Natural Born Mystic™. Ascension Discourse on Love Pt X. The End of The World. Misogyny as Fascism. Fascism as Misogyny. Again l. Amera Ziganii Rao

Perfection ll Pt lll (Artwork) 

Natural Born Mystic™. Ascension Discourse on Love Pt X. The End of The World. Misogyny as Fascism. Fascism as Misogyny. Again. Amera Ziganii Rao

The Politics of Freedom. Amera Ziganii Rao  

The consciousness politics of freedom. Applied love. Applied power and applied freedom. Self manifestation in a world of psychological death, bourgeois conformity, fascism, male supremacy and female subjugation teachings, economic slavery, human emotional sickness and the 'virulent madness' that is normal life. 

A life, where to be vulnerable, is regarded as a sin. A life where freedom is regarded as a selfish self indulgence, against The Tribe. Because it damn well is. Define selfishness. The normal and ugly world. 

The consciousness politics of freedom and transcending one's lower self. As is the true way of becoming on Earth.

How to literally beat the system by becoming it, as yourself. Your true, soul, regained out of the mire of the human ego, self. 

Amera Ziganii Rao Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™ 

The Hierophant Business™ 

All you need is the mind. Love, Trust and God. 

God, The Mother, The Universe, The Womb of Creation. With God, The Father, serving Her too. 

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch Society™. The lost spiritual leadership of this godless world. 

The unseen force of The Higher Life. 

The life of love. The life of life. 

The New World. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

I never desire to converse with a man (woman) who has written more than he (she) has read. Samuel Johnson 

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. Thomas Jefferson 

Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition. Marilyn Monroe 

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. Rumi 

When you can no longer tell the difference between being yourself and being love, you are not far from waking up. Eric Micha'el Leventhal 

A great value of antiquity lies in the fact that its writings are the only ones that modern men (women) still read with exactness. Friedrich Nietzsche 

Suffering usually relates to wanting things to be different from the way they are. Allan Lokos

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. Benjamin Spock

Sacred Sexuality. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Because female is not the only person in this world of hell, that is banned from sensuality. Male sensuality doesn’t exist either. Power is not sensuality. Sensuality is sensuality. To defeat the dark side of ourselves, we have to find a level of courage to express our sensuality that is way, ‘beyond the pale’ to say the least. 

The key is how much you want it. If you are driven by the very sensuality of sensuality and sexuality, you will eventually have no choice. Intelligence also demands it, because it is in the SENSUALITY OF OURSELF, that the power is found. The SPIRITUAL power is in the PRIMAL of the SENSUALITY of who we are. 

Not cock. Not pussy. Not tits. Not the obvious, in an obvious world. What drives it. What drives it and how it is expressed and how it is lived by and how it is understood. 

Not with the immature titillation of all things bourgeois. Even I have been there. Of course. 17 years ago, I realised that was infuriating me was that I was not expressing on the outside and in my life and in my being, what was going on inside. And the more I have released what is really going on, of course, the more I am not only at peace, but completely aware of where I fit in and where I most certainly do not and would not want to. Where I follow and where I lead. 

Turns out it is spiritual and sensual monarchy. A monarchy of being that is lost to everyone. Their sex. 

When my philosophical odyssey into  the heavens began, I asked several questions. One, of why men hate women and second, why was sex so taboo. If there was a power driving the world that I did not agree with, why would a power in charge, ban the one thing that would make a slave people deliriously happy and docile? Why would that be? It didn’t make sense. Why was there this hysteria about paganism and all things disgusting and whatever and blah, blah, blah. The range of vilification of sexuality is too vast. 

Because of the Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch Society™. It’s not the SEX that has been banned for 8000 years. It is the SENSUALITY OF THE SEX. Why? Because sensuality is POWER. 

And sacred sensuality, which is the only kind, is the most empowering and spiritually pure thing on earth. All that I am asked to share comes from that source, that source that is vilified as either whore or witch. Or seditious rebel without a cause. The Source. 

Men are as constrained in straight jackets of non sensuality, as women. For different reasons and with tragic, global and universal consequences, ie killing all that is me, but the fact is that it is men who are missing the sensuality. The so called Anima (CG Jung). The female psyche. 

And the women of your type, absolutely suffer from the same thing. Their obsessive judgment about sexuality is not only destructive, it is incredibly transparent. The fear. 

You tear the flesh of a woman, you tear the soul of all that she is, because you want what she has. You damn well have the right to have it, just like I do, your male power. It takes courage. The courage of overturning chattel and all the dependencies and weaknesses that result in being scared like a little girl at an executive boardroom of old men, is constantly being built, laughed at and then rebuilt. Wept at and then rebuilt. 

For you, it is admitting to your greatest vulnerability. You can’t find your real sex. Your sensuality. Your courage to dress like a man who wants sex all the time, kind of sensuality. Your individual identity of who you really are. 

Because you are right. You step into that bracket of existence and you define yourself. The fear of commitment is for the self, long before it is for anyone else. 

You commit to who you really are and then you will never doubt yourself ever again. And in relation to a woman, the woman you desire the most, this is such a fundamental key, that I am only understating it here. You threaten and strangle women, because you don’t believe in your ability to be loved. That is your sensuality missing. If you were really in touch with your real sex, you would never doubt letting me out of your sight or be jealous or possessive or envious ever again. 

You would know who my Sacred Pimp is. And what he does for me. And you will then, finally feel secure. It is not your sex that is the problem, it is your SEX. Your sensuality, who you are and where your power is. You have no power inside you. You have massive external power. You came for me, because you have no inner power. I am your inner power, for sure. As I demand the right to grow my own external power, I empower you to grow your own inner power. 

I am Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch™. That is what we do. We lead in love and we lead in humanity and we lead in sex and we lead in sensuality and we lead in inner power. True motherhood to match your true fatherhood. 

And for that, liberation is one thing and one thing only. The sensual freedom of true sensuality and sexuality and the commitment to step outside all things bourgeois and FORGET every single person who has attacked your virility or beauty or physical power. Because you have been attacked like every single man I have ever loved. The women and men of The Warrior Class are sex. We are attacked from birth. We hide our bits forever. Until we don’t. 

You are to become the Circus completely now. And not just be the magnificent player you are. You are to BECOME the Circus now and not just work in it. I am working in it and will grow that, after BECOMING it. I AM The Circus. You work in it. 

You are to refind your truth and your truth is the part of sexuality that they beat out of you a long time ago. THAT is your inner power. That is power. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Sacred Sexuality ll. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Absolutely. Not only do you have to recall the first moment of sexual shaming in this life, let alone the history of the last 8000 years, you have to also accept one thing. Wanting to subjugate a woman has absolutely nothing to do with being threatened financially or power wise or whatever it is that drives men to kill women. 

It is to do with one thing. Sensuality. The World Slave Order teaches you to make me invisible. Deny her power and she will not become visible and sensuality and spiritual power therefore, SENSUALITY BEING SPIRITUAL POWER, AS INNER, CENTRAL DRIVE POWER OF BOTH PRIMAL AND INTUITION, can not therefore be promoted or seen, to keep the world in disempowered, TERRIFIED slavery. 

Your sexual slavery, not mine. 

That is the single reason for misogyny. The whole plan is to subjugate us so the real power in you too, can be subjugated. 

Tell your ego that from now on. It is the most simple and sophisticated truth to integrate and is the whole key. 

Everything else comes from that and as I return to Sacred Sexuality today, I welcome the expansion of that consciousness. I love it because I live from it and that's because I have faced my past. The shaming, the hatred, the vilification, the ridicule and the fear. 

People are terrified of sexuality because they are terrified of SENSUAL POWER. The real 'Big Brother' fascism of this world. And my monarchy. 

Not tits. But female, sacred, sexual, sensuality of being. All that any whole human being has tapped into. And stood up for with courage. 

John Lennon and Yoko Ono being the most literal and misunderstood example. 

You are entering your John Lennon days. It's why you found me. 

In The World of Men, sex is a hidden, SHAMEFUL, fast and rapid orgasmic function. The source of the sexual feeling is as hated as she is desired. That is male sexuality. And obsessively related to children. Sex is not FOR having children. Children are the possible product and certainly not the point. The point is God. Bliss. Therapy. Communing. Communion. Tapping into the real source of power. THE SOURCE. God, The Mother, The Universe, The Womb of Creation. 

This is no longer The World of Men.

You are allowed to have sex and be a sensual, sexual being and responsible too. It's all a lie. 

Let's just say, you can't control passion, because you have no REVERENCE for it. Neither does society. The other way round. It teaches you to hate women and beat them, because you are not allowed to love us. If you loved us and learnt from us and were our real friends, you would get our power. Naturally.

Why on earth would your forefathers want that? The generation of LOVE SEXUAL power could heal the world. 

And that is without marriage or children. That is a dangerous substance. And why women like me are forced into our Rapunzel lifestyles and why men like you pine in fury at the other end. 

It is sex you are afraid of. And it is sex that will set you free. Not their kind of sex. Mine and yours. True sensuality led, sexuality of being. 

ALL that is taboo. 

But you're like me. Once you know you are a slave, you will do something about it. For now, you have to believe. And that will take time. You have no inner power, courage or conviction or COMPASSION because you are afraid. You are afraid because you are cut off from your INNER SENSUALITY OF SEXUALITY power. 

You are cut off from that, because you do not befriend the women you love. You can only steal and never receive. They made you hate me, so you could never really learn. I learn from you all the time and have done so from every man. My power only grows. That came after recognising the truth. 

Intimacy is sensual freedom. You tap into that and you soar. You can't and you are strangled and want to strangle everyone else. 

Sensuality is power. Sensuality is spirit and sensuality is you. 

You just have to find him again, because he is there, loud and clear. The courage to leave The Tribe is easy once you reach that. 

And that brings us to the question. Just how sexual are you? The proof will reveal itself. I am confident. You should be too. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Intelligent Headlines Example 

Revealed:what women do and why they do it. Giles Coren. THE TIMES 

All those mysterious actions have hidden meanings. Finally, we have the key:all it’s all about handbags. 

A report by the Journal of Consumer Research has found that “Women buy designer handbags and expensive accessories to stop love rivals stealing their men”.

Interesting. And no doubt completely true. But I wonder how that works.

Is it because they want these potential love rivals to think they are carrying a small pistol in that designer handbag, with which they intend to shoot at the hordes of women who d.....

A columnist in The Times. A major newspaper. 

......yeah. lost interest. AZR

'Austerity may be necessary but the coalition’s spare room subsidy policy is illogical, unfair and cruel'. News Headline 

Don't wish for other people's misfortune. Wish for your and their well being. What's on your mind either contaminates or heals your mind. The Golden Mirror 

It is not a sin to be happy. Paulo Coelho 

Forget your weaknesses! Think courage. Sports Motivation 

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. Confucius

If you want to live, give up your foolishness & let understanding guide your steps. Proverbs 9:6

"Sigh. Women are just so complex. Every little thing is a sign for something else. Nothing is without meaning" That same Times column 

In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are recognized as signs that you are on the right path. ~Daniel Pinchbeck

There is more polarization in society today than ever before. What was done in the Sixties led to this. Neale Donald Walsch 

Fear, guilt, shame, resentment, or anger, when not acknowledged, will weaken your ability to perceive, respond, and make conscious choices. Iyanla Vanzant 

Leaders are the most creative people on the planet. Michael E Nichols 

One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus. ~ Tony Robbins

Sacred Sexuality lll. Amera Ziganii Rao

Sensuality is the compassion of passion. Sensuality is the feeling that comes out in the sun. Sensuality is the feeling that comes out when you are in front of someone you desire or are attracted to, or just admire. Sensuality is across gender. Sensuality is across relationship. Sensuality is the compassion of the desire, the art of the desire and the power of the desire. Sensuality is intuition + sex. The sex instinct + intuition = compassion = sensuality. And sensuality is one other thing. Courage. The courage to BE sensuality. To be sensual. To be whole and real and balanced and accessing one’s intimacy, AS A STATE OF BEING. 

Desire becomes a thing to be mastered, just like anything else, rather than a liability, that is there to take us into fantasy, and the generic will to have sexual power over another person, just for affirmation or just for power or just for feeling good. That is male love for women. I had it once in my archetype’s way too. Yours is this; Masturbation with another person, both sexually and emotionally and spiritually. That is not sex or sensuality. That is rape done politely. Because you are just not there. And you demand her to be a slave in the kitchen and clean toilets too. That is rape twice over. That is male ‘sensuality’. Violence against those you desire. That is what you call love. 

In mastery of course, ‘violence against those you desire’ is done right, in the right context, ie sexual, but I shudder at the thought of talking sex to a people who have had their sensuality ripped out of them and therefore they only know how to rip it out of a woman emotionally by killing her dead. Mastery is taking that into the sex, with the humanity to go with it and then completely controlling it into compassion in all the wrong contexts. In other words, knowing WHEN to be primal and WHEN to be human. WHEN to treat her like the ‘whore’ in the bedroom and WHEN to treat her like a human being with a will and mind and heart and SOUL and FUCKING VOCATION of her own. As she does you. Mastery is mastery. Mastery is Ascension. Mastery is Soul. 

Mastery has to be reached. I don’t know where you are on the scale, for sure, now. I release any will to even care, such is the mindless torture of this purpose, to be actively NON LOVED by you, as I show you the way, where every single part of me is being violated. Motherhood. Who’d have it. Prophet Shaman Priestess. Who’d have it in a Temple-less world. I am off to build my own temple now, in the warzone that is my earth. You do what you can. 

I am going in, completely now, as a state of being. My personal life can only be with myself in a world of male rape. As it happens, my personal life can only be with myself in a professional context too and that suits me fine. I am so done with the human race for now. And every day with you just proves it more. Fortunately, I love my work. Fortunately, for you, you are my work. 

