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Writings :: Ego. The Healing Pt lV. Demanding To Be Needed. Fascism. Amera Ziganii Rao
The key is in the 'being needed'. One is conditional and one is unconditional. You won't leave them because they make you feel needed. You won't love me because I need you. But ego is not altruistic in any shape whatsoever. Ego in your archetype wants to feel needed for ego. In soul, you would give yourself and anything to me because you loved me. So you are trapped in a situation where the appearance of being needed feeds your ego, which stops you actually feeling needed because you refuse to give to me. Who needs you. For you.
Ego and soul. Your archetype.
Your ego has to be killed by you accepting that love is NOT, needing to be needed. Love is GIVING. Pure and simple. Not out of manipulation that you are needed, or fear, or any despot behaviours. Love is giving. Pure and simple. Love is NOT, needing to be needed. That is control and that is what your ego is. The only place you should be doing that is in the bedroom. The only place where it is FUN, is in the bedroom. The only reason a woman like me even looks at a man like you, is because she WANTS it in the bedroom. But that is soul. The healed ego. Ego is the most UNATTRACTIVE thing on earth. You no longer attract me, while you are in this need to be needed ego of the second archetype.
And while your ego holds you in its grip of course, in its silly family mythical love pseudo illusion, you can't do it in the bedroom at all and you are stuck like a limp cock, demanding to be needed, when it is all an illusion. They don't need you. You have created a situation where they have no choice. That is called CO - DEPENDENCY. Nothing you have with them is love.
It's ego.
Ego in the second archetype, needs to be needed. But ego is not altruistic in any form, whatsoever. Love is not, needing to be needed. Love is giving, pure and simple. The difference between conditional love and unconditional love. The difference between non love and love. Love for the second archetype is not manipulation and coercion so you need to be needed. Love is just giving. The only place where 'coercion' in love should exist, is in the bedroom.
That's why they all left me. Because I couldn't feed their stupid egos and pretend to need. When they couldn't even begin to address my real needs. That is the most disgusting form of non love in the world to me. It makes me want to vomit. Frankly. And that is your ego. Men who come into my glorious writer's room flat and tell me that I am not ready for a relationship. Because I will not play a game of pretend to need a man or anyone. Because I am a human being and need and don't need in normal ways. And because I thought they were masters. Because I thought you were one. A master of your own awful ego and a master therefore, fit for me to love as I want to. Sexually, non sexually. A man I could respect. Not a fascist. Been there, done that. Love is NOT, needing to be needed. Love is giving. Your ego. Virulent madness, as Sidney Lumet's film Network says so beautifully. Max Schumacher is saying it to a soulless woman but I am saying it to you. A soulless man. A man whose ego tells him to stay in co - dependency, out of the illusion that that is love, because he BELIEVES he is needed.
Corrupt countries work the same way. Fascists survive because they have coerced a people into believing they need him. Through coercive, bullying, manipulative, withholding tactics. Your ego in one.
That is not love. That is hate. That is ego. That is sickness. That is not even the myth of family love. That is just sickness and hatred.
And that is why, frankly, I have not only shed the illusion of romantic love, the myth of romantic love, (finally, two and a half years ago, after many years of consciously working on it), I have not only done that a long time ago now, I don't even believe in romantic love anymore at all. If you heal, it will be one of the world's rarest miracles. After all, Jerry Maguire did it. The main character in Pretty Woman did it. Darcy did it in Pride and Prejudice. So it exists, yes. But it's the greatest and rarest miracle on earth. One of you, loving. One of your archetype, male or female actually loving and giving, rather than controlling and withholding and therefore abusing.
The rest is virulent madness bulllshit. All of you. Every single one of you that I have ever had the misfortune to meet.
Virulent madness.
Evil.
And THAT is why I am no longer in love with you. I cannot love a man who does that. I cannot love anyone who does that.
And that is why I have LEFT everyone in my life who has ever been like that. Whether they are family, so called friends or so called potential partners. I am looking for a man I can RESPECT. A man who loves. A man who will control me when I want it and a man who will love me when I don't.
