how to heal others, the profane and the sick and the soulless. The others. My Business and that of any Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and Sacred Whore High Priest™, is Human Rights, The Right to a Sexual Society, Self Actualisation and Freedom.
My Business is To Overthrow Fascism, in the Home and in the Country. My business is also mastering destiny. Overthrowing the ultimate 'fascism'. Our journey on Earth and The Return To The Source. Our healing, our ascension and our redemption. Fate. The daily crucifixions of a true life, the challenges and the fury of being healers and people of love on a planet like Earth.
Submitting to the journey to liberate and evolve oneself, through following one's heart, however much heartbreak and devastation it leads to on the long long long journey to freedom and then the longer journey to happiness. 'Long Road to Freedom', as Nelson Mandela says. My business is always taking risks, never giving up and making the endless sacrifices it takes to become whole. Enlightenment, Nirvana and then Parinirvana and beyond. My business is pain. My business is bliss.
My business is seeing the truly glory of Spirit on Earth. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™ and all that it is. Spirit, humanity, sex and love again at last. And the end of our legacy as either servants or witches or unpaid carers or indeed, ignored mistresses, other women, other men even, and the weirdos that are at the bottom of society. This is our world and it is time to take it back and I can show you how. And that makes my life, truly, worth living.
I want you to feel the way I do. Alive, with the right to be and the belligerence to exist in this profane and male ‘God’ led world of male supremacy, female supremacy, domestic, casual fascism, tribe rules from hell, with beautiful and kind, love intelligence laden, female and male Cinderella warriors at the bottom, caring for everyone else and getting nothing but hatred, ridicule and isolation for it. The meek are already inheriting the Earth and I can show you how.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
I enter the magical hours of pure feeling, pure thought, pure imagination and I think and I write and I 'mysticise' the Universe. I escape at will, the truth of my humanless, Samurai solitude, and I pursue the truth of love in myself and in everyone else. I am philosopher. I am shaman. I am alone. I frontier the Soul to be spirit on Earth.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
To trust your soul is to have courage. The courage to ‘get out of the way’. It takes a commitment to courage, a changing of the very matter of one’s access to courage, one’s relationship with courage and becoming the total renegade of an individual you have to, to become soul. It is that rare. ‘Getting out of the way’ takes a commitment to love and loving and being of love, no matter what. And frankly, that means redefining what love is, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. Finding out what love really is and getting rid of the bullshit we think it is. Love. Soul. Power. It takes courage to be soul. Courage, courage and courage. The rest is easy. Soul is soul. Finally it is an absolute relief to get out of the way. The life of soul may be hair raising, treacherous and mind numbingly arduous. But it is a life of no regrets. Courage. The key to soul. Just give it a go. Wear that hat, say what’s on your mind, dream your dreams again, dream your dreams at all and just smile through the hate. Including one’s doubt. Courage. ‘Kill’ when you have to, especially yourself, and smile the rest of the time and cry when you need to. Always cry. Earth is a battlefield and crying is the way to win. Soul is a way of life. The natural way. Courage is ‘all’ it takes. We learnt the rules, only so we could break them. The rest is the art of life. Creation. Creating oneself again and again and again. Soul. The only way of life worth anything. Otherwise, we are just waiting to die. We don’t need to. We can live. It’s called soul.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
Self esteem. True, authentic, self knowing, self esteem. The one that includes the sex, the primal, the primitive, the animal, the real. The one that includes humanity and a state of unconditional love. Non needing, non greedy, non controlling, non afraid, non negative and non inhumane and non angry. Self esteem. What ego really is, in its true essence. The physical vehicle of self esteem. The physical vehicle of action, reaction, mastery, ‘misstery’, love and war, tenderness and sexuality. Humanity and human. The beautiful, crafted, styled, educated, aware, sincere, active, visceral, sexual, super sexual, heart led, sensitive, humane, courageous and ethical, hopeful ego. The instinct. The intuition. The magic. The primal. The whole. The whole Soul.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013
I can feel your sexuality. I love it. My beautiful, filthy, dominating, obsessed, possessed, hedonistic, nihilistic, Sacred beast of a man. Because those of us who are the most sexual, what do we think, in the truth context of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and The Sacred Whore High Priestess (Priest) Society™, that means? We are the most spiritual. The most sexual are in fact the most spiritual. Spirituality being the communing between Mortal and The High Priestess (Priest) to reach ecstasy. Orgasm. Bliss. The most active, dirty minded, passionate, non reproductive, hedonistic, glorious, worthwhile, point of life, meditation or prayer or communing on Earth. THE way to reach God, The Mother, The Universe™. THE way to happiness. Humanity. Joy. Hope. Love. Sex. Sex. Our sex. Sex.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Love takes courage. Love takes being ready. Love takes love.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Amera Ziganii Rao is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social, cultural and spiritual commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her Sacred Whore High Priestess Society consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is in her forties and currently lives in London.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life, in this insane existence called The Universe. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Copyright and intellectual property rights are serious issues. And legally protected. Please do not reproduce my work anywhere without due credit and obviously, never for financial gain. 'Big Sister' is watching you! Other than that, please continue to enjoy my original work and the work of (credited) others, for free, while I work on using my material in further professional formats. Thank you for your interest and support.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Thank you to outside sources for original photography.
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
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