Lady in Waiting l, a photo by AMERAZIGANIIRAO on Flickr.
The New. The Sex and the Soul. Amera Ziganii Rao
And now, I see a new man before me, a new kind of man, a new kind of being. A man who has entered soul with the same force and completion as me. A man who is in touch with his sexuality and not just his loins or indeed mine, as a secret fantasy, to go alongside a hard boiled reality life of emptiness, shallowness and power and money.
A man of soul and sexuality. A man of the same tribe. A man of creativity, and the awesome ability to be as male and female in any and each moment as he wants.
Only a man who is comfortable with sexuality per se, can do that, I now realise. Past the misogyny, past dependency, past need, past greed, past ego. It is all to do with the release of sexuality and therefore the heart and soul. It is all to do with entering the authentic self and gaining the gift of redemptive healing of being.
It is all about the hard work and 'luck', the great good fortune of being able to make it. Of becoming a reformed sadist, reformed misogynist, reformed ego. A man who can take his need and greed and craft it into attractive desire and want. Like me. A man who can love. A man who can create. And a man who can sex a woman without needing to kill her, suffocate her or consume her to the exclusivity of anything else. A man who can love a Lolita without owning her. A man who likes to possess a woman, not kill her. A man who is able to possess without killing. A healed man. A man of soul. A man of ego and soul combined. Like me.
And ultimately, this is a man who can have sex. When I look at the writings of Nancy Qualls Corbett and Diana Hartmann on the Sacred Prostitute, and the psychology of the man who needs to return to the goddess, to the sacred whore, I see Lemuria in sight at last. The return to Eden.
I see it all in this man who is not you. A man who has regained his passion and joy and curiosity and childlike love of life and sexuality and sex. Passion. A man who can love is a man who can return to his passion.
The empty, passionless, sexless, liminal, non creative cynicism of the hard boiled life is over. For me and it seems, for a man at last too.
Broken hearts healed are broken hearts returned to wholeness. The drive that all of us have to make in life to become happy. Earth life is set up to destroy us, destroy our hearts and loins and push soul out to some hidden place and leave us in hell.
And as I see his beauty and power and strength of soul, work so easily, alongside his raw masculinity and virility of human animal, his need and his yearning for me, I quiver with peace and excitement and know I am almost home.
Having it all on the surface is one thing. Money, the suits, the macho, the height even, the language, the managerial jobs, the international lifestyle. Glamorous indeed, but it would never have been enough. I wanted to know what was inside and as it turns out, there was hard boiled nothingness. No sex is the reason for misogyny. No sex is the reason for control. No sex is the reason for dependency and need and greed of male ownership. No sex is the reason for every single wound on this planet and no sex means life without the goddess. The return to the female is the return to the passion. The downside for men like you is that you have to be kind. And for some it is just too much to ask and I accept that. Ego always chooses power over love. And you made your choice a long time ago. Be at peace with that. You chose power over love. You chose power over SEX. Misogyny is therefore choosing power over sex. Be at peace with that. I am and I'm gone.
The Patriarchal Toilet Tribe of male homicide and female genocide is almost out of my life. And I am glad. It seduced me for a while, I will readily admit that. 8000 years long to be precise. The Return is finally, well on its way.
And I enter my grateful, wondrous and amazed, preparation for the Master I have always wanted. Never the monster. The spiritual master is the sexual master is this incredible man I see before me. A man of sex and passion who can be my true friend as well. Mastery. What it was all for. The Return to Eden.
Amera Ziganii Rao ©
The New. The Sex and The Soul. Amera Ziganii Rao
The Psychology. The Sacred Prostitute. Nancy Qualls - Corbett
I get it old man. You just couldn't make it back to the Sacred Whore, as the psychology piece explains so well. Maybe you will one day when I am long gone. And maybe not. So I let you go. With love and sympathy. I am not Grace Kelly, RIP. I came to this life to live and love. And not just be a man's silent companion. And to retire from life. I embrace the new. Right now, right here. Neglect aside, abuse aside, being a companion to an old man is just not my idea of true love. The new awaits. For my second life. My first life is over and even if I am the same age as you, I am not you. I am reborn in time for the new. And for that, I can only be truly grateful. And run.
Amera Ziganii Rao ©
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