The Courage to Love. Christopher Howard

The Love lV (Artwork)

The Courage to Love. Christopher Howard

"When love beckons you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep." - Kahlil Gibran

I have throughout my... view more life held back in ways of the heart. I had built walls around my heart that prevented anyone from coming in because I didn't want to be hurt. I conditioned myself to even becoming convinced that I didn't care about affairs of the heart, and to avoid dealing with the repressed feelings of fear and loneliness I threw my self into achievement. I threw myself into earning black belts in martial arts and writing best-selling books, and building companies and making millions. The relationships I had along the way were very one-sided. I lived my life for me, and not for others on the outside but deep down at a place that I didn't even know I existed I lived my life attempting to prove that I was good enough to be loved and to win the approval of others through my achievement. This drove me without any conscious awareness. I was cold and calloused to love on the outside but craved it more than anything else on the inside.

Many people go through their lives in this way. The core wound shared by multitudes is the core wound of not feeling "good enough to be loved."

Different people compensate in different ways. And the ways that we compensate externally are often to develop strong suits or strengths in life. Mine was to achieve. Some people develop a strength of being "intelligent," or "being a hard worker who brings value to the table therefore love is 'deserved," others look to control their environments or their relationships in order to "guarantee that they are in charge and cannot be hurt," still others look to dominant the opposite sex to be in control..... anything to avoid being hurt.

The challenge with all of these paths is that they are driven by fear or even terror and they distract and prevent us from ever dealing with the real issue, and because love is not found in achievement, or control or domination or admiration underneath everything we are still just terrified and lonely. No matter how much we achieve or how many material goods we accumulate or how much prestige or power we have, or sexual conquests are under our belt deep down we never feel whole, deeply fulfilled, happy, good enough or loved. Just look at Elvis Presley, or Marilyn Monroe, or Howard Hughes or Tiger Woods to name a few.

This lack of what we really yearn for, whether we acknowledge it or not, more than anything in the world causes not only underlying heartache but erratic behavior and oftentimes destruction through drugs or alcohol or promiscuity and the undesired results, or emotional outbursts and destroyed relationships. So beyond the lack of fulfillment the tangible results that we produce can be devastating. And the most destructive part is we convince ourselves that the ways we live our lives are actually fulfilling. Carl Jung said that we must by necessity project that which is unresolved at the unconscious level out onto the external world so that we might gain resolution of it.

The problem is that for most people instead of looking at what is happening in the world as being a result of their internal projections, they try to change and manipulate the external world to solve the problems they experience and therefore never resolve the issues that are occurring as a result of their very very deeply repressed unresolved negative emotions.

The journey is an internal journey, this is why our external relationships are always a reflection of our internal relationship with ourselves.

The journey of healing involves recognizing the real cause of our problems, our heartaches, our terror, our sadness, our loneliness and the underlying lack of fulfillment in life. Then having the willingness to go to the place that we've feared the most - moving out of our head and into our heart. Being present, allowing ourselves to love, allowing ourselves to risk being hurt. And realizing when we do get hurt that that too is a part of the process of loving.

Love is not all joy and roses. Love sometimes comes wrapped in harsh wrappings. An argument can give us the chance to learn to love unconditionally. A challenge in a relationship can cause frustration or sadness and also the opportunity to learn to heal. Sometimes a partner or loved one can be far away which can cause us to feel loneliness and experience an even greater opportunity to recognize the value that person holds in our heart upon their return and all of this is part of love. Love can sting, love can hurt....but when we allow ourselves to go to that place and risk all of these feelings, and learn to even ride through these feelings we learn how to really live. How to really be whole. How to really know what fulfillment is.

By not allowing ourselves to feel hurt we also rob ourselves of ever feeling REALLY fulfilled, happy and loved.

It is only through finding the courage to face our deepest fears that we find the ultimate reward in life. The reward of no longer having anything to prove. The reward of being present. The reward of being whole. The reward of knowing God. The reward of true happiness and fulfillment. The ability to stop running. Stop sprinting through life. Stop drowning out your sadness in alcohol or drugs or overeating or meaningless and empty promiscuous relationships. The reward of finding this kind of courage is to finally claim your life as your own.

So in finding the courage to love - first yourself - and then others - you are set free.

After spending 27 years imprisoned on Robbin Island Nelson Mandela said that whether you are a prisoner or a free man it's all just a state of mind. So it all begins inside.

It's time to find the courage to be free!

With Love and Respect, 

CHRISTOPHER HOWARD

The Heart of The Mind. Christopher Howard


"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery... view more

Several months back, the mother of my daughter Eva approached me and said, "Chris I had a dream last night and in it I received a message that I knew I was supposed to tell you." "What was it?" I asked her. "I was supposed to tell you that you are supposed to get out of your head and get into your heart," she replied.

Interestingly enough that message had been bombarding me left right and center and from multiple sources. Interestingly enough, what she was telling me was not news to me, but rather, exactly what I already knew was where it was time for me to go.

Yes I knew that I had to get out of my head and into my heart, which also scared me to the marrow because it seemed like such a weak place to be setting an intention to head. I had PRIDED myself thoughout my life on who I had become. And now I was saying I actually WANTED to become the polar opposite of who I was...I wanted to become.... a touchy-feely person. To me that was the epitome of sloth and laziness - lack of productivity and lack of effectiveness; in short all of the things I despised most. I prided myself in my ability to achieve and create and get things done.

I had spent my entire life in my head - having built fortified brick walls around my heart. Quite simply I made a decision when I was very young that I wasn't going to feel, so that I wouldn't ever get hurt. And I then compensated by achieving in the material world. Doing, doing doing but never being.

This had not just a ripple effect but a tidal wave effect throughout my life that I never associated to the original decision. I stayed dissociated and unconnected in my relationships, which made intimacy impossible and destroyed most of them. If sex in relationships was good it was by occasional sheer luck, because I wasn't present there either.

I lived in my head over-analyzing situations and bouncing around in the world of self-talk creating stress for my self; I was really dissociated from life itself. I was never present, always someplace else in my mind. Either rehashing the past or worrying about the future. I had trouble trusting my own intuition because instead of processing negative emotions and allowing myself to FEEL them, I had repressed them so much that they totally mucked up my own internal guidance system.

And I had a deep seated sense of loneliness and sadness that was ALWAYS present underneath everything else, no matter how much I succeeded in the material world or how many "breakthroughs" I had from a personal and proffessional development standpoint. That sadness and that loneliness would resurface from time to time and I would wonder why I was feeling that way.

Because I was repressing the sadness and the loneliness, and more than anything sheer terror that I would be left or unloved or that I wasn't good enough to be loved, it would express itself outwardly in controlling behavior of both my environments as well as the people I loved. If I didn't have things my way I wouldn't outwardly express it as sadness or loneliness but rather angry outbursts.

I had become so dissociated and the emotions were so repressed that had you asked me if I had negative emotions I would have said "No. That's a terrible problem for the people that are dealing with them." I would then look to distract myself from the constant deeply rooted "unease" that I felt underneath it all. I would distract myself by succeeding massively in life and the material world, by being admired, by giving back, I'd distract myself with women, with traveling, with martial arts and succeeding there, with going out and abusing my body and partying, by indulging in too much food or feel-good foods.

So it was time to get out of my head and into my heart. 36 years after I made the decision to put brick walls around my heart. Yeah I'd say that's enough time.

So I made some huge decisions to do some things differently. The whirlwind of changes that occurred after that are stories for another time and another place. But what I can say is this, as a result of the changes I made, including actually picking up and moving to Bali on the other side of the globe, I found myself on a journey that would bring things together for me from a personal standpoint unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. I can say that the life I am living now is truly a blessing. I used to feel blessed because I was living the life of my dreams. And that I have always done. But now my dreams have expanded to actually include ME. And that is magical. It's magical to actually feel, to actually be present. To actually be able to slow down and enjoy. To have the ability to connect with another human being or other people. To be able to get out of my head and into my heart.

