No Name (Artwork).
Temujin Rao Digital Darkroom Art From Original
Men as Friends of (Distant) Love and Desire. True Love.
Temujin Rao
To live a true life is to live alone and to always be alone, with transient distant love desire as the only companion. That's fine. As long as the man is not a misogynistic idiot, and can actually be some kind of friend to a woman, why not. The distant love desire is soul and profound and ever lasting, but it is nonetheless transient and completely irrelevant to one's life. Freedom is lonely and that is why, while everyone wants it, no one bids for it. For me though, it's worth it. So soul love desire it is. The true life.
And the truth of the matter is that, from what I have taken in so far, in matriarchal, goddess, sacred whore times, before the Patriarchal Womb Stealing Toilet Tribe made us all mad, men included, men WERE just (tangible) desire friends. Sort of an explanation of so called female dependency on men and relationships? I'll say. Women ran society, did their work, their esoteric work, their creative work, their healing work, their maternal work with the babies they gave birth to on their own, and together with other women..they did their teaching work for the children of the community, they did their philosophy and sage work and they communed with Spirit. They did their hunting work, and their growing food work. They did everything and they enjoyed everything. As sages and rulers and mothers and hunters. And then they played with lovely men every so often. Single or plural. They enjoyed their own sexuality and they enjoyed sexuality with men. That was all there was. And guess what! Exactly. The Return to Eden indeed.
So called female dependency on men therefore could just be the idea that a relationship with a man is possible at all. TRANSIENT LOVE DESIRE is what the relationship between a man and a woman is at its best. Distant love desire is not the same thing at all, but still....Everything else, the co-dependency of need and teddy bear love, right through to the ultra evil of the Patriarchal Womb Stealing Toilet Tribe Society misogyny of genitally mutilating a woman and keeping her locked up at home without vocation, without a job even and without sex from what I can understand, all of this is reversible. But really hard to do, for a woman.
We live in an economically male dominated world, with male ideas of how work should be done. And we have to then do without any so called comforts (aside from the abuse of power of course, where a male provider fucks you up anyway as a woman because you have to rely on him due to children or illness or just because he asks you to) and we then have to get over the little matter of 8000 + years of unconscious conditioning that relationship is even possible and the norm and then there is the even smaller matter of female incapability and believing subconsciously that being powerful as a woman is unfeminine. And then there is getting over the resentment that one has to do it completely alone, because one's parents believe in the old way and if you are not a wife, you should be a daughter and open to the same stupid, fucking abuse of being female in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe!
But hey, if we can get over these huge obstacles of existence, freedom can be ours and that it seems is where I finally am. Recognising that freedom takes a great deal of hard work and huge fear all the time, and indeed relative poverty and insecurity because you have to do it all alone from scratch, and endless loneliness and aloneness and brief, transient soul distant desire with men. Men who look but will not touch. No matter what you do and no matter who they are. Transient love desire is all I get. It's all they seem capable of and I finally accept.
And friendships of a universal kind so there is no co-dependency or family replacements. In other words, being with people who really care and not just lonely so they will be with anyone, even if they don't particularly like them. And that takes independent, universal friendship. And that is all we get.
If we want to be true and free, that is all we get. Distant transient love desire, universal friendship and a massive amount of hard work on one's own. After reversing lifetimes of female dependency and dependency on relationship and marriage and female incapability and believing subconsciously that the roles in the domestic arena are all that we want or should do. Oh, and also flying in the face of 99.9 percent of society and being regarded as a freak.
Got it. Done. Committed to. The Return to Eden. The Return to Lemuria. Quality over quantity. Transient soul desire it is. Even if it is distant. Maybe one day it becomes tangible and nearby. Forget relationship, forget life with another human being, and forget children, unless one does it on one's own. And therefore, at last, forget resentment. And enjoy.
Yes, this may be the journey to the Sacred Whore, but maybe not and it always takes so long. My mistake has always been in thinking that relationship can happen in any short space of time at all. Or indeed, at all. Forced into the true life by fate, I can see that this is not the true way at all. Relationship has to start as friendship, distant transient soul love desire and then endless months of isolation and aloneness. What is called 'just friends'. I finally embrace the truth of that. And stop caring so much for something that takes years and years and years. I've called it being a warrior for love, I've questioned every single thing about the why, but now I see that is the norm, and this is how it should be. All the pain and all the impatience and all the resentment comes from some stupid idea from the Patriarchal Womb Stealing Tribe Society, about relationships and marriage. Of course, it turns out that a woman has to have her genitals symbolically cut off to become a wife. Fuck that. Give me my truth. Transient soul desire it is. Otherwise called 'courtship friendship' or 'just friends' or 'lovers'. And that means being alone. Fuck it. Let's do it.
Yes, I do still believe in love, but after a lifetime of trying to understand how to experience it as anything more than a transient experience, I give up. I accept all I receive and release all desire or interest in wanting anything more. If it ever comes, it will come of its own accord. Knowing that a man of incredible soul depth and beauty loves me, is just not enough for me anymore. I need to see it and I need to see him. It's never happened. I have cleared so many levels of dependency and rage and need and greed and am complete and whole. And still no difference. They tell me it is my destiny to experience a great love. Still waiting for it to last longer than five minutes. I am not waiting anymore.
Temujin Rao ©
Other Links
Men as Vibrators with Soul. Temujin Rao
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/men-as-vibrators-with-soul-amera.html
A Busy Brain and An Impressive Cleavage. Temujin Rao
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/busy-brain-and-impressive-cleavage.html
Female Achievement. Temujin Rao
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/female-achievement-amera-ziganii-rao.html
Marilyn Monroe. Cleopatra. Temujin Rao
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/04/marilyn-monroe-amera-ziganii-rao.html
Sexual Healing. Temujin Rao
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/sexual-healing-amera-ziganii-rao.html
The Sacred Prostitute. Diana Rose Hartmann
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/sacred-prostitute-diana-rose-hartmann.html
The Psychology. The Sacred Prostitute. Nancy Qualls - Corbett (the psychology on men)
http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/psychology-sacred-prostitute-second.html