I will love when a loveable man is capable of sharing that with a woman. I don’t notice your sensuality with other men to be a problem. Once again, it is a deliberate dehumanisation of all that is female. Once again, your stabbing is just for the women. It’s not just brotherhood that has to be found by men for women, as Simone de Beauvoir says, it is SISTERHOOD. Sisterhood is the sensuality of compassion between two people and you show it absolutely fine, to other men. You show it to children, you show it to strangers and colleagues. You do it with family. When you can do it with a woman, you will love a woman. Simple as that. 

Actively hating and denying her because she has the audacity to both own her own mind and her own sensuality and sexuality, is not love. Actively trying to destroy all that she is, so she sticks to you like a limpet, who you can then abuse and use, is not love. These are not sisterly things. They are vicious warmonger slave master things. It always comes back to that. You are primally wound up the wrong way. And in all that, you are AFRAID of showing your own sensual primal. You are not only rapists, you are secretive rapists. Despite yourselves. You are embarrassed of your own sexuality and your own sensuality as everyone is brought up to be. Bourgeois. Ordinary, religion doctrine and influence, society. The banal. The mediocre. The cowardly and non feeling of non sensuality that is the psychological death of this world. 

You are as embarrassed of showing your own sensuality as you are driven to destroy mine unless it is with you. You are a High Priestess Violator Henchman, don’t forget. They have primed you to kill all that is me. You are slowly de-programming from that. This is yet another layer and flavour of the ugliness you have been given as your own. And that, unfortunately, you own with admirable venom. The World of Men. Ugly. 

Anyway, these are the normal complaints of women, expressed again. With very real psychological, anthropological and sociological roots. And indeed, political. Always the politics of spirituality in me. Consciousness is politics and politics is consciousness. The prophet shamanism of the ‘rebel without a cause’ syndrome in a sick society. 

Apparently, one can only be spiritual or political or neither. Wrong. My path is just that, to have integrated the two. And now, of course, the threshold forever has to be women and men. Vulnerables and Werewolves, both male and female. This is the dynamic of power on earth and my platform for change and reform. 

Sensuality. Cut off to you for 8000 years. Rape is all you have. Darth Vader has you in his grip. And now we know why. 

Sad days of recognition, for new days/years of education. 

That’s the good news. Fascism can be reformed through education. That is why I am here. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

And that’s why it’s going to take years for you to catch up. It is the way. Enjoy. At least you get to live. I, at least, get to work.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Super Siren lV Pt ll (Artwork) 

The Green Mile 

The Green Mile is a 1999 American drama film directed by Frank Darabont adapted from the 1996 Stephen King novel of the same name. The film is told in a flashback format and stars Tom Hanks as Paul Edgecomb and Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey with supporting roles by David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, and James Cromwell. The film tells the story of Paul's life as a death row corrections officer during the Great Depression in the United States, and the supernatural events he witnessed.

The film was nominated for four Academy Awards: Best Supporting Actor for Michael Clarke Duncan, Best Picture, Best Sound, and Best Adapted Screenplay.

In a Louisiana nursing home in 1999, Paul Edgecomb begins to cry while watching the film Top Hat. His elderly friend Elaine shows concern for him, and Paul tells her that the film reminded him of when he was a corrections officer in charge of death row inmates at Cold Mountain Penitentiary during the summer of 1935. The scene shifts to 1935, where Paul works with fellow guards Brutus "Brutal" Howell, Harry Terwilliger, and Dean Stanton.

One day, John Coffey, a giant black man convicted of raping and killing two young white girls, arrives on death row. However, he is shy, soft-spoken, and emotional. John reveals extraordinary powers by healing Paul's urinary tract infection and resurrecting a mouse. Later, he heals the terminally ill wife of Warden Hal Moores. When John is asked to explain his power, he merely says that he "took it back."

Percy Wetmore, a sadist with a fierce temper, has recently begun working in the death row inmates block; his fellow guards dislike him, but cannot get rid of him because of his family connections to the governor. He demands to manage the execution of Eduard Delacroix, promising that afterward, he will transfer to an administrative post at a mental hospital. An agreement is made, but Percy then deliberately sabotages the execution: Instead of wetting the sponge used to conduct electricity and make executions quick and effective, he leaves it dry, causing the execution to malfunction dramatically.

Meanwhile, a violent prisoner named "Wild Bill" Wharton has arrived, to be executed for multiple murders committed during a robbery. At one point he seizes John's arm, and John psychically senses that Wharton is also responsible for the crime for which John was convicted and sentenced to death. John "takes back" the sickness in Hal's wife and regurgitates it into Percy, who then shoots Wharton to death and falls into a state of permanent catatonia. Percy is then admitted to Briar Ridge Mental Hospital as a patient rather than an administrator. In the wake of these events, Paul interrogates John, who says he "punished them bad men" and offers to show Paul what he saw. John takes Paul's hand and says he has to give Paul "a part of himself" in order for Paul to see what really happened to the girls.

Paul asks John what he should do, if he should open the door and let John walk away. John tells him that there is too much pain in the world, to which he is sensitive, and says he is "rightly tired of the pain" and is ready to rest. For his last request on the night before his execution, John watches the film Top Hat. When John is put in the electric chair, he asks Paul not to put the traditional black hood over his head because he is afraid of the dark. Paul agrees, shakes his hand, and John is executed.

As an elderly Paul finishes his story, he notes that he requested a transfer to a youth detention center, where he spent the remainder of his career. Elaine questions his statement that he had a fully grown son at the time, and Paul explains that he was 44 years old at the time of John's execution and that he is now 108. This is apparently a side effect of John giving a "part of himself" to Paul. 

Mr. Jingles, Del's mouse resurrected by John, is also still alive — but Paul believes his outliving all of his relatives and friends (including Elaine, who is shown to have died at the end of the movie) to be a punishment from God for having John executed, and wonders how long it will be before his own death.

Cast

Tom Hanks as Paul Edgecomb

Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey

Bonnie Hunt as Jan Edgecomb

David Morse as Brutus "Brutal" Howell

Doug Hutchison as Percy Wetmore

Sam Rockwell as "Wild Bill" Wharton

Michael Jeter as Eduard "Del" Delacroix

James Cromwell as Warden Hal Moores

Patricia Clarkson as Melinda Moores

Barry Pepper as Dean Stan Leeton

Jeffrey DeMunn as Harry Terwilliger

Brent Briscoe as Bill Dodge

Harry Dean Stanton as Toot-Toot

Dabbs Greer as Old Paul Edgecomb

Gary Sinise as Burt Hammersmith

Graham Greene as Arlen Bitterbuck

William Sadler as Klaus Detterick

Bill McKinney as Jack Van Hay, the executioner.

Eve Brent as Elaine Connelly 

Production

Darabont adapted the novel into a screenplay in under eight weeks.

Hanks and Darabont met at an Academy Award luncheon in 1994. Stephen King stated he envisioned Hanks in the role and was happy when Darabont mentioned his name.

Morse had not heard about the script until he was offered the role. He stated he was in tears by the end of it. Darabont wanted Cromwell from the start, and after he read the script, Cromwell was moved and agreed.

Duncan has credited his casting to Bruce Willis, with whom he had worked on the film Armageddon one year earlier. According to Duncan, Willis introduced him to Darabont after hearing of the open call for John Coffey 

Forbes commentator Dawn Mendez referred to the character of John Coffey as a "'magic Negro' figure"—a term coined by Spike Lee to describe a stereotypical fictional black person depicted in a fictional work as a "saintly, nonthreatening" person whose purpose in life is to solve a problem for or otherwise further the happiness of a white person. 

Lee himself berated the character as one of several "super-duper, magical Negro[es]" depicting a skewed version of the black male, claiming it was due to the prominence of white decision makers in the media companies. 

John Coffey. Quotes 

John Coffey, just like the drink, only not spelled the same.

You be still, now ... you be so quiet and so still.

Why, they's angels. Angels, just like up in heaven. (Entranced, watching Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing "Cheek to Cheek" in Top Hat). 

I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. I'm tired of never having me a buddy to be with, to tell me where we's going to or coming from, or why. Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world every day. There's too much of it — it's like pieces of glass in my head, all the time. Can you understand?

He ("Wild Bill" Wharton) killed them with their love. That's how it is every day, all over the world.

Heaven … I'm in heaven … heaven …

Wikipedia

Even Divinity Puts Me Last. Amera Ziganii Rao 

To win, then is to lose. Women can only therefore be slaves to men in marriage, or gladiators for The Universe as freedom fighters. Against men. It’s always about asceticism and it is always about men. It is their world. Either one is born male and sadist (female and sadist) or born female and either a victim forever, violated forever, or...a victim forever and violated forever as a marriage Gladiator, against the Emperor misogyny of men. Please, let me die. The good news (huh) is that redemption can finally be built. Alone, on one’s own and by oneself. The human right denied to females, that males swagger about in irresponsible laziness with. Of course there’s a difference. A woman can only be hated. Either in the home or isolated and ostracised as the kind of women men don’t marry/love. The great news within all of this is that this is how it is meant to be, while the Gladiator purpose remains, to kill an Emperor. Which means The Universe serves sadism and has us here as the Gladiators to fight it. As it WAS MEANT TO BE. 

Please, let me die, as I make the mediocre trip, without fear, to achievement and success. What a tortuous life of nothing, for nothing. Because nothing will ever make up for the first 50 years of my existence this time around. There are some things that can never be forgiven or forgotten. Yeay. I teach human rights. For what? 

For a world, where Divinity serves sadism, to explore the dark and the light. Oops, it did go a bit too far, what with the reptilian agenda and the massacre of the female species for over 8000 years, but hey, if you didn’t separate into the dark and light, you wouldn’t know yourself. 

What the fuck would make me want to know that? 

Prophet Shamanism. The most enviable job on this sorry toilet of a planet, called Earth. Just tell me when I can finally go. ‘What we do in life, echoes in eternity’, Maximus says in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. You are absolutely right. For a Gladiator, ie, a woman who is of love or humanity, it’s the only thing worth doing anything for. Eternity. Death. Salvation. Escape. 

It seems, you see, that we are the only people who want love. And we are the only people who don’t get it, in any way. Asceticism is a denial of abundance, in an abundance generating environment, which for a Gladiator is easy, as we are the Alchemists of The Universe. But abundance can be for everyone else, other than us, because that is our ‘purpose’. So we generate abundance and get asceticism. Or hatred, or isolation or ostracisation or murder. Emotional violence in other words, lack of love and the fascistic sadism of a people, unable to access their sensuality and who are simply, literal and symbolic rapists. 

Therefore, the answer is what is called unconditional love. Going within, utterly and completely and de-infantising for life, while fighting the sadists, while taking the asceticism, while taking the lack of love from Divinity, because we are here to Her job and therefore are to be fucked over the most, because we are the only ones who care because we are of love in a world, rampantly gone mad with The Judas Principle™, which is not actually evil, because oh yes, Divinity is that as well as the light, which is what enlightenment really is, about accepting the whole and oh, yes, it just went a bit out of control on earth, so as a person of love, you can actually never win. 

Until you do. And until then, you languish in sweat and hard work, in a prison, while sadism runs free. But don’t worry. Divinity loves you and you serve Her. And you do it for love and because you can. Thanks for the martyrdom and don’t worry. It’s just an exploration of the light and the dark and all to make you powerful Alchemists, because it is you who actually wanted to, as soul. Sorry, it’s a bit tougher than you thought it would be. Oops. 

Thanks. Please, just tell me when I can die. Until then, I’ll be in my tower. While sadism and misogyny and fascism runs free, fed by the abundance of The Universe because, er, actually it’s all up to us, because unless we all become Gladiator and kill Emperors (forever, one after the other until some imaginary date of convergence where sadism suddenly becomes compassion overnight) for a living, we will have no living. 

The real spiritual nightmare of a reason, behind the deliberate myth of male love. So we can de-infantise all the way, after being completely infantised by the people who apparently loved us, by a Divinity that actually does love us, but wants us to grow. Forever. 

Fuck me. Just get me out of here. Oh, if I go now, I won’t be able to escape the cycle of Earth and will have to repeat it, repeatedly. 

What we do in life, echoes in eternity. What a Gladiator does in life, obviously ONLY echoes in eternity. Asceticism is the new love. And embracing all the clichés of spiritual torture, tortured soul, endless agony and everything that goes with it. With all the Hierophant understanding in the world, no insight can stop this awful truth. Asceticism has been a part of my life for years and I have only just realised what I have been battling against and why I have lost. And what the discussion has been, that I have been involved in. The whole question of money, providing and kitchen galley slavery and emotional care with your ankles cut off, all to wipe it out as a possibility, because it was all a myth, even though that has always been known because of my father but blah, blah, blah, the question was, whether he was an anomaly or the whole world was the same and whether there was a man who could become great by becoming THE anomaly and whatever and to have endlessly only been involved in that sorry, pride bashing, female pastime, after all!! Rage?? And THEN, to lose all over again, and find out, that er, no, there is no care, or yes, there may be, but not now and er, sorry, could you go back to the same prison and now start a brand NEW journey of self sufficiency, like you were doing in all the long, disabled years, before you met him..Rage?? The truth of becoming unconditional love. Not to need anything as well as not need anyone. And to build, as seasoned Gladiators, after half a lifetime of battling, FOR The Universe, from scratch. 

No wonder sadism doesn’t change and no wonder misogyny doesn’t change. Why would it? Divinity, The Universe only rewards it. And kills of the rest of us with its cruelty. Sainthood is a job. My task to give it description. Sainthood is Gladiator. Killing Emperors and Empresses, our game. In war, and the trenches, forever. Until that final death. Redemption, dead or alive. 

Which, as it turns out, is just a decent home and a non ascetic life. 