It's still a journey. It's not like there isn't still much discovery to do. But it's the journey that's the magical part. The strange part about it all is that it is in recognizing the fear, and the hurt and the loneliness and the sadness where TRUE STRENGTH lies. And even though I'm embracing my fears at the same time I can say that I actually feel more FEAR-LESS than ever.

Being in a heart space makes it far easier to make decisions. Nothing to think about, just listen. Being in a heart space makes it far easier to create, no worrying or stress - for me at least. Being in a heart space makes it far easier to detach from any particular outcome in business and negotiations, because whatever the path it will be O.K.

Both ways the pendulum has swung have been necessary for me in my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. As the pendulum settles back in the middle I feel blessed to have experienced both parts of the journey as well as all those that await me.

Think about this........How do YOU relate to my experiences or the things I have shared?

CHRISTOPHER HOWARD


Feeling Good. Christopher Howard


"Birds flying high you know how I feel. Sun in the sky you know how I feel. Breeze just drifting on by, you know how I feel. It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me. For me." - Feeling Good

I feel best when I'm free. Free from attachments, freel from struggle, free from strife.

When I'm free I can appreciate all the things around me that I would usually just take for granted.

Most of us are simply running so fast through life that we don't ever take the time to "stop and smell the roses," as they say.

I feel incredible when I am able to set aside my fears of initmacy and slow down and connect with a partner, a child or a group of friends.

Intimacy, connection, slowing down, appreciation, feeling great.

The above-mentioned 5 states lead to: trust in relationships, deep bonds in relationships, rapport mastery, an attitude of gratitude. In other words they lead to happiness and peace of mind - for me.

I also feel great when I'm appreciating even my negative states of mind and emotion, and contextualizing them by realizing that they too are a part of life.

Where and when do you feel great?

Love Deeply and Shine Brightly,

CHRISTOPHER HOWARD 

The Love (Artwork)

Thank you to Christopher Howard for these excerpts.

Thank you to outside source for photographs. Darkroomed by Amera Ziganii Rao

The Ultimate Wisdom of Renunciation. (Notes on Enlightenment). Siddharta. Amera Ziganii Rao

No Name Xl (Artwork)

The Ultimate Wisdom of Renunciation. (Notes on Enlightenment). Siddharta. Amera Ziganii Rao

And then the ultimate stage comes. For me, the archetype of revolution and Shiva, become Kali and Aquarius, for example, just to use a few labels, comes the forced non attachment of the nothing, of surrender and of giving it all up and letting it all go. Asked to go into service, an important long while ago, to rouse the Kali, twisted into pseudo Shiva, archetype of the other, my pain has then to be, to give it all up again, to balance up the chakras of the Universe, to balance up the chakras in me, to prove myself as whole and also, to manifest the revolutionary and self rouser in him and everyone else who needs it for their balancing.

It is not enough to say, to become unconditional love is the whole. We have to know which one applies to us. For some it is to face oneself at last and to rouse oneself into change and for others, it is to let everything go and ask for nothing. And to just keep giving. And to 'rouse' onself into nothing but surrender and renunciation. And focus on anything else other than one's dream and goal that has been worked on with such dedication, devotion and focus. Suddenly, there has to be nothing, so that finally, there is something for the other. So that movement can be shifted from the rouser to the entropied human being. The shift of balance. The whole. For the rouser and revolutionary as has been, there is suddenly the demand for nothing. The letting go. No relationship, no family, no worldly goods, nothing. To regard it all as greed, ambition and demanding too much.

For the other, it is as painful. Reversing the entropy of non action. The denial of the darkness. The denial of his or her darkness. Facing oneself for the first time. Facing one's whole self and facing oneself at all. Finding one's heart again, one's feelings other than the bland kind and finding one's humanity again. And then paradoxically standing up for oneself, asking for everything and taking what is yours. Twin souls or individual people, we all have one or the other thing to balance up in ourselves and that is apparently the wisdom demand of the Universe, with the full backing of Divinity and its force, to help us.

The agony of letting go or the terror of rousing oneself. It can only be one or the other and there is no other way. The method of self creation and becoming the whole. Unconditional love.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

Kali and Shiva. The Transformation. The Whole.
Amera Ziganii Rao

Our mission is simple. To become unconditional love. The transformation of Kali, the goddess of death and resurrection (after becoming Kali from the gentle archetype of Shiva, the goddess of love, who had to learn how to fight for herself) into Kali, the goddess of compassion again, and the transformation of a sort of Shiva, the god of pseudo compassion and polite manners, and self denial, into Shiva, the god of death and resurrection. And heart. And heart, above all other things. Of feeling. By becoming these things, we fully regain pure intention. And manifest redemption. And complete the seven spiritual stages of love even before our first date. Such is our privilege of destiny.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

Rage and entropy being the non loves of Kali and Shiva, respectively. And all non love being fear and pain and greed. And indeed, denial in the case of the pseudo Shiva archetype.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

I learnt finally that ambition for my dreams is greed and that compassion and the nothing is my purpose. And in that, I am finally to be free. The mysteries of life are over and the joy and peace of quiet love is all that remains. Unconditional love, unconditional life and unconditional existence.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

I always wondered if I was of a more loving archetype and I think I can safely say, when I look at all of you, that I am. And that is stunning in itself. I know what that means. Why you are the sexual aggressor (in theory of course) but why you are such... view more a horrible control freak, dictator misogynist man in your darkest depths. The unskilled pseudo master for sure, but to know that this is the extent of the darkness behind it, has been a shock to me. That's not wolf. That is vampire. Dead vampire energy. In you. That is your ego. Neediness is ego is the vampirical darkness of hatred and ruthlessness. With you, it has this apathetic, weak surface, but that is an awfully misleading surface to terrible depths of pain and hate. You. 

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

The Meaning of Life l. Amera Ziganii Rao

I become agitated. Then I rage, I get terrified, I move into the frozen heart, I am mean, I am hopeless and I am in despair. I bludgeon, beat myself up, plan my escape or just get hysterical. And I always forget compassion.

And then I remember. That I am a human being and am therefore always learning how to love. I will never know how to love. I will only keep learning.

And each abyss and revelation I go through takes me closer to that place of super learning.

This is our journey. Back to the Heart. Back to the Source. Back to God.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

 

The Meaning of Life ll. Amera Ziganii Rao

I become calm. Then I point out to myself that I am being irresponsible, that I am being selfish, that my whole dream is ridiculous and that I can't trust anyone anyway. I think again, that love is a silly dream. I become calm, don't feel and then realise that nothing is worth anything anyway, so I might as well hold onto what I have. What's the point in anything anyway? It's all a fantasy. None of it is real. Why bother in the first place? So I become calm, bland, old, unfeeling, un-passionate, cerebral, self righteous in my ‘reason’ led sensible nature, limp and frankly, dead.

And then I remember. That I am a human being and am therefore always learning how to love. I will never know how to love. I will only keep learning.

And each bland moment of pseudo revelation I go through takes me closer to hell and I realise then, that I need to get to that place of super learning instead. And then I feel. Then I remember. Then I finally am again. A body with emotions and feelings and hopes and dreams. The vibrant human being I love being, until I get afraid. And forget it all again.

This is our journey. Back to the Heart. Back to the Source. Back to God.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

Siddharta by Hermann Hesse

(Notes on Enlightenment and Acceptance of Pain. Enlightenment being the Acceptance that Divinity is the Whole)

Notes on the introduction to Hermann Hesse's Siddharta by Paulo Coelho

"Siddhartha" by Hermann Hesse, is perhaps the most important and compelling moral allegory our troubled century has produced. Integrating Eastern and Western spiritual traditions with psychoanalysis and philosophy, this strangely simple tale, written with a deep and moving empathy for humanity, has touched the lives of millions since its original publication in 1922. Set in India, "Siddhartha" is the story of a young Brahmin's search for ultimate reality after meeting with the Buddha. His quest takes him from a life of decadence to asceticism, from the illusory joys of sensual love with a beautiful courtesan, and of wealth and fame, to the painful struggles with his son and the ultimate wisdom of renunciation.