I can see now why it was meant to be that I have been in such a sorry and vulnerable state all year. For a hundred different reasons, least of all, the fact that I have been working so hard to find out what this madness is about. What is so untrue about love. It 'happened' to me, it was my 'lesson', so that I could see that it is your generic ego.
At least five or six so called friends, a cousin, closer family, all the mad bastards who were in my life and just took and took and took, and then at the one time I needed them, they wouldn't give me the time of day. You are all bastards. Frankly. And the most UNATTRACTIVE human beings on earth. And it is all for this one reason. They did not have an opportunity to control. They were just being asked to give. Truly, ugly, MAD, human beings. And I am so glad I have got rid of the whole fucking lot of them. Ego and that particular ego can certainly go to hell, along with them. And along with you.
No, I am not in love with you and I do not actually know if you can heal that. You did it as a child out of fear, sure. Just as I have described in the other ego pieces. But so what. You are 46 years old now. Or maybe you think it's working for you. Ugly fools. Every single one of you. You are all Commodus in Ridley Scott's Gladiator. Pure profane, despotic, fascism, in pretty clothes and good manners. Commodus.
Virulent madness.
You see, the decision my ego made, to romanticise love, was based on seeing and experiencing other peoples' evil and needing to believe in something to stay alive. There is certainly a dehumanisation in need for sure and that is what my ego was. And I dealt with it. Because I have a gift, but because I worked so hard at it, and because I have HUMILITY. The self honesty to know I was doing something wrong.
But your ego (out of the same witnessing and experiencing of other peoples' evil) chose to HATE. It chose to control instead of being controlled. YOUR EGO CHOSE TO CONTROL INSTEAD OF BEING CONTROLLED. It is Terry Malloy before his redemption in On the Waterfront. You are no hero. No sirree. And you never have been. You are of the pig species of human. And this is your chance at redemption. Roland Joffe's The Mission. You. Never me. I was a piece of candy as ego, in comparison to you. That is what your ego is. Don't forget that. And that is why I don't believe and why I am no longer in love with you. Frankly, you may be in ego, you may be ill as a human being therefore, but you disgust me.
As I have said many times before, I wanted a master, not a monster. And every layer of truth that I unconver pushes me farther and farther away. And that is my cleansing and my salvation. If you heal, you heal, if you don't I am free. The truth shall set you free, as they say. For real. I don't care if you my twin soul or not. I am only looking for you to be one kind of man. One kind of human being. A HEALED human being. A REDEEMED human being. A WHOLE human being. In SOUL. I am looking for a man I can RESPECT. A man who loves. A man who will control me when I want it and a man who will love me when I don't.
You can't do either. THAT is ego. That is YOU. My alter ego. Agent Smith in the Matrix. Commodus in Gladiator. Evil. I knew that, I wanted that, but I want it MASTERED. Tamed, mastered and directed. Excite me for fuck's sake. Don't disgust me. Don't be mediocre like all the others. Don't be ordinary. The men, the women I have met and who have bored the fuck out of me in this life with their stupid, transparent, pathetic attempts to control and then their even more mediocre, pathetic and transparent rejection because they can't control. Don't be like them. Don't push me away.
And stop BORING me. Heal. Master that sadist of control, that pseudo adult and GIVE. LOVE. Be you.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
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The Love XlV (Artwork)
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Other Links
Ego. The Healing Pt l. Amera Ziganii Rao
Ego. The Healing Pt ll. An Eye For An Eye. Amera Ziganii Rao
Ego. The Healing Pt lll. The Myth of Family Love. Amera Ziganii Rao
Sadomasochism. The Chains of Love. Nancy Friday
The Power of Boundaries. Christopher Howard
Men (Women) Who Don't Believe in Love. The Unhealed Side of Sadomasochism. Susan Edwards
The Road FROM Perdition for a Man. Amera Ziganii Rao
Female Titan Wisdom. Amera Ziganii Rao
Humility. Amera Ziganii Rao
And God Created Woman. A Self Portrait. Amera Ziganii Rao Photography
AMERA ZIGANII RAO. A PROFILE
AMERA ZIGANII RAO. A PROFILE
AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™
The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™
The Return To The Source. Ascension.