What a banal, heroic journey. So much pain, for so little. And all in negotiation with sadists, whether I wanted it or not. And never, with any love as any part of it. Just relentless, cold, cruel, male, non love. Nothing is outside God. And that just makes me feel a whole, fuck of a lot, better. 

You’re damn right, happiness is from within. No one knows that more than the female Gladiator. Now, I aim to make it a lifestyle. De-infantisation to complete existentialism. Self actualisation indeed. While fighting Emperors and Empresses. Fighting both terrestrial and celestial corruption of power. 

We do indeed, shape The Universe. We are the hated ascetics. Fight fire with fire, with love. Everywhere. And stay within. But shout. That is unconditional love. Use everything. Appreciate any affirmation, the kindness of strangers and any attempts by those who try to love us, in their five minute successful attempts. Appreciate The Universe but never feel guilty about your rage or pain or hurt. Sadists are given abundance. It really is that bad. Our path really is that hard. And most of all, we really are alone. Because Divinity drives us as hard as the sadists. 

The only satisfaction therefore, ironically and justifiably and finally, to a long past love dependent, blissfully, one’s work. Everyone wants to be a philosopher and everyone wants to reach God. Gladiator is to see all the secrets. To be the dark hunters and dark guardians of this world. The ascetics. We do it because we see the light and we ARE the light. And earth is very very very dark. Everyone wants to be a philosopher and everyone wants to be an artist. It is absolutely the best way of being within. And all I have ever had. 

Success for the marriage Gladiator is therefore, to have moved completely out of love dependencies, love habits, and love searches and so deep into that art, that the art becomes the love. Because there is literally no one else. Either on earth or in heaven. Life, is a job. Earth is hell. Death is play. Good job I’m a workaholic. Gladiators can have nothing else. And we start late. Because The Universe has us fighting its battles for half our life. We are truly, alone. No one loves us. As it was meant to be. 

And then, we have to build, all over again. This time, thankfully, completely and utterly and belligerently, alone. And if you’re lucky, you are really in love this time. With the work. No ascetic’s life is forever. Just, alone. That is Gladiator. To be Warrior or Samurai is to be Gladiator against people. And that means, being alone, until an Emperor or Empress is killed. How, I do not know. Killed or left, whatever. And not, I am sure, always guaranteed. 

The point is that it is a rite of passage, the likes of which I could never have imagined, and which I lie in shock, looking at now. Spirituality is a fuck of a lot more complex, beyond complex, than we think it is, with many types of healer jobs going on, without our knowledge. 

The ignorance is what hurts us the most. The shock of finding out all these things in the most repetitive, training, defining way, has been just for that. To create the education we all need. If I ever pick myself up off the floor, I’ll let you know. And then, it takes time for thesis. Asceticism is no motivation anymore. I’m tired and hurt. 

But I love my work. And at least, that, loves me. Me, myself and me. Unconditional love. Even Divinity, puts me last. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Walk The Line 

Walk the Line is a 2005 American biographical drama film directed by James Mangold and based on the early life and career of country music artist Johnny Cash. The film stars Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Robert Patrick.

The film focuses on Cash's early life, his romance with June Carter, and his ascent to the country music scene, with material taken from his autobiographies. The film's production budget is estimated to have been US$28,000,000.

Walk the Line previewed at the Telluride Film Festival on September 4, 2005, and went into wide release on November 18. The film was nominated for five Academy Awards including Best Actor (Joaquin Phoenix), Best Actress (Reese Witherspoon, which she won), and Best Costume Design (Arianne Phillips). The film grossed a total of $186,438,883 worldwide.

In 1968, an audience of inmates at Folsom State Prison cheer for Johnny Cash's band as he waits backstage near a table saw, reminding him of his early life.

In 1944, Johnny, then known as J.R., grows up the son of a share cropper on a cotton farm in Dyess, Arkansas, and is adept with hymnals, while his brother Jack is training himself to become a pastor. While Jack is sawing wood for a neighbor, J.R. goes fishing while he finishes. However, Jack injures himself with the saw, and dies of his injuries. Cash's strained relationship with his father Ray, becomes much more difficult after Jack's death. In 1950, J.R. enlists in the United States Air Force as Johnny Cash, and is posted in West Germany. One day in 1952, he finds solace in playing a guitar he bought and writing songs—one of which will become "Folsom Prison Blues". Cash is eventually discharged, and marries his girlfriend Vivian Liberto. The couple move to Memphis, Tennessee, where Cash works as a door-to-door salesman to support his growing family. He walks past a recording studio, which inspires him to organize a band to play gospel music. Cash's band auditions for Sam Phillips, the owner of Sun Records. Phillips interrupts the audition and asks Cash to play a song that he really "feels", prompting them to play "Folsom Prison Blues". The band is contracted by Sun Records.

The band begins touring as Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two. He meets many different artists on tour, including June Carter, with whom Cash soon falls in love. Cash begins spending more time with June, who divorces her first husband, Carl Smith. After an attempt by Cash to woo June backfires, he begins to take drugs and alcohol. After his behavior peaks during a performance with June, they go their separate ways. 

Over Vivian's objections, Johnny persuades June to come out of semi-retirement at an awards show and tour with him. The tour is a success, but backstage, Vivian is critical of June's influence. After one Las Vegas performance, Cash and June sleep together in her hotel room. The next morning, she notices Cash taking several pills and begins to doubt her choices. At that evening's concert, Cash, upset by Carter's apparent rejection, behaves erratically and eventually passes out. June disposes of Cash's drugs and begins to write "Ring of Fire", describing her feelings for Cash and her pain at watching him descend into addiction.

On his way home, Cash travels to Mexico to purchase more drugs and is arrested. Cash's marriage to Vivian begins to crumble and after a final violent dispute, the pair eventually divorce and Cash moves to Nashville in 1966. In an attempt to reconcile with June, Cash buys a large house near a lake in Hendersonville. His parents, and the extended Carter family, arrive for Thanksgiving, at which time Ray dismisses his son's achievements and behavior. After eating, June's mother—aware of her daughter's true feelings toward Cash—encourages her to help him. After a long detoxification period, Cash wakes up with June by his side. June says she, and God, have given Cash a second chance. Although not formally a couple, the two begin to spend most of their time with each other.

Cash discovers that most of his fan mail comes from prisoners, impressed with the outlaw image that Cash has cultivated. Cash visits his recording company he signed with in 1958, Columbia Records, and proposes that he record an album live inside Folsom Prison. Despite Columbia's doubts, Cash says that he will perform regardless and the label can use the tapes if they wish.

At the Folsom Prison concert, Cash tells how he always admired prisoners, explaining that his arrest for drug possession helped him to relate to them. The concert is a great success, and Cash embarks on a tour with June and his band.

While on a tour bus, Cash goes to see June in the back of the bus. Waking up June, he proposes to her, but she turns him down. At the next concert, June tells him that he is only allowed to speak with her on stage. There, Cash persuades June to join him in a duet. In the middle of the song, Cash stops playing, explaining that he cannot sing "Jackson" any more unless June agrees to marry him. June eventually accepts and they share a passionate embrace on stage.

Wikipedia

Hell is other people. Jean Paul Sartre 

It's not what they do to you, it's what you do with what they do to you that counts. Jean Paul Sartre 

My life is about exploring love. I've explored obsession, loss, strange sexual fetish stuff. But I'm still on that journey. Nicole Kidman 

It was only a sunny smile, And little it cost in the giving. But like morning light, it scattered the night, And made the day worth living. Great Connections 

Things don't have to change the world to be important. Steve Jobs

Once open never closed. Never closed again. Never closed always open. Harold Pinter 

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. ~ Maya Angelou 

To get it right be born with luck or else make it. ~ Ruth Gordon

Kafka. The Years of Insight

Kafka:

The Years of Insight

Reiner Stach

Translated by Shelley Frisch

This volume of Reiner Stach's acclaimed and definitive biography of Franz Kafka tells the story of the final years of the writer's life, from 1916 to 1924--a period during which the world Kafka had known came to an end. Stach's riveting narrative, which reflects the latest findings about Kafka's life and works, draws readers in with a nearly cinematic power, zooming in for extreme close-ups of Kafka's personal life, then pulling back for panoramic shots of a wider world scarred by World War I, disease, and inflation.

In these years, Kafka was spared military service at the front, yet his work as a civil servant brought him into chilling proximity with its grim realities. He was witness to unspeakable misery, lost the financial security he had been counting on to lead the life of a writer, and remained captive for years in his hometown of Prague.

The outbreak of tuberculosis and the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire constituted a double shock for Kafka, and made him agonizingly aware of his increasing rootlessness. He began to pose broader existential questions, and his writing grew terser and more reflective, from the parable-like Country Doctor stories and A Hunger Artist to The Castle.

A door seemed to open in the form of a passionate relationship with the Czech journalist Milena Jesenská. But the romance was unfulfilled and Kafka, an incurably ill German Jew with a Czech passport, continued to suffer. However, his predicament only sharpened his perceptiveness, and the final period of his life became the years of insight.

Reiner Stach worked extensively on the definitive edition of Kafka's collected works before embarking on this three-volume biography. The second volume, Kafka: The Decisive Years (Princeton), is also available. The first volume, covering Kafka's childhood and youth, is forthcoming. Shelley Frisch's translation of the second volume was awarded the Modern Language Association's Aldo and Jeanne Scaglione Prize. She has translated many other books from German, including biographies of Nietzsche and Einstein, and she holds a PhD in German literature from Princeton University.

Review:

"[S]cholars and specialists lost and absorbed in the many rooms of the Kafka factory will find much to discuss in the labors of Reiner Stach."--Joy Williams, New York Times Book Review

"This well-researched new biography details the last nine years of Franz Kafka's life and explores the personal, social, and political events that shaped his writing. . . . Despite the narrow time frame, this insightful book is likely to become a standard by which future biographies are measured."--Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)

"This work is a monumental accomplishment with a first-rate translation by scholar Frisch."--Library Journal (Starred Review)

"Conclusion of a massive, comprehensive life of the famed Czech/German/Jewish writer, chockablock with neuroses, failures and moments of brilliance. . . . An illuminating book built, like its subject's life, on small episodes rather than great, dramatic turning points. Essential for students and serious readers of Kafka."--Kirkus Reviews (Starred Review)

"With impressive insight into imaginative artistry, Stach illuminates the way Kafka responds to personal trauma and global firestorm, sometimes incorporating his negative circumstances into his fiction, but sometimes transcending those circumstances in metaphysical creations informed by a profoundly personal myth. This literary-biographical analysis will help scholars penetrate major Kafka works, including The Castle and The Trial, The Hunger Artist and The Burrow. Thanks to a lucid translation, English-speaking readers can now share the German enthusiasm for this masterful portrait."--Bryce Christensen, Booklist (Starred Review)

Princeton University Press Review

Worry often gives a small thing a great shadow. Swedish Proverb 

And behold! An eagle swept through the air in wide circles, and on it hung a serpent, not like a prey, but like a friend: Friedrich Nietzsche 

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where I renew my springs that never dry up. ~ Buck 

You'll Never get ahead of anyone as you try to get even with him (her). Lou Holtz 

Once you choose HOPE, Anything's...POSSIBLE. Christopher Reeve

You will never face a problem that is not charged with opportunity. ~ Unknown 

Your eyes, your eyes, your great big eyes. Harold Pinter 

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. Friedrich Nietzsche 

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Mark Twain 

Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought. Pope John Paul II

The Love lll Pt ll (Artwork) 

AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch Society™. When we were giants. All of us. When you did more than rape me. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Hierophant as Outlaw. Amera Ziganii Rao 

A Hierophant is an interpreter of sacred mysteries and arcane principles. 'Jake Sully' (James Cameron's Avatar) is her protector. Apparently, that can again, exist. Her Sacred Warrior Protector™. That, they tell me, is the aim. I don't know about that. Integration is not the game. Getting out and thriving as Outlaw, is. Then we see I suppose what comes next. But ain't nothing sacred in brotherhood for women on this earth. Hierophant however is very sacred and very present. Hierophant is all the sacred we will ever need, on this present, brotherless (towards women) earth. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

A man is therefore, finally, only one thing; a killer, disguised as a lover. The antagonist element from hell. And we are condemned to have to relate, no matter what. Killers, disguised as lovers = men.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. Amera Ziganii Rao 

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. When we were giants. All of us. When women were giants and men were men. Real sacred men. The Hierophant Wizard Warriors™ (female and male) and the Wizard Warriors™ (male and female). The Nymph Priestess Warriors™ and the Werewolves who loved them. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Consciousness. The politics of the 21st century. The Lost Knowledge. Forget trying to change the world. Change yourself. It changes your own world that changes THE world. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Men Are For Sex. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Exactly. And that is why, my conclusion on the male species is finally, this. You are for sex. That's it. Done. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Sensuality. Cut off to you for 8000 years. Rape is all you have. Darth Vader has you in his grip. And now we know why. And by the way, sadism is conscious. You know that already. Now, I do too. Misogyny is just sadism, as is all cruelty and prejudice and slavery. Deliberate cruelty, done out of fear. You. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

No one is born a sadist or a tyrant, or an arsehole. All misogynists are arseholes. All men are misogynists. I don’t mind. I can live with anyone. It’s called Earth, but let’s not pretend. Sadism is the key to corruptibility. Sadism is a conscious choice. Sadism is childhood anger, unresolved. Sadism is celestial anger, unresolved. Sadism is a choice. Sadism is ‘Dracula’. Sadism is male supremacy and sadism is narcissistic selfishness. Ergo, men are for sex. Get used to it. I am. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

And I already have the love of my life. My mind. Don't worry about it. You are for sex and you think you are kings. Got it. And gone. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Well, you made the mistake that all do. You asked me to choose. You will always lose. I was born free, like you. I am to be loved, LIKE YOU. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013 

It is one thing to study war and another to live the warrior's life. Telamon of Arcadia. Fifth Century Mercenary

I don’t know who you’re fighting son, but it’s not me. I’m not your enemy...a chat. You know where to find me. Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein

Soul, continued. Amera Ziganii Rao 

That’s okay. Even my mind was mediocre once. For a long time. Ego is mediocrity. Soul is not. You have achieved that excellence in your art forms and your business forms and your working life forms. You have not, in your personal life. That is to be male. To be female is to have achieved that excellence in my personal life, as – with no results – a person who can love and therefore not be bullied by anyone again. A person who has courage in love and therefore the ability to love just as you have courage in your working life and how long I had to work on myself to become that. In my working life, the excellence material generating and art contribution and business of art pursuit has just begun after the two decades of training and visceral experience. That is what it is to be female. Floored by a chronic disability, so I had to go within and you, floored by the will to win, let’s say. To create your stability and place on earth. 