The Last Chapter of Siddharta by Hermann Hesse.
Courtesy of Online-literature.com

Together with other monks, Govinda used to spend the time of rest
between pilgrimages in the pleasure-grove, which the courtesan Kamala

had given to the followers of Gotama for a gift. He heard talk of an

old ferryman, who lived one day's journey away by the river, and
who was regarded as a wise man by many. When Govinda went back on his
way, he chose the path to the ferry, eager to see the ferryman.
Because, though he had lived his entire life by the rules, though he was
also looked upon with veneration by the younger monks on account of his
age and his modesty, the restlessness and the searching still had not
perished from his heart.

He came to the river and asked the old man to ferry him over, and when
they got off the boat on the other side, he said to the old man:
"You're very good to us monks and pilgrims, you have already ferried
many of us across the river. Aren't you too, ferryman, a searcher for
the right path?"

Quoth Siddhartha, smiling from his old eyes: "Do you call yourself a
searcher, oh venerable one, though you are already of an old in years
and are wearing the robe of Gotama's monks?"

"It's true, I'm old," spoke Govinda, "but I haven't stopped searching.
Never I'll stop searching, this seems to be my destiny. You too, so it
seems to me, have been searching. Would you like to tell me something,
oh honourable one?"

Quoth Siddhartha: "What should I possibly have to tell you, oh
venerable one? Perhaps that you're searching far too much? That in all
that searching, you don't find the time for finding?"

"How come?" asked Govinda.

"When someone is searching," said Siddhartha, "then it might easily
happen that the only thing his eyes still see is that what he searches
for, that he is unable to find anything, to let anything enter his mind,
because he always thinks of nothing but the object of his search,
because he has a goal, because he is obsessed by the goal. Searching
means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having
no goal. You, oh venerable one, are perhaps indeed a searcher, because,
striving for your goal, there are many things you don't see, which are
directly in front of your eyes."

"I don't quite understand yet," asked Govinda, "what do you mean by
this?"

Quoth Siddhartha: "A long time ago, oh venerable one, many years ago,
you've once before been at this river and have found a sleeping man by
the river, and have sat down with him to guard his sleep. But, oh
Govinda, you did not recognise the sleeping man."

Astonished, as if he had been the object of a magic spell, the monk
looked into the ferryman's eyes.

"Are you Siddhartha?" he asked with a timid voice. "I wouldn't have
recognised you this time as well! From my heart, I'm greeting you,
Siddhartha; from my heart, I'm happy to see you once again! You've
changed a lot, my friend.--And so you've now become a ferryman?"

In a friendly manner, Siddhartha laughed. "A ferryman, yes. Many
people, Govinda, have to change a lot, have to wear many a robe, I am
one of those, my dear. Be welcome,

Govinda, and spend the night in my
hut."

Govinda stayed the night in the hut and slept on the bed which used to
be Vasudeva's bed. Many questions he posed to the friend of his youth,
many things Siddhartha had to tell him from his life.

When in the next morning the time had come to start the day's journey,
Govinda said, not without hesitation, these words: "Before I'll
continue on my path, Siddhartha, permit me to ask one more question.
Do you have a teaching? Do you have a faith, or a knowledge, you
follow, which helps you to live and to do right?"

Quoth Siddhartha: "You know, my dear, that I already as a young man, in
those days when we lived with the penitents in the forest, started to
distrust teachers and teachings and to turn my back to them. I have
stuck with this. Nevertheless, I have had many teachers since then. A
beautiful courtesan has been my teacher for a long time, and a rich
merchant was my teacher, and some gamblers with dice. Once, even a
follower of Buddha, travelling on foot, has been my teacher; he sat with
me when I hat fallen asleep in the forest, on the pilgrimage. I've also
learned from him, I'm also grateful to him, very grateful. But most of
all, I have learned here from this river and from my predecessor, the
ferryman Vasudeva. He was a very simple person, Vasudeva, he was no
thinker, but he knew what is necessary just as well as Gotama, he was a
perfect man, a saint."

Govinda said: "Still, oh Siddhartha, you love a bit to mock people, as
it seems to me. I believe in you and know that you haven't followed a
teacher. But haven't you found something by yourself, though you've
found no teachings, you still found certain thoughts, certain insights,
which are your own and which help you to live? If you would like to
tell me some of these, you would delight my heart."

Quoth Siddhartha: "I've had thoughts, yes, and insight, again and
again. Sometimes, for an hour or for an entire day, I have felt
knowledge in me, as one would feel life in one's heart. There have
been many thoughts, but it would be hard for me to convey them to you.
Look, my dear Govinda, this is one of my thoughts, which I have found:
wisdom cannot be passed on. Wisdom which a wise man tries to pass on
to someone always sounds like foolishness."

"Are you kidding?" asked Govinda.

"I'm not kidding. I'm telling you what I've found. Knowledge can be
conveyed, but not wisdom. It can be found, it can be lived, it is
possible to be carried by it, miracles can be performed with it, but it
cannot be expressed in words and taught. This was what I, even as a
young man, sometimes suspected, what has driven me away from the
teachers. I have found a thought, Govinda, which you'll again regard as
a joke or foolishness, but which is my best thought. It says: The
opposite of every truth is just as true! That's like this: any truth
can only be expressed and put into words when it is one-sided.
Everything is one-sided which can be thought with thoughts and said with
words, it's all one-sided, all just one half, all lacks completeness,
roundness, oneness. When the exalted Gotama spoke in his teachings of
the world, he had to divide it into Sansara and Nirvana, into deception
and truth, into suffering and salvation. It cannot be done differently,
there is no other way for him who wants to teach. But the world itself,
what exists around us and inside of us, is never one-sided. A person or
an act is never entirely Sansara or entirely Nirvana, a person is never
entirely holy or entirely sinful. It does really seem like this,
because we are subject to deception, as if time was something real.
Time is not real, Govinda, I have experienced this often and often
again. And if time is not real, then the gap which seems to be between
the world and the eternity, between suffering and blissfulness, between
evil and good, is also a deception."

"How come?" asked Govinda timidly.

"Listen well, my dear, listen well! The sinner, which I am and which
you are, is a sinner, but in times to come he will be Brahma again, he
will reach the Nirvana, will be Buddha--and now see: these "times to
come" are a deception, are only a parable! The sinner is not on his
way to become a Buddha, he is not in the process of developing, though
our capacity for thinking does not know how else to picture these
things. No, within the sinner is now and today already the future
Buddha, his future is already all there, you have to worship in him, in
you, in everyone the Buddha which is coming into being, the possible,
the hidden Buddha. The world, my friend Govinda, is not imperfect, or
on a slow path towards perfection: no, it is perfect in every moment,
all sin already carries the divine forgiveness in itself, all small
children already have the old person in themselves, all infants already
have death, all dying people the eternal life. It is nor possible for
any person to see how far another one has already progressed on his
path; in the robber and dice-gambler, the Buddha is waiting; in the
Brahman, the robber is waiting. In deep meditation, there is the
possibility to put time out of existence, to see all life which was,
is, and will be as if it was simultaneous, and there everything is
good, everything is perfect, everything is Brahman. Therefore, I see
whatever exists as good, death is to me like life, sin like holiness,
wisdom like foolishness, everything has to be as it is, everything only
requires my consent, only my willingness, my loving agreement, to be
good for me, to do nothing but work for my benefit, to be unable to ever
harm me. I have experienced on my body and on my soul that I needed sin
very much, I needed lust, the desire for possessions, vanity, and needed
the most shameful despair, in order to learn how to give up all
resistance, in order to learn how to love the world, in order to stop
comparing it to some world I wished, I imagined, some kind of perfection
I had made up, but to leave it as it is and to love it and to enjoy
being a part of it.--These, oh Govinda, are some of the thoughts which
have come into my mind."

