Goddess. A Self Portrait
Macho. Amera Ziganii Rao
And then there comes the truth, that past archetypes, past being led by passion or by so called reason, past the highly emotional or the highly sensitive, past all the different definitions of the differences, comes one thing and one thing alone. Macho.
I was brought up in one of the most macho environments you could ever imagine, and I come from one of the most macho cultures in the world. I was 'up' there with the best of them. I did macho and I did it very well. Macho is great. Beautiful, exciting, dynamic, exciting, sexy and driven. But like anything, macho is nothing without the other. Absolutely nothing. Without the 'other', it is brutal cowardice.
After years of doing macho brilliantly, I ended up in a place of hollowness, meanness, emptiness, meaninglessness and nothing. The drive for external power, the drive for no vulnerability, the drive for power. It almost killed me. That it seems is my greatest gift. The fact that I was heart enough inside, for it to almost kill me. I couldn't take it anymore. I had had to adopt it completely to go to war after years of being bullied. And I did it well, really well. But it almost killed me. Which at least stopped me from killing other people which is what macho is really all about. The psychotic human being. Macho.
The 'other' is not just the female psyche, it is not just female, it is heart. The other is love. The other is compassion, the purity of passion, tenderness, kindness, vulnerability, wisdom and true beauty. None of those things are macho. They are the fairy. Venus. Heaven on earth. The light. The sweetness. The glory of Spirit. The centre of the creative drive. The centre of the sexual drive. Music. And to be whole, we have to be both. Actually, we don't have to be anything. But the most attractive people on earth, and what we all secretly crave to be? Both.
The inner heart in either a man or a woman is female. Like it or not, it's woman, it's female and it's feminine. Without access to that, macho is violent, mean, dry and frankly, worst of all, boring. Really, immensely, endlessly boring. I am continuously culling human beings in my life who are macho. Because I am so so so so bored. They bore me stupid. And I don't want them anywhere near me anymore. I know I am whole just through that.
Macho + heart = the whole.
Macho + heart = the whole. And of course, the condundrum, the whole problem with that is this. To be of the inner heart, (FEELINGS, not EMOTIONS), to be of kindness, vulnerability, love, wisdom, pure beauty and feminine is the most frightening thing on earth. That's why we don't do it. First of course is lack of education. But second and most important of all is conformity. Fear, cowardice, conformity. The biggest enslavers of them all, without another person even lifting a finger to intervene. Ourselves. Mental slavery. The Matrix. The machine world has us all in its grip and it's called macho.
Because to be vulnerable is to FEEL vulnerable. And that is the most frightening thing on earth too. To feel vulnerable is to feel pain is to feel the sorrow as well as the joy. Again, I should know. I have had a chronically painful disability for 12 years. I thought I was doing really well with it. But it turns out I was still denying a lot of the pain and hardship of how it actually has debilitated me so much. First, I was terrified of being vulnerable in front of anyone and secondly I was terrified of feeling the full extent of the pain. Rather like facing the truth about my over macho man actually. We are all brought up in external power. External power is a pile of shit unless it includes internal power. And internal power is the inner heart is soul is feminine. Internal power is the female psyche. In all of us. Kindness, integrity, individuality, compassion, humanity and true sex. Not the battering ram kind. The battering ram with a bit of rotation kind:) Creative sex. Sacred sex. Making love. Sex.
Macho is not cool. Macho with heart is the coolest thing on earth. Male and female in each one of us. Whole. Complete.
Amera Ziganii Rao ©
Other Links
On Creativity. On Life. Amera Ziganii Rao
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. The Truth of Sex and Love. Amera Ziganii Rao
Tribe Man to True Man. Amera Ziganii Rao
Film Plot. The Male (Female) Brutality Journey. A Streetcar Named Desire
Film Plot. The Redemption Journey. The Mission
Amera Ziganii Rao is a philosophical writer, essayist, social commentator, prose writer, dramatist and photographer artist as well as a consciousness explorer, self actualiser and emotional healer. She is a former journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social and cultural commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is 46 years old and currently lives in London.
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