Just musings. The point is that you are mediocre in your mind and it’s because you can love anything and anyone else, other than women, and you most want to love women. Your emotional intelligence and healing of applying soul to convert ego, is a work you had no idea you had to do in relationship. You thought it was just for work. That is The World of Men, the normal world. 

Now, you grow in peace. As do I. The only peace I can have, unfortunately, for me, is without you. You are still a misogynist and in the mediocre mind and heart. There is a mediocre heart too. It’s called foolish illusions to sustain our will to live, in ego. Absolutely understandable. As you will find, they lead nowhere. Ego finally goes when it begins to give up. When you find out there is nowhere to take it. Other than into more mediocrity and more isolation. From women. The very people you most want to love. 

Other than that, you do love. You are still here and so am I. That, it seems in the ridiculous concept of relationship between man and woman, Earth King and Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch™ to be truly, ‘as good as it gets’. And for that, we should be truly grateful. Grace is accepting context. 

Who the fuck, loves? Exactly. 

Austerity, isolation, asceticism and art and business, and for you, love asceticism and austerity. And having to cleanse your ‘relationship’ soul. We both lead empty lives. Great, empty, lives. And that will have to do. We are on Earth. 

‘After The Ecstacy, The Laundry’ is the most apt title of a work by Jack Kornfield. 

Before The Ecstacy, A Life of Ascension. Moving through every single painful emotion on Earth possible. Together. 

And for that, one has to be truly grateful and accept that while ‘peace talks’ at least can continue, there is hope. 

‘All we need is love’ means all we need is hope. Hope, that the terrible ‘divide and rule’ of the beginning of the separation into dark and light, can one day be overcome. So lambs do become lions and indeed, so do, finally, men. 

Going to do some courage training. Steven Pressfield has written a nice piece of wisdom, called ‘The War of Art’. We will use it as ‘The War of Life’. I can use it as motivation obviously for me, even though I have integrated the whole book already. You can use it for life, for relationship. 

It’s all the same thing. Intimacy, honesty and showing up as the egoless self, with a habitual need to overcome fear, and the habitual need for humility and growth and peace, and giving to share, is a great life. You want to be great in relationship too. 

In other words, forget the misogyny and the financial whoremongering and the need to cut off a woman’s ankles and have her stuck in a cage or stuck in the kitchen or cleaning toilets or wiping your brow, or whatever other insane things, The World of Men propaganda teaches you into. You will clear that last, not first. And you know now, and there’s no point in beating you about the head over it. We know now. The question is what do we do about it, any of us, how do we live with that, seeing as in some sick way, it is the plan of The Universe, that you, and ‘you’ as a collective, deny love and deny yourselves love, so we can grow. And endure, being actively hated.  So we can become absolute, unconditional love. Self sufficient and loving, through the darkness that is you. 

Nymphs and Werewolves. Taking responsibility for what that Divine Fetish™ means. The compassion of the passion and the growth of the passion and the discovery of the compassion as states of being. The Hierophant and Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch™, and Sacred Pimp™, truth. 

Whatever it is. We have each other. We are not alone. We are found. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013 

Resistance is Impersonal. Steven Pressfield

Resistance is not out to get you personally. It doesn’t know who you are and doesn’t care. Resistance is a force of nature. It acts objectively. 

Though it feels malevolent, Resistance in fact operates with the indifference of rain and transits the heavens by the same laws as the stars. When we marshal our forces to combat Resistance, we must remember this. 

Steven Pressfield

Helen Mirren on miserable self obsession. Talent Development 

Much of this site is about how self-awareness impacts our creativity and personal development. But self-exploration can also get obsessive, or we may not find the right people to help, as Helen Mirren notes in her memoir. Here is an excerpt:

Part of my job as an actress is to do interviews, but while I find it easy to talk about the work, I tend to frustrate interviewers by avoiding talking about myself. For the same reason I have never been to a shrink.

Actually, I lie; I did go to a shrink once. When I was about twenty-three I was very unhappy and, yes, self-obsessed and insecure.

It seems to me that the years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It’s then you realize this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult – but you are not ready.

I just could not believe that anything I desired would happen, and the responsibility of making my own way, economically, artistically and emotionally, was terrifying. So I went to a psychologist.

Now I don’t know whether he did this on purpose, realising that all I needed to do was grow up, but after I had poured out my unhappiness to him, the psychologist very, very quietly, in a strong Scottish accent, began to explain to me the root cause and solution to my misery.

I could not understand a word.

I asked him if he wouldn’t mind repeating it. He did, and I still couldn’t understand a word.

The fourth time of asking I gave up, and realised that an analyst was not going to work for me.

My next stop on this journey of self-discovery was to visit a hand reader. Though I’ve never been a believer in astrology or the art of reading palms, I was pretty desperate and he came highly recommended.

So I made my way to a nondescript house in a back street of Golders Green and went into the dingy, very ordinary living room where he did his readings. He was an Indian man, more like an accountant than a mystic. I liked him. He handed me cheap paper and a pencil, saying, ‘I will study your hand and then I will speak very fast.

You will not remember what I will say, so write it down as fast as you can.’ And that was exactly what happened. He spent about ten minutes intensely studying my hand, I can’t remember which one, and then he began to speak. I had to write so fast I could not take stock of what he was saying.

After about twenty minutes, I was a fiver poorer and back on the street with my whole future life spelt out in scrawling script on a massive heap of paper. It was quite true, I could not remember any of it. Well, there is one thing I remember. He said, ‘You will be successful in life, but you will see your greatest success later, after the age of forty-five.’

Not something you want to hear at the age of twenty-three, but it turned out he was right.

At least it brought to an end my period of desperate introspection and miserable self obsession.

As I looked at those scrawled pages, I realised that I did not want to know what the future held. I wanted my life to be an adventure. Whatever pleasure or pains, successes or failures, disasters or triumphs were waiting for me, I wanted them to come as a surprise.

I took the pages and stuffed them into the first rubbish bin I could find, then stepped out into the rest of my life.