Siddhartha bent down, picked up a stone from the ground, and weighed it
in his hand.

"This," he said playing with it, "is a stone, and will, after a
certain time, perhaps turn into soil, and will turn from soil into a
plant or animal or human being. In the past, I would have said: This
stone is just a stone, it is worthless, it belongs to the world of the
Maja; but because it might be able to become also a human being and a
spirit in the cycle of transformations, therefore I also grant it
importance. Thus, I would perhaps have thought in the past. But today
I think: this stone is a stone, it is also animal, it is also god, it is
also Buddha, I do not venerate and love it because it could turn into
this or that, but rather because it is already and always everything--
and it is this very fact, that it is a stone, that it appears to me now
and today as a stone, this is why I love it and see worth and purpose in
each of its veins and cavities, in the yellow, in the gray, in the
hardness, in the sound it makes when I knock at it, in the dryness or
wetness of its surface. There are stones which feel like oil or soap,
and others like leaves, others like sand, and every one is special and
prays the Om in its own way, each one is Brahman, but simultaneously and
just as much it is a stone, is oily or juicy, and this is this very fact
which I like and regard as wonderful and worthy of worship.--But let me
speak no more of this. The words are not good for the secret meaning,
everything always becomes a bit different, as soon as it is put into
words, gets distorted a bit, a bit silly--yes, and this is also very
good, and I like it a lot, I also very much agree with this, that this
what is one man's treasure and wisdom always sounds like foolishness to
another person."

Govinda listened silently.

"Why have you told me this about the stone?" he asked hesitantly after
a pause.

"I did it without any specific intention. Or perhaps what I meant was,
that love this very stone, and the river, and all these things we are
looking at and from which we can learn. I can love a stone, Govinda,
and also a tree or a piece of bark. This are things, and things can be
loved. But I cannot love words. Therefore, teachings are no good for
me, they have no hardness, no softness, no colours, no edges, no smell,
no taste, they have nothing but words. Perhaps it are these which keep
you from finding peace, perhaps it are the many words. Because
salvation and virtue as well, Sansara and Nirvana as well, are mere
words, Govinda. There is no thing which would be Nirvana; there is just
the word Nirvana."

Quoth Govinda: "Not just a word, my friend, is Nirvana. It is a
thought."

Siddhartha continued: "A thought, it might be so. I must confess to
you, my dear: I don't differentiate much between thoughts and words.
To be honest, I also have no high opinion of thoughts. I have a better
opinion of things. Here on this ferry-boat, for instance, a man has
been my predecessor and teacher, a holy man, who has for many years
simply believed in the river, nothing else. He had noticed that the
river's spoke to him, he learned from it, it educated and taught him,
the river seemed to be a god to him, for many years he did not know that
every wind, every cloud, every bird, every beetle was just as divine and
knows just as much and can teach just as much as the worshipped river.
But when this holy man went into the forests, he knew everything, knew
more than you and me, without teachers, without books, only because he
had believed in the river."

Govinda said: "But is that what you call `things', actually something
real, something which has existence? Isn't it just a deception of the
Maja, just an image and illusion? Your stone, your tree, your river--
are they actually a reality?"

"This too," spoke Siddhartha, "I do not care very much about. Let the
things be illusions or not, after all I would then also be an illusion,
and thus they are always like me. This is what makes them so dear and
worthy of veneration for me: they are like me. Therefore, I can love
them. And this is now a teaching you will laugh about: love, oh
Govinda, seems to me to be the most important thing of all. To
thoroughly understand the world, to explain it, to despise it, may be
the thing great thinkers do. But I'm only interested in being able to
love the world, not to despise it, not to hate it and me, to be able to
look upon it and me and all beings with love and admiration and great
respect."

"This I understand," spoke Govinda. "But this very thing was discovered
by the exalted one to be a deception. He commands benevolence,
clemency, sympathy, tolerance, but not love; he forbade us to tie our
heart in love to earthly things."

"I know it," said Siddhartha; his smile shone golden. "I know it,
Govinda. And behold, with this we are right in the middle of the
thicket of opinions, in the dispute about words. For I cannot deny, my
words of love are in a contradiction, a seeming contradiction with
Gotama's words. For this very reason, I distrust in words so much, for
I know, this contradiction is a deception. I know that I am in
agreement with Gotama. How should he not know love, he, who has
discovered all elements of human existence in their transitoriness, in
their meaninglessness, and yet loved people thus much, to use a long,
laborious life only to help them, to teach them! Even with him, even
with your great teacher, I prefer the thing over the words, place more
importance on his acts and life than on his speeches, more on the
gestures of his hand than his opinions. Not in his speech, not in his
thoughts, I see his greatness, only in his actions, in his life."

For a long time, the two old men said nothing. Then spoke Govinda,
while bowing for a farewell: "I thank you, Siddhartha, for telling me
some of your thoughts. They are partially strange thoughts, not all
have been instantly understandable to me. This being as it may, I thank
you, and I wish you to have calm days."

(But secretly he thought to himself: This Siddhartha is a bizarre
person, he expresses bizarre thoughts, his teachings sound foolish.
So differently sound the exalted one's pure teachings, clearer, purer,
more comprehensible, nothing strange, foolish, or silly is contained in
them. But different from his thoughts seemed to me Siddhartha's hands
and feet, his eyes, his forehead, his breath, his smile, his greeting,
his walk. Never again, after our exalted Gotama has become one with the
Nirvana, never since then have I met a person of whom I felt: this is a
holy man! Only him, this Siddhartha, I have found to be like this. May
his teachings be strange, may his words sound foolish; out of his gaze
and his hand, his skin and his hair, out of every part of him shines a
purity, shines a calmness, shines a cheerfulness and mildness and
holiness, which I have seen in no other person since the final death of
our exalted teacher.)

As Govinda thought like this, and there was a conflict in his heart, he
once again bowed to Siddhartha, drawn by love. Deeply he bowed to him
who was calmly sitting.

"Siddhartha," he spoke, "we have become old men. It is unlikely for
one of us to see the other again in this incarnation. I see, beloved,
that you have found peace. I confess that I haven't found it. Tell me,
oh honourable one, one more word, give my something on my way which I
can grasp, which I can understand! Give me something to be with me on
my path. It it often hard, my path, often dark, Siddhartha."

Siddhartha said nothing and looked at him with the ever unchanged,
quiet smile. Govinda stared at his face, with fear, with yearning,
suffering, and the eternal search was visible in his look, eternal
not-finding.

Siddhartha saw it and smiled.

"Bent down to me!" he whispered quietly in Govinda's ear. "Bend down to
me! Like this, even closer! Very close! Kiss my forehead, Govinda!"

But while Govinda with astonishment, and yet drawn by great love and
expectation, obeyed his words, bent down closely to him and touched his
forehead with his lips, something miraculous happened to him. While his
thoughts were still dwelling on Siddhartha's wondrous words, while he
was still struggling in vain and with reluctance to think away time, to
imagine Nirvana and Sansara as one, while even a certain contempt for
the words of his friend was fighting in him against an immense love and
veneration, this happened to him:

He no longer saw the face of his friend Siddhartha, instead he saw
other faces, many, a long sequence, a flowing river of faces, of
hundreds, of thousands, which all came and disappeared, and yet all
seemed to be there simultaneously, which all constantly changed and
renewed themselves, and which were still all Siddhartha. He saw the
face of a fish, a carp, with an infinitely painfully opened mouth, the
face of a dying fish, with fading eyes--he saw the face of a new-born
child, red and full of wrinkles, distorted from crying--he saw the face
of a murderer, he saw him plunging a knife into the body of another
person--he saw, in the same second, this criminal in bondage, kneeling
and his head being chopped off by the executioner with one blow of his
sword--he saw the bodies of men and women, naked in positions and cramps
of frenzied love--he saw corpses stretched out, motionless, cold, void--
he saw the heads of animals, of boars, of crocodiles, of elephants, of
bulls, of birds--he saw gods, saw Krishna, saw Agni--he saw all of these
figures and faces in a thousand relationships with one another, each one
helping the other, loving it, hating it, destroying it, giving re-birth
to it, each one was a will to die, a passionately painful confession of
transitoriness, and yet none of then died, each one only transformed,
was always re-born, received evermore a new face, without any time
having passed between the one and the other face--and all of these
figures and faces rested, flowed, generated themselves, floated along
and merged with each other, and they were all constantly covered by
something thin, without individuality of its own, but yet existing, like
a thin glass or ice, like a transparent skin, a shell or mold or mask of
water, and this mask was smiling, and this mask was Siddhartha's smiling
face, which he, Govinda, in this very same moment touched with his lips.
And, Govinda saw it like this, this smile of the mask, this smile of
oneness above the flowing forms, this smile of simultaneousness above
the thousand births and deaths, this smile of Siddhartha was precisely
the same, was precisely of the same kind as the quiet, delicate,
impenetrable, perhaps benevolent, perhaps mocking, wise, thousand-fold
smile of Gotama, the Buddha, as he had seen it himself with great
respect a hundred times. Like this, Govinda knew, the perfected ones
are smiling.

Not knowing any more whether time existed, whether the vision had lasted
a second or a hundred years, not knowing any more whether there existed
a Siddhartha, a Gotama, a me and a you, feeling in his innermost self
as if he had been wounded by a divine arrow, the injury of which tasted
sweet, being enchanted and dissolved in his innermost self, Govinda
still stood for a little while bent over Siddhartha's quiet face, which
he had just kissed, which had just been the scene of all manifestations,
all transformations, all existence. The face was unchanged, after under
its surface the depth of the thousandfoldness had closed up again, he
smiled silently, smiled quietly and softly, perhaps very benevolently,
perhaps very mockingly, precisely as he used to smile, the exalted one.

Deeply, Govinda bowed; tears, he knew nothing of, ran down his old face;
like a fire burnt the feeling of the most intimate love, the humblest
veneration in his heart. Deeply, he bowed, touching the ground, before
him who was sitting motionlessly, whose smile reminded him of everything
he had ever loved in his life, what had ever been valuable and holy to
him in his life.

HERMANN HESSE

The rest of the book can be found at literature online.

http://www.online-literature.com/hesse/siddhartha/12/

Other Links

The Denial of Evil. How to NOT Know God. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/08/denial-of-evil-how-to-not-know-god.html

Film Plots. Individuation and Becoming Soul and Passion and Compassion

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/film-plots-individuation-becoming-soul.html

The Bloodshed of Ascension. Human Rights. Love. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/bloodshed-of-ascension-human-rights.html

For Good Men and Women To Do Nothing. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/08/for-good-men-and-women-to-do-nothing.html

Self Esteem. The Manna of Heaven on Earth. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/self-esteem-manna-of-heaven-on-earth.html

12 Things I Love About Courage. Sandra Ford Walston

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/12-things-i-love-about-courage-sandra.html

Mistress. Saviour. Friend. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/mistress-friend-saviour-amera-ziganii_03.html

The Sacred Prostitute. The Psychology. Nancy Qualls - Corbett

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/psychology-sacred-prostitute-second.html

Unconditional Love. Christopher Howard

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/unconditional-love-christopher-howard.html

The Power of Boundaries. Christopher Howard

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/power-of-boundaries-christopher-howard.html

The Courage of Living Dangerously. Osho

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/practical-wisdom-courage-osho.html



Amera Ziganii Rao. A Profile
WRITER. ESOTERIC. PHILOSOPHER. ENLIGHTENER. INSPIRER. PHOTOGRAPHER. ARTIST

Amera Ziganii Rao is a philosophical writer, essayist, social commentator, prose writer, dramatist and photographer as well as a consciousness explorer, self actualiser and emotional healer. She is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social and cultural commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is 46 years old and currently lives in London.

AMERA ZIGANII RAO SCHOOL OF LEARNING

Writer and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Education For Liberation. Liberation of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, happy, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. Based on her scholarly and non scholarly work over 14 years, if not for her whole life, and her extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of bliss, the courses will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the near future, in the form of online courses and live events, to begin with. Thank you

AMERA ZIGANII RAO SCHOOL OF LEARNING ll

In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.

Amera Ziganii Rao ©

Esoteric. Self Actualiser. Consciousness Explorer. Philosophical Writer. Essayist. Dramatist. Prose Writer. Photographer. Film & TV Creative. Entrepreneur. Ex-Journalist.

Other Links

Amera Ziganii Rao. A Profile ll

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/amera-ziganii-rao-profile-ll.html

Amera Ziganii Rao Photography

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ziganiirao/

http://ameraziganiiraoart.blogspot.co.uk/



Thank you to outside source for photo. Darkroomed by Amera Ziganii Rao

Reputation. Amera Ziganii Rao

Snake Woman l Pt ll (Artwork)

Reputation. Amera Ziganii Rao

We are all born slaves. It is up to us to find out how and why. And then we are free. Consciousnessness. The politics of the 21st century. Change yourself, change your world and therefore change THE world. We are all born slaves and we are all born to become free.

They have never loved you. No one loves a whore and no one loves a slave. The Beloved Son of The Tribe (and indeed, The Beloved Daughter, because there are many), is nothing but a male whore. They have never loved you. They enslave you and you call them master.

You look like a frustrated Sacred Pimp. You have looked like that for as long as I have known you. Every man I have ever been involved with, has looked like a frustrated, tied up, bound and silenced Sacred Pimp.

Who are you fooling my lovely? Absolutely no one. You are enslaved. But you fool no one. Whatever you do, however you dress, whatever you say, you look like a big, testosterone - filled, Sacred Pimp, dirty minded artist soul man who stands against The Patriarchal Toilet Tribe of Male Homicide and Female Genocide.

Never doubt that for one second. The Beloved Son is not beloved. He is fooled and enslaved. They enslave you every day you pretend. The question you have to ask yourself is, do you believe in your human rights or not?

Or do you just like being a slave and pretending in the illusion of The Beloved Son? Of course not. Like me, having been trapped in the myth of The Incapable, Infant Female, you have been unconsciously trapped in The Beloved Son myth.

Well, this is the truth to set you free. The only way that the tribe would truly love you is if you actually killed yourself, your sex, your appearance and your body. The animal in you. The man. The Avatar. Oh, they do, don't they, everyday? Of course they do. They make you die every day and they make you kill. And they make you kill me too and you don't even know it.

And every day you stay away, they win and enslave you further. Your journey to BECOME unconditional love is to BECOME The Sacred Pimp, fuck reputation and love yourself. Then you can love me.

Do not be under any illusion. Do it if you must, be a slave if you must, but know what it is you are doing. And you will eventually see the walls of your prison fall down by themselves. That, I can guarantee.

Consciousness is the politics of the 21st century. Uncover the lie and you are free forever. Why else do you think that wisdom is the most secretive, elitist knowledge on Earth? Because it sets us free. Free from slavery.

I look at my journey to overcome the myth of romantic love for a woman, the myth of being rescued, the awful Toilet Tribe propaganda of the incapable female and the chattel and the female eunuch and the dehumanisation of myself as a woman to 'get' a man's love, and I know what it is I have done. The miracle I have created and the miracle I have received. I have become a true, honest to God, heroine. I have become a freed slave.

I have actively, viscerally, consciously, in devotion and dedication, 'made' us happen, shared the wisdom and raised us both out of the mire of Tribe existence, day by day by day. As was my purpose. To reverse the helpless, waiting, female victim of the myth of romantic love. That was what I had to do and am sooooo glad I did. That is why I do it and what I do every day. I have fought you, I have taught you and I have worked with you. As it was meant to be. To change that fear in you, that terror of your reputation, out of the horrendous projection called misogyny and the demand that I be a slave too. To you!

