Shaman (Artwork)
Writings :: Mastering One's Destiny. Self Esteem. Amera Ziganii Rao
Mastering your destiny therefore seems to be mastering one's ego. That is what the whole journey is for. Soul takes care of the rest. And mastering one's ego is doing the time. Giving oneself over to soul and living the ego culling journey, day by day, hour by hour and year by year. Doing the time. And every human being who can stand up and say, 'this is me, this is who I am' and mean it, has done the time.
I do what I want to do, I say what I want to say, I look like what I want to look like and I write what I like.
Soul is audacity. Soul is therefore having more power than one could ever imagine. That is what ego refuses to believe. And what is such an irony as we refuse to transcend into soul. Not least because of lack of education. Ego is tribe. Ego's power is so little and so fearful. And yet so loud and so horrible. Soul's power is so 'arrogant', so 'audacious' and so 'in your face'. And yet so quiet. Soul IS power.
The culmination of the 14 most gruelling, painful and viscerally challenging years of my life. What it was all about. What it was all for. Confidence, self esteem, self worth, owning myself, my own personality and knowing my own beauty and glory. Now I am 46 and ready to live.
Self esteem, self empowerment, becoming visible and having the confidence to be who I truly am.
'I think I am a slow developer', a fellow traveller once said to me. To me, such an apt phrase for what life truly is about.
The Hero's Journey, as Joseph Campbell, the mythologist, defined it as. Becoming soul as so many spiritually powerful writers, psychologists and artists describe it as. The rites of adulthood is how Joseph Campbell described it as, the rites of adulthood that used to take place in ancient societies. The real 'growing up' in other words. The 'growing up' that happens after school, after college or after university. When it has all just begun.
The truth that any expectation about how we should be mature and ready to go at the tender age of 18 or 22 or even 8 in so many societies around the world, where education and wealth are so removed from everyone and the expectation for someone to work and provide for the family is so huge, alll these expectations are either based on economics or indeed tribal expectation about reproduction. Getting a job, getting married, having kids. Or just survival and ask questions later. All the wrong way round.
A child is a child is a young adult is a child until they reach self esteem. And that can happen at 22 or 82. It is all down to the individual and the journey they make in life.
And because none of us are educated with any idea that this is the way for the journey to be truly made, for destiny to be truly mastered, for destiny to be mastered at all and that it is allowed that we are scared, fearful, envying adults until we can make the journey ourselves, the world is full of envy, hatred and confusion. Not surprising. We are here to create ourselves. And that is after school. School is just the beginning. It is our duty then to unlearn every single thing we have learnt, re-examine it and start again.
Otherwise we get this.....Envy is hating the person in front of you, while wanting to steal their soul. That makes all the sense in the world. And it ain't never going to happen! Emotional blackmail is therefore just tapping into a fear none of us need have. Because no one can steal one's soul! It is just the courage to face the truth that hatred truly stands in front of you. Monsters are not one dimensional.
Self creation, existentialism, doing it ourselves, making the hero's journey then becomes the most shocking thing one will ever have to do. Because of the lack of education. Self empowerment is a dirty phrase, healing what we have been taught. Too emotionally sentimental because it says our parents did it wrong. Why do they have to take on the responsibility of being our only teachers anyway? Pride? Guilt? All completely useless options.
The rest is greed and need and wanting it all, because we have been programmed to get it early. And if we don't we are failures and if we are failures, we get angry and if we get angry, we envy. And we hate.
I woke up one day and realised I had finally become present on earth. That I had finally arrived. I was no longer inhibited, shy, envious, wooden, holding back or trying to be invisible. The negative ego was dead, self esteem was mine and I had entered the magical world of mystery and courage, called Soul. I had died and been born again.
I look at 18 year olds who are at university now. The top range of society, seeing as they can afford to be in college and take those years out to be more educated. They look like children. It is unbelievable the pressure we have on us at that age to perform, achieve and get a good job. I speak to the average 22 year old now and they have just begun life and yet are expected to understand it all.
For me, my journey was all about clearing the ego of disappointment first. Of course. I had to lose everything. 14 years ago. Economically, professionally, physically, vanity wise, people wise, everything. And it took me a number of years then to settle into the new journey and understand what I had to do. Ego was still flying about, I was still trying to do so many things I did not have the capability or confidence to do, but was doing them because it was expected, because I expected it. And then finally I settled down.