From In the Frame: My Life in Words and Pictures, by Helen Mirren.

~~~

A Woman of Letters 

A Woman of Letters. A woman who is devoted to literary or scholarly pursuits: "[Eva Le Gallienne] was ... a woman of letters who produced forcefully elegant translations of Ibsen and Hans Christian Andersen" (Margo Jefferson). The Free Dictionary

1. a woman who is a scholar 2. a woman who is an author

© Alchemy & Liberation Methods of Change™. Amera Ziganii Rao 

It is my low self esteem and lack of confidence that are my vulnerabilities. I allow that. I am so courageous to do anything as a result. I have low self esteem and that is okay because I have the right to have a vulnerability and to be human. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

The enemy. To be acknowledged and then ignored: A disempowerer. A poisonous person. A self esteem sucker. A dream crusher. Evil. A person of the lie. The bitter. The unforgiving. A self belief murderer. The cruel. The venomous. The sick who have not yet acknowledged their sickness. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I intend to become love now and leave the selfish, conditional, testing love of my past behaviour behind. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

My love purpose. Unconditional love. Love without conditions. Love without demands. Love with no selfishness. Love with no blame. Love with no projection. Love with taking responsibility for regularly ‘eating’ my ‘agents’ of; rejection, abandonment, judgement, fear of judgement, addiction and all the rest. Not taking anything personally and not, NOT giving anything because of personal issues. And love with total empathy. His (her) vulnerability is my vulnerability is his (hers). Unconditional love. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

God wants me to question God! 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I release all fear of abandonment in life. I release all fear of rejection. I am love and the fear is not real. If it is, it is not personal. I accept the truth of that. I am love and I am loveable and I am loved. I release all fear of rejection and abandonment and look to myself to lead in love instead. To lead in love and lead in life. I am love, and loved. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I take my fear and I get out of the way. I let soul speak. I release the fear of soul speaking and I let Her speak. I welcome getting out of the way. I welcome my real parent. Soul. I trust the invisible. I trust not holding onto anything and letting Her speak life through me, whether I am female or male. I let Her speak through me. I get out of the way in relief and happiness. I ignore the fear and I see what happens. I like it. I like getting out of the way. And when I do, I like what I see and hear. I like getting out of the way. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I acknowledge, female or male, that my body is the most seditious thing I own. That my body represents everything that normal religious or non religious society says is shameful. I acknowledge that my body, my primal, my sexual, my sensual, my physical, my passionate, my courageously rage ridden heart of truth, my instinctive hunter self, female or male is the most vilified, attacked and shamed thing on the planet and I reject all subconscious temptation to succumb to that piece of crap teaching. I release all subconscious temptation to succumb to these forms of endemic and psychologically war-faring, slave control. I like my body, my sensuality, my sexuality, my passion and my heart. I demand to own it, show it and live by it. I release all inhibition and know this is my most basic human right. I release all the subconscious shame and terror that I have lived with since I can remember. I have a right to be sensual and I claim it completely and utterly and forever. I go up against the tribe. I am sex. I am love. I am life. I step out of the tribe and I leave those behind, who do not have the courage. There are only two tribes and I no longer live in the normal one. I am sex. I am love. I am life. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I embrace my tender and deeply sensitive and SPIRITUALLY YEARNING heart. Temple or mortal, Hierophant Priestesses (Priests) or Earth Kings and Queens, archetype or the other, female or male, I embrace my spiritual heart. The one that’s been dead a very long time. That cerebral, angry, cynical, dry, bitter, cold and logical scientific mind of mine, that has bandaged up my agony about my past. I embrace the return of my spiritual, emotional and tearful heart again. I embrace the truth that I do have it. The inner heart. The gift of Wizard is not exclusive. And neither is the way of Hierophant. I have denied imagination my whole life and I release that lie. I accept my yearning heart. I accept that my yearning heart is a heart of love. I remember that I once loved. Once loved everything. I accept that not only have I been traumatised by life, I have been traumatised by birth. I release my rage. I accept too, that I have been a coward all my life. I accept that I have bought the bullying. That my macho (female or male) mask hides the truth. That to be tender on Earth is the most dangerous thing. I do it anyway. I do it because I am strong. I am strong because I am spirit. I remember Spirit and Spirit remembers me. I am spirit. I release all rage at birth, terror at being alive and remember that I am no longer a small child. I am no longer defenceless and I can release the wounds of being powerless. I am power. I am spirit. I release fear of loss, fear of rejection and fear of other people. I am spirit. I am me. I am the intelligence and beauty of love. I am the courage of love. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I release my adoration and love for enslaving other human beings. I release all beliefs, deeply hidden within me, that women are here to be my slaves. I release my fantasy of The Geisha Slaver™. I release my dinosaur ‘liberal’ misogyny. It is still slavery and I finally accept that I am not allowed to do it anymore. I finally accept I have to share power. I hate that. I want to be able to do what my father was allowed to do. What every other man is allowed to do. I love power and want to hold onto it. I accept I am fucked. That The New World is here, whether I like it or not. I release the dinosaur in me. The Geisha Slaver™. I accept that I hate that and I accept I am allowed to hate it, but I also accept that it’s wrong. I have to share power and I find the humility in myself to know that my days of the ‘RingWraith’ are over. The days of corruption are over. I accept I am being forced to share power and submit to the torture of it. I accept and embrace the state of love and innocence instead. I am humbled and I embrace the redemption. I embrace it, for ALL the women I know and want to love. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I release my adoration and love for enslaving other human beings. I release all beliefs, deeply hidden within me, that anyone is here to be my slave. As a mother or father, I release my will to suffocate, control, keep by my side and have as my own, my personal priestess or priest. I acknowledge that my child is an individual in their own right. As offspring, I release my will to suffocate and demand ownership of my parent or parent figure in my life. As an automatic, programmed enslaver, I release my will to own my child/friend/sister/brother and so on. I embrace the freedom of loving truly. Of not owning anyone or anything. Of loving. Of loving myself enough to love. Of trusting my own loveability, instead of needing to control every person around me. I am love and I am loved. I no longer believe in enslaving other human beings. I believe in love and take responsibility, happily, for my own greeds and needs. Control is not love. I, male or female, totally accept that harsh discipline of reality. I embrace unselfish love, whatever it takes. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I embrace the deep secret of my heart. The Shaman yearning to learn how to connect with what is Spirit. The yearning we all have. The gift that we all have to whichever level. The many different kinds of latent spiritual healers that we all are. Those of us who feel the music. And those of us who try. I release all fear about the ‘alternative’ spiritualities and consciousness explorations that seem to be everywhere now. All fear, all judgment and all logical reasons, not to look into myself. I release the old life and embrace the necessity and fascination of looking within and embracing the emotional, thought and feeling frontiers of my being. I accept the pain that is involved and I dive in. I like it and I dive in. I release all bourgeois conditioning and religious induced judgements that pervade my whole subconscious being. I release both the ‘education’ of it, and the folk tales that have dulled my mind into only metaphor, without analysis. I embrace spiritual analysis. I embrace shaman, Hierophant and anything else that is out there. I commit to the education and open up to a wide and beautiful, new world. I embrace The Female Wisdom Society™ and I embrace the Sacred Whore High Priestess. I love women and embrace ALL that they are. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I totally release any draw towards personal relationship of any kind, now and forever. I accept that love is a utopian reality from the ancient world and no longer available on earth. Hell is not only other people, other than in business, hell is the world of men. Hell is men. I accept and release relationship forever. I believed that it was me who was not loved. I know now that it has never been personal. No one is loved. Men do not love. They try. The men and women who are outside of the temple. But they do not love. No one loves anyone. The ancient world is lost. I embrace the real New World; self determination, individuality, universal love and total and utter self care and self companionship. There can be no love in the world of men. I am willing to face the pain of that grief and begin again. I thought they didn’t love me. I know now they just do not love. Mira Nair’s Kama Sutra indeed. Walking away. All round. Done. Now, I am free. This IS as good as it gets. As far as love is concerned of course. Everything else? Yes please. Now, that can be great. That I can love. That, I can finally do. As Alfred Lord Tennyson says, ‘’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all’. I loved and I grew strong. He never loved. He will never grow strong. 

The ancient world is lost. All that remains is male vanity for something they never even did. But we are back. The Priest Valkyries. The Warlords of Light™. The rest will come in Millennia. The New World is hard and cold and lonely. It is also free. ‘Freedom or death’. Emmeline Pankhurst said exactly 100 years ago. Free just ain’t free. But it is free. And that will have to do. Anything is better than the agony of being with a limp and lifeless cock of cruelty. Male or female, I’ve ‘enjoyed’ it for the last time. Thank fuck for that. The New World. It will rape you beyond death. But it is The New World. And it is a path that has to be completed. It makes us who we are. The bliss and the violation is essential, for us to find the will to live. 

I embrace those truths, accept the emotional, spiritual and human ‘rape’ of it all, and walk the new path at last and in relief. I can already see everyone else who is on it. I never wanted a ‘Mark Anthony’ anyway. And that is why there can never be pacts between Lionesses and men. I wanted a Caesar. I wanted an equal. The idealism of the stupid world. They were never our equals. They only look like men. Desire is easy. Desire is everywhere. Desire is the only friendship between High Priestesses and the world of men. And soul desire does one fine. That is the return home, through violation. 

The rest is lies. The rest is greatness. The rest is female Temple greatness and love. The rest is life. The rest is friendship. The Age of Aquarius indeed. Anything, as long as it’s not personal. That time is not yet here. This is the time for universal love, and war. Business, achievement and conquering old patterns. Defeating the poison that is out there by redressing the balance.

This is the time for love. My love. Alone. The lone cowgirl at last. The nomad and the gypsy. Samurai. Amera Ziganii Rao. The abundance and life force of the outsiders will inherit the earth.

Thanks for the memories and fuck ‘love’ anyway. I’m busy. Busy forever. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I release all fear of abandonment in life. I release all fear of rejection. I am love and the fear is not real. If it is, it is not personal. I accept the truth of that. I am love and I am loveable and I am loved. I release all fear of rejection and abandonment and look to myself to lead in love instead. To lead in love and lead in life. I am love, and loved. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

I take my fear and I get out of the way. I let soul speak. I release the fear of soul speaking and I let Her speak. I welcome getting out of the way. I welcome my real parent. Soul. I trust the invisible. I trust not holding onto anything and letting Her speak life through me, whether I am female or male. I let Her speak through me. I get out of the way in relief and happiness. I ignore the fear and I see what happens. I like it. I like getting out of the way. And when I do, I like what I see and hear. I like getting out of the way. 

© Alchemy & Liberation Method of Change™

AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™

The Return to The Source. Ascension. Philosophy. Metaphysical Philosophy. Prophet Shamanism. Applied Psychology. Applied Spirituality. Applied Politics. Applied Human Rights. Applied Sexuality & Spirituality. Applied Power. The Healing of The Human Heart. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch Society™. Amera Ziganii Rao Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. The Hierophant Business™

ESSAY RHETORIC. POETRY POLEMICS. PERFORMANCE: FREESPEAK & TRANSFORMATIONAL EDUCATIONAL. METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHY. DIALECTICS. SELF ACTUALISATION TECHNIQUES. MENTALISM. THEOLOGY. SPIRITUALITY. PSYCHOLOGY. POLITICS. ANTHROPOLOGY. SEX. PHOTOGRAPHY. THE PERFORMING ACTS. DESIGNING. THE PRIMAL OF POWER. THE LOST KNOWLEDGE™. HIEROPHANT SHAMANISM™. THE WIZARDRY OF BEING™. ALL THAT IS LOVE & POWER. ALL THAT IS SEX. ALL THAT IS THOUGHT. ALL THAT IS THE HEART. ALL THAT IS THE PRESENCE OF SPIRIT ON EARTH. AND ALL THAT IS NOT!

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Illegal Wolf Pt lll (Artwork) 

Take refuge in The Great Protector and past lives dissolve like the mists. Kuan Yin

One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others. ~ Levi Strauss 

If u really want something, & really work hard, & take advantage of opportunities, & never give up, u will find a way. Jane Goodall 

When Love & skill work together, expect a masterpiece. ~ John Ruskin 

I've always taken risks, and never worried what the world might really think of me. M. C. Escher 

You can now masturbate in public.. in Sweden. News Headline 

Being nice makes you sexier, study shows. News Headline 

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. William Shakespeare 

Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas. ~J.K. Rowling 

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called. -1Tim 6:12 

I am not a teacher ... I am an awakener. ~ Robert Frost 

Reach within to find your own specialness. Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day. Rock Christopher

True Love. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Let’s break it down. You love me, I know and it’s beautiful. Exquisite. But you love me for what I do for you and for what I look like. I love you for what you do for me, for what you look like, for what you do and who you are. I love you for who you are. You do not love me for who I am. You love me for the way I look. And the way I look, next to you. That is objectification. Desiring, to the selfish and programmed, slavery, chattel, ‘romantic’ dehumanisation of a woman. 

And not caring, not really caring, for what I do or want to do, outside of you. I desire you and I humanise you too. The self punitive ascension of ego into soul. The discipline of true love. Mastery over passion and need and greed and projecting fear into need. 

Objectification and all the other dependencies, are of course, holding someone else responsible for our happiness. And driving another person (truly) mad, because you take away their right to grow and their fundamental human right to self discovery, just like you. Because you cannot overcome fear of loss. Overcoming that is the healing of the root of it all. Having to become unconditional love, WITH ME. Just like you do, with anyone else. That is true love. Not needing (in neediness) and not over needing, the person you love MOST. 

True love is about facing the devastation that whatever we do, whatever we try to control, we have to be alone as much as we are together. Both of us, for the same reasons. I deserve the rewards that come with that sacrifice too. 

That is your goal. That is, finally, my safety. And my redemption, in yours. 

Making my freedom as important in the home, as yours. And you know what that means and that is about something else for you. Stepping out of another background that you have become and becoming, again. Owning what you have already become and stepping out of your own unconscious ‘no man’s lands’. We all have them and it seems, they create new at each level. 

Freedom is freedom and doesn’t stop for layers. The question is whether we are capable of bidding and creating that mutual freedom together, and that means, domestic staff from you, it means de-chattelling pain for me, it means de-fascist pain for you, it means hard work, so the art of it can flow, just like anything. 

We’re not eighteenth and nineteenth century anymore. I hunt like you. The old world has gone. My MADNESS has gone, because I hunt like you. And because I have finally, been able to grow up. And that’s because I have FINALLY in life been able to focus on myself, as if I have spent 30 years negotiating for the right to an education , as a female. This is epic healing. Ain’t nothing ordinary going on here. The symbolism of the girl being shot in the face. Frankly, I feel like I have been shot in the face for 30 years, if not 40 and I can guarantee you, that there is not one Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch™ or Priest in this world, who does not feel the same way, and when you think about the unconscious drive to keep us silent, the real reason behind so called protection and the real reason why I am to be culled and silenced and bonded into domestic slavery, and handmaiden slavery, the plot only thickens. Into the treacle of poison that is The World of Men. That is not you. We were all brainwashed and programmed, out of who we are. Now it’s your turn. 

YOUR madness is going because you finally know you can still be you. You have loved women for not who they are, and you have not been loved, for who you are, in turn. Clumsy though that definition is, it’s as twisted and silly as that. Your fear of loss is based on the fact that you dehumanise women and expect them to love you. It’s not real. 