My belief that I could only be loved if I killed myself was unfortunately proved oh too true. And we know what I have had to go through to reverse that Tribe sheit of existence. In you. But your equivalent, the root behind that misogyny and need for male supremacy, that myth of male (tribe conformity male or female) stupidness, is the illusion that they actually love you. The Patriarchal Tribe does NOT love you. It does not love anyone or anything. And it most certainly does not love you. It loves you, appears to love you, because you kill yourself every single day. And you call that living.

You are the suicide victim, not me. It's all a myth. They hate you, because they hate. It's not personal. There is nothing in the world you could EVER do that will make you fit in and be loved. Some people grow up to believe they are outsiders and are forever trying to fit in. Either through being born to single parent families or from a class background that does not fit in with conventional ideas of power, or because of being born a different race and certainly gender. Anything. Disability, education, poverty. These are all stigmas that the 'not normal' have. I was born a British Pakistani in the 1960s. I had glasses by the time I was eight years old. I had a birth deformity that was neglected and that affected my whole body and made me feel ugly and different, without me knowing why. None of us are normal, but we are all told that the normal exist and the normal are in power and that is what we see or appear to see everywhere. We are all or mostly outsiders. But how we deal with that is what makes us. Whether it is to become the 'rebel without a cause' who is lost for years in isolation, or indeed, whether it is to become 'the beloved son or daughter' forever reliant on pseudo reputation and fitting in.

But what I know as someone who had both parents around and who has known the inside of the tribe. In the house and in the country, having been born to power and as someone who has lived around social power, and someone who has had big education, for instance, fitting in is a big fat myth too. Just like every other big fat Patriarchal Tribe lie. That is the myth you have chased all your life. There is NO love within the tribe.

The Stockholm Syndrome of loving the abuser applies to you and SOCIETY. It does not have to be with one particular person or family or partner. The Stockholm Syndrome of loving the abuser can be and is most often about society and trying to fit in. We call it reputation. It is a myth. The only way anyone can fit in is by metaphorically killing themselves. Putting on a mask, hiding, pretending to be someone else, denying who we really are.

Reputation is the greatest form of slavery on this planet. The most subtle, invisible form of polite society slavery. Fitting in. Conformity. From an emotional drive that is so far within us we cannot even know it is there. Unless we make the consciousnessness journey within. Where everything is finally uncovered and exterminated forever. Therapy, neuro linguistic programming or meditation, these ancient and modern methods are the methods of wisdom on Earth and the politics and purpose of the 21st century. To free us all as slaves.

But you, as we all do in our different ways before being healed, keep, emotionally and subconsciously, trying to prove that wrong. The The Patriarchal Tribe is of hate. You may agree as you read this, you may still agree tomorrow, but until one clears it emotionally and has the courage to face the truth that one has been fed a lie forever, that demon will keep its grip on you and you will keep 'dying' like a frustrated Sacred Pimp. Male or female.

The Patriachal Toilet Tribe of sexless, mean, cruel, materialistic, conformity and selfish, shallow living IS THE MATRIX.

You will NEVER be loved by the tribe. You can't be. The Tribe is the machine world. The world of machines. Your mothers, your fathers, your uncles and your aunts. All plugged into the machine system of the world. The Patriarchal Tribe Society. The polite society. And to leave them is the most painful thing on Earth. But it is the only way. To leave them is to leave yourself. You are not just leaving all that you know in them. You leave all that you know in yourself and it is painful.

But if you like sex and passion, and you have real heart, you have NO CHOICE. You ARE sex and passion and heart. The tribe HATES that. And will systematically, inevitably and automatically continue killing that in you and making you miserable. It's not personal. It's business as Sonny says in The Godfather. It's not personal. They don't hate you. They just hate.

The whole idea of love for you by the tribe is a huge fat lie and myth. it does not exist.

They have never loved you. No one loves a whore and no one loves a slave. The Beloved Son of The Tribe (and indeed, The Beloved Daughter, because there are many), is nothing but a male whore. They have never loved you. They enslave you and you call them master.

We are all born slaves. It is up to us to find out how and why. And then we are free. Consciousnessness. The politics of the 21st century. Change yourself, change your world and therefore change THE world. We are all born slaves and we are all born to become free.

THE PATRIARCHAL, HOMICIDAL, TOILET TRIBE OF SOCIETY IS THE MATRIX. IT KILLS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

And how do you know I speak the truth? BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS AFRAID OF LOSING THEIR LOVE. That is your biggest fear. In that is the truth.

That is the proof that you know how tenuous and fragile it is. BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS A MYTH AND A LIE AND ILLUSION.

You know.

I can compare easily. In my healing, I was always afraid of losing your love because I knew insstinctively that there was something wrong with me wanting to be rescued. It has been so very painful to leave all that behind but I always knew there was something wrong with my wishes, deep down. Also, of course there is the little matter, that I did lose your love but that is not the point! I knew I would because I knew there was something wrong... view more with it.

You know there is something wrong with The Tribe's apparent love for you. And you know because you know none of it is real. It's all based on lies. You are a whore.

Pure and simple my love. You are a whore. And let's face it, beautiful man of mine, that's why you tried to make me one too. A bully is always being bullied himself or herself. A fundamental truth of human nature. Someone had to have been bullying you too. That is over. I am no longer being forced to love you with stupid Patriarchal Tribe rules. Now it is your healing that both ends and begins. Leave The Tribe. Be my Sacred Pimp.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Reputation, reputation, reputation! Oh, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial.

William Shakespeare

It's easy to be strong. You just have to lose your fear of seeming weak. When we dwell too long on our social standing, we become disempowered. By caring too much about how we may be judged, we grow dependent on approval and  applause. The integrity of our individuality is compromised. We must, of course, be aware of people's feelings - and sensitive to them. Weakness that stems from a desire to avoid doing harm, is strength. Strength shown out of a desire to look good - is weakness!

Jonathan Cainer.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Publius Syrus (42 B.C.)

I see my reputation is at stake, My fame is shrewdly gored. Said by Achilles, speaking to Ulysses after being fatally wounded by Paris at the gates of Troy. Once considered invincible, Achilles acknowledges his own mortality.

Character is like a tree and Reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865), U.S. president.

The great difficulty is first to win a reputation; the next to keep it while you live; and the next to preserve it after you die, when affection and interest are over, and nothing but sterling excellence can preserve your name. Never suffer youth to be an excuse for inadequacy, nor age and fame to be an excuse for indolence.

Benjamin Haydon (1786–1846)

The Love lll Pt lll (Artwork)

There are but two tribes in the world. Amera Ziganii Rao

Those who live by the heart and through the sex of the soul and those who live by the absence of the heart and with no respect for either sex or the soul. The true tribe and the false tribe.

To be liberated from falseness, you have to acknowledge the full horror of non existence that living by the absence of the heart creates and you have to feel your passport to the true tribe.

And once feeling it you have to value it. Otherwise you stay plugged in forever.

My passport to truth was that I just didn't fit in - literally and figuratively. And that trying to fit in almost killed me.

And so I left polite society. With its thirst for power, contempt for humanity, its bigotry, its eurocentric shallowness of bodyfacism and its material greed.

And, oh yes, its hatred for woman. The body of a woman. The sex of the soul and the humanity of the heart.

Where patriarchal domestication means that a woman still believes in the hearth and home, more than she values the sanctity of sex and the independence of the human spirit.

Where patriarchal domestication and enslavement means a man can only believe in the sexless tribe, rather than the sanctity of sex and the independence of the human spirit. And indeed sexual love.

The polite society that breeds a pack of cowards through the greatest, most effective, most matrix entrenched, form of human control on the planet. The Stepford society.

There are but two tribes in the world.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2005

Other Links

Dark Nights of the Soul. Thomas Moore 

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/12/dark-nights-of-soul-solutions-thomas.html 

The Bloodshed of Ascension. Human Rights. Love. The Stockholm Syndrome.