SOCIAL REFORM. THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND LOVE. SHAMANISM. PHILOSOPHY. TRUE (UNIVERSAL) LOVE. NEO FEMINISM™. ANTI MISOGYNY. THE ARTIST'S WAY. WIZARDRY. TRUE INTELLECTUALISM™. WISDOM. GONZO SPIRITUALITY. NIHILISM. SEX. SOUL. GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE™. SPIRITUAL EXISTENTIALISM™. THE VOID OF CREATION™. ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™. HELL. SUFFERING. GROWTH. ASCENSION. LOVE. LIFE. DEATH. WARLORDS OF LIGHT™
Writer. Philosopher. Esoteric Mystic. Clair Cognisant. Seer. Hierophant. Enlightener. Inspirer. Visionary. Artist. Creative; Human Rights. Self Actualization. Liberation. Feminization. Masculinisation. Equalization. Spiritualization. Sexualisation. The Merging of Spirituality and Sexuality (again at last). Self Responsibility. Self Empowerment. Healing. Humanity. Imagination. Intelligence. Compassion. Passion. Revolution. War. Power. The Wisdom Society. The Warrior Society. Success. Strength. Happiness. Love.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Writer, Speaker and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. A programme of learning that is specifically about one particular kind of woman. And one particular kind of man. The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the true society that they come from and the one they, in particular, she can and has to return to and that anyone can join her and him in. This is about Paradise on Earth.
This is about The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity that is for all as a result of their healing and in particular, hers. This is about the kind of woman who is at the bottom of the pile in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society™, the norm, the conventional world and the world of the Tribe. This is about the kind of man who is next in line from the bottom. The sensitive man and the female chattel. The High Priestess and High Priest of a profane society, that has long forgotten who they are.
This is about being at the bottom of the pile, for the forgotten and strangled shamans, and for her, the story of escape. Abused by her family, her friends, her men, her whole society, by the very nature of who she is and who they are and what has happened on this Earth. It is about women of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about men of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about the Cinderellas of this world. It is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™. Who she is and how, loving her is the secret to Paradise on Earth and how we have been living a lie for 8000+ years. A lie of male (non High Priest) religion with a male ‘God’ and with Patriarchs and Patriarchal types and Matriarchs and Matriarchal types ruling over us and making our lives hell, all in the name of family, the tribe and the way things are and should remain. Hate, fascism and profanity. A sick society that vilifies, more than anyone else, the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, just because it was told to. A sick society that calls her Eve. A sick society that has forgotten who we all are, let alone the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™. This is about us remembering and knowing who WE are.
This is a programme of healing for the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, to take them and particularly, her, from monstrous levels of low self esteem and lack of self knowledge, back to herself and it is a programme for all those who truly want to love her, and indeed, him. This is a programme for the greatest carers on Earth, who are vilified, destroyed, ridiculed, ignored, abused, used, misused and hated for being everything that those who would steal from us are not. This is a programme to turn Cinderellas into The Sacred Whore High Priestesses and for anyone who wants to love her or live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. And this is a programme to turn sensitive men into Sacred Whore High Priests™ and for anyone who wants to love him and live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and High Priest Society. Love, humanity, Spirit and sex. This is a programme to reverse 8000+ years of witch burning, women hating and healer ridicule. This is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and all those who would love her and live by her values.
This is about the chance for Paradise on Earth. This is a programme for the most beautiful, kind hearted, wounded women and men on this planet. A programme of how to implement a system of how to beat life, how to survive life and how to resurrect from the grief that is a true life. Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, ‘happy’, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. How to turn grief into creation and survive and thrive, despite all the shit, all the pain and all the hurt. How to live in a world of madness, hollowness and cruelty and how to be a winner. How to stand up for oneself and to take back the power that has been stolen from anyone with heart, Spirit and sex. The art and science of Alchemy.