Now, you are finally getting it. Now, you are finally falling in love with me. Now, you are finally, becoming love, with me. Now, you are finally, absolutely, worthy of loving a woman. You like who I am. The rest is controlling yourself in MASTERY, the way any self respecting Sacred Pimp™ should. I have to. And it is bloody hard work. Like any art form, it just makes the love sweeter and more ecstatic. Mastery of the craft, (says Robert McKee, the storytelling expert from the film world, or words to the effect of), frees the subconscious. 

Love is the same. Loving as a dominant or a submissive in true art form terms, or loving as a man and loving as a woman. In the political framework that is the legacy of dolly wives and cold husbands, that is artform enough. We don’t even have to get kinky. Just the partnership of the two people, The World Slave Order™, made sure and makes sure it divides every second of every day. We are not kinky. We are revolutionaries. 

Anyone who can love across the divide in this world, is a genius revolutionary. I’m one, and so, most definitely, are you. We are the art of love. If you can humanise me into fellowship, along with the love. And the fellowship of love means I hunt just like you. And hey, I may even hunt with you. That is our privilege, beyond fellowship. So many privileges come beyond fellowship. But the brotherhood need that Simone de Beauvoir talks about, that a man has to extend to a woman, to love her appropriately, is also actually sisterhood. 

Fellowship between men is not just male. You sister each other as much as you brother each other. Your ‘anima’ is intact. Adult women happily brother other women, as well as sister other women, and happily brother men as well as sister them. And all this transfers to mothers and fathers too. It is your sisterhood and brotherhood I wait for. And that I can see, emerging. 

I need another revolutionary. That’s you. But you need to believe in the revolution, just like the best of them. Absolutely. So did I have to. I had to believe in you. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

True Love Training. Amera Ziganii Rao 

How do I handle it? Very good question. By looking after myself. I find the courage to see what you are still feeling, I find the courage to deliver the right message and I face the truth of why I am having to communicate that and I grieve. I grieve your lack of friendship once again and I take it not personally. In other words, I grieve and then do not take it personally and take it as the only spiritual wisdom I can; belligerent training to stand on my own two feet, emotionally, financially and professionally and personally, as I have been training to do in the face of the antagonism of your archetype my whole life. I have always used abuse. It’s what I do. That’s the easy part. 

The hard part is that it is you. 

Training oneself out of love, dependency led or not, co-dependency or not, is a universal requirement, just as any professional artist – across the board - or inventor or scientist or performer, has to do and do well. Relationship is therefore a performance and the most sincere and heartfelt and devoted performance one can make forever. It’s the least relaxed of all our relationships and the least comfortable. Because of the desire. It’s always there like a huge, celestial tidal wave of passion. Craving, needing, greeding and weeding. Wanting to be compliant forever, wanting to lie in your arms, wanting to escape into hedonism, wanting, wanting, wanting. 

Love training is generic. Like my disability, the need for discipline, feeling the pain and looking after my needs, despite wanting to race ahead is daily. The discipline, not to run. The discipline, to turn passion into compassion. 

The Hierophant gene means I have turned relationship abuse into relationship and people and personal healing for 17 years. All in one room as it were. Every day you show me you do not see me for who I am, other than as an accomplished companion for you – what men call a wife or girlfriend – you strip off another layer of love. Forever. It means, that, with the forgiveness that comes from the compassion of knowing finally that it is not personal, after feeling the grief of your emotional rape and callousness, I stand away from you and I stand closer to you at the same time. 

That is apparently intimacy. Real intimacy. 

Real intimacy is a strange feeling. I hate you as much as I love you, because I hate what you are but know what my channel is to The Universe and all that is Hierophant and Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch™. I know why I do what I do. And I also know, increasingly, why you currently do what you do and why you do what you do and why everything is – tragically – exactly as it should be. 

It’s a stand alone intimacy. I can’t need you anymore than I have ever been able to need anyone or anything. Fortunately, I am well trained in asceticism and now it has begun to sunk in, that asceticism is primarily about people, the training has stepped up a gear for sure. I can’t need you and yet, I am allowed to need you, I can’t surrender to you in trust, but I can surrender to loving you...in other words, it’s all in progress.

Always, in progress. The difference is that we are a team. You stab and I teach. I awaken and you stab. That stabbing strengthens me. I am after all, a Gladiator. I fight as a slave for The Universe. One day I will be free. 

These are all trainings in purifying love, across the board. We are the profound. We take our time to master passion. We live in an un-profound world. The authentic self is the most seditious thing one can ever show. Your authentic self is horrified at your ego self. But he’s not here yet. 

And my authentic self is now hunter obsessed. About time and when you realise that life has been shooting you in the face from every angle, because you don’t have a cock, and you should be caged up and shut up as a female and that no one gives a flying fuck about anything about you, other than how you look and what kind of companion you can make, love is about as interesting as the mind of the current UK Prime Minister. I actually cannot be bothered to say his name. So banal in his feudalism of the old world, reptilian led agenda from hell, that he is. I get all that, just from the vibration of his face. Modern misogyny is modern fascism. Same thing, dressed up. 

That’s what love with a man means to me, when you stab me. So it really helps my love training too. And that is surely, what this whole thing is about. You and I are beyond love. That takes taming across the board. We are also huge personalities with huge drive and fire. That takes training and taming. You believe the whole world serves you as a male. That most certainly takes training, with two people as fire as each other. I believe (in superego) the whole world is what I should serve as a female. That most certainly takes training. 

Champions train. That is what I do with your stabbing. I shift into professional mode faster for it, in the day and sink into exactly what you sink into. My work. At the moment, ‘my pretty little head’ is doing ten things at once, in the middle of disability chronic pain, (and the washing up that I am ignoring), looking after you and me, Hierophant and female wise, and listening to leadership and orator training. Today it’s Winston Churchill and then Alistair Campbell. My day has just begun. 

That’s what pretty little girls do. They use their minds. Just like you. Unlike you, we do it alone. Completely, and utterly, in the face of fire in the face, alone, from birth. We choose to be hated, to be ourselves. From birth. 

Repetition is consciousness. Become the belief or not. But feel my power. It is LONG grown. 

I don’t need love. I don’t need anything. I want love. I want you. That is the love training you are in. Be that and you will lose your misogyny trap from hell. Tame want and you will have me. Tame need and you will love me. Misogyny is just the vehicle. Taming the passion is our job. Anything else is rape or annihilation, male or female. 

It’s not lack of ability. You just were never taught. You were taught to be selfish. You were taught to be selfish, mostly, about women. You were taught to be selfish, the most and above and beyond, about the woman you want more than anyone else. You were taught lies, just like the rest of us. 

And your drive for freedom and self autonomy matches mine. And if it doesn’t, I continue to alchemise into power, whatever the circumstance. I will reach anyway. With or without you. As me. 

You will make the difference as to whether I do it smiling or sad. That is love. That is non attachment. That is compassion. That is giving you freedom. Until you give me freedom, you give me nothing. Misogyny is just the vehicle. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita the generic narrative. You can’t eat what you love. You have to give it freedom. Anything else is not love. And it will always be left. It’s madness. Just because the whole world runs with it, it doesn’t mean to say it is not utterly insane. I’ve been leaving it my whole life, so far. 

Your journey is to finally feel the truth of that. 

Because I don’t want to leave you. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

True Love Training ll. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Because I don’t want to leave you...and I won't. And don't forget that I love you because you are phenomenal. You are my soul. You.

And yes, 'fatherhood' does exist. The purity of it. I am the ultimate 'daughter' because of my very self sufficiency. I give by allowing you to give to me. I give to myself, by allowing you to give to me. I let you give. I don't make you. Because I don't NEED you. I need you. As 'fatherhood' it has to be those equivalents. Giving because you can and not because you need to, but needing to, because you are allowed, and being pure in that, because you have let go of greed. So you can finally be given to, in safety. Because you can finally give. And giving, in pure 'fatherhood' is sisterhood, brotherhood, fellowship and seeing me as your son too. And your father, brother, mother, cousin and everything else. Being my friend. Letting me be me. Not smothering me, not controlling me and not denying me my right to self discovery and being a hunter too. 

Being a Daddy who can control his greed. Being a man who can honour Shaman. The Earth King who can honour The Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch. 

Being a brother as well as a father. Honouring both your strength and your vulnerability and taking responsibility for both. At the moment, you do neither. Misogyny blocks both. Ego stands between you and me. The impure father and the impure brother and the angry son and the brother as coward. 

No one needs that kind of protection anymore. I protect myself. Protection is therefore in this modern and crazy fairy tale, providing, encouraging and loving. Taking the competition and being able to separate that from the sex. 

Some say it is raising the sex out of the 'lower chakras' into the higher. An alchemical spiritual DNA shift that is launched the moment we agree, and surrender to our wiser self. The unseen self. Soul. Taming the beast of desire. 

I get it. Despite the gargantuan wealth of propaganda about male sexuality, male romance and male this, animus, the male psyche, split from the female psyche, anima, means you have had no EDUCATION about sexuality, sensuality, romance, relationship and women. 

Hence your remarkably classification of women and your immaturity that is so stark and so hidden behind necessary bravado. Your bullying hides real fear. 

Your uncertainty. 'Lolita' has to teach Daddy. And that of course, takes her friendship and again, total, de-infantising, self sufficiency and paradoxically, of course, at long last, her de-castration into adulthood, risking his loss all the way, because his dependency is based on the dire lack of knowledge of what relationship is and should be and how to handle that and how to handle the over romanticism that you carry around in that archetypal ego, against all that is visible. 

Got it. And then of course, the endless ends of illusion that you have to go through now. You are doing well. I'll bear the stabbings. 

Friendship from the soul. 

Being The Companion to a Prophet Shaman. The pure, father, brother, friend. The true love. No protection needed. Your friendship and helping in any way you can. That is love. Generosity and freedom. And continuous growth. 

A real life takes great courage. Because a real life can only be lived, with grief. 

Face that and you step into the new dimension. Unconditional, accepting, sad and blissful, permanently, non attaching, infuriating, self disciplined, LONELY, partnership love. Lonely, because of time away though and not lonely anymore, while being with the person who is apparently the love of your life and who shares himself or herself with everyone else, other than you, who sees EVERYONE else, other than you, who watches you shrivel into the lowest self esteem and rage and love it, because it keeps you with them. 

Loneliness and quality time. A far better option than that. Co-dependency and the inability to love is the greatest sadness and madness of this planet. 

You have the chance to leave that behind. And be the father to me, you want and yearn to be. To be a dominant leader, who knows how to be led. I am a person who knows how to be led, who is a dominant leader. 

A Lolita can only be happily Lolita, if she gets to be her dominant leadership too. AWAY from him. Is that true? I think that is the central message to who we are as women and men of 'lamb'. We like to hunt and we like to love. We hunt alone. We love as affiliative power. 

It is also as kinky as it can get. A strong woman who can totally take care of herself and who is ambitious and loud and who likes to be dominated and cared for in 'romance'. Because her man is the one man who is strong enough and kind enough to do that. Her wise 'Mark Anthony', through to 'Caesar' king. I thought that would have been the fantasy. 

Sadly it is not. 'When we were kings', it was. When WE were kings. 

That's what you are catching up to. While I soar, like a celestial eagle, over you. And absolutely, look after myself. 

I am of course, being completely looked after all day. Hierophant. 

I protect you. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Artists and Lovers. Amera Ziganii Rao 

You move me. We were both enslaved. You release your shame through fighting them, not through controlling my speech, or sharing with me in secret.

Artists and lovers. In any way we want. Independently and together. Don’t you know, therefore that modern protection is friendship and providing? Looking after me. Having the courage to stand up for it in yourself. Letting me protect you too. 

Taking responsibility for all the understandable inhibitions and learning the Hierophant way. Letting it all hang out, no matter what. If the drive for freedom is big enough, the drive for love is big enough too. And that is why you are my father, brother, lover. And you are about to get sacred. The lover and the poet. With me. With everyone. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Self Esteem Training. Amera Ziganii Rao 

You’re beautiful. And so am I. Self esteem training for us both. You think I don’t want to be available. I think you don’t want to love me. The two archetypal projections. Same thing. Self esteem = ability to love. Alchemy is the skill to keep converting it in each moment. Ego or soul, self esteem to self beauty. Confidence. Security. Trust. And of course, The New World. The way we both want it. Both of us. The central self. Us. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Trusting The New World. Amera Ziganii Rao 

Yes. I’m okay. I dream too, of the whole thing. I see yellow sunsets, blue skies, and land that is as big as deserts and oceans. I see the world and I see the peace of space and silence at last. A place where I can finally see God, The Mother, The Universe, The Womb of Creation, and God, The Father, The Brother, who is a part of Her. A place where I can finally see Her. She even took away the sun, such was my purpose, let alone the cell sized rooms. After the grey, urban – albeit posh – landscape I have been forced to see for 20 years, (actually, 48), I say a straight, yes, of course. Anything would do! Let alone all that you have built. 

You, however, are still a danger to me. You, however, are also, my salvation of trust. Misogyny. Get rid of it. Help me to fly – in the home and outside the home - make sure I can fly, encourage me to fly, want me to fly, enable me to fly, fly with me, take me flying with you, and I will rest my head anywhere, and be, finally, in awe and gratitude and joy and peace. You have – for now – all the material power we need. Use it well and you have me. We enter new territory now. For me, unprecedented. For you, your real dream. Me as me, with you as you. Make sure it’s my real dream too. Ascend. 

Make it a haven for me, and I will make sure heaven lives in you. Layer by layer. Get rid of it. Open your heart. I am The New World. 

I need a lot of looking after. You want to look after me. You heal me, I heal you. Misogyny and male supremacy and male selfishness and wifehood and allocated Elvis Priscilla Lockup roles, and domestic slavery and sabotaging a woman’s careers, seeing her work as less important, seeing her as a lost 8 year old girl as a lazy fetish, who is playing with the adults, not taking her seriously, not listening to her being serious, all these frankly, ridiculous and embarrassing clichés of behaviour, they have no place in our world. And they are most certainly, not you. 

Soul is becoming alignment with the splintered and courageous self who can’t get in because of the turgid, angry, self serving, narcissistic ego. 

But you have a very strong mind, like me. You also have strong spirit like me. So I can feel it, I commend you and praise you. But I am still scared. And sadly, I think I have cause to be. Misogyny is the enemy and not me. I am to be protected, from the misogyny, in you. By you. 

And then you get to show me heaven. Your heaven, on earth. Bluebeard as a reformed sadist and Lolita man monster. My Earth King as a feminist. A woman’s only, real, dream. A Sacred Whore High Priestess Monarch’s belligerent dream. Your salvation. You, loving a woman, again. You, loving again. You, loving, me. 

Then the trust art form can begin. Ex chattel to ex misogynist slaver. High marriage/relationship. The only thing worth having. 

‘Til then, my work is not done. Until, I can freely and with encouragement, support and space, do as much work as you. Until I can be loved, for me. I have no problem waiting. I’ve waited all my life. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Giant 

Giant is a 1956 American drama film, directed by George Stevens from a screenplay adapted by Fred Guiol and Ivan Moffat from the novel by Edna Ferber. The film stars Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean and features Carroll Baker, Jane Withers, Chill Wills, Mercedes McCambridge, Dennis Hopper, Sal Mineo, Rod Taylor, Elsa Cardenas and Earl Holliman. Giant was the last of James Dean's three films as a leading actor, and earned him his second and last Academy Award nomination – he was killed in a car accident before the film was released. Nick Adams was called in to do some voice-over dubbing for Dean's role.