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/bloodshed-of-ascension-human-rights.html

Perfection Takes Time. The Nightmare of Ascension. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/perfection-takes-time-nighmare-of.html

The Beloved Son. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/beloved-son-amera-ziganii-rao.html

The Sacred Prostitute. The Psychology (The Castrated Man). Nancy Qualls - Corbett

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/06/psychology-sacred-prostitute-second.html

Dark Nights of the Soul. Thomas Moore (on Sex and Reputation)

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/dark-nights-of-soul-thomas-moore.html

Freedom. The Right To Be. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/freedom-right-to-be-free-amera-ziganii.html

The Helpless Rochester. Macbeth. The Real Man. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/helpless-rochester-macbeth-real-man.html

Love Returned. Whether I like it or not. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/love-returned-whether-i-like-it-or-not.html

Quest for Freedom. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/quest-for-freedom-amera-ziganii-rao.html

Unconditional Love. Christopher Howard

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/07/unconditional-love-christopher-howard.html

Men in Love. The Triumph of Love over Rage. Nancy Friday

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/men-in-love-mens-sexual-fantasies.html

Dark Angel. Friendship in Love

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/jessica-alba-campari-callender.html

Kama Sutra. The Mira Nair film notes

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/kama-sutra-mira-nair-film-notes.html

Sadomasochism. The Chains of Love. Amera Ziganii Rao

http://ameraziganiirao.blogspot.com/2011/05/sadomasochism-chains-of-love-nancy.html

The Love XVl Pt lll (Artwork) 

AMERA ZIGANII RAO. A PROFILE

AMERA ZIGANII RAO ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™

The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™

The Return To The Source. Ascension.

SOCIAL REFORM. THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND LOVE. SHAMANISM. PHILOSOPHY. TRUE (UNIVERSAL) LOVE. NEO FEMINISM™. ANTI MISOGYNY. THE ARTIST'S WAY. WIZARDRY. TRUE INTELLECTUALISM™. WISDOM. GONZO SPIRITUALITY. NIHILISM. SEX. SOUL. GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE™. SPIRITUAL EXISTENTIALISM™. THE VOID OF CREATION™. ALCHEMY & LIBERATION & HUMANITY™. HELL. SUFFERING. GROWTH. ASCENSION. LOVE. LIFE. DEATH. WARLORDS OF LIGHT™

Writer. Philosopher. Esoteric Mystic. Clair Cognisant. Seer. Hierophant. Enlightener. Inspirer. Visionary. Artist. Creative; Human Rights. Self Actualization. Liberation. Feminization. Masculinisation. Equalization. Spiritualization. Sexualisation. The Merging of Spirituality and Sexuality (again at last). Self Responsibility. Self Empowerment. Healing. Humanity. Imagination. Intelligence. Compassion. Passion. Revolution. War. Power. The Wisdom Society. The Warrior Society. Success. Strength. Happiness. Love.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

Writer, Speaker and Enlightener, Amera Ziganii Rao, is now putting together a comprehensive and unique programme of Alchemy & Liberation & Humanity™. A programme of learning that is specifically about one particular kind of woman. And one particular kind of man. The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the true society that they come from and the one they, in particular, she can and has to return to and that anyone can join her and him in. This is about Paradise on Earth.

This is about The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, and the Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity that is for all as a result of their healing and in particular, hers. This is about the kind of woman who is at the bottom of the pile in a Patriarchal Toilet Tribe from Hell Society™, the norm, the conventional world and the world of the Tribe. This is about the kind of man who is next in line from the bottom. The sensitive man and the female chattel. The High Priestess and High Priest of a profane society, that has long forgotten who they are.

This is about being at the bottom of the pile, for the forgotten and strangled shamans, and for her, the story of escape. Abused by her family, her friends, her men, her whole society, by the very nature of who she is and who they are and what has happened on this Earth. It is about women of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about men of love, of Spirit and of sex. It is about the Cinderellas of this world. It is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™. Who she is and how, loving her is the secret to Paradise on Earth and how we have been living a lie for 8000+ years. A lie of male (non High Priest) religion with a male ‘God’ and with Patriarchs and Patriarchal types and Matriarchs and Matriarchal types ruling over us and making our lives hell, all in the name of family, the tribe and the way things are and should remain. Hate, fascism and profanity. A sick society that vilifies, more than anyone else, the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, just because it was told to. A sick society that calls her Eve. A sick society that has forgotten who we all are, let alone the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and the Sacred Whore High Priest™. This is about us remembering and knowing who WE are.

This is a programme of healing for the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™, and the Sacred Whore High Priest™, to take them and particularly, her, from monstrous levels of low self esteem and lack of self knowledge, back to herself and it is a programme for all those who truly want to love her, and indeed, him. This is a programme for the greatest carers on Earth, who are vilified, destroyed, ridiculed, ignored, abused, used, misused and hated for being everything that those who would steal from us are not. This is a programme to turn Cinderellas into The Sacred Whore High Priestesses and for anyone who wants to love her or live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™. And this is a programme to turn sensitive men into Sacred Whore High Priests™ and for anyone who wants to love him and live by the values of the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and High Priest Society. Love, humanity, Spirit and sex. This is a programme to reverse 8000+ years of witch burning, women hating and healer ridicule. This is about the The Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and all those who would love her and live by her values.

This is about the chance for Paradise on Earth. This is a programme for the most beautiful, kind hearted, wounded women and men on this planet. A programme of how to implement a system of how to beat life, how to survive life and how to resurrect from the grief that is a true life. Alchemy and Liberation and Humanity of the lower mind into the higher mind, the soul and the inner heart and therefore one's true, confident, ‘happy’, successful, creative, sexual, sensual, individual, intelligent, emotionally healed, capable of loving and being loved self. How to turn grief into creation and survive and thrive, despite all the shit, all the pain and all the hurt. How to live in a world of madness, hollowness and cruelty and how to be a winner. How to stand up for oneself and to take back the power that has been stolen from anyone with heart, Spirit and sex. The art and science of Alchemy.

This is a programme, based on my scholarly and non scholarly work over 15 years (so far), if not for my whole life, and my extensive and intense, visceral experiences of self transformation from resignation, cynicism and despair to a state of relative bliss, and above all, the right to be. The programme and the courses and my speaking and indeed my forthcoming book, will cover the method of change. The psychological, sociological, spiritual, cultural, political, emotional and physical and even anthropological methods of change. Why we are here. Who the Sacred Whore High Priestess™ is and why she is here. And who the Sacred Whore High Priest™ is. Why we are here. Who we are and what we are and why we are. The beauty and glory of the truth. The meaning of life, no less. This will be on offer in the future.

My first book of consciousness, my first book of the spiritual politics of humanity, of authentic power and of self love and strength. A comprehensive series of online courses, live events and audio and visual material. Books, live events, CDs and DVDs. And one on one personal empowerment consultations. The Amera Ziganii Rao Method of Change™. The right to be and the way to have the right to be. And indeed, how to maintain the will to live without love. How to BE unconditional, self sufficient, self caring, self love. The right to be and the will to be and the unparalleled success that comes with that. The Lost Knowledge™. HOW to live. And how to heal others, the profane and the sick and the soulless. The others. My Business and that of any Sacred Whore High Priestess™ and Sacred Whore High Priest™, is Human Rights, The Right to a Sexual Society, Self Actualisation and Freedom.

My Business is To Overthrow Fascism, in the Home and in the Country. My business is also mastering destiny. Overthrowing the ultimate 'fascism'. Our journey on Earth and The Return To The Source. Our healing, our ascension and our redemption. Fate. The daily crucifixions of a true life, the challenges and the fury of being healers and people of love on a planet like Earth. Submitting to the journey to liberate and evolve oneself, through following one's heart, however much heartbreak and devastation it leads to on the long long long journey to freedom and then the longer journey to happiness. 'Long Road to Freedom', as Nelson Mandela says. My business is always taking risks, never giving up and making the endless sacrifices it takes to become whole. Enlightenment, Nirvana and then Parinirvana and beyond. My business is pain. My business is bliss.