I got a humble job and saw how it could quietly give me confidence, simplicity and contact with human beings in an understated, constructive way. And it gave me the semblance of performance. I had to show myself, I could not hide. I was a theatre usher for 7 years. The most empowering job of my life, because I managed to do it right. I spent 7 years just being. Not expecting anything of myself and yet pushing myself in each and every shift to perform, to show myself, to be intimate with every single person I came across, to show myself in each and every moment. Just taking it all in. The simple, powerful and effective way.
So freedom is actually LIVING in each moment, the depths of the imagination. So that the inner, creative centre can be shown. That is God on earth. And it takes an incredible amount of courage every second of the day. We blame and shame because we don't know this and because when we do, it is too hard to do. Courage, courage and courage. Courage is the soul. Courage is God. Courage is us.
Being an usher, and clearing my former life, was the most constructive base for what I needed to do. Find myself, grow into myself and master my destiny. Master my thoughts, master my ego and master my fear. And slowly, bit by bit, day by day, I grew. I grew into myself as a woman, as a person, as a writer, as a speaker, as a thinker, as a dancer, as a performer, as an anything I want to be. As a lover, as a girlfriend, as a wife. It all came from this simple base job. Having had to give up all external power and effectively hiding in professional, social terms. But not hiding for the first time in my life.
And now, on the brink of a new life and new way and new existence and new time, I find I am at the place where I do what I want to do, I say what I want to say, I look like what I want to look like and I write what I like.
The Hero's Journey is almost complete. In the most surprising, amazing and understated way anyone could ever think of. I have suddenly arrived. I am suddenly me.
Soul is audacity. Soul is therefore having more power than one could ever imagine. That is what ego refuses to believe. And what is such an irony as we refuse to transcend into soul. Not least because of lack of education. Ego is tribe. Ego's power is so little and so fearful. And yet so loud and so horrible. Soul's power is so 'arrogant', so 'audacious' and so 'in your face'. And yet so quiet. Soul IS power.
The alternative is this...and it completely understandable, when I see now how hard, how understated and how mysterious the healing journey to real adulthood is....Not just a word. Ego is being plugged into the Matrix. Ego is hate. Soul is love. Ego is cruelty, judgment, fear, making assumptions, conditional love, being judge and jury, meanness, stinginess, pride, arrogance, self pity, being offended in every moment, ownership and power. And above all, sentimentality for the forefathers. Soul is true, authentic, fearless, confident, true power. Intelligent, original love.
The rite of adulthood is the most spiritual, mysterious, unfathomable, arduous, 'Jason and the Argonauts' journey on earth, and yet, the most ordinary at the same time. It is the journey to self esteem. Mastering your destiny to me, therefore is the journey to self esteem.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
This from Galactic Eye. Another Consciousness Explorer
It is through the power of your subconscious mind and your higher self that you can learn to align yourself with the Omnipotence, Omniscience and Omnificence of the Universal Mind at all times. Each and every one of us is a manifestation of... this single Universal Consciousness. There is profound truth in the ancient teaching that we are all One. We are all connected - not only to each other but to all of Nature and to everything in the Universe. This is the Law of One. What you do to others, you do to yourself. The way you treat Nature, you in fact treat yourself. The separateness you "see" is an illusion of the ego. The true nature of reality is non-dualistic, meaning that while things may appear distinct, they are not separate. You are able to create your ideal reality because you are already connected to everything you want. Nothing and no one is separate from you. You can experience happiness, true love, perfect health, abundance, wealth and anything else you intend. All you have to do is bring yourself into vibrational harmony with the nature of that which you want to experience through the creative power of your thoughts. To become the master of your destiny, you must master your thoughts. In a nutshell, there is a single Consciousness, the Universal Mind, which pervades the entire Universe. It is all knowing, all powerful, all creative and always present everywhere at the same time. Your consciousness is part of it - it is It. All is One. You are connected to everything and every one. You are already connected what you want. To the degree that you truly comprehend and internalise this Truth, you will be able to become the master of your mind and the director of your life.
Galactic Eye
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