In 2005, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".

Jordan "Bick" Benedict (Rock Hudson), head of a wealthy Texas ranching family, travels to Maryland to buy War Winds, a horse he is planning to put out to stud. There he meets and courts socialite Leslie Lynnton (Elizabeth Taylor), who breaks off an engagement to Sir David Karfrey (Rod Taylor) and marries Bick.

They return to Texas to start their life together on the family ranch, Reata, where Bick's sister Luz Benedict (Mercedes McCambridge) runs the household. Luz resents Leslie's presence and attempts to intimidate her. Jett Rink (James Dean) works for Luz and hopes to find his fortune by leaving Texas; he is also secretly in love with Leslie. 

When riding Leslie's beloved horse, War Winds, Luz expresses her hostility for Leslie by cruelly digging in her spurs. Luz dies after War Winds bucks her off. In her will, Jett is bequeathed land on the Benedict ranch. Bick tries to buy back the land, but Jett refuses to sell. Jett makes the land his home and names it Little Reata. Leslie and Bick have twins, Jordan "Jordy" Benedict III (Dennis Hopper) and Judy Benedict (Fran Bennett), and later have a daughter they name Luz Benedict II (Carroll Baker).

Jett discovers traces of oil in a footprint of Leslie's. He drills in the same spot and hits a gusher. Drenched in oil, he drives to the Benedict front yard and proclaims to the family and their guests that he will be richer than the Benedicts. In the years preceding World War II, Jett's oil drilling company prospers, but determined to continue to be a cattle rancher like his forefathers, Bick rejects several offers to drill for oil on Reata.

Tensions in Bick's and Leslie's household revolve around their children. Bick insists that Jordy must succeed him and run the ranch, as his father and grandfather did before him – but Jordy wants to become a doctor. Leslie wants Judy to attend finishing school in Switzerland, but Judy loves the ranch and wants to study animal husbandry at Texas Tech. Both children succeed in pursuing their own vocations. When WWII breaks out, Jett tries to persuade Bick to allow oil production on his land to help the war effort.

Realizing that his children will not take over the ranch when he retires, Bick agrees. Both Bick and Jett have a drinking problem. Luz II, now in her teens, starts flirting with Jett. Once oil production starts on the ranch, the wealthy Benedict family becomes even wealthier, as evidenced by the installation of a new swimming pool next to the house.

After the war, the Benedict-Rink rivalry continues, coming to a head when the Benedicts discover that Luz II and the much older Jett have been dating. At a huge party given by Jett in his own honor at Jett's hotel, Jordy's Mexican-American wife, Juana (Elsa Cárdenas), is racially insulted by hotel staff. An irate Jordy tries to start a fight with Jett. Jett's goons hold Jordy, Jett punches him repeatedly, then has Jordy thrown out. Fed up, Bick challenges Jett to a fight. Drunk and almost incoherent, Jett leads the way to a wine storage room. Seeing that Jett is in no state to defend himself, Bick lowers his fists, says "You're not even worth hitting...You're all through," then topples Jett's wine cellar shelves like a row of dominoes. Jett, completely drunk, takes his seat of honor then passes out on the table. All the guests leave. Later, Luz II sees him recovering from his drunken stupor, talking to an empty room, and disclosing that his sexual interest in her was an attempt to vicariously possess her mother.

The next day, the Benedicts are driving down a back road and stop at a diner. The racist owner, Sarge (Mickey Simpson), insults Juana and her and Jordy's son Jordan IV. When the owner goes on to eject an old Mexican man and his family from the diner, Bick tells Sarge to stop; this leads to a fight that Bick loses, but his family members are proud of Bick for standing up to the burly owner.

Later, back at the ranch, Bick and Leslie watch their multiracial group of grandchildren and reflect on their life. Leslie tells Bick that she respects his new understanding of the concerns of people unlike his wealthy forbears, and says she considers their version of the Benedict family a success.

The movie is an epic portrayal of a powerful Texas ranching family challenged by changing times and the coming of big oil. A major subplot concerns the racism of white Texans and the social segregation of Mexican Americans they enforce. In early segments of the film, Bick and Luz treat the Mexicans who work on their ranch condescendingly, which upsets the more socially conscious Leslie. 

Bick eventually comes to realize the moral indefensibility of his racism—in a climactic scene at a roadside diner he loses a fistfight to the racist owner, but earns Leslie's respect for defending the human rights of his brown-skinned daughter-in-law and grandson. 

Another subplot involves Leslie's own striving for women's equal rights as she defies the patriarchal social order, asserting herself and expressing her own opinions when the men talk. She protests being expected to suppress her beliefs in deference to Bick's; this conflict leads to their temporary separation.

Giant won the Academy Award for Best Director and was nominated nine other times, twice for Best Actor in a Leading Role (James Dean and Rock Hudson). The other nominations came in the categories of Best Actress in a Supporting Role (Mercedes McCambridge); Best Art Direction–Set Decoration, Color (Boris Leven, Ralph S. Hurst); Best Costume Design, Color; Best Film Editing; Best Music, Scoring of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture; Best Picture; and Best Writing, Best Screenplay – Adapted.

Wikipedia

The Big Country 

The Big Country is a 1958 American Western film directed by William Wyler. It stars Gregory Peck, who also co-produced the film with Wyler, plus Jean Simmons, Carroll Baker, Charlton Heston, Burl Ives, Charles Bickford, and Chuck Connors. It was based on the serialized magazine novel Ambush at Blanco Canyon by Donald Hamilton. The opening title sequence was created by Saul Bass.

Ives won the Academy Award as Best Supporting Actor as well as the Golden Globe Award. The film was also nominated for an Academy Award for the musical score by Jerome Moross.

Wealthy, newly retired sea captain James McKay (Gregory Peck) travels to the American West to join his fiancée Patricia (Carroll Baker) at the enormous ranch owned by her father, Major Terrill (Charles Bickford). Terrill has been feuding with Rufus Hannassey (Burl Ives), the patriarch of a poorer, less refined ranching clan. Patricia's friend, schoolteacher Julie Maragon (Jean Simmons), owns the "Big Muddy", a large ranch with a vital water supply. She is caught in the middle of the Terrill-Hannassey feud, as she has been allowing Hannassey to use her water for his cattle, while Terrill has been trying to buy her land in order to put Hannassey out of business.

McKay refuses to be provoked into proving his manhood, having sworn off such behavior since his father died in a meaningless duel. He does nothing to stop Hannassey's trouble-making son Buck (Chuck Connors) from harassing him, and he declines a challenge by Terrill's foreman, Steve Leech (Charlton Heston), to ride an unruly horse. Patricia, Terrill, and Leech consider this to be cowardly in view of the region's lawlessness. When Terrill and the men ride to the Hannassey place in retribution for Buck's harassment, McKay stays at the ranch and successfully rides the unruly horse while telling no one except ranch hand Ramon (Alfonso Bedoya).

One morning, after instructing Ramon to tell the others not to worry about him, McKay rides to the Big Muddy, using a map and compass to navigate the terrain, and persuades Julie to sell him her land by promising to continue her policy of allowing both the Terrills and the Hannasseys access to the river. Meanwhile, a search party spends two days looking for McKay, believing he is lost. McKay finds the search party and explains that he was not in danger, but Leech—who is clearly motivated in part by his jealousy of McKay over Patricia—calls him a liar in front of Patricia and Terrill. McKay again refuses to be goaded into a fight, and he and Patricia agree to reconsider their engagement after she becomes upset at his apparent cowardice. Early the next morning, before anybody else is up, McKay settles with Leech. They fight away from the house, without witnesses, to an exhausted draw. After that, Leech begins to respect McKay.

Later, after McKay has moved into town, Julie tells Patricia that he bought the Big Muddy and privately rode the horse, and Patricia visits him. When he tells her he plans to allow water access to the Hannasseys, she becomes enraged and they break the engagement permanently.

Meanwhile, on Terrill's orders, Leech and his men chase Hannassey's cattle away from the Big Muddy. Hannassey, in retaliation, kidnaps Julie and uses her as bait to lure Terrill into an ambush in the narrow canyon leading to Hannassey's home. Buck tries to rape her, but his father stops him.

When McKay finds out about Julie, for whom his own feelings have been becoming increasingly obvious, he rides to the Hannassey place with Ramon. Buck tells Julie he will kill McKay unless she says she is there willingly. McKay shows Hannassey the deed to Big Muddy and promises him equal access to the water. When Hannassey says he intends to fight Terrill anyway, McKay declares to Hannassey that the fight is really a personal vendetta. McKay and Buck fight with each other, but Hannassey stops the conflict when Buck draws his gun on McKay, who is unarmed, and decides they will settle their quarrel with a formal duel.

After walking apart ten paces, both men turn and aim. Buck fires before the signal, grazing McKay's forehead. Hannassey prepares to kill Buck, as required by the rules, but McKay stops him. As McKay slowly and deliberately takes aim, Buck drops to the ground in terror and crawls behind a wheel. McKay fires into the dirt, and Hannassey spits on Buck in disgust. As McKay and Julie start to leave, Buck grabs a gun from a ranch hand in order to kill McKay, but Hannassey shoots his son dead.

Meanwhile, Terrill insists on riding into the canyon. Initially, Leech refuses to accompany him, and the other men follow his lead. However, after Terrill rides out alone, Leech catches up with him. The remaining hands again align themselves with Leech by following. The group soon rides into a trap in the canyon. 

Acknowledging the truth of McKay's accusation, Hannassey orders his men to stop shooting and challenges Terrill to a one-on-one showdown. Hannassey and Terrill kill each other, and McKay, Julie, and Ramon ride out of the canyon together.

Wikipedia

Adam Bellow on Saul Bellow. Talk Magazine 

When My Parents Were In Love. Adam Bellow 

In 1964, when I was seven years old, I spent a few weeks visiting my father, the writer Saul Bellow, at the summer place that he had rented on Martha’s Vineyard with his wife and my infant half brother. Coming out of my bedroom one morning I saw a freshly typed manuscript sitting on the glass and wicker coffee table. I bent to read the one-word title, and scanned the now famous first line. “If I am out of my mind, it’s all right with me, thought Moses Herzog.” I puzzled over the pronunciation of the unfamiliar name. Her-zog? Her-sog? Her-tzog? Whatever it meant, I could tell it was over my head. 

Little did I know what an impact this mere pile of paper would have on the rest of my life. For starters, you wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve been accosted by middle-aged men with bony hawk noses and hair growing out of their ears who thought that they were Moses Herzog. These Jewish doctors, lawyers, tax accountants, dentists with their fingers in my mouth, all wanted eagerly to tell me- or through me my old man – that when they read Herzog they thought he was writing about them. 

Of course he had been doing no such thing. The book was a fictionalized account of his brief, disastrous marriage to my mother: the story of a middle-aged literature professor whose much younger wife betrays him by having an affair with his best friend. Fueled by rage and grief, Herzog withdraws to his decaying country house, where his illuminated mind cranks out brilliant letters on every conceivable subject to everyone he knows, famous or obscure, alive or dead. The book was both profoundly personal and a thundering rant against the collapse of modern culture and the spiritual emptiness of American life. 

To its author’s surprise the book touched a nerve in the national psyche. Although he’d had significant success with The Adventures of Augie March and Henderson the Rain King, Herzog was the ‘breakout’ novel that established him as a serious writer with mass public appeal. Countless dog-eared paperbacks would turn up long afterward at county fairs and on bargain book tables across the country. Even the colour of its jacket would for years be referred to as “Herzog blue” by book designers. 

Ordinarily I might have been happy to collect tributes on my father’s behalf from grateful readers. But accepting praise for Herzog posed a problem because of its harsh portrait of my mother. Conscious that most readers knew nothing of the relationship between my father’s life and his art, I always tried to be a gracious little diplomat. “How king, why thank you, I’ll be sure to let him know.” Inside I was shouting obscenities. 

It may be difficult for someone who hasn’t grown up with a writer in the family to conceive the many ways in which a novel can become part of your life. There is the discipline of writing, to begin with, and the procreative hush that it imposes on the literary household. There is also the reception of the book, which in my father’s case was almost always a major event. But for those who were involved in its creation, a great novel can take on a life of its own. For them it becomes like a flesh and blood person, a character in their lives, a dubious addition to the family. Such is my relationship to Herzog. 

Last summer The New Yorker ran an article, adapted from James Atlas’s forthcoming biography of my father, dealing with my parents’ divorce, easily the most dramatic episode in a turbulent domestic career that now includes five marriages, three sons, and a great many houses. Atlas promised to disclose the truth behind Herzog and to explain the connection in Bellow’s writing between biographical fact and its outcome as fiction. His thesis was that Bellow, a writer who “thrived on adversity,” unconsciously planted the seeds of these disastrous situations in his life and then watched the blossoms unfold, harvesting them for his art. 

Opening the magazine, I skimmed the first few paragraphs. Though impatient to see how things turned out in this “factual” version, I felt an impulse to recoil, as though it were a pulsing lump of kryptonite: a piece of my exploded childhood world, now lethal to me, even in small doses. 

Atlas’s account of the marriage was clinically accurate. He even tried to vindicate my mother, observing that Herzog’s faithful wife, Madeleine, was not the woman he’d encountered in his interviews. The fictional Mrs. Herzog was “imperious, tantrum-prone, and demanding.” There was truth in his portrayal, Atlas wrote, but something equally important was left out: “Sondra also had a vulnerable side that was nowhere evident in Bellow’s portrait of the cruel, majestic Madeleine.” 

This was a welcome bit of rehabilitation. My mother and I had both paid an enduring price for her impulsive youthful choices. Yet while I had fully expected the piece to reopen the old wound of divided loyalty familiar to all children of divorce, my reactions weren’t partisan at all: neither protective of one parent nor grateful on behalf of the other. If anything, my feelings were competitive. 

After all, this was the second published version of events that had determined the course of my life. It made me wonder what it means to have your family’s private tragedy made public every few decades for other people’s edification: First your father writes a novel – not just any novel, but a world-famous, prize-winning novel – in which your mother is portrayed as a raving maniacal bitch while you yourself appear transsexualized as a five year old daughter named Junie. Then along comes a biographer who digs the story up and uses it to illustrate his psychological thesis about your father’s creativity. 

The question Atlas hadn’t answered was why anyone should care more than 30 years later whether or not Herzog was based on real people. Apart from critics and perhaps a few historians, the only ones who did were those connected to the book by intimate threads of creativity and whose lives it had affected. To everybody else it was just a book. But for me Herzog had the status of a personal creation myth. It was practically the keystone of my psyche. 

All this may explain why I found Herzog hard to read, and why for many years I wouldn’t even try. Herzog was the story of what my crazy, malevolent mother had ‘done to’ my father. It was the story he’d been threatening to tell me all my life, when I was ‘old enough’. He seemed to think that once I learned the truth about my mother it would change the way I looked at her forever. Evidently I believed him: Even after I was old enough to read it I continued to give Herzog a wide berth. 

It was not until I was out of college and living on my own in a sunny low-rent walk-up on East 28th Street that I finally tackled the book. At the time I was trying to become a writer myself, and thinking it important to my literary training, I sat down and read all of my father’s books, saving Herzog for last. 

To say that the book impressed me deeply would be a massive understatement. I read it over the courage of a weekend, practically nonstop for 48 hours, much of that time spent floating in the amniotic solace of my bathtub. The virtuoso sentences, the dazzling intellectual fireworks, the hurtling pace and energy of the book were overwhelming . This was writing! My reactions were a mix of admiration, envy, pride, and burning emulation. 

Yet a kind of double vision kept intruding, for the people and events the novel described were not simply the author’s inventions: They were people and events in my own lie. Herzog’s beautiful, headstrong, unfaithful wife Madeleine was a fictional creature, to be sure, but she was also recognizably my mother. Her lover Valentine Gersbach, “Uncle Val,” with his flaming thick copper hair and wooden leg, was modelled on the man whom I had known as Uncle Jack. 

Other characters were also based on people I had known, or whom I recognised: my father’s parents (dead before my birth), his aunts and uncles, school chums, colleagues, girlfriends. All were captured with amazing specificity and drenched with his emotions. 

I certainly saw my real mother in his physical depiction of Madeleine: the straight “Byzantine” nose, the short girlish teeth, the womanly throat “flushed”, like…rose quartz.” The “crazy, clear hauteur” of her imperious blue eyes. The grand style she affected. His description of Madeleine putting on makeup was particularly striking. He perfectly portrayed this female ritual in a passage that describes how the sensual young woman transformed herself into a middle-aged matron for her job at a Catholic university. 