My business is seeing the truly glory of Spirit on Earth. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Society™ and all that it is. Spirit, humanity, sex and love again at last. And the end of our legacy as either servants or witches or unpaid carers or indeed, ignored mistresses, other women, other men even, and the weirdos that are at the bottom of society. This is our world and it is time to take it back and I can show you how. And that makes my life, truly, worth living. I want you to feel the way I do. Alive, with the right to be and the belligerence to exist in this profane and male ‘God’ led world of male supremacy, female supremacy, domestic, casual fascism, tribe rules from hell, with beautiful and kind, love intelligence laden, female and male Cinderella warriors at the bottom, caring for everyone else and getting nothing but hatred, ridicule and isolation for it. The meek are already inheriting the Earth and I can show you how.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They told you I and my kind were dictators and that you were slaves, when all we had done was love you, honour you as companions and above all, we had let you just live. We were the holy communers, the ones who gave birth to human beings, the leaders of society, the creators of society, the vehicles of Divinity on Earth and the channels of wisdom. The ones who looked after everything and the ones who built everything and ran everything, because we could. And because we loved it. We are and were the force of creation. And you loved us and you lived. But they told you that you ‘deserved’ power too and that we were the ones standing in your way. And you believed them. The oldest ‘divide and rule’ strategy of hate in history and it worked. They used it and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. You had to give up sex, love, magic and your own spiritual gifts and you burnt, destroyed and violated me for 8000 years. The world calls that male supremacy. And indeed, family supremacy, Matriarchal supremacy and supremacy of the material world and all who believe in it. Men and women like you. When all that you are are slaves to a reptile force to generate hate energy for them to live and thrive and vampire the human race. The puppets of a hate force, that chose to destroy women and men like me, for hate to grow, so they could live. You bought it and it worked. The greatest fraud in the history of the world. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past and I forgive you for becoming enslaved and taken over by the machines of the alien reptile force that invaded and took over Earth 8000 years ago. They taught you to hate me and my kind and you believed them. They taught you that my mind was evil. My mind, my sex, my body and my ways of life. The humanity, the glory of sexuality and the glory of creation and creativity and the glory of Divinity in each and every one of us. Our souls. They taught you that human beings are separate from Divinity, that sex was wrong and that women who have minds of their own are uppity slaves. They vilified us but much much worse than that, they destroyed your relationship with all that is unseen, all that we honour and love. They taught you to hate what is really God. By teaching you to hate us, you hated all that is good in yourselves. They taught you to hate the light. They taught you to kill us. The daughters of The Universe. The High Priestesses of God. The Spiritual Mothers. The Sacred Whore High Priestess Avatars of The Universe. The Sacred Army of Love on Earth. The Shamans, the Mystics and the Communers. They called me Eve and blamed me for the downfall of the human race and created the awesome profanity that is religion. Of men, by men and from men. Of reptiles, by reptiles and from reptiles. Christianity, Islam and Judaism and every other philosophy around the world was poisoned. There are no female spiritual leaders left. It is all profanity. They chose you to represent them because they wanted to divide us and they did. They told you to hate me. And you believed them. Now I am back and I forgive you. I forgive you because I can. Because I came here to save your soul. And because I finally know who I am. I am THE High Priestess Monarch of the ancient past. I came here to return your soul to The Source. God, The Mother, The Universe. To return you to what is really God. Because I love you. And because She loves you and your kind, whatever you have done. Whatever you have done to me and whatever you have done to Her. And most of all, whatever you have done to yourself. We forgive you. This is your redemption. Your freedom and your ascension. We are here to save your soul. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

You bought the Sacred Whore like a piece of meat and you called that a wife. Your trophy wives. Your dancing girls. Your chattel and serving girls. Your piece of beauty. You bought us like you would cattle. Then you called it wives. Now you call it prostitution. The High Priestesses of the real God. You bought us to buy God, The Mother, The Universe and you caged us, separated us from our Divine gifts and skills in the Temple and drove us mad and then lost interest in us, because we had no gifts left, no excitement, no hunter in ourselves and no hope or joy left. Then you just called us mad and discarded us. You called us evil and you call love obedience, even though it had already killed us. You moved into our Temples and you played with the divination tools and thought you communed. The destruction of Atlantis was your gift. You stole us from God, The Mother, The Universe and you tried to usurp us. You vilified us, enslaved us and you still envy us today. You call it intuition. You might want to think about this when you hate us out of your jealousy. The mystic gene means physical tortuous pain and taking on the empathy of the human race. All their pains, evils and dark thoughts. We see and feel everything. We make crucial sacrifices to be near Spirit and the unseen and we go without for years. To be shaman is not glamour. I make it glamour. To be shaman is a specific Samurai existence, ascetic and harsh. We commune to be guides. And you take that and you shame yourselves because you just want the meat. You didn’t just want the meat. You wanted our beauty of spirit, our personalities and our love and kindness. And you destroyed them, because you caged us and called us wife. 

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

The High Priestess Sacred Whores, the High Priests and the true protectors. Those who do not have the gift like either the High Priests or especially like the highest of all, the High Priestess Sacred Whores but who honour, protect and facilitate them to the world. Who honour the Shaman Sacred Whores of this world most of all, and who know who they are and who they are not. Who know the difference, who do not envy and who protect and love the representatives of Spirit, GOD, THE MOTHER, THE UNIVERSE, on Earth. Who honour their wisdom and who honour the latent Shaman in themselves too and who honour the communing ability of the High Priestess Sacred Whores. The non violators. Our only friends. The New Society exists. It is called Enlightenment. It is called Love. It is The Holy Grail.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012 

The master race. It's all a lie. You are brought up to be a despot king and it is only your sister who ever tells you that you have become a pratt. The master race is all a lie. There are no kings in an equal world. Your father was misinformed. What he brought you up to be was a killer. Pure and simple. A misogynist. A modern misogynist. A polite killer.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

I enter the magical hours of pure feeling, pure thought, pure imagination and I think and I write and I 'mysticise' the Universe. I escape at will, the truth of my humanless, Samurai solitude, and I pursue the truth of love in myself and in everyone else. I am philosopher. I am shaman. I am alone. I frontier the Soul to be spirit on Earth.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Amera Ziganii Rao is a former hard news journalist who is now turning professional with her art forms and indeed, her healing forms, after a long journey of inner searching, self teaching and exploring many layers and areas of both craft and wisdom. She is now working on her first book of philosophy and esoteric thought, and social, cultural and spiritual commentary. She is also showing her first photography collections. And last but most definitely not least, she is building a business to share her Sacred Whore High Priestess Society consciousness and empowering explorations to reach as many people as possible across the world. She is in her forties and lives in London.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

In the meantime, please enjoy this website. I have included many of the subjects I am covering, areas of experience and insight that I will be exploring to the fullest in my book, the courses and all the other work that is to come as a dramatist, novelist and essayist. I also of course, include many of the wise people on this planet, who have come long before me; authors, screen dramatists, playwrights, film makers, artists, and other enlighteners and grand carriers of the wisdom I have found the most helpful on my journey, to find peace and become enlightened. The seemingly impossible journey, in the face of oneself and one’s circumstances. People who have contributed massively to my healing on this mad journey called life, in this insane existence called The Universe. People who have helped to make me as good a carrier of wisdom as I in turn, can be. Thank you.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2011

Copyright and intellectual property rights are serious issues. And legally protected. Please do not reproduce my work anywhere without due credit and obviously, never for financial gain. 'Big Sister' is watching you! Other than that, please continue to enjoy my original work and the work of (credited) others, for free, while I work on using my material in further professional formats. Thank you for your interest and support.

Amera Ziganii Rao © 2012

Thank you to outside source for artwork. Darkroomed by Amera Ziganii Rao