This is a programme, based on my scholarly and non scholarly work over 15 years (so far), if not for my whole life, and my extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of relative bliss, and above all, the right to be. The programme and the courses and my speaking and indeed my forthcoming book, will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. Who the Sacred Whore High Priestess™ is and why she is here. And who the Sacred Whore High Priest™ is. Why we are here. Who we are and what we are and why we are. The beauty and glory of the truth. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the future.
My first book of consciousness, my first book of the spiritual politics of humanity, of authentic power and of self love and strength. A comprehensive series of online courses, live events and audio and visual material. Books, live events, CDs and DVDs. And one on one personal empowerment consultations. The Amera Ziganii Rao Method of Change™. The right to be and the way to have the right to be. And indeed, how to maintain the will to live without love. How to BE unconditional, self sufficient, self caring, self love. The right to be and the will to be and the unparalleled success that comes with that. The Lost Knowledge™. HOW to live. And how to heal others, the profane and the sick and the soulless. The others. My Business and that of any Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and Sacred Whore High Priest™, is Human Rights, The Right to a Sexual Society, Self Actualisation and Freedom.
My Business is To Overthrow Fascism, in the Home and in the Country. My business is also mastering destiny. Overthrowing the ultimate 'fascism'. Our journey on Earth and The Return To The Source. Our healing, our ascension and our redemption. Fate. The daily crucifixions of a true life, the challenges and the fury of being healers and people of love on a planet like Earth. Submitting to the journey to liberate and evolve oneself, through following one's heart, however much heartbreak and devastation it leads to on the long long long journey to freedom and then the longer journey to happiness. 'Long Road to Freedom', as Nelson Mandela says. My business is always taking risks, never giving up and making the endless sacrifices it takes to become whole. Enlightenment, Nirvana and then Parinirvana and beyond. My business is pain. My business is bliss.
My business is seeing the truly glory of Spirit on Earth. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™ and all that it is. Spirit, humanity, sex and love again at last. And the end of our legacy as either servants or witches or unpaid carers or indeed, ignored mistresses, other women, other men even, and the weirdos that are at the bottom of society. This is our world and it is time to take it back and I can show you how. And that makes my life, truly, worth living. I want you to feel the way I do. Alive, with the right to be and the belligerence to exist in this profane and male ‘God’ led world of male supremacy, female supremacy, domestic, casual fascism, tribe rules from hell, with beautiful and kind, love intelligence laden, female and male Cinderella warriors at the bottom, caring for everyone else and getting nothing but hatred, ridicule and isolation for it. The meek are already inheriting the Earth and I can show you how.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They told you I and my kind were dictators and that you were slaves, when all we had done was love you, honour you as companions and above all, we had let you just live. We were the holy communers, the ones who gave birth to human beings, the leaders of society, the creators of society, the vehicles of Divinity on Earth and the channels of wisdom. The ones who looked after everything and the ones who built everything and ran everything, because we could. And because we loved it. We are and were the force of creation. And you loved us and you lived. But they told you that you ‘deserved’ power too and that we were the ones standing in your way. And you believed them. The oldest ‘divide and rule’ strategy of hate in history and it worked. They used it and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. You had to give up sex, love, magic and your own spiritual gifts and you burnt, destroyed and violated me for 8000 years. The world calls that male supremacy. And indeed, family supremacy, Matriarchal supremacy and supremacy of the material world and all who believe in it. Men and women like you. When all that you are are slaves to a reptile force to generate hate energy for them to live and thrive and vampire the human race. The puppets of a hate force, that chose to destroy women and men like me, for hate to grow, so they could live. You bought it and it worked. The greatest fraud in the history of the world. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They taught you that my mind was evil. My mind, my sex, my body and my ways of life. The humanity, the glory of sexuality and the glory of creation and creativity and the glory of Divinity in each and every one of us. Our souls. They taught you that human beings are separate from Divinity, that sex was wrong and that women who have minds of their own are uppity slaves. They vilified us but much much worse than that, they destroyed your relationship with all that is unseen, all that we honour and love. They taught you to hate what is really God. By teaching you to hate us, you hated all that is good in yourselves. They taught you to hate the light. They taught you to kill us. The daughters of The Universe. The High Priestesses of God. The Spiritual Mothers. