Writings :: The Return of Hekate. Amera Ziganii Rao
Love with a man on Earth does exist, but I see now, that it is the most elusive Utopia that any woman or man could ever imagine. A Utopia that the smallest handful of women in the whole history of the past six or seven thousand years, has ever experienced. Love, truly is a legend.
Until a man can love me truly, I reject all togetherness or companionship with a man, marriage with a man, and anything to do with the patriarchal toilet tribe society of this appalling world of non love and soulless family. I will never ever debate the issue of Hekate, Lilith or Kali - the whole, vocational, tomboy, lad woman - ever again with a man. Take it or leave it, I do not care. That is me done.
I accept the broken heart of pre-true love and run with the wolves on Earth instead. For me, now, a man does not just have to leave behind six plus, thousand years of tribe conditioning, he does not have to just accept and tolerate my wholeness, my vocational self, my high priestess self, my lad self, my hunter self, my wolf self, he has to actively, enthusiastically, viscerally and financially and emotionally support it. Worry about it, help it and work with me on it. Nothing less. I deserve nothing less, because I give nothing less.
And he has to do it, because I am woman and the world owes me. What is dismissed as positive discrimination. That has to take place in any home I share with a man. I am owed six thousand years of patriarchal rape, pillage, violation and humiliation, ostracisation and murder. Yes, the world owes me. Forgiveness is not the issue. I am forgiveness, for even looking at a man ever again. For even giving the re-programmed tribe misogynist male, the time of day. My memories hurt. Every woman's memories hurt. And that is just in this one life, let alone the Jung defined collective unconscious of female on this awful planet.
The issue is not forgiveness or grace. The issue is, what comes next. How does a man make amends for the way he has shit on women his whole life? He loves, enthusiastically, viscerally and supportively. This is not just an issue of tolerance. This is his redemption, this is his atonement and joyous transformation. This is not a favour to me. This is for him as much as it is for me. A woman's spiritual journey of self discovery is into the inner heart. A man's is into the heart at all. The patriarchal reared man has no heart. And that is generic, without cultural borders and certainly across every single religion that exists in the world. Poison that is being exorcised from a man. Supporting a woman is his redemption too.
I see the way men in general, look at me now. The usual generous, albeit conditioned killers, admire me just as they always have. But the fathers, the grandfathers and the uncles. They look at me as if I am a threat to their little girls and boys. They are right.
I am the greatest threat to the patriarchal toilet tribe civilisation (I use that word loosely) since the beginning of time. I am Hekate, Lilith, and Kali. I am the Dark Angel of Truth and I will have my vengeance on this Earth. It is called Justice. The Justice of True Love.
Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011
Hekate Pt ll. A Self Portrait
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