“First she spread a layer of cream on her cheeks, rubbing it into her straight nose.....

Adam Bellow

The Magic Begins. Amera Ziganii Rao 

The magic. The magic has begun. I am allowed to love and have ambition too. I am female. I am the revolution. And so, my incredible man are you. I feel the shift. Life with another human being. Taking my time, because I finally feel safe. You. Me. Us. A life.

Not having to prove myself every two seconds and ramming my enormous mind and its achievements and ambitions down your throat, because it is finally accepted and therefore can be just done and not defended and fortified every day, as a form of identity survival. Like yours. 

I can tell you something else too. I am tired. Really, really, really tired. That means I am entering surrender. I think I am about to feel safe for the first time in half a century. It's good tired. Trust and compliance, in the middle of acute awareness. Mastery. 

Hierophant delivery of the truth. The courage of monarchs. To be a woman therefore is the ultimate warrior. To fight, as nemesis, one's own. The truth of motherhood and partnership. Sharing the secrets as you let me find my own. 

Solo ambition and affiliative love. True, free, responsible, existential, performance driven, hunter driven, love. I think I see it. 

And all in the open air. Under the sun. With you. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

And God Created Woman ll Pt lll (ll). A Self Portrait 

AMERA ZIGANII RAO

A PROFILE  

FEMINIST AND HUMAN RIGHTS, METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHER. WRITER. MENTALIST AND ARTIST 

AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™

The Super Sacred Brother Lover™ 

The Return To The Source. Ascension.

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. When we were giants. All of us. When you did more than rape me. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Neo Feminist™, Post Tribe Social Reformer™ and Sacred Sexualist™. Human Rights Healer. Metaphysical Philosopher, Writer, Spiritual Intelligence Teacher, Hierophant (Interpreter of The Universe) and Mentalist Self Actualiser. 

I can help you grow power, from nothing. 

Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Hierophant™ and Sacred Pimp Warrior Protector, Brother Lover™ Society. The kings and queens of old. Angels and Sorcerers together in each of themselves and in the other. The Wizard life. Forever. Living and loving from The Source. Sourcery, Carlos Castaneda first said. I'll say it again. Sourcerers together. Living a life worth living. At last. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Witches are healers. Witches are the Love Healers and SOURCErers of The Lost World, when we were the giant warriors. We were good and so were were you. 'The World of Men'. The Tribe of Misogyny and Bourgeois™. 

Gives us all a bad name. And poisons all hearts. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

Feminist Lolita Intellectuals™. You lucky man. A place at the table, a place at the Executive Table. That's all. The rest is easy. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2013

THE EVOLUTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS: APPLIED CONSCIOUSNESS™, NEO FEMINISM™, METAPHYSICAL PHILOSOPHY & SACRED SEXUALISM™. POST TRIBE SOCIAL REFORM™. POWER IS THE NEW LOVE. FREEDOM + HOPELESSNESS + SEX. NIHILISM FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE™ THE LOST KNOWLEDGE™ THE WIZARDRY OF BEING™ POLITICAL SPIRITUALITY™ TRUE NEW LOVE. BEYOND THE REVOLUTION™

SOCIAL REFORM. THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND LOVE. SHAMANISM. PHILOSOPHY. TRUE (UNIVERSAL) LOVE. NEO FEMINISM™. ANTI MISOGYNY. THE ARTIST'S WAY. WIZARDRY. TRUE INTELLECTUALISM™. WISDOM. GONZO SPIRITUALITY. NIHILISM. SEX. SOUL. GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE™. SPIRITUAL EXISTENTIALISM™. THE VOID OF CREATION™. ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™. HELL. SUFFERING. GROWTH. ASCENSION. LOVE. LIFE. DEATH. WARLORDS OF LIGHT™ TRUE LOVE & TRUE SEX. THE POST TRIBE SOCIETY™

The Company. 

Writer, Speaker and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. A programme of learning that is specifically about one particular kind of woman. And one particular kind of man. The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the true society that they come from and the one they, in particular, she can and has to return to and that anyone can join her and him in. This is about Paradise on Earth.

This is about The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity that is for all as a result of their healing and in particular, hers. This is about the kind of woman who is at the bottom of the pile in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society™, the norm, the conventional world and the world of the Tribe. This is about the kind of man who is next in line from the bottom. The sensitive man and the female chattel. The High Priestess and High Priest of a profane society, that has long forgotten who they are.

This is about being at the bottom of the pile, for the forgotten and strangled shamans, and for her, the story of escape. Abused by her family, her friends, her men, her whole society, by the very nature of who she is and who they are and what has happened on this Earth. It is about women of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about men of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about the Cinderellas of this world. It is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™. Who she is and how, loving her is the secret to Paradise on Earth and how we have been living a lie for 8000+ years. A lie of male (non High Priest) religion with a male ‘God’ and with Patriarchs and Patriarchal types and Matriarchs and Matriarchal types ruling over us and making our lives hell, all in the name of family, the tribe and the way things are and should remain. Hate, fascism and profanity. A sick society that vilifies, more than anyone else, the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, just because it was told to. A sick society that calls her Eve. A sick society that has forgotten who we all are, let alone the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™. This is about us remembering and knowing who WE are.

This is a programme of healing for the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, to take them and particularly, her, from monstrous levels of low self esteem and lack of self knowledge, back to herself and it is a programme for all those who truly want to love her, and indeed, him. This is a programme for the greatest carers on Earth, who are vilified, destroyed, ridiculed, ignored, abused, used, misused and hated for being everything that those who would steal from us are not. This is a programme to turn Cinderellas into The Sacred Whore High Priestesses and for anyone who wants to love her or live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. And this is a programme to turn sensitive men into Sacred Whore High Priests™ and for anyone who wants to love him and live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and High Priest Society. Love, humanity, Spirit and sex. This is a programme to reverse 8000+ years of witch burning, women hating and healer ridicule. This is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and all those who would love her and live by her values.

This is about the chance for Paradise on Earth. This is a programme for the most beautiful, kind hearted, wounded women and men on this planet. A programme of how to implement a system of how to beat life, how to survive life and how to resurrect from the grief that is a true life. Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, ‘happy’, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. How to turn grief into creation and survive and thrive, despite all the shit, all the pain and all the hurt. How to live in a world of madness, hollowness and cruelty and how to be a winner. How to stand up for oneself and to take back the power that has been stolen from anyone with heart, Spirit and sex. The art and science of Alchemy.

This is a programme, based on my scholarly and non scholarly work over 15 years (so far), if not for my whole life, and my extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of relative bliss, and above all, the right to be. The programme and the courses and my speaking and indeed my forthcoming book, will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. Who the Sacred Whore High Priestess™ is and why she is here. And who the Sacred Whore High Priest™ is. Why we are here. Who we are and what we are and why we are. The beauty and glory of the truth. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the future.

My first book of consciousness, my first book of the spiritual politics of humanity, of authentic power and of self love and strength. A comprehensive series of online courses, live events and audio and visual material. Books, live events, CDs and DVDs. And one on one personal empowerment consultations. The Amera Ziganii Rao Method of Change™. The right to be and the way to have the right to be. And indeed, how to maintain the will to live without love. How to BE unconditional, self sufficient, self caring, self love. The right to be and the will to be and the unparalleled success that comes with that. The Lost Knowledge™. HOW to live. And how to heal others, the profane and the sick and the soulless. The others. My Business and that of any Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and Sacred Whore High Priest™, is Human Rights, The Right to a Sexual Society, Self Actualisation and Freedom.

My Business is To Overthrow Fascism, in the Home and in the Country. My business is also mastering destiny. Overthrowing the ultimate 'fascism'. Our journey on Earth and The Return To The Source. Our healing, our ascension and our redemption. Fate. The daily crucifixions of a true life, the challenges and the fury of being healers and people of love on a planet like Earth.

Submitting to the journey to liberate and evolve oneself, through following one's heart, however much heartbreak and devastation it leads to on the long long long journey to freedom and then the longer journey to happiness. 'Long Road to Freedom', as Nelson Mandela says. My business is always taking risks, never giving up and making the endless sacrifices it takes to become whole. Enlightenment, Nirvana and then Parinirvana and beyond. My business is pain. My business is bliss.

My business is seeing the truly glory of Spirit on Earth. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™ and all that it is. Spirit, humanity, sex and love again at last. And the end of our legacy as either servants or witches or unpaid carers or indeed, ignored mistresses, other women, other men even, and the weirdos that are at the bottom of society. This is our world and it is time to take it back and I can show you how. And that makes my life, truly, worth living. 

I want you to feel the way I do. Alive, with the right to be and the belligerence to exist in this profane and male ‘God’ led world of male supremacy, female supremacy, domestic, casual fascism, tribe rules from hell, with beautiful and kind, love intelligence laden, female and male Cinderella warriors at the bottom, caring for everyone else and getting nothing but hatred, ridicule and isolation for it. The meek are already inheriting the Earth and I can show you how.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They told you I and my kind were dictators and that you were slaves, when all we had done was love you, honour you as companions and above all, we had let you just live. 

We were the holy communers, the ones who gave birth to human beings, the leaders of society, the creators of society, the vehicles of Divinity on Earth and the channels of wisdom. The ones who looked after everything and the ones who built everything and ran everything, because we could. And because we loved it. We are and were the force of creation. And you loved us and you lived. 

But they told you that you ‘deserved’ power too and that we were the ones standing in your way. And you believed them. The oldest ‘divide and rule’ strategy of hate in history and it worked. They used it and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. You had to give up sex, love, magic and your own spiritual gifts and you burnt, destroyed and violated me for 8000 years. 

The world calls that male supremacy. And indeed, family supremacy, Matriarchal supremacy and supremacy of the material world and all who believe in it. Men and women like you. When all that you are are slaves to a reptile force to generate hate energy for them to live and thrive and vampire the human race. The puppets of a hate force, that chose to destroy women and men like me, for hate to grow, so they could live. You bought it and it worked. The greatest fraud in the history of the world. 

I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They taught you that my mind was evil. My mind, my sex, my body and my ways of life. 

The humanity, the glory of sexuality and the glory of creation and creativity and the glory of Divinity in each and every one of us. Our souls. They taught you that human beings are separate from Divinity, that sex was wrong and that women who have minds of their own are uppity slaves. They vilified us but much much worse than that, they destroyed your relationship with all that is unseen, all that we honour and love. 

They taught you to hate what is really God. By teaching you to hate us, you hated all that is good in yourselves. They taught you to hate the light. They taught you to kill us. The daughters of The Universe. The High Priestesses of God. The Spiritual Mothers. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Avatars of The Universe™. The Sacred Army of Love on Earth. 

The Shamans, the Mystics and the Communers. The Hierophants. 

They called me Eve and blamed me for the downfall of the human race and created the awesome profanity that is religion. Of men, by men and from men. Of reptiles, by reptiles and from reptiles. Christianity, Islam and Judaism and every other philosophy around the world was poisoned. There are no female spiritual leaders left. It is all profanity. They chose you to represent them because they wanted to divide us and they did. They told you to hate me. And you believed them. Now I am back and I forgive you. 

I forgive you because I can. Because I came here to save your soul. And because I finally know who I am. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past. I came here to return your soul to The Source. God, The Mother, The Universe. To return you to what is really God. Because I love you. And because She loves you and your kind, whatever you have done. 

Whatever you have done to me and whatever you have done to Her. And most of all, whatever you have done to yourself. We forgive you. This is your redemption. Your freedom and your ascension. We are here to save your soul. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

You bought the Sacred Whore like a piece of meat and you called that a wife. Your trophy wives. Your dancing girls. Your chattel and serving girls. Your piece of beauty. You bought us like you would cattle. Then you called it wives. Now you call it prostitution. The High Priestesses of the real God. You bought us to buy God, The Mother, The Universe and you caged us, separated us from our Divine gifts and skills in the Temple and drove us mad and then lost interest in us, because we had no gifts left, no excitement, no hunter in ourselves and no hope or joy left. Then you just called us mad and discarded us. You called us evil and you call love obedience, even though it had already killed us. You moved into our Temples and you played with the divination tools and thought you communed. The destruction of Atlantis was your gift. 

You stole us from God, The Mother, The Universe and you tried to usurp us. You vilified us, enslaved us and you still envy us today. You call it intuition. You might want to think about this when you hate us out of your jealousy. The mystic gene means physical tortuous pain and taking on the empathy of the human race. All their pains, evils and dark thoughts. We see and feel everything. We make crucial sacrifices to be near Spirit and the unseen and we go without for years. To be shaman is not glamour. I make it glamour. To be shaman is a specific Samurai existence, ascetic and harsh. We commune to be guides. And you take that and you shame yourselves because you just want the meat. You didn’t just want the meat. You wanted our beauty of spirit, our personalities and our love and kindness. And you destroyed them, because you caged us and called us wife. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

The High Priestess Sacred Whores, the High Priests and the true protectors. Those who do not have the gift like either the High Priests or especially like the highest of all, the High Priestess Sacred Whores but who honour, protect and facilitate them to the world. Who honour the Shaman Sacred Whores of this world most of all, and who know who they are and who they are not. Who know the difference, who do not envy and who protect and love the representatives of Spirit, GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE, on Earth. Who honour their wisdom and who honour the latent Shaman in themselves too and who honour the communing ability of the High Priestess Sacred Whores. The non violators. Our only friends. The New Society exists. It is called Enlightenment. It is called Love. It is The Holy Grail.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

The master race. It's all a lie. You are brought up to be a despot king and it is only your sister who ever tells you that you have become a pratt. The master race is all a lie. There are no kings in an equal world. Your father was misinformed. What he brought you up to be was a killer. Pure and simple. A misogynist. A modern misogynist. A polite killer.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

I enter the magical hours of pure feeling, pure thought, pure imagination and I think and I write and I 'mysticise' the Universe. I escape at will, the truth of my humanless, Samurai solitude, and I pursue the truth of love in myself and in everyone else. I am philosopher. I am shaman. I am alone. I frontier the Soul to be spirit on Earth.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Amera Ziganii Rao is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social, cultural and spiritual commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her Sacred Whore High Priestess Society consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is in her forties and lives in London.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life, in this insane existence called The Universe. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Copyright and intellectual property rights are serious issues. And legally protected. Please do not reproduce my work anywhere without due credit and obviously, never for financial gain. 'Big Sister' is watching you! Other than that, please continue to enjoy my original work and the work of (credited) others, for free, while I work on using my material in further professional formats. Thank you for your interest and support.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

Thank you to outside sources for photography and artwork. Darkroomed by Amera Ziganii Rao