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Avatars of The Universe. The Sacred Army of Love on Earth. The Shamans, the Mystics and the Communers. They called me Eve and blamed me for the downfall of the human race and created the awesome profanity that is religion. Of men, by men and from men. Of reptiles, by reptiles and from reptiles. Christianity, Islam and Judaism and every other philosophy around the world was poisoned. There are no female spiritual leaders left. It is all profanity. They chose you to represent them because they wanted to divide us and they did. They told you to hate me. And you believed them. Now I am back and I forgive you. I forgive you because I can. Because I came here to save your soul. And because I finally know who I am. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past. I came here to return your soul to The Source. God, The Mother, The Universe. To return you to what is really God. Because I love you. And because She loves you and your kind, whatever you have done. Whatever you have done to me and whatever you have done to Her. And most of all, whatever you have done to yourself. We forgive you. This is your redemption. Your freedom and your ascension. We are here to save your soul.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
You bought the Sacred Whore like a piece of meat and you called that a wife. Your trophy wives. Your dancing girls. Your chattel and serving girls. Your piece of beauty. You bought us like you would cattle. Then you called it wives. Now you call it prostitution. The High Priestesses of the real God. You bought us to buy God, The Mother, The Universe and you caged us, separated us from our Divine gifts and skills in the Temple and drove us mad and then lost interest in us, because we had no gifts left, no excitement, no hunter in ourselves and no hope or joy left. Then you just called us mad and discarded us. You called us evil and you call love obedience, even though it had already killed us. You moved into our Temples and you played with the divination tools and thought you communed. The destruction of Atlantis was your gift. You stole us from God, The Mother, The Universe and you tried to usurp us. You vilified us, enslaved us and you still envy us today. You call it intuition. You might want to think about this when you hate us out of your jealousy. The mystic gene means physical tortuous pain and taking on the empathy of the human race. All their pains, evils and dark thoughts. We see and feel everything. We make crucial sacrifices to be near Spirit and the unseen and we go without for years. To be shaman is not glamour. I make it glamour. To be shaman is a specific Samurai existence, ascetic and harsh. We commune to be guides. And you take that and you shame yourselves because you just want the meat. You didn’t just want the meat. You wanted our beauty of spirit, our personalities and our love and kindness. And you destroyed them, because you caged us and called us wife.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
The High Priestess Sacred Whores, the High Priests and the true protectors. Those who do not have the gift like either the High Priests or especially like the highest of all, the High Priestess Sacred Whores but who honour, protect and facilitate them to the world. Who honour the Shaman Sacred Whores of this world most of all, and who know who they are and who they are not. Who know the difference, who do not envy and who protect and love the representatives of Spirit, GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE, on Earth. Who honour their wisdom and who honour the latent Shaman in themselves too and who honour the communing ability of the High Priestess Sacred Whores. The non violators. Our only friends. The New Society exists. It is called Enlightenment. It is called Love. It is The Holy Grail.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
The master race. It's all a lie. You are brought up to be a despot king and it is only your sister who ever tells you that you have become a pratt. The master race is all a lie. There are no kings in an equal world. Your father was misinformed. What he brought you up to be was a killer. Pure and simple. A misogynist. A modern misogynist. A polite killer.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
I enter the magical hours of pure feeling, pure thought, pure imagination and I think and I write and I 'mysticise' the Universe. I escape at will, the truth of my humanless, Samurai solitude, and I pursue the truth of love in myself and in everyone else. I am philosopher. I am shaman. I am alone. I frontier the Soul to be spirit on Earth.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Amera Ziganii Rao is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social, cultural and spiritual commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her Sacred Whore High Priestess Society consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is in her forties and lives in London.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life, in this insane existence called The Universe. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Copyright and intellectual property rights are serious issues. And legally protected. Please do not reproduce my work anywhere without due credit and obviously, never for financial gain. 'Big Sister' is watching you! Other than that, please continue to enjoy my original work and the work of (credited) others, for free, while I work on using my material in further professional formats. Thank you for your interest and support.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012
Amera Ziganii Rao © Digital Darkroom Art
Thank you to outside source for originals
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